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Post Reply Letting the past go
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24 / M / Ohio, USA
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Posted 6/19/15
If you cannot let the past go you will never see a colorful future. All you will see is black and white.
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Posted 6/19/15

jeffcoatstephen wrote:

If you cannot let the past go you will never see a colorful future. All you will see is black and white.


I'm the OP on this. I get what you're saying, I honestly do. I think I've finally moved along from where I was, but it took a very long time. I saw nothing but black and white for many years. It does suck getting hurt. But I know now it wasn't a one way street. I did my share of hurt, and I paid for it, as I should. Now I'm just scared to get in the game again. Call me Maverik, I lost the ability to engage. We'll see what happens.
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Posted 6/19/15
if you are young in years you need to let a lot go because your past we keep growing from creating memories as you move forward in life
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Posted 6/19/15

scoobydew wrote:

if you are young in years you need to let a lot go because your past we keep growing from creating memories as you move forward in life


I'm younger than you are. I want to let the past go, but I'm afraid of the future. I would have been an awesome 60's kid. Life was simpler then. No Internet. No cell phones. The pressure was lower. If you couldn't reach your buddy on the phone, you biked over to his house. I remember those days, but I do like where we're at now. I meet people I never could have before. That, to me, is awesome.
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Posted 6/19/15

streamhopper wrote:


scoobydew wrote:

if you are young in years you need to let a lot go because your past we keep growing from creating memories as you move forward in life


I'm younger than you are. I want to let the past go, but I'm afraid of the future. I would have been an awesome 60's kid. Life was simpler then. No Internet. No cell phones. The pressure was lower. If you couldn't reach your buddy on the phone, you biked over to his house. I remember those days, but I do like where we're at now. I meet people I never could have before. That, to me, is awesome.


We had I think 12 channels on TV and we thought that was a lot. Summer Vacation was endless! Spin the Bottle or 5 minutes in heaven good times
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Posted 6/19/15

scoobydew wrote:


streamhopper wrote:


scoobydew wrote:

if you are young in years you need to let a lot go because your past we keep growing from creating memories as you move forward in life


I'm younger than you are. I want to let the past go, but I'm afraid of the future. I would have been an awesome 60's kid. Life was simpler then. No Internet. No cell phones. The pressure was lower. If you couldn't reach your buddy on the phone, you biked over to his house. I remember those days, but I do like where we're at now. I meet people I never could have before. That, to me, is awesome.


We had I think 12 channels on TV and we thought that was a lot. Summer Vacation was endless! Spin the Bottle or 5 minutes in heaven good times


Yep. I was my dad's remote control. "Go mess with the rabbit ears!", "Change the channel!"

Saturday morning cartoons. Summer break spent watching game shows and Gilligan's Island, until mom came home and wanted to watch Star Trek, which I later became a fan of but hated at the time because it interrupted my cartoons.
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Posted 6/19/15
Who knows. Maybe one day I'll figure out this question and get back to you.
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Posted 6/19/15
I don't think I let go of anything. There are things in the past that I dwell on a lot, things that I wish could have had a better outcome or whatever. I never want to forget any of it, and why would I? Remembering bad memories lights the fire under me, and motivates me to not make that same mistake, or to do better and cause a better outcome. I don't want to simply let go of them and learn nothing.

That being said, I don't dwell on things that were out of my control. If it only causes grief or anger without a lesson or motivation in return, it's a useless memory and I stop thinking about it.

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Posted 6/19/15

Stay_Night wrote:

I don't think I let go of anything. There are things in the past that I dwell on a lot, things that I wish could have had a better outcome or whatever. I never want to forget any of it, and why would I? Remembering bad memories lights the fire under me, and motivates me to not make that same mistake, or to do better and cause a better outcome. I don't want to simply let go of them and learn nothing.

That being said, I don't dwell on things that were out of my control. If it only causes grief or anger without a lesson or motivation in return, it's a useless memory and I stop thinking about it.



Actually, I'm the OP on this. And since I started the thread, I got a lot of different views on it, that made me think a lot about my views. I won't say I've totally changed. But I agree with a lot of what you said - I tell my students the same thing, "It's ok to make a mistake, just don't repeat it." I spent too long saying it, and not enough time listening to it.
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Posted 6/19/15
It's very hard to let it go. The problem is that many people tend to hold longtime grudges, at least in my lineage, and that can prevent one from ever fully "forgiving" or "forgetting".

I'd say for me it's almost impossible to FULLY forget what people have done to me in the past; I was bullied heavily in middle school and betrayed last year by people i considered "close internet friends" (i was a daft lil bloke back then, thinking that THOSE kinds of friendships could last though), and those two parts of my life do stick with me.

Was hospitalized last year, that's what makes what happened so awfully memorable, and I was also hospitalized in middle school. Last year it was mainly for my pneumonia, I was out for the last month of school thanks to it, but partially also because I did a thing I didn't do in a long time, harm myself physically because I felt life wasn't worth living anymore. I think what makes me hold memories of the past is what the past made me FEEL. What people made me feel. What those individuals brought forth in me that I thought to be monstrous, and evil, the me that they brought forth that WASN'T me. I didn't feel like myself. I still feel stingy towards these people because the majority of them are still acting as if I can't change, and the same as they did, doing the same things that made me feel like my life wasn't worth living in the first place, towards others.
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Posted 6/19/15

animegirl2222 wrote:

It's very hard to let it go. The problem is that many people tend to hold longtime grudges, at least in my lineage, and that can prevent one from ever fully "forgiving" or "forgetting".

I'd say for me it's almost impossible to FULLY forget what people have done to me in the past; I was bullied heavily in middle school and betrayed last year by people i considered "close internet friends" (i was a daft lil bloke back then, thinking that THOSE kinds of friendships could last though), and those two parts of my life do stick with me.

Was hospitalized last year, that's what makes what happened so awfully memorable, and I was also hospitalized in middle school. Last year it was mainly for my pneumonia, I was out for the last month of school thanks to it, but partially also because I did a thing I didn't do in a long time, harm myself physically because I felt life wasn't worth living anymore. I think what makes me hold memories of the past is what the past made me FEEL. What people made me feel. What those individuals brought forth in me that I thought to be monstrous, and evil, the me that they brought forth that WASN'T me. I didn't feel like myself. I still feel stingy towards these people because the majority of them are still acting as if I can't change, and the same as they did, doing the same things that made me feel like my life wasn't worth living in the first place, towards others.


I'm sorry, but glad you're better.

I had a bad relationship long ago (+15 years), but it changed my entire viewpoint. I have forgiven the person involved, but it took a long time. Some things change, some things don't. I was the most angry I'd ever been in my life, and I'm not an angry individual. I saw a side of myself I'd never seen, and hope to never see again. I'm not that person. Mistakes were made on both sides, and I know that now. I keep my love of alternative rock to remind me of that time. It's the only relic I have of it beyond memory.
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Posted 6/19/15

streamhopper wrote:


animegirl2222 wrote:

It's very hard to let it go. The problem is that many people tend to hold longtime grudges, at least in my lineage, and that can prevent one from ever fully "forgiving" or "forgetting".

I'd say for me it's almost impossible to FULLY forget what people have done to me in the past; I was bullied heavily in middle school and betrayed last year by people i considered "close internet friends" (i was a daft lil bloke back then, thinking that THOSE kinds of friendships could last though), and those two parts of my life do stick with me.

Was hospitalized last year, that's what makes what happened so awfully memorable, and I was also hospitalized in middle school. Last year it was mainly for my pneumonia, I was out for the last month of school thanks to it, but partially also because I did a thing I didn't do in a long time, harm myself physically because I felt life wasn't worth living anymore. I think what makes me hold memories of the past is what the past made me FEEL. What people made me feel. What those individuals brought forth in me that I thought to be monstrous, and evil, the me that they brought forth that WASN'T me. I didn't feel like myself. I still feel stingy towards these people because the majority of them are still acting as if I can't change, and the same as they did, doing the same things that made me feel like my life wasn't worth living in the first place, towards others.


I'm sorry, but glad you're better.

I had a bad relationship long ago (+15 years), but it changed my entire viewpoint. I have forgiven the person involved, but it took a long time. Some things change, some things don't. I was the most angry I'd ever been in my life, and I'm not an angry individual. I saw a side of myself I'd never seen, and hope to never see again. I'm not that person. Mistakes were made on both sides, and I know that now. I keep my love of alternative rock to remind me of that time. It's the only relic I have of it beyond memory.


Music has always helped me feel a tad better about my past predicaments. Music kind of speaks to me, in many ways, and expresses my feelings when I feel like I can't.
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Posted 6/19/15


When I was about 17, I had a friend who was really into Metallica and metal bands. I hated it, but I indulged him. After my incident, I suddenly understood. It took that level of emotion for me to truly understand what my friend had been through. Suddenly, I understood the songs he listened to, and why he did. I keep that part of me in both his sake, and my own. I'm partial to 90's alt rock, like Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, and Nirvana, but I'm good with newer stuff too, like Ten Years, Pop Evil, and Amaranthe. It does make me feel better, like I won't be an angry old man forever. =P
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Posted 6/19/15
Not sure if my opinion really applies, since I am an amnesiac and don't really have a past but....

I think remember the past is a good thing. It allows you to learn from your mistakes. I think it's also fine to let it affect you emotionally to some degree, it only shows that you are human.
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