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What do you think of relationships with age gaps?
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42 / M / A Mile High
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Posted 5/11/15
Personally, I just can't imagine being in a relationship with someone younger than myself. I just prefer maturity and a well developed sense of self in those around me; and most young people are still in the process of finding out and developing who they really are.. Definitely no one younger than 30; it would be like having another child, just without the tax credit.
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22 / F / NY
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Posted 5/11/15 , edited 5/11/15
i don't/won't/not interested in dating anyone younger than me (i'm 20), only same age or older (like i'd see someone if they were 35 even, maybe, depends)

idrc really besides underage relationships because they are an absolute NO and extremely inappropriate

in regards to friendships i try to avoid talking to those under 18
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 5/12/15
The answer is love.
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27 / M
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Posted 5/12/15 , edited 5/13/15
It really depends on the person. All I can explain are my tendencies. I've found someone 40 to be pretty attractive even though physically she was like 7/10 but that is very unusual. I tend to like women slightly older than me (ranging from a few months to a couple of years). Younger ones can be attractive as well but I generally find people under 21 to be too immature, inexperienced, impulsive, ignorant, illogical, and prone to outbursts. I've also dated someone who was 17 so both ends of the spectrum are covered. I value the looks but I also hold emotional stability to be a very important quality. Probably a more important quality than looks. She doesn't need to be a genius. She just needs to be stable and at least an acceptably decent and rational human being.

This wasn't really the case when I was 18 or something. I was more attracted to slightly younger, kooky girls back then. My prom-date-to-be was a nutcase. Then, I dated a girl who was 2 or 3 years older than me. I guess things can change.

My friends, on the other hand, are all over the place. I'm friends with 19 year olds as well as 40 year olds. As long as they're cool and we mesh in our interactions, that's all I require.

I try not to generalize based on something as arbitrarily important as the number of days or years lived, so nobody is really 100% off the radar, but these are just the things I've experienced.

Hmm, a lot of people seem to be mixing illegality with unattractiveness/incompatibility. I must point out that the laws regarding legal age are pretty much there only because a line needs to be drawn SOMEWHERE. Some places regard 16 as the age of adulthood. Other places go with 21. In the past, it was 12 or 14. Think for yourselves and please don't confuse what the law says in this particular area with your own preferences. Don't be so insincere toward yourself. This is not to say that you should openly pursue minors, since breaking the law will lead to consequences. However, even in the law, this is widely recognized and there is room for relationships with minors. We no longer ding people for being 16 and 18 and in a romantic relationship, for example. I merely point out that the age of adulthood in your area should not be a bright-line rule for who you consider attractive or mature in this vast world. Personality traits are more accurate indicators.
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23 / F / SCANDINAVIA
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Posted 5/12/15
It matters more when you are 20 and younger. With that said, I am not really sure I would go out with someone if the gap was 10+

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25 / M / Finland
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Posted 5/12/15
While I have no experience in relationships, I would say I'd personally date someone in the 18-30 age range. As for others, I can't see a reason why pairs couldn't have large age gaps. Whether it works for them or not depends on them as individuals rather than their age.
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Posted 5/12/15
As you get older, it doesn't really matter anymore. It's not about the numbers but rather where you both are in your lives and what your long-term goals are.

I've dated someone 12 years older when I was 19, obviously did not work out. He wanted to settle down and I was still in school then, just wanting to party. He already had it "made" and I just was starting out trying to figure out what I want in life.

Eventually married someone just 2 years older later on who shared a lot in common with me. Similar upbringing, values, and most importantly, we were in the same point in our lives that we are just learning and just happy to figure out life together.
Posted 5/12/15 , edited 5/12/15

devouringdragons wrote:

I don't really think age matters in relationships. Unless its too much of a gap or illegal.
I personally like older people, I'm not going to give a figure though.


Bro there not law that prohibits any relations or any kind of relations, nor prohibits any age. Is only when it comes to sex with minors. So legally speaking an adult can date a minor in America.

To answer the question. Me personally I like people who are older than me or younger than me, by a lot. Reason. People the same age has me I generally find them boring. Don't know why I just do. Although I open to the idea it will take a lot of convincing for me to agree to date somebody the same age has me.

xxJing 
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30 / M / Duckburg
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Posted 5/12/15
It doesn't bother me typically. However, I feel very awkward about the idea of a person going out with another person only old enough to be their child, or grand child.

I have noticed that people are getting flack for even small age gaps though. One example was in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Everyone was teasing Scott about being a cradle robber for dating Knives, even though she was only 6 years younger than him. Single digit differences don't seem all that significant to me at all.
Posted 5/12/15

Morbidhanson wrote:

It really depends on the person. All I can explain are my tendencies. I've found someone 40 to be pretty attractive even though physically she was like 7/10 but that is very unusual. I tend to like women slightly older than me (ranging from a few months to a couple of years). Younger ones can be attractive as well but I generally find people under 21 to be too immature, inexperienced, impulsive, ignorant, illogical, and prone to outbursts. I've also dated someone who was 17 so both ends of the spectrum are covered. I value the looks but I also hold emotional stability to be a very important quality. Probably a more important quality than looks. She doesn't need to be a genius. She just needs to be stable and at least an acceptably decent and rational human being.

This wasn't really the case when I was 18 or something. I was more attracted to slightly younger, kooky girls back then. My prom-date-to-be was a nutcase. Then, I dated a girl who was 2 or 3 years older than me. I guess things can change.

My friends, on the other hand, are all over the place. I'm friends with 19 year olds as well as 40 year olds. As long as they're cool and we mesh in our interactions, that's all I require.

I try not to generalize based on something as arbitrarily important as the number of days or years lived, so nobody is really 100% off the radar, but these are just the things I've experienced.

Hmm, a lot of people seem to be mixing illegality with unattractiveness/incompatibility. I must point out that the laws regarding legal age are pretty much there only because a line needs to be drawn SOMEWHERE. Some places regard 16 as the age of adulthood. Other places go with 21. In the past, it was 12 or 14. Think for yourselves and please don't confuse what the law says in this particular area with your own preferences. Don't be so insincere toward yourself. This is not to say that you should openly pursue minors, since breaking the law will lead to consequences. However, even in the law, this is widely recognized and there is room for relationships with minors. We no longer ding people for being 16 and 18 and in a romantic relationship, for example. I merely point out that the age of adulthood in your area should not be a bright-line rule for who you consider attractive or mature in this vast world. Personality traits are more accurate indicators.


Has always you are very wise. I remember having a 14 year old girl hitting on me but I did't go out with her. Why ? For the same reason you say. Is all bout Personality traits with me. She was hot but her personalty was a fucking nightmare. I have a friend that she was 16 year old and she was more mature than some people I know who are 41 years old. I would't go out of my way to date somebody 13 or 14 years old but if somebody that young ask me out and have a nice personally, I give it a try and see what happens.

I have question for you. Why do you think people assume that sex is always a thing in a romantic relation, especially when involving a minor ?
Posted 5/12/15
It's whatever, shit happens.
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22 / F / Washington
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Posted 5/13/15 , edited 5/13/15
For me I'm 20 dating an 18 year old and we've been dating for 2 1/2 years. To be honest I didn't want to date a guy younger than me before I met Derrick at 17 (quickly turned 18 after). I mean with me being 17 any guy younger was too immature for me except for Derrick. He seemed older than me and a lot of people mistake him for being 20+ when he was 16. So age does matter to me at a certain point with the max being 10 years older and 2 years younger (as of right now) even though I'm taken

Though I think it does matter in some ways. Like lets say a 20 yo. and 43 yo. are dating. They are at different stages in their lives like the 43 yo. is ready to settle down while that 20 yo. still is in college and wants to enjoy their life doing other things. If you're roughly the same age (as in not old enough to be ones parent to the other) you can experience life together and those stages together while if you are in two different stages it's sometimes hard to be on the same page. Like Derrick is graduating HS in like 2 weeks but I've been ready to move in and start our life together for a while now but he was still in high school. Even though we were roughly the same age we were at different points in our lives. I'm just not a patient person though haha
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Posted 5/13/15 , edited 5/13/15
Increases with age, I found my parents spent less and less time together.
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33 / F / Earth
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Posted 5/13/15
My ex was 8 years older than me. The age gap was not the problem (broke up for different reasons). I will never date anyone in the early 20s, too imature, or anyone after 40, at that point everything seems too slow and old depending on the person, some in their 40s are still young at spirit and looks
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27 / M
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Posted 5/13/15

KarenAraragi wrote:

Has always you are very wise. I remember having a 14 year old girl hitting on me but I did't go out with her. Why ? For the same reason you say. Is all bout Personality traits with me. She was hot but her personalty was a fucking nightmare. I have a friend that she was 16 year old and she was more mature than some people I know who are 41 years old. I would't go out of my way to date somebody 13 or 14 years old but if somebody that young ask me out and have a nice personally, I give it a try and see what happens.

I have question for you. Why do you think people assume that sex is always a thing in a romantic relation, especially when involving a minor ?


I think sex is something that is normally associated with a romantic relationship. And romantic relationships very often DO involve it, so I can't blame people for assuming that it is taking place. I personally think it's more problematic if someone regularly has one night stands with different minors (interested only in sex with them) than if he/she has a significant other who just so happens to be a minor.
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