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Post Reply The Gender Thing.
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Posted 6/3/15 , edited 6/3/15
I think people get the wrong idea about this "Gender Identity" and I don't claim to be a pro at this section of Sociology or whatever but it comes down to that people don't realize they could make a better choice in Identity.

In my mind, people can be born male or female and one or the other could be male but could have some level of feminine nature but they're still a boy, or a female with male traits, but that's still a woman, and people might not understand its not a bad thing to be a boy with natural feminine features or vice versa with a woman and male traits, but what im saying is what was there to begin with, not that people should embrace the extreme of the gender they weren't born with, that's where it begins to create problems when people refuse to accept themselves, and where people start saying that they desire to accept themselves and others too when they themselves know that they embrace the extreme of one side or another and not just what they were naturally born as, is freaking nonsense because your making a elementary mistake- trying to be someone your not, *puts on shades* it isn't cool to try to be what your not.

Boys and girls will always have a defining difference regardless how hard to try, but it wont mean you can't have a level of natural born feminine or masculine features or even nature.
Posted 6/3/15
This thread has triggered me
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Posted 6/3/15
Never mention gender anywhere, unless you want a earful, and a unexpected debate.
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Posted 6/3/15

GayAsianBoy wrote:

some people don't feel like they are either gender. and i respect that decision.

just like not everyone is attracted to other humans. some ppl are attracted to objects. you have to put yourself in their shoes, jsut because you are born normal doesn't mean everyone is born normal.


That brings into question what it is to be "normal". I'd contest that whether we admit it or not, all of us have something, some tendency or behavior, thoughts or actions, that goes against what others consider normal. Some like the same gender, some like opposite genders, some like animals, whatever it may be.

So is anyone really normal? Or is normal just a label we slap on each other to keep the fabric of society from unfolding? I think we like to think we're normal, or at least no less normal than the person sitting next to us.
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Posted 6/3/15

streamhopperSo is anyone really normal? Or is normal just a label we slap on each other to keep the fabric of society from unfolding? I think we like to think we're normal, or at least no less normal than the person sitting next to us.


Anytime anyone tries to genericize the argument into non-existence by going insecure-hipster and saying "What IS 'normal', anyway?", I end up giving the simple answer:
"Normal is what you are when you're not onstage."

Like, metaphorically, when you're backstage in the dressing room, without costume and taking your half-smeared show makeup off. Do you like what you see underneath in the mirrror, and can at least tell the healthy difference between the performer and the character? Or do you constantly need someone else in the room to throw yourself at?
If yes to the first one, you're on the way to a healthy grasp of "normal".
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Posted 6/3/15
A lot of these Tumblr people feel they're neither male nor female and so create all these different Gender Identities, then get angry when they're asked if they're male or female. It's really quite annoying to be honest. They also seem to define Gender and Sex as two completely different things but at the same time make out Gender and Sex don't really define what they are. Some people use the two words interchangeably and believe they simply mean the same thing. Others use Sex to refer to what's between your legs while Gender refers to what Gender you identify as.

While I don't believe there should be strict gender rules, I also don't feel the need to have all these different gender identities to match up with all the different sexualities (Pansexual, Asexual, etc.). For gender, there should only be Male, Female, Neither and Other. Other being whatever you wish to identify as. Tumblr is pretty much responsible for people confusing their "Gender" with their Gender Identity, Gender/Sex is what Gender you are Biologically. Gender Identity is all that Gender Fluid, Bigender, Transgender, etc.

I feel like these two things aren't very well established which is why so many of these people go into a rage when someone asks if they're male or female.

As for what normal is, well I like to think that no-one is actually normal. Normal is a label we slap on ourselves and those around us in an effort to help us define what is abnormal. Everyone is unique in their own way. There is really no such thing as normal. There are things some people go to great lengths to hide while others fully embrace it and openly display that they're not part of the crowd. The stereotypical otaku is a great example of the people who fully embrace their uniqueness and openly display that they're not like everyone else. While Kirino, from the anime Oreimo, is a great example of those who go to great lengths to hide and blend in with everyone else so as not to stand out.

Anyway, as confusing as that probably is, that's my thoughts on the subject.
Korzz 
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Posted 6/3/15


hahahahhah <33
Posted 6/3/15
Gender =\= Sex
Gender is what you identify as personally. Sex is determined by your chromosomes & what you have between your legs.
Because of social constructs, people feel like whatever gender is stereotypically/commonly associated with, we should identify as. Just to feel more like themselves I guess.
We are all manipulated by these social constructs & basically what society tells us about gender normalities so people might feel the need to identify with a different gender.
If there were no such thing as 'girly' and 'manly' or 'masculine' and 'feminine', people wouldn't feel like they have to change their gender to feel more like themselves.
Basically what I'm saying its y'alls fault cuz you believe in gender normalities & the social constructs of genders.
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Posted 6/3/15 , edited 6/3/15

RenegadeVictim wrote:As for what normal is, well I like to think that no-one is actually normal. Normal is a label we slap on ourselves and those around us in an effort to help us define what is abnormal. Everyone is unique in their own way. There is really no such thing as normal. There are things some people go to great lengths to hide while others fully embrace it and openly display that they're not part of the crowd.


In Dr. Seuss's motivational "Oh, the Places You'll Go", he asks young graduates emerging into the world to picture this MC Escher-like scene of a huge complex pattern of creatures walking on each other's heads, and one, way at the bottom, is about to make a wrong step...

To some, this image suggests EVIL ORWELLIAN CONFORMITY AND GROUP-THINK!!, to others who've had a little experience in the world (and more to the point that the Doc was trying to imply), it suggests that it's a Big, Big World Out There, and it's not all about YOU.
You want to be the one who "shakes things up", but you could be the one who screws things up for everybody, when you don't stop to think about where everyone else in the entire world is in the big, big pattern. Children don't, they tend to be the center of their own world, but you, young graduate, are about to find your place in it.
That's "normal": It's the average mean of a few billion people that you can rise above or fall below, and the respect and perspective for other people besides yourself to know what part you play with them in the big picture. You want to be "remembered", then go ahead, screw things up for everybody, and send the whole thing toppling in a pile....We guarantee they'll remember you.

(And how does this observation work into the whole "gender" discussion? Well, er, why don'tcha work on that one for a while?... )
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Posted 6/3/15
There is no big deal. The only people who do make a big deal out of it are those fishing for attention.
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Posted 6/3/15 , edited 6/3/15
The distinction between culturally established gender rules/roles, core gender identity, and sex are important distinctions to make, and it isn't wrong to insist that their differences be acknowledged. Where people go wrong is when they forget that the distinction between these concepts is generally quite foreign to most people, and that's because generally they're not distinctions people have ever had much cause to think about. In order to get understanding, compassion, patience, and accommodation there is a need to first seek to understand others.

When one's core gender identity is matched with one's sex (as is generally the case) it seems perfectly natural that the two ought to be considered synonymous, and unless one has encountered information about the intersexed or transgender people it has probably never even occurred to them that it is possible for these things to not be in alignment. Even if one has encountered the intersexed one would be aware that the conditions which bring about such development aren't typical, and so would be considered exceptional. Finally, considering humans are a visually oriented species which determines sex by looking for certain characteristics (particularly secondary sex characteristics), and further considering there isn't really much in the way of external characteristics indicating someone is a transgender person, and again considering it hasn't occurred to most that sex and gender identity even are distinct, it shouldn't be surprising that some react by saying that transgender people are "making things up". Of course people are going to have difficulty understanding the diversity of transgender people: they've never had to think about it.

Because of this patience and understanding is needed not only on the part of those who are to be taught about transgender people. It's also needed from the people doing the teaching. I'll admit I haven't always succeeded in that effort, but those who routinely fly into a rage and blog about how cisgendered people are callous at best and cruel at worst are really hurting themselves. Don't get me wrong, there's room for anger. There's room for outrage. Transgender people fall victim to violence, legal discrimination, economic discrimination, social exclusion, suicide, and so on at alarming rates. It's not wrong for victims of abuse, institutional or otherwise, to cry foul. Just remember that it's not all cispeople, and in fact I believe that most are really understanding enough to embrace transpeople if only they are spoken to respectfully as much as respectful speech is requested by transpeople.
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Posted 6/3/15
People make their own choices, if that makes them happy, then i'm happy about it too.
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Posted 6/3/15

BlueOni wrote:
Because of this patience and understanding is needed not only on the part of those who are to be taught about transgender people. It's also needed from the people doing the teaching. I'll admit I haven't always succeeded in that effort, but those who routinely fly into a rage and blog about how cisgendered people are callous at best and cruel at worst are really hurting themselves. .


..."Cisgendered"?
So, there's now a special, unique, identifying term for people who never particularly did anything to themselves at all in their entire lives, because the Evil N-Word is too politically incorrect?
Oh, well, guess that's just us funny "Heterosexuals".
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Posted 6/3/15 , edited 6/3/15

BlueOni wrote:When one's core gender identity is matched with one's sex (as is generally the case) it seems perfectly natural that the two ought to be considered synonymous, and unless one has encountered information about the intersexed or transgender people it has probably never even occurred to them that it is possible for these things to not be in alignment. Even if one has encountered the intersexed one would be aware that the conditions which bring about such development aren't typical, and so would be considered exceptional. Finally, considering humans are a visually oriented species which determines sex by looking for certain characteristics (particularly secondary sex characteristics), and further considering there isn't really much in the way of external characteristics indicating someone is a transgender person, and again considering it hasn't occurred to most that sex and gender identity even are distinct, it shouldn't be surprising that some react by saying that transgender people are "making things up".


Apart from the hands, shoulders, eyes, mouth, skin, torso, height, pheromones, and other things a few million years of DNA made it too hard for a chin, boob, junk or collagen plastic surgery job to fix. (And those who think it does, let's bring up the word "Shallow".)
Any more than you can put a dog collar on and fool your dog--He's not necessarily using his eyes to determine what you are.

As the old saying goes "If you 'can't help being gay', we 'can't help being straight'", and we're not necessarily using our eyes either.
We're using our experience we've had with the real--oh, I'm sorry, we call them "biological", now?--females, and not objectively basing it on over idealized or backhandedly misogynistic images from movie, TV and pop-culture.
You're trying to pretend to be something we already have plenty of, and the abundance of the real thing is going to hurt the comparisons somewhat.
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Posted 6/3/15

Ejanss wrote:

..."Cisgendered"?
So, there's now a special, unique, identifying term for people who never particularly did anything to themselves at all in their entire lives, because the Evil N-Word is too politically incorrect?
Oh, well, guess that's just us funny "Heterosexuals".


No, the term refers to a condition in which one's core gender identity and one's sex are in alignment. If the word doesn't satisfy you it can be changed, but denying that the distinction is necessary in light of the fact that there are people which are accurately described as such and people who are not accurately described as such is akin to willfully donning mental blinders. Why do it?
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