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Post Reply Show don't tell!
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Posted 5/28/15

qualeshia3 wrote:



I wish I can describe the way I see it in my mind because it is so vivid. I just can't find the right words.


You can try breaking down your description down to the five basic senses and see if that helps?

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Posted 5/28/15

adrianc0 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I wish I can describe the way I see it in my mind because it is so vivid. I just can't find the right words.


You can try breaking down your description down to the five basic senses and see if that helps?



I will try it.
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Posted 5/29/15

qualeshia3 wrote:


adrianc0 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I wish I can describe the way I see it in my mind because it is so vivid. I just can't find the right words.


You can try breaking down your description down to the five basic senses and see if that helps?



I will try it.



so many quotes within quotes within quotes

I didn't really get anything out of that
something about a situational environment where a character is placed in a setting with a social aspect and to demonstrate his or her personality and charisma through a brief dialogue - also body behaviour

no idea but that's something
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Posted 5/29/15



Sorry about that.
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Posted 6/10/15 , edited 6/10/15
Telling and not showing is one of those things that gives a lot of people who are starting to get serious about writing a lot of trouble. If you're having trouble showing an environmental scene the go for a walk and just watch, observe and in your head describe in vivid detail what is going on. What is the wind doing? What are the trees doing? Use detail, it isn't enough that its windy for example, but instead something along the lines of, "A man at the bus stopped was holding his hat down in the futile attempt to keep the wind from snatching it from him," or "as I walked the trails behind my apartment, the leaves rustled gently in the early spring wind, cooling the sweat on my face slightly."

Those are generally the easy ones though. I find the biggest issues, and it seems the ones that you're having as well, come from the characters interactions in general, that is, how they feel, perceive and interact with the world around them. The easiest practice methods have already kind of been explored already in the thread so instead I'm going to recommend some reading for you, fiction and non fiction.

For non fiction, I'm going to offer up the trinity of Stephen King's "On Writing," Murakami's "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running," and finally "The Elements of Style." The former two will allow you to look at the writing and creative processes of two very different but interesting writers and the latter is going to teach you the basics of writing style, which will help you catch a lot of the flaws in your writing, including your tell rather than show issue.

As for fiction I'm going to throw Anne Rice's "Interview With a Vampire," Mark Z. Danielewski's "House of Leaves," and Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis."

All three of these books achieve the "Show Don't Tell" mantra exceptionally. Kafka explores change in someone and how not only the person reacts to these changes, but also those around him/her. Danielewski does this as well but in "House of Leaves," I would recommend you read the Navidson chapters in particular as they also explore environmental change and action, both of which would be beneficial for you to look at. Finally Anne Rice's "Interview" is exception in exploring emotional turmoil and eroticism.

Edit: Also I suppose I should answer the questions presented as well.

1. No I don't find I use those words a lot. At some points those words in particular are required, however generally you can replace them with something that flows a little better, an example being my use of 'however' instead of 'but.'

2. I can write in either First or Third person format, however I will admit that the latter is far easier for me to write with,

3. I used to have quite a time trying to locate all the areas I told and didn't show, but ever since I started working on a small graphic short story with a friend, I've had to describe many of the panel layouts and their relation to the plot, so showing rather than telling, that is, massive amounts of detail into their actions and locations became an absolute necessary.

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Posted 6/14/15


Thank you for the non-fiction to read.
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