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Post Reply How long could one suppress happy thoughts for?
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Posted 6/15/15
Honestly sounds like this guy is suffering from depression, or possibly bipolar, from the sounds of what he's doing/going through. A lot of what he's doing are classic signs of depression, giving away stuff that's important to him, not engaging in activities that he once enjoyed, isolating himself, etc.. Seems like the being gay/bi part is just an excuse for him to act that way without needing or wanting help. I agree with what PhantomGundam said in that I think he needs to see a therapist about it. What he is doing is not healthy at all.

As for the answer to your question, I don't think that it is possible to completely suppress happy/positive thoughts all of the time. Sooner or later, something's going to get through to make you feel those emotions again. I suffer from regular depression myself, and I can tell you that no matter how depressed I become, something always makes me feel some sort of positive emotion eventually.

And I can try and explain the whole 'Reek' thing to you. The picture is of Theon Greyjoy, a character in Game of Thrones who had it all because he was taken in by a noble family of an opposing kingdom after his Father gave him away to them to end the war. Later when he's grown up he goes back to his Father to try and win him over by fighting on his side. The enemy captures him, tortures him and breaks him physically and mentally, then shapes him into a slave he calls 'Reek'.
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silversongwriter wrote:

I've told you before about a dude I know who claimed god cured him of being gay, and in an earlier thread I mentioned he claims god has forsaken him and he's regressed back to the way he was... and now... he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore, so it's none of my concern. He said some pretentious shit about going on a "vow of sorrow" for God.
That's like abstinence. But instead of sex, it's with everything... don't watch your favorite shows, don't talk to your friends (I don't think of him as a friend anyway), no drinking, no weed, no outdoor activities... just... nothing. No fun stuff... fun is not allowed. Apparently he purposely gave a lot of valuable shit to punish himself. He got rid of some of his instruments, which pisses me off, cause I would have bought that shit off him if he didn't.

Now... I obviously don't believe his ass, I'm sure he's lying to get people to feel sorry for him. I really could not give a shit, however, I do wanna know... Let's pretend he's telling the truth.

If one vowed to suppress all possitive emotions, would it be possible or impossible? and for how long would it be possible? Let's say for whatever reason someone decided to suppress all their happiness... by say... thinking sad thoughts all the time, and getting mad on purpose, maybe hurting ones self, or getting rid of cherished items... Let's say deleting all of ones music, selling all of ones games, movies, collectibles, and just getting rid of cherished stuff... self harm and isolation could work, as well as not using social media.

Is it possible the brain would freak out due to lack of possitive stimuli and then you'd have no choice but to stop, or would you just continue being depressed.


So I've been having fun thinking of things in the horseshoe theory lately. It's intended for political ideology, but I think it can apply more broadly as long as we recognize there's a million horseshoes to the human condition.

Basically, it says that opposite ends of a political spectrum are closer to each other than to the center. Everybody experiences emotions differently, and I can't tell you how I'd feel about your friend's latest decision. It seems really irrational, sure, but your friend is experiencing things that nobody can blame him for. Life is a single canvas, and one period of Jackson Pollock can really screw up a foundation built on Rembrandt. it makes for an ugly picture that you sometimes need thick paint and Van Gogh style monomania to truly overcome.

Okay, too many metaphors, coming back to the horseshoe.

Joy and sorrow are on opposite ends of an emotional spectrum. They feel really similar even if they are totally about opposite ideals. They share something important in common as well, which is a rejection of patience for the emotions in-between.

Joy and sorrow can both be corrupted and overcome by patience, which is at the top of this particular horseshoe. In this case, your friend has found himself at a point where he needs to feel joy or sorrow exclusively, which is why I feel comfortable putting the emotions in this spectrum, and labeling the top of the horseshoe as patience. He is coming very close to feeling joy through sorrow, because lots of the cares and worries that come with maintaining patience are painful in ways that joy and sorrow are not.

So ask yourself what horseshoe you are on. From an outside perspective, I'm looking at exclusion and retaliation. Either you want to get him back for his frivolous ways or you want to ignore him forever from now on. You've settled somewhere on the retaliation side, because that's what frustrated posts looking for answers belie. In the center of this horseshoe is something else. It's not forgiveness or acceptance, but it's some kind of frustration that just isn't acceptable.

I'm searching for these answers myself, because I am self aware. I hope I have been able to pass along a tool that has become extremely helpful to me.

By the way, I have to sympathize with your friend in one respect. I've dedicated myself to a band and I'm too depressed and anxious to go to a music store and spend money that I have on pedals that I want. I am on the can't make a difference vs must make a difference horseshoe. I think at the top of this horseshoe is some feeling about not caring whether I make a difference or not. Which is at the bottom of a new horseshoe, the top of which I can't quite conceive. It's an easier metaphor to use with politics.
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

PurpleDjango wrote:


silversongwriter wrote:

I've told you before about a dude I know who claimed god cured him of being gay, and in an earlier thread I mentioned he claims god has forsaken him and he's regressed back to the way he was... and now... he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore, so it's none of my concern. He said some pretentious shit about going on a "vow of sorrow" for God.
That's like abstinence. But instead of sex, it's with everything... don't watch your favorite shows, don't talk to your friends (I don't think of him as a friend anyway), no drinking, no weed, no outdoor activities... just... nothing. No fun stuff... fun is not allowed. Apparently he purposely gave a lot of valuable shit to punish himself. He got rid of some of his instruments, which pisses me off, cause I would have bought that shit off him if he didn't.

Now... I obviously don't believe his ass, I'm sure he's lying to get people to feel sorry for him. I really could not give a shit, however, I do wanna know... Let's pretend he's telling the truth.

If one vowed to suppress all possitive emotions, would it be possible or impossible? and for how long would it be possible? Let's say for whatever reason someone decided to suppress all their happiness... by say... thinking sad thoughts all the time, and getting mad on purpose, maybe hurting ones self, or getting rid of cherished items... Let's say deleting all of ones music, selling all of ones games, movies, collectibles, and just getting rid of cherished stuff... self harm and isolation could work, as well as not using social media.

Is it possible the brain would freak out due to lack of possitive stimuli and then you'd have no choice but to stop, or would you just continue being depressed.


Lived a life without a lot of that, lets see how long it takes until his mind snaps ^.^


It doesn't take any time... he's been snapped. If his mind snaps it'd be nothing new.


BlackRose0607 wrote:

Honestly sounds like this guy is suffering from depression, or possibly bipolar, from the sounds of what he's doing/going through. A lot of what he's doing are classic signs of depression, giving away stuff that's important to him, not engaging in activities that he once enjoyed, isolating himself, etc.. Seems like the being gay/bi part is just an excuse for him to act that way without needing or wanting help. I agree with what PhantomGundam said in that I think he needs to see a therapist about it. What he is doing is not healthy at all.


I don't know about that... I mean, his parents woudln't take him to a therapist, they'd take him to a priest. And there's NO possible way he'd tell his parents about not being straight... that'd just be a dumb decision.

Plus, could a therapist convince him hell doesn't exist?
Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

BlackRose0607 wrote:

Honestly sounds like this guy is suffering from depression, or possibly bipolar, from the sounds of what he's doing/going through. A lot of what he's doing are classic signs of depression, giving away stuff that's important to him, not engaging in activities that he once enjoyed, isolating himself, etc.. Seems like the being gay/bi part is just an excuse for him to act that way without needing or wanting help. I agree with what PhantomGundam said in that I think he needs to see a therapist about it. What he is doing is not healthy at all.

Me 3. If he's gay, I'm sure he has some internalized homophobia going on as well. He definitely needs some therapy.


silversongwriter wrote:


anzn wrote:

Isn't that just cherophobia?


Yep... though according to wikipedia it's usually done by non-western cutlures for the sake of improving ones moral status. However, he's doing it to punish himself for being gay apparently... Though he may not be gay, he may be bi... where I'm from we use "gay" or "fag" to refer to all non-straight people... I'm not saying that's good, it's just how it is.
The only exception are lesbians, we refer to them as "hot"
Lesbiaphobia was not tolerated by peers

Bi or gay, doesn't matter. People will still hate you honestly. If he was bi, that'd be worse in my opinion. People seem more biphobic than homophobic from my experience. Because even homosexuals are pretty hateful against bisexuals too.
Well that's expected from straight men to find lesbians "hot". And gays are seen as "hot" to straight women.
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Posted 6/15/15
Seems like he is wanting of attention and/or a compulsive liar.

I did do something similar to "numbing" myself of emotion for about a year, but that was following a pretty messed up marriage of 8 years.
Posted 6/15/15


I'll never understand super christian and catholic families.
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Posted 6/15/15

anzn wrote:
Me 3. If he's gay, I'm sure he has some internalized homophobia going on as well. He definitely needs some therapy.


how's a therapist supposed to make him not believe in god. I guess he's not too strict a christian... it seems like he sort of liked being around me, and sometimes talks to me about shit... even though I'm an agnostic who does many drugs... Maybe he's just very, very lonely or something.


anzn wrote:
Bi or gay, doesn't matter. People will still hate you honestly. If he was bi, that'd be worse in my opinion. People seem more biphobic than homophobic from my experience. Because even homosexuals are pretty hateful against bisexuals too.
Well that's expected from straight men to find lesbians "hot". And gays are seen as "hot" to straight women.


Huh... so is that why only the girls called us out for being homophobic?
Posted 6/15/15

silversongwriter wrote:
how's a therapist supposed to make him not believe in god. I guess he's not too strict a christian... it seems like he sort of liked being around me, and sometimes talks to me about shit... even though I'm an agnostic who does many drugs... Maybe he's just very, very lonely or something.

Therapists aren't atheists and that's not how they would do their job. If he's a believer, they'll respect and won't try to change that.


silversongwriter wrote:
Huh... so is that why only the girls called us out for being homophobic?


Just because you fetishize lesbians/gays doesn't automatically make you not homophobic.
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

anzn wrote:

Therapists aren't atheists and that's not how they would do their job. If he's a believer, they'll respect and won't try to change that.


Yea... but still... the reason he's depressed is cause he thinks he's gonna go to hell... What would you do if you're a therapist in that scenario? Could his mental state even be cured without changing that thought?
And what kind of advice would you give to someone who believes so strongly?

I'm sure thinking you're gonna fry forever would freak anyone out.


anzn wrote:

Just because you fetishize lesbians/gays doesn't automatically make you not homophobic.


I'm not sure if it's homophobia... I mean... we ripped on everybody... so to not make fun of gays would be singling them out and treating them differently.
If we were supposed to treat gays like we treated everyone else... then we had to make fun of them.
Posted 6/15/15
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Posted 6/15/15

silversongwriter wrote:

I've told you before about a dude I know


(Read it for yourself, folks--He honestly expects us to remember everything he ever posts.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution offers this as Exhibit A. )
Posted 6/15/15

silversongwriter wrote:

Yea... but still... the reason he's depressed is cause he thinks he's gonna go to hell... What would you do if you're a therapist in that scenario? Could his mental state even be cured without changing that thought?

Yes it can.


silversongwriter wrote:

I'm not sure if it's homophobia... I mean... we ripped on everybody... so to not make fun of gays would be singling them out and treating them differently.
If we were supposed to treat gays like we treated everyone else... then we had to make fun of them.

??? You are already singling them out and treating them differently because they're gay.
It's simple as to what qualifies as homophobic or not. If you call someone a "fag", it's homophobic. If you call someone "ugly", it's not.
See the difference?
Because fag is a homophobic slur, while ugly is just a plain insult.
Posted 6/15/15
Some people go into denial and that can lead into a self destructive behaviour.
Some people might hurt themselves because deep down there is something hurting more and they want it gone.
It'll put you into a loop of degrading yourself to a point where you just feel numb.
Being numb is better than pain.
But there are breaking points to being numb.
Once you hit that breaking point everything comes crashing down and it is very hard to get back up.
Routine is the best way to climb your way out.
Eat, drink, work, exercise, sleep; just everything you should be doing on a daily basis.
Once you feel like you can do those, you'll feel like you can do more.

Imo
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

anzn wrote:
Yes it can.


Hmm... I'm not sure how. He'd still be living with the burden of eternal hell fire leaning above his shoulders


anzn wrote:
??? You are already singling them out and treating them differently because they're gay.
It's simple as to what qualifies as homophobic or not. If you call someone a "fag", it's homophobic. If you call someone "ugly", it's not.
See the difference?
Because fag is a homophobic slur, while ugly is just a plain insult.


We didn't treat them differently or harm them... we just made fun of them to ourselves. We just had a sense of humor that's all.

I mean, we made jokes on fat people, but that doesn't make us bigots... It's not like we went out of our way to make people feel horrible about themselves or anything. I mean... are Matt Stone and Trey Parker bigots? No... but they made fun of gays.


Ejanss wrote:


silversongwriter wrote:

I've told you before about a dude I know


(Read it for yourself, folks--He honestly expects us to remember everything he ever posts.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution offers this as Exhibit A. )


I only said that in case someone accused me of redundancy.. since I mentioned it in a thread earlier today... I don't remember all my posts myself, since I drink too much
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Posted 6/15/15 , edited 6/15/15

Mellowmi wrote:

Some people go into denial and that can lead into a self destructive behaviour.
Some people might hurt themselves because deep down there is something hurting more and they want it gone.
It'll put you into a loop of degrading yourself to a point where you just feel numb.
Being numb is better than pain.
But there are breaking points to being numb.
Once you hit that breaking point everything comes crashing down and it is very hard to get back up.
Routine is the best way to climb your way out.
Eat, drink, work, exercise, sleep; just everything you should be doing on a daily basis.
Once you feel like you can do those, you'll feel like you can do more.

Imo


I guess your right... Too be honest, I'm getting maybe a little concerned... I mean, the dude got rid of a Epiphone SG with GIBSON custom humbucker picups... like the pickups on that thing were ordered online and used in real Gibson guitars... So he got rid of a custom SG.

Think about that... he bought an epiphone SG, spend the money to order custom Gibson guitar pickups, and took the time to install the pick ups on his custom guitar... And the tone was amazing back in high school, I mean, I really coveted that guitar. And he just fucking got rid of it... just to punish himself.

I mean, it pisses me off he didn't give it to me... but still... it's also sad... like a artist breaking his own painting to punish himself for a mistake
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