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Post Reply Dating etiquette Question?
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28 / M / Seattle
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Posted 6/3/15
This is for the ladies. Is it still common, and generally advised, for the man to pay for everything in the beginning of a relationship? Especially the first date?
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22 / F / NY
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Posted 6/3/15
depends on girl, i always offer to pay my part unless they insist
Posted 6/3/15
Yes, it is. Especially if you are the one offerring to go out.
With my guy friends we pay for our food altogether. My boyfriend pays for everything when we go out to eat.
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Posted 6/4/15
Hmm...I think you'll get a lot of mixed responses on this as it really does depend on the girl in question. I will say this, though: in today's age, when chivalry is all but dead, it can be a very pleasant surprise when a man does something old school gentleman (paying for dinner, pulling out a chair, and picking someone up at the door are a few nice ones ). You can't go wrong with making a move to pay in full, though, and then let the girl make the next move- if she cares so strongly about paying, she'll say so.
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37 / M / USA
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Posted 6/4/15
Usually it's the guy asking the girl out for the first date, so yes he better pay for it. Nothing wrong with her offering to split the check but he should decline and pay the whole thing. If she's the one who asked him out then it may be different but he should still offer and see what she says and go from there.
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25 / M / Sweden
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Posted 6/4/15
Its a individual thing. But if you ask her for the first date, you really should pay.
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21 / F / Earth
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Posted 6/4/15
I've never been on a date, so I'm not 100% sure how I feel about this. Though, I think it would be logical that whomever was the asker should pay, but it's not illogical if it's split, simply because it sort of takes a certain kind of trust to split a check as well.

Basic communication skills mandate, however, that the couple on a date should just talk about who covers what prior to the date.
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F / Boston-ish
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15

mordant221 wrote:

This is for the ladies. Is it still common, and generally advised, for the man to pay for everything in the beginning of a relationship? Especially the first date?


It depends, but generally I feel the person doing the asking should plan to pay--especially on a first date. I'd feel uncomfortable in a relationship where only one person did the asking always, so eventually it works out fairly. Once you get to know each other better (or if you already know each other well), then you can actually talk about "who pays" and do whatever is comfortable for the both of you.

Do note that if your date insists on paying part, don't push too much against it. If she says "may I pay (or pay part)" it's nicer if you say "no, I've got it" (at least the first time). But if she then says "no really, I'd rather" don't fight too hard. I mean you can "say are you sure" but in the end fighting over the bill is just tacky, so be prepared to accept if offered.
Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15
It's called the check tango.

"I'll pay"

"No I insist"

"Oh please, I should"

"Okay if you insist"
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Posted 6/4/15
I thought you just leave the money on the dresser.
Posted 6/4/15

pirththee wrote:

I thought you just leave the money on the dresser.


Pirththee is a savage
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Posted 6/4/15
Call me old fashioned but on the first date yes the man should pay for it (even if she asked you out!). Even if you don't hit it off, and you'll probably never see them again be a gentleman and pay for it. It's the least you can then do for the lovely lady taking her time to spend with you.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 6/4/15
No never pay for everything at least split the cost.
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16 / M
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Posted 6/4/15
As a male, I would insist, at-least the first time, your the one that should be taking HER out to eat, how are YOU taking her out, if she is paying? Then she is taking you out.
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21 / F / Chiberia
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/5/15
- Well if it's the first date, yes, I do believe that the guy needs to pay for her. The date doesn't have to be expensive for the date to be 'worth it'. .Since chivalry is quite 'dead' in my generation, I try to be more creative and thoughtful when in terms to going on a date with my boyfriend. I remember, on our first date, I surprised him with a book that he wanted to get because I've learned that he's trying to be more of an avid reader. It's a little gift that I didn't mind getting because I knew he would pay for me BUT, I want to treat him the same way he treats me so equity sure does come to play afterwards. Nowadays, we would take turns paying for the bill then AND/OR split it.
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