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Post Reply Why don't women ever just say no?
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15

IshokuOsero wrote:


knibitz wrote:

<experience>
because when we say "No" we get "why?" "why?" "why?" "why?"
or we give real reasons like "I don't find you attractive" or "I'm interested in someone else" and we're instantly seen as rude and cruel.

</experience>

Generally, as women, we are expected to be courteous and polite, so we sugar coat because a lot of people can't take criticism and would see anything less than a "yes" as rude.


And, at least for me - No does mean no. not "no till you convince me otherwise" But I'm honest to a fault anyway.



Yep, it's completely this. Every time I've ever said no it's always followed by someone badgering me about it nonstop. If I've given an actual reason then it's always that I'm heartless and this is why I'll never find love, or something to that extent. Yep, cruel bitch right here.



It's ok. We can throw ourselves at our careers and strive to make more money, and have a more relevant career than any guy I have ever dated *achievement unlocked*

Cats are better than the guys I've dated anyway ;D
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Posted 6/4/15
Wow, talk about opening up a whole new s--t storm of whoop ass.
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Posted 6/4/15

knibitz wrote:


IshokuOsero wrote:


knibitz wrote:

<experience>
because when we say "No" we get "why?" "why?" "why?" "why?"
or we give real reasons like "I don't find you attractive" or "I'm interested in someone else" and we're instantly seen as rude and cruel.

</experience>

Generally, as women, we are expected to be courteous and polite, so we sugar coat because a lot of people can't take criticism and would see anything less than a "yes" as rude.


And, at least for me - No does mean no. not "no till you convince me otherwise" But I'm honest to a fault anyway.



Yep, it's completely this. Every time I've ever said no it's always followed by someone badgering me about it nonstop. If I've given an actual reason then it's always that I'm heartless and this is why I'll never find love, or something to that extent. Yep, cruel bitch right here.



It's ok. We can throw ourselves at our careers and strive to make more money, and have a more relevant career than any guy I have ever dated *achievement unlocked*

Cats are better than the guys I've dated anyway ;D


Besides the last guy I dated, the crappy job I have right now is a better job than any of the others had ever had. Last I knew from a mutual friend, one of the guys I was with that got fired from one of his jobs and didn't have a car STILL doesn't have a car or a job. And he's 31 now. I think I'm doing all right. =P
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/8/15
1. There are women who just say no.

2. There are PLENTY of men who don't just say 'no' and try to come up with some fancy response. This has happened to me.

I agree that it would be best if everyone was more straightforward with rejection, but I have serious issues with your sexist tone. Check yourself hon.
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15
lol that's my life too IshokuOsero.

And our men of the forum - please don't think that I think you're all lazy heartless jerks - you're not.
It's just the string of guys who have been part of my life so far...


I'm actually finally at a point in my life where my life is exactly where I want it to bed and I'm open to dating again. But I'm not afraid to say no - depending on the guy ...yeah I may sugar coat it, to be honest.
I've dated friends, I've tried to date ex-coworkers, I've dated guys I've met online (dating sites ,games, etc) and majority of them freaked out (to the point of abusive in some cases) when I was brutally honest. For my safety and sanity it's been my safest option in certain situations.

depending on vibes I get from guys is how I will treat them in return.
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Posted 6/4/15

haikinka wrote:

Because no doesn't mean no when a woman says it right?


haha

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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15

IShouldBeStudying wrote:

How come every time a guy tries to get at a girl and she doesn't want to be with him they have to make up some fake answer or use some code word that only other women understand? We're not hip to your lingo. A blatant no would easily suffice rather than using all these riddles and movie quotes. It would also prevent them from trying again in the future, saving you a whole lot of time and stress.


I guess that many women (but not all) don't said no directly because they don't want to seem rude given that, whether you want to admit it or not, many men simply get really upset when woman reject them and some of may even behave in a violent way they had been told "no". Moreover, some men don't listen when a woman say no and try to convice her to say yes because they wrongly believe that women mean yes when they say no. In brief, despite what they say, many men don't want to heard a "no" as answer.
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Posted 6/4/15

knibitz wrote:

<experience>
because when we say "No" we get "why?" "why?" "why?" "why?"
or we give real reasons like "I don't find you attractive" or "I'm interested in someone else" and we're instantly seen as rude and cruel.

</experience>

Generally, as women, we are expected to be courteous and polite, so we sugar coat because a lot of people can't take criticism and would see anything less than a "yes" as rude.


And, at least for me - No does mean no. not "no till you convince me otherwise" But I'm honest to a fault anyway.


When I get a no I ask why as well, but it's so I can see what it is that needs to be improved so I don't get another no from someone else. The reasons may be harsh, but sometimes brutal honesty is the most effective
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Posted 6/4/15
Lyrics to some indie song.
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Posted 6/4/15

eeveetree wrote:

1. There are women who just say no.

2. There are PLENTY of men who don't just say 'no' and try to come up with some fancy response. This has happened to me.

I agree that it would be best if everyone was more straightforward with rejection, but I have serious issues with your sexist tone. Check yourself hon.


I can't speak on men talking in riddles, considering I've never had a girl approach me with the intention of being in a relationship with me lol. Also, I fail to see where/how i was being sexist
Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15
Because as much as you or any other guy would say this, that's not really what you want to hear... nor can most guys accept a simple 'no' for an answer.

I said no to someone not too long ago. First he asked me to stop playing hard to get. Then, when I reinforced the 'no,' he became all dramatic and asked why he's not good enough for me... Ughh...
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Posted 6/4/15

IShouldBeStudying wrote:



When I get a no I ask why as well, but it's so I can see what it is that needs to be improved so I don't get another no from someone else. The reasons may be harsh, but sometimes brutal honesty is the most effective


The explanation that a particular woman could give you may not be applicable to another woman because not all women want the same. Moreover, a woman may reject you not because is something wrong with you but because you don't have what she is lloking for in a guy. What I'm trying to say here is that this strategy is not as effective as you think it is.
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Posted 6/4/15
They're playing hard to get
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Posted 6/4/15

TheOmegaForce70941 wrote:

They're playing hard to get


You forgot your sarcasm tags.
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27 / F / Northern US
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Posted 6/4/15 , edited 6/4/15

IShouldBeStudying wrote:


knibitz wrote:

<experience>
because when we say "No" we get "why?" "why?" "why?" "why?"
or we give real reasons like "I don't find you attractive" or "I'm interested in someone else" and we're instantly seen as rude and cruel.

</experience>

Generally, as women, we are expected to be courteous and polite, so we sugar coat because a lot of people can't take criticism and would see anything less than a "yes" as rude.


And, at least for me - No does mean no. not "no till you convince me otherwise" But I'm honest to a fault anyway.


When I get a no I ask why as well, but it's so I can see what it is that needs to be improved so I don't get another no from someone else. The reasons may be harsh, but sometimes brutal honesty is the most effective


All girls are different though.
A reason I may give as to why I won't date someone doesn't mean it will be a problem for the next girl.

I personally won't date anyone who isn't tech savvy. As a tech savvy girl myself people who can't keep up with me on the computer drive me up the wall, or people who are internet/computer paranoid.
Web development is my career - so I live and breathe the internet.

That's not a universal trait with women I promise you that.
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