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Signs of abuse in a relationship
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Posted 6/15/15
All couples argue sooner or later - sometimes it does escalate to physical pushing/shoving. Ultimately, I think it depends on the couple to determine if it's abusive or not. I've seen some couples where it's just the "norm" for both to act like that. Doesn't mean it's right, though. If it feels abusive, it probably is.
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Posted 6/15/15
honestly, in the beginning you don't want to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. I was in 2...and I got out just in time before I got seriously injured both emotionally/mentally and physically.

the first one was physical abuse, and was worse that I was still in the army. it started off, and I didn't know, that he was really possessive of me. he literally told all of my guy friends to stay away from me (this happen behind my back). he wouldn't let me out of his sight, and me spending "time alone" was with us not talking in the same room together. it all dawned on me when I was having some issues back home, and I was trying to solve them by myself. I told him I needed space so I can think, but he kept following me EVERYWHERE. I tried to go to my floor, he blocked me from entering and got in my face. we started shouting at each other, him screaming at me to tell him whats wrong and that I need to be in his sight at all times, me screaming back that I need to think. I slapped him, and next thing I knew I was up against the wall with his hands around my throat. I started throwing blows but sadly I wasn't strong enough...luckily people came into that stairwell and he let go, but I ran into my room. I told my CO what happened...but I was a dumb ass and gave him another chance. I couldn't file anything against him because he didn't leave me marks but I left him bruises from where my blows landed. but the second time he got in my face when I said I wanted to spend some time to myself, I had other females around and they all dragged him off the floor. we broke up right after that, and I literally had to have someone with me at all times after that.


Robin929 wrote:

If you are in a early relationship where the other person has shoved you more than once, get out as fast as possible. Any form of violence whatsoever is wrong and the reciving end should get out of there fast. People who absue tends say a lot of negative things like they dont like you, only the change their minds later. They can also be very jealous and dont like it when their partner talks to other guys,

People who stay in abusive relationships tends to develop stockholm-syndrome like feelings where they feel, that they are too blame for it. They feel shame and guilt. Its very common to develop feelings that you are worthless and change lifestyle like avoiding friends or even your own familiy.


my second relationship was basically this as well. he kept telling me that no one else would love me like he would, and if I didn't sleep with him he would leave me alone. honestly, it takes guts to end an abusive relationship. both of them said that if I left them they would kill themselves. it took me 2 months to end that relationship. and when I started talking to my current boyfriend, he had friends waiting outside my house to make sure my ex-boyfriend wouldn't come over. luckily I didn't develop Stockholm-syndrome symptoms, and that's only because I had people looking out for me and reminded me to be the logical person I am. but we make mistakes and get into stupid relationships...so yeah...
Posted 6/15/15
yelling, blackmailing, passive aggressiveness are all forms of abuse to me.

i'm an honest straightforward person, i can't stand it when people are being dramatic or manipulative.
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Posted 6/15/15
Lack of respect.
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

laviriot13 wrote:

honestly, in the beginning you don't want to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. I was in 2...and I got out just in time before I got seriously injured both emotionally/mentally and physically.

both of them said that if I left them they would kill themselves. it took me 2 months to end that relationship. and when I started talking to my current boyfriend, he had friends waiting outside my house to make sure my ex-boyfriend wouldn't come over. luckily I didn't develop Stockholm-syndrome symptoms, and that's only because I had people looking out for me and reminded me to be the logical person I am. but we make mistakes and get into stupid relationships...so yeah...

Like seriously what guys are around there? sounds like some real

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Posted 6/15/15

Freddy96NO wrote:
Like seriously what guys are around there? sounds like some real



the first one was a guy who was from Louisiana, but we were both in Alabama. second one was from here where I live in southern California. the crazy guys like my ex-bfs are everywhere sadly. sucks that because I leave bruises when I punch I would get in trouble because it's evidence that I "abused" him (that part sucked a lot :/ ).
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

laviriot13 wrote:
sucks that because I leave bruises when I punch I would get in trouble because it's evidence that I "abused" him (that part sucked a lot :/ ).

Well who does not like it Blue and Yellow? (just look at me I am allready blue)
What really irritates me is that way too many takes relationship too public from what it should (like sharing what they did etc, what I felt they did care less about before and did not mention much unless something big happened)

But I guess thats something social media have made people share a bit too much? (talking about unnessary stuff making it into real life coneverstions like topics like they had if thats about right)
Now sharing time ^^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suiez9Jk3Gw
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Posted 6/15/15

Freddy96NO wrote:
Well who does not like it Blue and Yellow? (just look at me I am allready blue)
What really irritates me is that way too many takes relationship too public from what it should (like sharing what they did etc, what I felt they did care less about before and did not mention much unless something big happened)

But I guess thats something social media have made people share a bit too much? (talking about unnessary stuff making it into real life coneverstions like topics like they had if thats about right)
Now sharing time ^^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suiez9Jk3Gw


which part irritates you? that people actually talk about their past experiences with abusive relationships or people who are currently in abusive relationships and they just talk about what happens and don't do anything about it?
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Posted 6/15/15
Ouch, that sounds really harsh Laviriot13. I'm not sure if you'd accept my pity, but it should help to know that we are all in support of you.
Luckily it sounds like this was a while ago, I hope you're doing better.
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

laviriot13 wrote:
they just talk about what happens and don't do anything about it?

I mean those who says shit about the other, and things that is more private stuff (or personal matters that should be taken up with the other part or never said).
Yes its sometimes annyoes me if one of them talks about something they don't like about the other doing
and never tries to solve the problem (or speak out about it and just leave it to fall later on until it hit the bottom and broke).
Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15
Hey dudes who beat chicks.

Line up.

Hey chicks who beat dudes.

Line up.



You beat your kid? You beat your dog? You beat your mom? Your dad? Your grandparents...Or the lowlife scum who abuse the elderly in nursing homes..Line up, line up, line up, line up, and line up.

It's clobbering time.
Posted 6/15/15

espartochaos wrote:

Well, I don't know much about PHYSICAL abuse, I can tell you about emotional abuse though.


oh? do tell xD

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Posted 6/15/15

anzn wrote:

I've experienced one before, & knew people who have as well.
However I am not comfortable with sharing mine, or their stories on it.

You should focus on signs of emotional abuse more so than physical. Physical abuse is pretty obvious. The indications of emotional abuse can be easy to miss imo.
What some people use for emotional abuse are:
- Guilt
- Humiliation
- High expectations
- Pressure
- Possesive behavior
- Blame
- Constantly needing to know where you are & what you are doing (Stalking basically)
- Telling you to stop talking to certain people
- Monitoring your texts, emails, messages etc anything electronic usually

Physical abuse should be obvious. But what people seem to often miss about early indication is roughness during sex. (Ex, doing stuff you never said you were ok with like hair pulling, biting etc etc.) If you never said you were ok with that stuff, and they keep doing it or they end up saying something like "Its no big deal, you're overracting." This is assuming if you do ever engage in sexual activity with that person.
I think a very early indication is possibly who you are with.
If they are a grown adult already out of school & you're still a teenager, that's a big red flag.
It doesn't matter if you're 18 either. If you're 18 and they're like in their mid-20s, not OK.

A shove, raising their voice, stuff like that, can definitely be considered one of the earliest signs.



Most of what you call "abuse" is just.. normal human behaviour. If you're not okay with what's going on in the bedroom and you tell the person you're with, and they don't stop, you should most likely not be with that person.

Some people are possessive and coupled with insecurity, they will get "stalk-y", but if that's bothering you( you should've known what kind of person you're dating from the start, unless you're some kind of desperate person, dating anything you find)


Pretty much nothing of what you said is actually "abuse" nor indication of such.
Posted 6/15/15
i say, you ought to bail if they behave too wonderfully lol.
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Posted 6/15/15
I'd bail on a relationship with severticas any day.
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