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Post Reply Why do some parents abuse their children?
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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 6/6/15
Because they're bad parents. Having a 'short temper' is just an excuse. You can change, but some people don't want to. Then there are those that think just because your under their roof, they can pose any type of rule and punishment / abuse as they see fit. They just live in their own worlds and try to keep you trapped in it. It's only when you escape they start shitting themselves. People like that shouldn't be raising anyone, and should just die off.
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19 / M / United States
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Posted 6/6/15

VZ68 wrote:


PurpleDjango wrote:
Usually child abuse is the result of the parent being incorrectly raised as a child. Lots of people back in the 60's believed that the only way to raise a child is through punishment, which in fact doesn't work.


I would point out that humans have been around beating kids and progressing since the dawn of man to this time. In fact, if you want to get down to it, Gen Y pretty much could be proven to show that NOT beating your kids is a bad way to raise them.



Yea, that's BS
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13 / F / California
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Posted 6/6/15 , edited 8/27/15
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27 / M
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Posted 6/6/15 , edited 6/6/15
Punishing kids by hitting them is okay to me. Not all hitting is equal. It must be done at the appropriate time and in the appropriate manner. Hitting a child doesn't necessarily mean the child is being abused. Just as certain punishments that don't involve striking the child are appropriate sometimes, hitting them is also appropriate sometimes. Pain can be a good teacher. There is no need to shy away from inflicting pain just because it is physically unpleasant. The difficult part for many people is knowing when to hit and when not to hit, and this messes kids up and is essentially improper parenting. Kids must be given the appropriate punishment, which may or may not involve hitting them, depending on what they deserve.

Children can be punished or abused physically as well as non-physically. The damage done is simply of a different variety. Invisible damage can be just as bad as visible damage. It seems to be that people simply don't like the visual stuff so they shove it aside. Punishing kids too much when they deserved a lighter punishment or no punishment at all and doing this consistently is abuse in my eyes.

I think people tend to raise their kids the way their parents raised them. It also seems that stressed parents are more likely to abuse their kids.
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21 / M / United States
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Posted 6/6/15
Sometimes people probably have no reason other than enjoyment. Other times people have no other way to communicate their disdain for a child's behavior than physical punishment. Also, take into consideration that some children are incapable of reason and logically coming to the conclusion that they have done something wrong, simply because they haven't developed enough. I used to think when I was a child that I was being "abused"; but as I grew and thought about my behavior, I realized that I unnecessarily made it more difficult for my grandparent to raise me. Now, I'm the nicest guy ever to her.
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19 / M / United States
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Posted 6/6/15

VZ68 wrote:


PurpleDjango wrote:


VZ68 wrote:


PurpleDjango wrote:
Usually child abuse is the result of the parent being incorrectly raised as a child. Lots of people back in the 60's believed that the only way to raise a child is through punishment, which in fact doesn't work.


I would point out that humans have been around beating kids and progressing since the dawn of man to this time. In fact, if you want to get down to it, Gen Y pretty much could be proven to show that NOT beating your kids is a bad way to raise them.



Yea, that's BS


Negative Ghostrider.

Just because it doesn't make you feel good doesn't mean it's wrong.


Hitting your kid doesn't fix them, it breaks them
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17 / F / イブキド
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Posted 6/6/15

VZ68 wrote:


PurpleDjango wrote:
Usually child abuse is the result of the parent being incorrectly raised as a child. Lots of people back in the 60's believed that the only way to raise a child is through punishment, which in fact doesn't work.


I would point out that humans have been around beating kids and progressing since the dawn of man to this time. In fact, if you want to get down to it, Gen Y pretty much could be proven to show that NOT beating your kids is a bad way to raise them.



I agree with this, but only to a certain extent. Hitting them and then suddenly expecting improvement or "harder work" can have a very bad effect on a child.
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13 / F / California
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Posted 6/6/15 , edited 8/27/15
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 6/6/15
This is such a touchy subject.
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27 / M / TX
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Posted 6/6/15

VZ68 wrote:


PurpleDjango wrote:
Usually child abuse is the result of the parent being incorrectly raised as a child. Lots of people back in the 60's believed that the only way to raise a child is through punishment, which in fact doesn't work.


I would point out that humans have been around beating kids and progressing since the dawn of man to this time. In fact, if you want to get down to it, Gen Y pretty much could be proven to show that NOT beating your kids is a bad way to raise them.



You do need to make a strong foundation. I would hate to build a house with no foundation eventually it going to collapse and who has to clean up the mess To those who are criticizing you I would like to add no one is saying just hit them for no reason explain why they are getting punished. Just hitting a kid for no reason is bad but hitting them because they are doing something dangerous needs to be dealt with quickly before a accident happens. I say when they are young hitting fine but once they hit the teens then that is when hopefully they have enough sense to realize right from wrong to where explaining things through is good enough.
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23 / M / Somewhere in rura...
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Posted 6/6/15
In the case of my mother, it wasn't really her intent to be abusive. She is an incompetent however. She started her adult life by marrying a stoner/ dealer in the 70s. She eventually divorced him some 14 years later, met my father at an AA meeting (yeah), and presumably not realizing how bad it actually is to look for spouses at AA meetings, ended up marrying him and spawning my sister and me. Predictably, that marriage fell apart, and she married again, this time to a meth cook (she met him while my father and he were in rehab). That man eventually resulted in a SWAT team having to arrest him which put us in the great foster care system of Tennessee. Thanks to my aunt's connections to the judge, while my stepfather got off pretty light for weapons theft and escaping custody, my mom got a year for aiding and abetting him. Well, my aunt's connections didn't stop there. She arranged us to be put in her care so she could use us as slaves and for the government benefits offered to foster families.
For reasoning purposes, every one of the previously listed people involved in my and my sister's care had at least one psychotic disorder (in addition to drug addictions and alcoholism). My mother had borderline personality disorder, my father's brain has since likely been rotted by syphilis (after the divorce he decided to screw half of Nashville) and he suffers from afluenza (nice way of saying that his parents were so rich and powerful that when he did anything wrong, it was ignored and he was bailed out), and he likely has bipolar disorder. My stepfather had bipolar disorder and also used drugs frequently. His DoC was meth, but also pot and booze. My aunt was likely some form of narcissistic personality disorder, and she also came from a family that refused to let the idea of enslaving other people go.
So, yeah, abuse comes from incompetence (I could go on about the children's services and counselor's incompetence, including the counselor telling the accused abuser that we had said we were being abused), mental illness, and addiction in my case.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 6/6/15
Some are sick, some are evil, some are bullies (full of themselves) and some were beaten themselves. There's no excuse for you to beat on a child though. Prison, rehab, a mental health facility or therapy are the only choices I see fit.
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Posted 6/6/15
Most parents who find this acceptable become shocked when their children start beating their own siblings. I mean, where the hell do you think they learned that from?
Posted 7/22/15
My mom and dad did it for shits and giggles.
Or when my dad didn't want to deal with me.
Or when my dad was out of pot...
Or when my siblings made my dad mad.
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 7/22/15
Hmm, this is a very complicated question. It's difficult to really say why some parents abuse their children. Some aren't even aware they're abusing. Some suffer from psychological issues that were never resolved. Others have short tempers. There are also those who simply don't know any better because that was the way they were raised. There's really no singular answer since everyone is different.
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