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Post Reply Dating someone who hurt you
55107 cr points
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F / West
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Posted 5/30/15
NO!, unless you like suffering. Besides, I can't bear to see others suffering, even if they can.
Posted 5/30/15 , edited 5/30/15
We all get hurt sometime down the road in a relationship, just depends on which one you are going to act upon. We are still young, just remember that it may be a bitch to get through it but maybe five years down the road you're gonna be happy you moved on or stayed and worked things out. You can get all the advice you want from others, but it's going to come down to how you really feel about this situation and if you're going to suck up your pride and ride through. Best of luck.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 5/31/15 , edited 5/31/15
As someone who was actively in a yo-yo relationship for way too many years I'd advise against it. If you decide to go all in to the relationship I just suggest you go in with 75% head/25% heart. It'll make things easier for you later in life.
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24 / M / the bay
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Posted 5/31/15
lifes too short for that i think...plus people deserve better ?
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21 / M / A piece of land i...
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Posted 5/31/15
I think you might be entranced by her vagina man, because the simple answer is no unless you're a masochist.
Or maybe you spent so much time with her that you think it would be a waste to break up with her but Im just speculating now. You really should give more info in if you want better advice.
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 5/31/15

Jwade316 wrote:

Do you think it's alright to date someone or try to date someone that hurt you mentally?


Not even for a second.
You have been in an abusive relationship.
That is not healthy or logical.
You have been taught somewhere to be a door-mat or a tool.
One-sided relationships are only useful for the flake that is in control and when your usefulness is over you WILL be discarded like a turd in a toilet.

Get out as soon as you can.
There will be no quid-pro-quo, there will always be an excuse why you need to sacrifice and the other person doesn't.
They don't have to beat you physically to abuse you.
Most of my relatives are like this, they never like the "tool" that rebels or tells them the truth....

If it was a healthy relationship the future would be a mutual concern.






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37 / M
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Posted 5/31/15
Yes... for revenge. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So if they come back to you after hurting you... they want you to hurt them back. That's my theory anyway.
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27 / M
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Posted 5/31/15 , edited 8/7/15
There's no simple answer. I believe it really depends. Obviously, you don't want to be with someone who has no regard for your happiness and well-being, but it seems to be problematic nowadays that people are willing to jump ship simply because they "got hurt." It's almost like the "I deserve only the best" mentality. Relationships require work from both people, and it is often the case that genuine affection and efforts may outweigh a temporary harm or temporary dissatisfaction. I'm not a believer that anybody "deserves" anything. You must earn something to actually deserve it, IMO, not just claim entitlement. In fact, I think most people who simply claim to be entitled are often among the least worthy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should always put up with suffering caused by your partner. Don't let yourself get pushed around too much but at the same time, evaluate the situation carefully to see if it's potentially worthwhile to endure a bit. There's really no bright-line rule and you have to weigh several factors important to you and to the relationship and to your partner, then decide if it's worth it.

Your description seems very brief and isn't detailed, but it seems like she might not be very interested anymore. Can't say for sure but it sounds sort of like it.
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Posted 5/31/15
Just by reading the post it seems, she doesn't want to date you? So she told you she is working on her future first? But you've clearly seen her with other men? My advice she doesn't see you that way bro, just give up stop talking to her and move on. Don't think to yourself "Oh, if I just hang out around her long enough she'll fall in love with me." That will never happen.
Posted 5/31/15
Been there, done that. Don't do it unless you wish to become a paranoid mess in the future.
Posted 5/31/15

coolest7000 wrote:

I think you might be entranced by her vagina man,



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20 / M / Pennsylvania
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Posted 5/31/15
Absolutely not! In the long run, they will severely hurt your spirit and perception of the world, and that's never pretty at all.
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37 / M / USA
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Posted 5/31/15
No! Get out and forget about her. Y'all are in different places right now, different goals it sounds like. Take some time, distance yourself from her, forget about her, and move on.
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28 / F / Philippines
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Posted 5/31/15


That's just stupid, i think ! You've been hurt once, do you want to get hurt again ? LOL
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