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Post Reply Letting the past go
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Posted 6/17/15

Mellowmi wrote:


streamhopper wrote:


Mellowmi wrote:

Well, you have to know whether you're letting go of the past as a way of forgetting it
Or if you're accepting your past so you can move on


Well, it's taken me about 13 years, but I think I'm finally past it. Don't ask me why this one particular thing made me dwell on it for so long. I couldn't begin to answer.


There's probably something you look back on that you feel like it could have been different.
It's an anticipation of it and it can loop in your head because you're always thinking "What if".
It's a hard feeling to describe.
I don't know whether this is anything remotely close to what you feel.
I won't pry into it.
There was something that I also felt I was past it, but in this case I was given a chance to revisit it.
Something that always crept up.
I chose to revisit it.
Instead, I ended up regretting doing so half way through.
The past is the past; don't live in it.
Accept it.
Take it step by step, as tiny as you want it to be.
The future is brighter than the past.



Ah, it's ok, Mellowmi. This wound's scab is pretty thick now. There's something nice in the finality of it, though. I wouldn't say that closure was what I wanted, more understanding. It took me a while, but I think I got there. And yes, I do look to the future as being brighter than the past.
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Posted 6/17/15 , edited 6/18/15
Its a tough one. I used to be very positive minded and i did not dwell on the past at all.
Its a good place to be. But its hard to maintain.
I didn't worry about the past for a long time but now i dwell on the past quiet alot. Even if iam not dwelling or regreting i am often just thinking about it, or missing it.
Maybe its just a getting older thing? Like life is tougher and less fun than it used to be?
Maybe i miss the people that passed away?
Blown oppertunities, people i drifted appart from? bad decisions?, etc

Its pointless to dwell but its not always easy. Like sometimes laying in bed or having a shower i'll randomly be thinking about way back.
Sometimes i think i need to cut loose from some people from my past also. Eh
EDIT: oh and like what you said, i think it is good to forgive and let go and move on. Not always easy. On top of things that are hard to forgive i also feel guilt for things from the past.
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Posted 6/18/15

MrAnimeSK wrote:

Its a tough one. I used to be very positive minded and i did not dwell on the past at all.
Its a good place to be. But its hard to maintain.
I didn't worry about the past for a long time but now i dwell on the past quiet alot. Even if iam not dwelling or regreting i am often just thinking about it, or missing it.
Maybe its just a getting older thing? Like life is tougher and less fun than it used to be?
Maybe i miss the people that passed away?
Blown oppertunities, people i drifted appart from? bad decisions?, etc

Its pointless to dwell but its not always easy. Like sometimes laying in bed or having a shower i'll randomly be thinking about way back.
Sometimes i think i need to cut loose from some people from my past also. Eh


Yeah, I know what you mean. It probably is a getting older thing, at least in part. It took me a long time to get over the past, and I was bitter about it for a long time. I think I'm good now, but I always wonder if it will come back again at some point in the future.
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Posted 6/18/15
Guess we all have really good and really bad memories and have been wrong done by people.
But i myself was forgiven for something bad that i did so..
I swear in the past i has so much more free time though! Not sure how becasue i was more social and i gamed more? lol..
Anyways..
Posted 6/18/15
Nope.
It will always haunt you in your subconscious... you'll dream about it sometimes, and wake up crying.

(unless you're 70 and diagnosed with dementia).
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Posted 6/18/15

streamhopper wrote:

Ok, well, yeah this is a bit of a strange topic, but I've been listening to music that reminds me of my past, which made me think...is it really possible to let the past go? There's all kinds of levels of past, at least for me. I can forgive a lot of it, but some I do keep for myself. Is it better to just let it all go, or keep a few bits and pieces for yourself?


I think accepting and letting go of the emotions and feelings you undergone in the past is vital and necessary, but your past self is still a part of you and the experiences, memories, and opinions of your past self cannot be forgotten.

A way I look at it is like those Russian Matryoshka Dolls (Google it if you don't know what they are). The smallest doll at the center is your furthermost past self. As you gain experiences overtime, you create a new shell, which solidifies a new layer of your identity. Overtime, you build more and more upon this identity, creating newer, stronger shells that give your persona layers and depth as you mature.

If someone were to forget their past and disregard who they used to be, however, it would be like a hollow Matryoshka doll: they would have the outermost layer, but they would lose the depth and complexity of their innermost persona, only leaving a hollow, shallow facade. By casting away the past, they have lost a vital part of themselves.

Understanding your past, therefore, is key to understanding who you are today and will help direct your path as to who you want to become tomorrow. Memories, old bonds, and past actions may be painful, but recognizing and accepting the past makes people complete and whole and allows them to look ahead to the future without regret or shame.
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Posted 6/18/15

Nightblade370 wrote:


streamhopper wrote:

Ok, well, yeah this is a bit of a strange topic, but I've been listening to music that reminds me of my past, which made me think...is it really possible to let the past go? There's all kinds of levels of past, at least for me. I can forgive a lot of it, but some I do keep for myself. Is it better to just let it all go, or keep a few bits and pieces for yourself?


I think accepting and letting go of the emotions and feelings you undergone in the past is vital and necessary, but your past self is still a part of you and the experiences, memories, and opinions of your past self cannot be forgotten.

A way I look at it is like those Russian Matryoshka Dolls (Google it if you don't know what they are). The smallest doll at the center is your furthermost past self. As you gain experiences overtime, you create a new shell, which solidifies a new layer of your identity. Overtime, you build more and more upon this identity, creating newer, stronger shells that give your persona layers and depth as you mature.

If someone were to forget their past and disregard who they used to be, however, it would be like a hollow Matryoshka doll: they would have the outermost layer, but they would lose the depth and complexity of their innermost persona, only leaving a hollow, shallow facade. By casting away the past, they have lost a vital part of themselves.

Understanding your past, therefore, is key to understanding who you are today and will help direct your path as to who you want to become tomorrow. Memories, old bonds, and past actions may be painful, but recognizing and accepting the past makes people complete and whole and allows them to look ahead to the future without regret or shame.


That's a really interesting way to look at it. Pretty good analogy, actually. My problem wasn't so much in forgetting the past, but healing the scars; though your point about casting it away makes sense. It took awhile for the paint to dry on this coat, though.
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Posted 6/18/15 , edited 6/18/15

streamhopper wrote:


Nightblade370 wrote:


streamhopper wrote:

Ok, well, yeah this is a bit of a strange topic, but I've been listening to music that reminds me of my past, which made me think...is it really possible to let the past go? There's all kinds of levels of past, at least for me. I can forgive a lot of it, but some I do keep for myself. Is it better to just let it all go, or keep a few bits and pieces for yourself?


I think accepting and letting go of the emotions and feelings you undergone in the past is vital and necessary, but your past self is still a part of you and the experiences, memories, and opinions of your past self cannot be forgotten.

A way I look at it is like those Russian Matryoshka Dolls (Google it if you don't know what they are). The smallest doll at the center is your furthermost past self. As you gain experiences overtime, you create a new shell, which solidifies a new layer of your identity. Overtime, you build more and more upon this identity, creating newer, stronger shells that give your persona layers and depth as you mature.

If someone were to forget their past and disregard who they used to be, however, it would be like a hollow Matryoshka doll: they would have the outermost layer, but they would lose the depth and complexity of their innermost persona, only leaving a hollow, shallow facade. By casting away the past, they have lost a vital part of themselves.

Understanding your past, therefore, is key to understanding who you are today and will help direct your path as to who you want to become tomorrow. Memories, old bonds, and past actions may be painful, but recognizing and accepting the past makes people complete and whole and allows them to look ahead to the future without regret or shame.


That's a really interesting way to look at it. Pretty good analogy, actually. My problem wasn't so much in forgetting the past, but healing the scars; though your point about casting it away makes sense. It took awhile for the paint to dry on this coat, though.


I can understand; I have some emotional scars that might take me the rest of my life to heal, actually. I don't particularly like to talk about it, though.

All I can say there is take each problem as it comes and try to live your life in full acceptance of what happened. You might not want to accept it at first, but it only wastes energy to hate, to regret, to fear. When I thought of it that way, it made me angry that I was letting the circumstances control me and that's when I sought the road to recovery.

Just be warned: recovery is not instantaneous and something you don't understand one day might take a few minutes or a few years to completely understand. It depends on the severity of the situation and how willing you are to recover.

Oh, and thanks ^_^
Posted 6/18/15
Time brills all hounds.
Posted 6/18/15
I'm not completely sure what you mean by let it go.
I think you shouldn't let your past define you. You should accept what has happen in the past and let it go. But you shouldn't make yourself forget about it either.
You can use it as a sorta...reminder on how much you've changed from that time. I think once you completely let it go, you can later use it as a sorta lift-me-up. You've overcame what happened then, you can overcome this too.
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Posted 6/18/15
It's a waste of time to dwell on the past. Unless you got a time machine in your closet
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Posted 6/18/15 , edited 6/18/15
To me, the hardest part of accepting & letting go is myself.


But hey, we need pain in our heart
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Posted 6/19/15
The past is one of those points in time we dwell on. Especially the negatives. I certainly dwell on my negative actions often, and I think it is possible to gt over the past, as long as you tell yourself your future is bright, and you're on the right track
Sogno- 
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Posted 6/19/15
i dont remember anything from the past

so yeah it's possible
Posted 6/19/15 , edited 6/19/15
Memories are 9/10 untrue anyway imo we seem to remember events via our own bias. i don't remember the feelings of the past because i think the memory might be partly fabricated by my mind so there is nothing to let go.
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