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Working on a draft and need some insight or inspiration? Post it here, and see what the group thinks of your art!
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This is the start of a longer fairy tale that I am writing for children. Something you can read a chapter a day to a child as like a bedtime story, but much longer than a small picture book.

Passion Of A Black Fire Heart

~Chapter One~

There was once a Wolf Prince who walked the land of Amaterasu, The land of Black Fire. He always walked alone, dressed in black, an ornate blade in hand, ready to cut down any who opposed his rule, or any who might attack him. He was not the handsomest creature in this land, but his heart was indeed the blackest. He had endured some of life's most difficult challenges, and he claimed to be ready for more. That's when life threw a challenge at him that even the Wolf Prince could not have ever foreseen. Life had thrown him nothing but challenges to test his life, his mettle, his brain, and even his soul, but the Wolf Prince never expected this test, this one challenge; the challenge of heart.
The Wolf Prince walked through his land one day, and as he walked he saw a girl, one that made even his black heart flutter at the sight. She looked back, into his bright steel blue angry eyes, smiled and walked into the woods nearby. The Wolf Prince couldn't help but to follow. As he walked into the woods he heard her voice, singing through to him, guiding him to her. He began to run, he desperately wanted to see her again, he ran and ran, until he was out of breath, exhausted and lost. A slow mist began to form, making it almost impossible to see, he grabbed for his blade, only now realizing it was gone. He looked quickly around him, growing weary from tiredness, he passed out asleep.
When he awoke the mist was gone, his blade by his side, and the girl over him, peering at him with curious eyes. He looked into her glowing eyes, and his heart fluttered once more. He couldn't understand what was happening to him, but he knew it was because of her, because of the Raven Princess...
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This is a spoof of The Lord of The Rings I made one day out of sheer boredom at work, and then I read it back to myself and thought I was onto something. Thoughts?

Lord Of The Truffles

The Lindor of Mordor, the unholy and desecrated candy from the fires of Choc Doom, this was the piece of candy from legends so old, that none could remember their origin..

It is said, that once in a place where little keeblers lived, there was a chosen one, and his name was Lindt Lover, and he lived in a tree, not a tree filled with ants and bees or covered in moss or rotted dry, but a humble home of a tree, a keebler tree. This was as homey a place as ever there was, it was warm, dry, and always welcoming to guests and friends alike. This was a tree that therein lived Lindt, a brave little Keebler, who did not yet know he was brave, and who was bound for greatness, though he did not yet know that either, and that, is where our tale begins...
Lindt was as normal as a Keebler comes, he always followed the rules, he washed his face and kept good hygiene and he never, ever did anything that would draw attention to himself. He was about the normal size for a Keebler, standing just taller than a mans knee cap, and he was in fit shape for working on the sugar patty fields. However, for such a normal Keebler, he had no idea, that his destiny was to lead an epic adventure of proportions larger than he could ever imagine...
It all started on his Uncle Sprungli's OneThousandOneHundredEleventieth birthday, which as you can imagine, made him quite the elderly little Keebler, and many of the Keebler folk had always wondered how he had managed it, as they usually don't live past eight hundred or so. Nevertheless, on Uncle Sprungli's birthday, little Lindt's life would change forever, and he did not yet know it.
Lindt yelled to his Uncle "I've finished my work in the fields uncle, and I'd like to wait for our guest of honor out on the cross tracks!" "Fine, fine, just keep out of trouble." His uncle replied. Lindt ran the length of their home and down the lane leading to the outskirts of town, and to to cross tracks, where the traders and travelers always crossed to enter the Scaldrin, the Keebler's home land. As Lindt sat by the tracks, he would often imagine himself one day setting foot across them, and going on an adventure, taking along his friends from the Scaldrin, to find treasures and fight evil and return as heroes, though Lindt would never tell his Uncle about his daydreams for fear of reprisal. While Lindt was on one of his imaginary ventures, he did not notice the man riding toward him in a wagon, wearing grey robes, and a tall pointy hat, until he was almost upon him. With a puff of smoke from his pipe the elderly man on the wagon looked at Lindt and Lindt returned his gaze with a short reply; "You are late good sir". The old man took another puff of smoke, and blew a rather large billowy ring, before replying; "I am never late, I arrive precisely when I intend to". The two started at each other rather fiercely for a moment, before bursting into unhindered laughter. "Rodolphe! How I've missed you and your magic sky rockets!" Lindt exclaimed. "Young Lindt, you've grown a whole 4 inches since last I have laid eyes upon you!" Rodolphe stated before turning his eye to the village below. "Are they expecting me?" "Only Uncle, he wants it to be a surprise for the rest of the folk". "He always was a devious party planner" Rodolphe stated as he tapped his wagon. "Join me, lets go down into the village and be a grand surprise". Lindt hopped onto Rodolphes wagon, and began the trek into the village, telling Rodolphe all about the daily life in the Scaldrin, and about how much had remained the same since his last visit. Upon reaching his uncles abode, Lindt dismounted and told Rodolphe he would grab his uncle. Lindt ran inside, yelling the whole way "Uncle! Uncle Sprungli! Rodolphe is here! The Wizard is here, he's back!!!" "Quiet down child, what's all this fuss?" "Rodolphe has returned uncle!" "Good gracious, take me to him then Lindt." Lindt led his uncle to the wagon, but Rodolphe was nowhere to be seen. "Rodolphe?" Lindt trailed off as a sharp pop snapped behind him and his uncle, upon turning there was a column of smoke and fire behind them that quickly wrapped them both. Lindt and his uncle both cried out expecting to be burned, but found that they were not, but instead were now being embraced by Rodolphe. "Curse the rainbow Rodolphe, I am too old for these tricks of yours, you about gave me a sugar coated heart attack!" Sprungli exclaimed with a failed attempt to hide the smile on his face. "You are only as old as you feel, but you are getting up there my friend, you simply must tell me over a cup of warm chocolate how you have managed to extend your life so long, a special diet or exercise perhaps?" "A special diet for sure, Rodolphe, a special diet for sure." Srungli reached into his pocket with a strange twisted face for but a brief second, zoning out all that was around him, before regaining his composure. "I will leave you to preparing for tonight Rodolphe, I look forward to your show. Lindt, help me clean up the study will you?" With that, Sprungli turned and retreated to his tree. "I will see you tonight then Rodolphe?" "Shall you?" Rodolphe replied. "I should hope so, we have a lot to catch up on" Lindt replied back, before turning to join his uncle. Rodolphe chuckled as Lindt retired to his tree, but then a concerned brow formed, as he pondered something unknown.
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Posted 5/29/15 , edited 5/29/15
Fire and Water: (A current work in progress and largely unedited so I appreciate any help)



Ardonis grabbed his long red braid and threw it back across his shoulder. He couldn’t figure out why today it was such a bother. Normally his hair was fairly well behaved, staying nicely behind him while he worked. He was nearly considering removing it entirely. Any other day the thought wouldn’t have crossed his mind but he was behind schedule and the priestesses would be arriving from the temple soon.

He heated the metal again before bending it more deeply. He really wasn’t a jeweler and in his mind it showed. He felt the piece was far too rough for the one he was making it for. She deserves so much better. He thought. Still, the odds of her wearing it were negligible at best. Priestesses did not wear much jewelry.

He turned the bracelet over in his hand. The band was nearly bent to the right shape and size now. It felt so tiny against the palm of his hand, still warm from the last heating. He had been cutting and shaping on it for weeks in secret, afraid someone might tell her.

It had taken him some time to even find the right combinations of metal. This soft silver was a mixture of Mithril and standard silver with protective enchantments. He had found the pieces for it in scrap left behind after repairing goods for the royal army.

The bracelet itself was nothing more than a narrow flattened band of silver with etchings in it. Nothing too ornate, but soft vines cut out of the band that would, if put on skin, expose the flesh beneath. He had fashioned the pattern after one he had used before while making gifts the Holy Matriarch had wanted for one of her initiates.

Ardonis sighed softly, his mind getting away again.I wonder if it will ever have the chance to touch Song’s skin. She so often wore so many thick layers of clothing and peculiar thick gloves.

All the younger initiates were required to wear these gloves. in fact, many of the priestesses still wore them. She wasn’t a full priestess yet, barely an adult, yet not quite reaching the age of initiation. Her status as an initiate is something he was praying would give him a last chance at winning her heart.

He heard the door to his shop fling open and there stood another of the many Moon Elves from the kingdom. This one he had done business with before. Unlike the king’s knights, he always paid for all of his repairs himself and quite often in advance. Dealing with the king’s men often took weeks or months for payment. Despite the tension that always existed between this elf and him, he enjoyed the gold provided through their transactions.

“Good to see you Tel’than.” Ardonis spoke loudly. His ears often were dulled from the sound of his own hammer. “How can I help you today?”

Tel’than looked at him a moment. “Did you take a sudden interest in jewelry making today, Ardonis?” He asked motioning a perfectly manicured hand towards the bracelet. His soft lavender skin shimmered in the light from the fire within the forge.

“Call it a hobby.” Ardonis replied quickly setting the small piece aside. “Now, how can I help you?”

“Mithril, are you any good with it?” The elf was being intentionally brief. It was his way of expressing displeasure with the entire situation of having to ask an apparent human for help. In fact, he would rather place it into the hands of a dwarf and he rather detested those creatures as well.

“Exceptional, in fact.” Ardonis replied letting his green eyes meet the sharply pink ones of his customer. It was hard not to notice the silvery hooped piercings of his right ear and eyebrow.

Tel’than’s white hair was, as usual perfectly straight down his back. He kept it tucked neatly behind his long ears, so that it did not disrupt his work. His clothing was nearly always dark colored, today was no exception. He wore a black shirt, with an offset half square neckline on a low v-neck. There were no actual sleeves and the opening in the front exposed a slight hint of a tattoo on the elf’s chest.

The only thing close to color that the elf wore today was a set of dark grey belts. There were at least six of them on either leg tied in a row falling off of the main belt that he wore. Otherwise, his entire wardrobe was black. Even the handle of the double handed blade strapped across his back was covered in deep black leather.

“I do not see how we tolerate a human such as you.” The elf said. “But better you than a dwarf I suppose. At least you can work our wares.”

“Anything you need, or are you here to annoy the blacksmith? I might add; annoying your blacksmith may not be the best of ideas…” Ardonis replied. At least I had restraint to not ask if he came to be the raving ass he sometimes is… He thought.

He had turned back to his project and was barely looking up from his work now. He wanted this piece to be perfect, but as usual the elf would continue to disrupt him until he got his way. He set down the bracelet gently and looked directly at the elf again.

“I will send the chain here by courier this afternoon and shall expect notice as soon as it is ready for me. Is that understood human or do I need to speak more slowly?” Tel’than was annoyed by this child. Certainly the Sisters could come up with something better, his thoughts intoned. He was confused, thus far the human had not been replaced.

“Fine, but the work for the temple will have to come before your works.” Ardonis replied.

“Fair enough. Aside of that, have you seen that fool brother of mine?”

“He was here earlier. I’m sure he’ll be back.” Ardonis replied. It always annoyed him the way that Tel’than spoke of Tel’rahn. You would never imagine they were twins. There was nearly no bond between them.

“Then I shall wait.” The elf replied. He walked over near the doorway and leaned heavily against the stone and wood wall. He silently watches Ardonis work.

Ardonis sighed. He really didn’t want the elf around but there wasn’t a thing to be done for it. The bracelet was nearly done now, so he went back to work. He was doing his best to ignore the presence of the broody elf.

He hardly noticed the next person to walk through the door and wouldn’t have if she hadn’t have come with a very familiar scent. Lavender flowers, she always smelled like lavender.
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@Lillith_Vecie I am not very good at catching minute errors in grammar, however your spelling looks really good, the story line flows nicely, and I can't see anything majorly wrong with the text. There are a few sentences I needed to reread in order to grasp exactly what you were saying though. My recommendation is to read the story slowly and out loud to yourself. You will catch the sentences I am talking about, because they won't roll off the tongue right. Edit them to flow a little better, and I think you'll have a great first chapter.
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@ PlatinumWolf Thank you. I have a small issue with my sentence structure. Sometimes it turns up while I am talking also. People have pointed it out a time or two. My father among his dozen or so trades graduated college as an English-Math major and enjoyed making us read more archaic forms of language... and speaking that way as well. *chuckleS* I'll read over it again, I can usually catch it the second or third time around.
Thanks so much for the Input. I am terrible at editing my own work.
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@Lillith_Vecie No problem lol that's why I made these forums ^-^
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Flower of the North

Excerpt of Chapter One: Set in Ice


Her blue green eyes settle on the horizon as her long bond tresses blow softly in the breeze. Indeed she was just as they had told him: glowing in beauty with slender lines and more than ample in hips and breast.

His job was to pose as the prince of the neighbouring land and steal this beauty away. Doing so would easily pass his mind. It was the thought of releasing her that troubled him, but perhaps he could have some fun first.

Her name was Lilje Hapsburg, daughter of Jarl Hapsburg of the eastern holding and the Norse lands and what was left of the great Prussian kingdoms. This also made her niece of the emperor himself.

The man longed for the challenge to steal the girl, but another challenge came to his lust driven mind. "Perhaps I can seduce her." He whispers to himself.

His father had seduced three of the women he had been charged to kidnap. One of whom was a young queen over a slave region in Africa... that one was this man's mother... however without a claim to legitimacy her other children would inherit the lands.

Lilje ah yes.. that's what I should focus on right now. he cleared his mind after this though, focusing on the girl standing in the garden.

Lilje was nearly eighteen years of age, by all rights nearly too old to how to marry off. No man, no suitor had passed her test, despite the many who had tried. Most of those attempts strictly due to her beauty. It was clear to him why.

If he were a man of music he would write a song. Her eyes did easily rival the Mediterranean Sea. Her hair would place the wild wheat fields and African sands to shame for the color.

This was their second meeting. He had for five weeks been claiming the name Gareth Galloway, in fact his half brother. He hoped her lack of guards today could be progress. He needed an opportunity to steal her with minimal witnesses.

She though, was paying no mind to him at all. Finally he walks to stand next to her.

"Lady Lilje, lovely as always to see the most beautiful flower in this garden." He smiles at her, hoping somehow hoping gain her notice .

She looks at him a moment. "Prince Gareth, a charming anecdote such as this may pleasure the women of your lands.. However, we are unimpressed. Perhaps one would be better should they employ wit over charm."

"I speak only truth Milady. For what gain I in flattery?" Yet his thoughts would continue don't be a complicated bitch now

"A flower fed on charm alone withers within the sun. If we were to take heart in the charms of others we would fail within ourselves and expire shortly after cut from our stems."

Her voice was a melody and he has already discovered her words were coded riddles for her suitors to uncover. Indeed a mystery and challenge.

She was right though.. girls back home were fickle and easy. He'd had the wine if their lips until it could no longer make him drunk. He tasted and sampled their fruits until they were flavorless...

He even murdered one such tasteless tart, for bearing his brother's child while they were in an actual relationship. Honestly part of the reason there had been so few true ones. Tasteless, flavorless, plain faced women...

In short, he was bored... which is why this job was taken.
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This is just a little something I wrote today, its's still a draft, but I thought it was good enough to share. It's a parody of Frozen's "Let it Go" with a dash of Kuzco. Let me know what you think!
(Inspired by a random post I saw on Facebook, and a few friends)



Let Me Groove

The sun glows hot on Machu Pichu today
Everywhere's a llama to be seen
It's a kingdom of boogieing,
And it looks like I'm the King.

The wind is howling like this swirling groove inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!

Let them in, Let them see
Be the bad guy I always wanted to be
Reveal, get the feel, let them know
Well, now they know!

Let me groove, let me groove
Can't hold it back anymore
Let me groove, let me groove
Don't get in my way or it's the door!

I don't care
What they're going to say
Let the groove rage on,
The crowd never bothered me anyway!

It's funny how some grooving
Makes everything seem schway
And the fears that once controlled me
Have all gone away!

It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and breakdance through
All right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

Let me groove, let me groove
I am one with the music and the flow
Let me groove, let me groove
Get in my way and it's out the window!

Here I dance
And here I'll sing
Let the groove rage on!

My dancing flurries through the air into the crowd
My soul is shining with disco colors all around
And one potion transmogrifies Eyzma into a cat
I'm totally going back,
The future is in the past!

Let me groove, let me groove
When I turn back I'll dance until the dawn
Let me groove, let me groove
The Emperor will never be gone!

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the groove rage on,
The crowd never bothered me anyway!

Ian L. Niswonger (The Art Is Not Mine)
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and... i might have almost died laughing if not for the little voice reminding me.. I've come to hate that song...'

Honestly this was a lot of fun.
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So I edited the formatting of this one in order to make it a little easier to read. Still have yet to take the time to continue it, and not sure if I should, or leave it as a one chapter spoof? Let me know!


The Lord of The Truffles



~Chapter One~

The Lindor of Mordor, the unholy and desecrated candy from the fires of Choc Doom, this was the piece of candy from legends so old, that none could remember their origin..

It is said, that once in a place where little keeblers lived, there was a chosen one, and his name was Lindt Lover, and he lived in a tree, not a tree filled with ants and bees or covered in moss or rotted dry, but a humble home of a tree, a keebler tree. This was as homey a place as ever there was, it was warm, dry, and always welcoming to guests and friends alike. This was a tree that therein lived Lindt, a brave little Keebler, who did not yet know he was brave, and who was bound for greatness, though he did not yet know that either, and that, is where our tale begins...

Lindt was as normal as a Keebler comes, he always followed the rules, he washed his face and kept good hygiene and he never, ever did anything that would draw attention to himself. He was about the normal size for a Keebler, standing just taller than a mans knee cap, and he was in fit shape for working on the sugar patty fields. However, for such a normal Keebler, he had no idea, that his destiny was to lead an epic adventure of proportions larger than he could ever imagine...

It all started on his Uncle Sprungli's OneThousandOneHundredEleventieth birthday, which as you can imagine, made him quite the elderly little Keebler, and many of the Keebler folk had always wondered how he had managed it, as they usually don't live past eight hundred or so. Nevertheless, on Uncle Sprungli's birthday, little Lindt's life would change forever, though he did not yet know it.

Lindt yelled to his Uncle

"I've finished my work in the fields uncle, and I'd like to wait for our guest of honor out on the cross tracks!"

"Fine, fine, just keep out of trouble."

His uncle replied. Lindt ran the length of their home and down the lane leading to the outskirts of town, and to to cross tracks, where the traders and travelers always crossed to enter the Scaldrin, the Keebler's home land. As Lindt sat by the tracks, he would often imagine himself one day setting foot across them, and going on an adventure, taking along his friends from the Scaldrin, to find treasures and fight evil and return as heroes, though Lindt would never tell his Uncle about his daydreams for fear of reprisal.

While Lindt was on one of his imaginary ventures, he did not notice the man riding toward him in a wagon, wearing grey robes, and a tall pointy hat, until he was almost upon him. With a puff of smoke from his pipe the elderly man on the wagon looked at Lindt and Lindt returned his gaze with a short reply

"You are late good sir".

The old man took another puff of smoke, and blew a rather large billowy ring, before replying

"I am never late, I arrive precisely when I intend to".

The two started at each other rather fiercely for a moment, before bursting into unhindered laughter.

"Rodolphe! How I've missed you and your magic sky rockets!"

Lindt exclaimed.

"Young Lindt, you've grown a whole 4 inches since last I have laid eyes upon you!"

Rodolphe stated before turning his eye to the village below.

"Are they expecting me?"

"Only Uncle, he wants it to be a surprise for the rest of the folk"

"He always was a devious party planner"

Rodolphe stated as he tapped his wagon.

"Join me, lets go down into the village and be a grand surprise"

Lindt hopped onto Rodolphes wagon, and began the trek into the village, telling Rodolphe all about the daily life in the Scaldrin, and about how much had remained the same since his last visit. Upon reaching his uncles abode, Lindt dismounted and told Rodolphe he would grab his uncle. Lindt ran inside, yelling the whole way

"Uncle! Uncle Sprungli! Rodolphe is here! The Wizard is here, he's back!!!"

"Quiet down child, what's all this fuss?"

"Rodolphe has returned uncle!"

"Good gracious, take me to him then Lindt."

Lindt led his uncle to the wagon, but Rodolphe was nowhere to be seen.

"Rodolphe...?"

Lindt trailed off as a sharp pop snapped behind him and his uncle, upon turning there was a column of smoke and fire behind them that quickly wrapped them both. Lindt and his uncle both cried out expecting to be burned, but found that they were not, but instead were now being embraced by Rodolphe.

"Curse the rainbow Rodolphe, I am too old for these tricks of yours, you about gave me a sugar coated heart attack!"

Sprungli exclaimed with a failed attempt to hide the smile on his face.

"You are only as old as you feel, but you are getting up there my friend, you simply must tell me over a cup of warm chocolate how you have managed to extend your life so long, a special diet or exercise perhaps?"

"A special diet for sure, Rodolphe, a special diet for sure."

Srungli reached into his pocket with a strange twisted face for but a brief second, zoning out all that was around him, before regaining his composure.

"I will leave you to preparing for tonight Rodolphe, I look forward to your show. Lindt, help me clean up the study will you?"

With that, Sprungli turned and retreated to his tree.

"I will see you tonight then Rodolphe?"

"Shall you?"

Rodolphe replied.

"I should hope so, we have a lot to catch up on"

Lindt replied back, before turning to join his uncle. Rodolphe chuckled as Lindt retired to his tree, but then a concerned brow formed, as he pondered something unknown.....


~Chapter Two~

Should there be a second chapter in the grand story of "The Lord of The Truffles"? Let me know!
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