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Post Reply Social Awkwardness
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27 / F
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Posted 6/19/15
*cringe*

I am highly introverted. I don't like being social at all, especially with family. I have nothing to say, and usually the topic at hand involves prying into my life. Or, to be more accurate, lack thereof. For that, my responses go: Yes, I am still depressed, no, I am not interested in dating, no, I haven't made any friends, no, I do not have any new hobbies, no, I do not want to talk about the book I brought with me.

Rude? Definitely. But I'm tired of them trying to get a rise out of me. "You're too quiet!" Yeah, and it's because you're making me very uncomfortable. I've learned to accept and even slowly embrace my depression and loneliness, and I'm feeling better for it, but that doesn't mean I want to be bombarded with the same questions about it over and over again.

It'd be nice if they actually took an interest in my hobbies, instead of trying to convince me to 'find better ones'. Maybe then I'd open up a little more.

Er...I went on a mini-rant, and likely off-topic, too. I'm sorry.
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Posted 6/19/15
I've always been more socially awkward. It's unfortunate. It's like, when I am comfortable talking around someone, i can and will talk their ears off, I will literally chatter for hours, but i have a problem with my conversations often being too choppy / random. The good thing is that, despite the fact that I have no social prowess, and will never be a socialite, I'm slowly but surely working on it.

What kind of helps my current predicament is that my newer guy friend, who kind of might have feelings for me, and I have feelings for him, isn't a social butterfly either. So the two of us get along just fine.
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Posted 6/19/15

Selenae wrote:

*cringe*

I am highly introverted. I don't like being social at all, especially with family. I have nothing to say, and usually the topic at hand involves prying into my life. Or, to be more accurate, lack thereof. For that, my responses go: Yes, I am still depressed, no, I am not interested in dating, no, I haven't made any friends, no, I do not have any new hobbies, no, I do not want to talk about the book I brought with me.

Rude? Definitely. But I'm tired of them trying to get a rise out of me. "You're too quiet!" Yeah, and it's because you're making me very uncomfortable. I've learned to accept and even slowly embrace my depression and loneliness, and I'm feeling better for it, but that doesn't mean I want to be bombarded with the same questions about it over and over again.

It'd be nice if they actually took an interest in my hobbies, instead of trying to convince me to 'find better ones'. Maybe then I'd open up a little more.

Er...I went on a mini-rant, and likely off-topic, too. I'm sorry.


*patpats*

It's ok. I've got family like that, too. If they knew half of what really happened, they'd freak. There's nothing wrong with being quiet. In fact, I prefer it. I hate it when people try to pry into my private life like they know just what I should do. Yeah, you're not me. So no, you can't help.
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40 / M / California, USA
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Posted 6/19/15

streamhopper wrote:

*chuckles* I'm full time work force. Have been for the last 20 years. Social awkwardness doesn't change just because you get older. If anything, I'd say I'm more socially awkward than I was when I was younger. If there's a girl in my class, I'm probably her teacher (I do take classes, though, so all bets are off on that). Although I do agree with your last statement - life certainly has a sense of humor.


Ahhh, then you have the unenviable career path of being in a work place where you are no where near your working peers - the teacher. Where all day long they interact with people that its considered taboo to socialize with in a non professional fashion. You have my sympathy. My apologies too for giving the example of the pre-college situation, its why I asked... Someone of 20 years post college experience as yourself would find the example funny and useless.

But, I hope you keep trying.... if it was me, I would try to find outlets that might allow me to have interaction with people that are not my students. Book clubs could be an example.... though it seems cliché as write it.

Ultimately... yes, I think the social awkwardness shown in anime is how everyone feels most the time. Just some of us are better at overcoming it then others.
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26 / M / North Carolina
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Posted 6/19/15
I'm an introvert who happens to be shy and have issues with anxiety.

Toxic combo.

Hell, I almost didn't graduate high school because of it.
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Posted 6/19/15

ntrebooter wrote:


streamhopper wrote:

*chuckles* I'm full time work force. Have been for the last 20 years. Social awkwardness doesn't change just because you get older. If anything, I'd say I'm more socially awkward than I was when I was younger. If there's a girl in my class, I'm probably her teacher (I do take classes, though, so all bets are off on that). Although I do agree with your last statement - life certainly has a sense of humor.


Ahhh, then you have the unenviable career path of being in a work place where you are no where near your working peers - the teacher. Where all day long they interact with people that its considered taboo to socialize with in a non professional fashion. You have my sympathy. My apologies too for giving the example of the pre-college situation, its why I asked... Someone of 20 years post college experience as yourself would find the example funny and useless.

But, I hope you keep trying.... if it was me, I would try to find outlets that might allow me to have interaction with people that are not my students. Book clubs could be an example.... though it seems cliché as write it.

Ultimately... yes, I think the social awkwardness shown in anime is how everyone feels most the time. Just some of us are better at overcoming it then others.


Not at all. I appreciate all opinions and viewpoints. It keeps me flexible and keeps me from becoming part of some antique collection. I think IT is like the landing pad for all the socially awkward people. At least that's been my experience. Some could be social, some should be, and some definitely shouldn't be. I deal with it all, but I like what I do. I give people careers. They can provide for their families because I passed along some knowledge. To me, that's a pretty cool thing.
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 6/19/15

Selenae wrote:

*cringe*

I am highly introverted. I don't like being social at all, especially with family. I have nothing to say, and usually the topic at hand involves prying into my life. Or, to be more accurate, lack thereof. For that, my responses go: Yes, I am still depressed, no, I am not interested in dating, no, I haven't made any friends, no, I do not have any new hobbies, no, I do not want to talk about the book I brought with me.

Rude? Definitely. But I'm tired of them trying to get a rise out of me. "You're too quiet!" Yeah, and it's because you're making me very uncomfortable. I've learned to accept and even slowly embrace my depression and loneliness, and I'm feeling better for it, but that doesn't mean I want to be bombarded with the same questions about it over and over again.

It'd be nice if they actually took an interest in my hobbies, instead of trying to convince me to 'find better ones'. Maybe then I'd open up a little more.

Er...I went on a mini-rant, and likely off-topic, too. I'm sorry.


As far as your being rude, it sounds like you aren't as rude as they are. They are not normal people.

We might be related.....
I remember having to put up with that same mindset from most of my relatives, I do not call them family. (They are not what a family is supposed to be... family is supposed to be supportive.) They'd ask about what I like then run me down for liking it. They advise me to get better hobbies, interests, etc. and when I'd comment on their "crap" they'd get pissed off that I treated them the same way they treated me. They are not normal people.

(My family are my Mom, Dad, big brother and his wife, they have been very supportive pretty much all the time.)

With years of that kind of experience it can be a little debilitating when you attempt to talk to people you don't know, wondering if they'll have have some snarky remark or act like a normal person and carry on an adult conversation.

I could never be much of a sales person, I just cannot be "ON" like that for very long. Talking to someone who has no common interests with me is kind of hard.

Sometimes just contemplating the universe or something deep, or just reading is just fine . . .
. . . and if they don't like it... TOUGH SHIT.
It took me a long time to figure that out.
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42 / M / A Mile High
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Posted 6/19/15
I too have gotten much more socially awkward as I have gotten older. Although, I think a better way to put it is; as I get older I exert much less effort to overcome my social limitations.

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Posted 6/19/15

Arielgirl375 wrote:

Im awkward but I think it's just part of my personality but if a guy I really like is talking with me. I get pretty awkward. More than usual. Or maybe it is I feel more awkward. I wonder if there is a difference in feeling awkward or just being awkward. Is it possible to not feel awkward but just be awkward? Or the other way around.


There are tons of situations where it could be awkward for anyone, whether you are naturally awkward or not. I think a lot of people feel a bit awkward or shy when the guy they have a crush on talk to them. Over time though, that feeling will do away, hopefully. If not, just be comfortable with it and accept it was part of who you are. And also, yes, there are people who are just awkward in general, but as long as they are good people and have good hearts, I think that's what matters the most.


I dread going to gathering, but one thing that's help me is try to be curious about others, to ask them questions and to understand them (be genuine), and also to observe how others behave. A lot of Buzzfeed youtube videos (search "buzzfeed awkward") are interesting to watch that way and kind of let you know that you're not the only one who feels awkward in certain situations. So watching videos like that has helped a bit in overcoming or mediating my social awkwardness. Watching them tell the stories and seeing how they are ok with it was inspiring.

Another thing that I do is to mentally picture how best to behave in certain situations. For example, if a guy hit on me, I'm going to imagine that I'll politely say thank you and I'm not interested and walk/turn away. Michael Phelps do a lot of visualization outside the pool, imaging the water brushing past his skin, the muscle in his arms tensing as he burys his hand into the water, the length of the pool. That was why he could swim well even when water got into his goggles.

Recalling past situations also helps, to think back and refilm the awkward incident in your head and analyze why you were nervous and what you could have done better. I also imagine weird accidents happening and how I'll handle it. It's mortifying to think about, say, your fly unzipped or you accidentally pooped in your pants. Bad thing will happen, even after taking precautions.

Instead of dreading things to happen, just let it go and know that it's how you handle the situation that matters, not the problem itself.
Posted 6/20/15
I am very social, I am shy at first. I have no filter.
Posted 6/20/15
Can't tell if i'm just socially awkward or awkward in general...or something different from those.
Not only did I look weird, but I felt kinda weird too. People found my interests, hobbies, and thoughts unusual but I don't see how really? Other than I guess a person like me shouldn't be (or just typically) like me. I can't seem to properly express what I'm feeling or just what I'm trying to say. I also tend to give off a vibe that makes me seem I am either annoyed or not interested.
I know I feel really weird and anxious in most social situations. (in person mostly) I say things I shouldn't really say, or that is irrelevant, or I come off differently than how I wanted. Sometimes I end up confusing myself too, and questioning if I actually do know what I'm talking about.
Some people find me witty probably because I end up using sarcastic and/or witty humor often when I am trying to have practically all types of conversations.
I think it is the best way to express my opinions, thoughts and/or feelings on anything.

I feel like I'd be more social if I wasn't like this.
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17 / M / The Bay
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Posted 6/20/15 , edited 6/20/15
Its not like I'm socially awkward but I swear some people put on an act and I can't read their personality. So to avoid unnecessary issues I just wait.(Cause a lot of my jokes can be pretty offensive There's no limit on how far you can take a joke.) As soon as I got something to talk about and you know me, I'm one of the most social people. Like I need to interact with people or I just sleep through boredom.
Posted 6/20/15 , edited 6/20/15
Nah, i'm alpha. A wolf xD

put a girl in front of me and I'll turn to a blob of goo.


You're a bit old for that OP.. not checking out the youngins are yah? xD just kiddin
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Posted 6/20/15
The social awkwardness portrayed in anime could be construed as more of a plot device than a considered inference depicting a societal paradigm.Another example would be bleeding out the nose to denote sexual arousal.I personally haven't been socially awkward since I was a teenager .Sounds like a Janis Ian song.
Posted 6/20/15
Best way to get over social anxiety/shyness is to seriously put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable. Don't get complacent sitting in the corner at the party, I guess you could say. It's obviously tough but eventually you'll be more active in social settings. You need practice.
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Posted 6/20/15

severticas wrote:

Nah, i'm alpha. A wolf xD

put a girl in front of me and I'll turn to a blob of goo.


You're a bit old for that OP.. not checking out the youngins are yah? xD just kiddin


*laughs* I'm not dead yet. But I do have rules. Gotta be an adult (legally) - it reminds me of signs you see at carnivals "you must be this tall to ride".
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