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Post Reply What did you learn about social skills in high school?
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Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/7/15
When I was a kid, there were certain things I didn't understand. People don't care about your accomplishments, they care about your personality. Don't cut people off, don't try to control the conversation, learn about other peoples intrests, don't talk about the same thing every day, don't make random noises, don't act in fake personas.... Also forgive others, and mind your own business
just a few things.
The random noises were hard to control considering how whenever I felt strong emotions, I reacted in eccentric ways. Excitement was the worst one. I hate my smile. Kids would mess with me for having an ugly smile, and smiling all the time. So I eventually conditioned myself to not smile. Later on, I involuntarily halted my smiles. I'd smile, and then force myself to stop in like 2 seconds. I couldn't control it. My face would automatically correct itself if I smiled.
But I'm still insecure about smiling. I sometimes feel like I should do it more, so I don't look robotic, but I'm also afraid of doing it too much and looking weird.
Most importantly is having a consistent personality. For some reason I thought I needed to be serious all the time, or silly all the time. I'd act in personas I'd create. Every month, it'd be like I had a different personality. I kept adjusting my persona to fit what I think would be cool, funny, or enjoyable.

In a way, I'm angry at my mom for not forcing me to be normal, instead I did not change any of these behaviors until halfway through high school
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23 / M / A town called "Ci...
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Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/9/15
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25 / M / Sweden
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Posted 6/7/15
Not much. I was addicted to my computer and avoided social stuff. So i was terrible at it I can say now that i still suffer from that today, desepite i done a complete change in life. But i learned alot from it.
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26 / M / Chicago,IL
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Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/7/15
Just be yourself right? Regardless of how other people treat you. You are an example of trying to be socially accepted by everyone. I only want to be socially accepted by the people who accept me for who i am.

Why does it matter if i make random noises? It's what i do,if that was the case.
So what if i do something that makes me look weird? Is weird really a real word? You are just different.
I can also talk about the same thing if i please,don't talk back if you don't want to hear it.
I agree on the fake persona. You should be yourself. If you happen to be silly or serious all the time so be it.
Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/9/15
1 I learn girls are mean bitches to each other.

2 Learn how to ignored people opinions.

3 learn how to make bullies shut the fuck up.

4 Learn that shy girls can be crazy than the eccentric obvious ones.

5 Learn that some people are born stupid and without you they be dead.

6 Learn self control. The amount of people I wanted to punch was unreal.

7 Learn how do difference between asshole and bigger asshole.

8 learn to fight multiple people a once and win.

9 Learn how to not show fear and emotions. And develop a higher threshold of resisting pain.

10 Many teachers are useless when dealing with bullies.

Posted 6/7/15
Much sleep
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Posted 6/7/15

MrChamploo wrote:

Just be yourself right? Regardless of how other people treat you. You are an example of trying to be socially accepted by everyone. I only want to be socially accepted by the people who accept me as who i am.

Why does it matter if i make random noises? It's what i do,if that was the case.
So what if i do something that makes me look weird? Is weird really a real word? You are just different.
I can also talk about the same thing if i please,don't talk back if you don't want to hear it.
I agree on the fake persona. You should be yourself.


Having someone running around, rolling on the ground, yelling, making noises, and other random shit would get really annoying to the other kids. I'm not saying bullying is right, but such behaviors will understandably bring it upon yourself.
And having bad conversation skills and being unwilling to learn about what other kids like isn't "being yourself", it's stunting your own social skills for some fake idea of "individuality"
Posted 6/7/15

MrChamploo wrote:




Why does it matter if i make random noises? It's what i do,if that was the case.



I mean...that's a little weird though.
Posted 6/7/15
Saying 'like' and 'oh my gawd' all the time is perfectly acceptable.
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26 / M / Chicago,IL
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Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/7/15

silversongwriter wrote:


MrChamploo wrote:

Just be yourself right? Regardless of how other people treat you. You are an example of trying to be socially accepted by everyone. I only want to be socially accepted by the people who accept me as who i am.

Why does it matter if i make random noises? It's what i do,if that was the case.
So what if i do something that makes me look weird? Is weird really a real word? You are just different.
I can also talk about the same thing if i please,don't talk back if you don't want to hear it.
I agree on the fake persona. You should be yourself.


Having someone running around, rolling on the ground, yelling, making noises, and other random shit would get really annoying to the other kids. I'm not saying bullying is right, but such behaviors will understandably bring it upon yourself.
And having bad conversation skills and being unwilling to learn about what other kids like isn't "being yourself", it's stunting your own social skills for some fake idea of "individuality"


Fake idea? Individuality is being who you are. Your right,would it be annoying to other kids? Sure. But at least you are being true to yourself instead of changing yourself to society standards like you did.

Conversation skills have little to do with this subject. I can have great conversation skills and make noises.(I don't btw. ;P) You are just wanting to be accepted by everyone. That is fine,but that is all this is. And you are willing to change yourself to be a normal kid. People like you are not the one's who go out and change the world. Your the one who sits somewhere 9-5 and goes out with your "Normal" friends on the weekend. You don't want to be different right?

There's no right or wrong here. But i dislike how you sit here and want to be a "normal" kid.
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Posted 6/7/15
I couldn't be bothered in HighSchool to sober up and worry about my social skills.Way too mundane of a topic to even contemplate in my self indulgent phallus led universe at that point of my life.
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26 / M / Chicago,IL
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Posted 6/7/15

AiYumega wrote:


MrChamploo wrote:




Why does it matter if i make random noises? It's what i do,if that was the case.



I mean...that's a little weird though.


Sure. Maybe it is a little different. But if that's the case that's the case ;P
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Posted 6/7/15

MrChamploo wrote:

Fake idea? Individuality is being who you are. Your right,would it be annoying to other kids? Sure. But at least you are being true to yourself instead of changing yourself to society standards like you did.

Conversation skills have little to do with this subject. I can have great conversation skills and make noises.(I don't btw. ;P) You are just wanting to be accepted by everyone. That is fine,but that is all this is. And you are willing to change yourself to be a normal kid. People like you are not the one's who go out and change the world. Your the one who sits somewhere 9-5 and goes out with your "Normal" friends on the weekend. You don't want to be different right?

There's no right or wrong here. But i dislike how you sit here and want to be a "normal" kid.


There's trying to be like that, and there's being considerate for the sake of decorum.

If you do stuff that you KNOW gets on peoples nerves, then don't be surprised if they dislike you. You shouldn't conform to others. But you also shouldn't go out and do whatever random thins you wanna do with no regard to how anyone else thinks.

In fact, changing has made me more of an individual. By learning some social skills, I've learned more about myself and discovered more and more of my own intrests. I wasn't "being myself", I was confused about myself, and didn't let in any outside influence and acted out because of it. You can not truly discover your individuality by yourself.
Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/7/15
I think it's different for each person. In my life, I find people caring about my accomplishments more so than anything else.
Social skills was always something I needed to work on. Literally since like, preschool. I was socially awkward. I was always seen as a weird kid. Because of my interests and "obsession" with people. Something like that. I've switched from being a social butterfly to a closed in/very asocial person since probably 4th grade. I also basically learned not to smile, or show little to no emotion, really. I hated how I look when I was happy. I look very apathetic 99% of the time tbh. lmao I'm pretty sure my MDD contributed to that a lot & made it last this long.
But I believe everyone wears a different persona no matter who they are with. It can change overtime as well, maybe even decrease the number of persona's you are using.
Idk. Everyone's different.
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Posted 6/7/15 , edited 6/9/15
1) Attempt to maintain a level of familiarity with everyone. You never know what you might need, even if it's from someone you hate.
2) Act like a model student in the beginning of the school year and just maintain your grades. Teachers can't say much if your grades are the top in the class, even if you occasionally get on their nerves.
3) Know when to decline an offer and how to do it. Drugs and parties are quite alluring for much of the year but i can't very well smoke bud in the morning or get drunk the night before during standardized testing season.
4) Play along with racism so long as it helps. Asians are often viewed as the "model minority" so if I fit in with that, people are more likely to dismiss any suspicions.
5) Stop being angry over every damn matter that offends you or person who has wronged you. It takes a lot more mental effort to be enraged as opposed to staying passive. Some will give up trying to insult you when you elicit no more reactions.
6) Be confident but not cocky or boastful. Being a braggart can repel those around you, especially if you do have many achievements.
7) Accept humility when necessary. You shouldn't let your pride be the source of injury, cause embarrassment, or earn resentment against you when you know you've overshot your abilities.
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