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"Fake" Sexualities
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Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/28/15

IShouldBeStudying wrote:

I understand that you like what you like, but you don't have to make up some fake category based specifically on that preference.
If a dude says "I like guys that are this, this, and that, so I'm ____sexual." I'm gonna say no dude, you're just gay guy that has a type.

People try to make things more complicated than it seems.


Think it's our childish fear that we've now Changed Forever if we find ourselves suddenly having an impulse we're not used to, for various and sundry complicated reasons of the moment--

I'd liken the sexuality metaphor to people who normally considered themselves liberal who on 9/11 suddenly found themselves thinking, "Well, yeah, I'm in favor of going to Iraq and beating those loonies up!...Hey, that must mean I'm a Conservative now! I'd better start listening to Rush Limbaugh!"
Those who were more confused by what they believed was their sudden "werewolf transformation" tried to find new categories that would keep them from thinking they'd have to alter their lifestyle permanently: "I'm more of a middle-of-the-road New Moderate, with Liberalist leanings..."

(Moral: It's okay to be momentarily confused without changing or insisting on a new category for your driver's license.)
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42 / M / A Mile High
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Posted 6/28/15
There are infinite shades of sexuality, unique to each individual. If someone chooses to put a label on it to help express who they are, there is nothing wrong with that. It has no effect on my life.
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Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/29/15

KarenAraragi wrote:

Not offence to your mom or those people but they can go and fuck them self.

Last time I check, I have a boner for guys and girls.

I am sorry but I like variety. Anybody who think I have to pick one flavor is a condescending asshole.





Hooold it right there. How the hell you get boner for Guys?! That tell me something wrong with your brain, it got wired wrong! All guys get boners for Ladies.

I wonder if there Med you can take, it'll balance out your mind. -shrugs-
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31 / M / L'Étoile du Nord,...
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Posted 6/28/15
As far as I'm concerned, the only time one's sexuality is fake is if that person chooses to be that sexuality. However, being homosexual, bisexual, or pansexual, or asexual, or whatever-sexual isn't always a choice, as it often happens when you're born....though sometimes it happens when you're exposed to certain things. One example is that if a child was molested, he/she will develop a non-heterosexual attraction later on in life. Though, in that case, it's tragic, especially since that child was subject to something horrible such as molestation.

We never know what a person's attraction is until they're grown up, because in the mean time they're still children and they should be out doing what children do, like having fun and stuff. Due to the fact that homosexuality is still a difficult thing to accept, people tend to stick with the "It's just a phase" response when they find out that someone dear to them is exhibiting non-heterosexual tendencies.....there's a few people out there who will be disgusted by this response, but I'd say it's better than, say, resorting to physical violence towards that person, which is what happened a long time ago.
At risk of sounding biased, I tend to see instances of non-heterosexuality happen with girls. To that, I don't know how to respond without sounding more and more biased, but to me it's a bit different because girls are generally more open about their feelings than boys. Plus it's viewed as okay to most people because people think it's cute to see female intimacy (hugging, etc), whereas bromance isn't pleasant to look at to some people.

On a personal note, to tie in with the inquiry about "fake sexuality", all I can say is that I've been attracted to women since I was a child. I liked hugging pretty girls; I remember that much.

The point here is that heterosexuality wasn't my choice. I guess I was born that way. This concept could be applied to people who are bisexual or homosexual. However, they have a bit more of a challenge because when people who love them, such as their parents, discover non-hetero activity, they start having questions and doubts. But if they truly loved their children, they would learn to accept it sooner or later.
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29 / M / Atlanta, GA, USA
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Posted 6/28/15
I don't mean to say anything crazy here, but I don't think it's necessary to label us based on what's, most likely, entirely whimsical sexual attraction. It's not really important to our identity and has about the same effect as someone mentioning what foods they like to me.

I'm sure many disagree, but it's about the same as an avid tea drinker insisting that tea is part of their identity. We just think of it as harmless silliness and it doesn't really alter our perception of the person. Which is an ideal attitude to take, in my opinion.
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Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/28/15
-shrugs- I'm not offended by what strangers think. I knew from a young age that I am asexual, and most likely aromantic as well. In my case, my being this way is most certainly not a 'phase' nor a choice.
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Posted 6/28/15
It's because the more obscure labels are not for you, they are for the people who adopt them to better understand themselves. Self-applied labels can indeed help people, who can choose to use them or not, discarding them if feelings change. Sexuality is fluid.

If you demean someone for their odd choice of label, you're not being a sharp-nosed sleuth sniffing out bullshit, you're being an asshole who's telling someone their current understanding and expression of one of the most intimate and personal dimensions of their self is invalid.

Hell, even if you might be right in some instances about the occasional person being completely off base with labels, but who the hell cares! Unless you're in a relationship with the person in question, it's none of your fucking business even if they're outright lying!

Long-story short, if it helps a single teen feel less broken about not fitting into the conventional boxes or to better contextualize their feelings, it's worth any amount of headscratching over why there are so many damn labels.

And that's just the courtesy argument.
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19 / M / Seattle, WA
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Posted 6/28/15
After reading this, I think I might be demisexual lol
Posted 6/28/15
I am gender-queer , boy sometimes girl sometimes , but i was born a boy:)
so i think i prefer males
Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/29/15

gvblackmoon wrote:

There is actually some really good research that has been done on this and there are now a couple of different scales on which you would fall depending on how you answer the questions asked and you do have to answer them honestly. The more famous of the two is the Kinsey scale which goes from 0 to 6. With 0 being exclusively heterosexual and 6 begin exclusively homosexual everyone falls somewhere on the scale just a matter of how honest you are with the questions the second scale is more granular and gives an even more detailed assessment of what your sexuality is but in both cases it is very well done science and provides solid evidence into human sexuality.

I had taken it a few years ago.
I got equally heterosexual & homosexual. So, bisexual.
I thinks its a good test if you wanna know your sexuality.
Posted 6/28/15
People's idea of labels helping others find themselves or learn more about themselves doesn't really make sense to me. I mean.. Labels are restrictive. You are more likely to try to fit into that particular mold than to already be a perfect fit for it. This is why I don't understand why it's so important for a lot of people to find a label or to use as many as possible. I find that it's not really about expressing yourself / your individuality. It's more about creating an image for other people to see. *shrug*

Just my thoughts.
Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/29/15

JanusCascade wrote:



Hooold it right there. How the hell you get boner for Guys?! That tell me something wrong with your brain, it got wired wrong! All guys get boners for Ladies.

I wonder if there Med you can take, it'll balance out your mind. -shrugs-


If you are not gay or bisexual. How do you expect me to explain to you ? Simple really. You think something is hot and bam you got boner on your hands.
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Posted 6/28/15

Sogno- wrote:



this is what i think

in the end u do whatever u want as long as it doesn't affect me then i'm ain't gonna say a word to you. i dont care if u think u r a daytime left feathered owl. i'll stay out of ur business and u stay out of mine and we're good


I have to agree with this logic myself honestly. btw I'm a daytime left-feathered owl, we good tho right?

Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/29/15

anzn wrote:

I had taken it a few years ago.
I got equally heterosexual & homosexual. So, bisexual.
I thinks its a good test if you wanna know your sexuality.


I really disagree with the asexual one. Is't some much has you not being Not attracted to anyone sexually. Is more along the lines I need to sexually you first before I get arouse.

I remembers some psychologist talking about it. They say asexual person can watch porn and have arousal. But when they are with partner or somebody try to seduce them it does't work. The reason being that in their mind you are not attracted to nobody. Meaning they need a reason to get arouse. Meaning they need to associate with being sexsual to them.

Let me use my self example for this. My dad and his friend show me photos of girls butts. I a first was like meh and they were puzzle by it.
When I was able to find it attractive finally. It was because I associate it with being hot and among more embarrassing and complicate reasons.
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Posted 6/28/15 , edited 6/29/15

blzreaper7 wrote:

I know I'll get a lot of hate because I'm simple minded, but I only think there are 3 sexualities; Homosexual, Heterosexual, Bisexual.

I'm always surprised how many new sexuality pops up each year. My theory is that people take the main and twist/add.subtract to make their own sexualtiy that they feel fits them to either "fit in" or "stand out" For example, I've heard so many people claim Demisexual, and I had no idea what it meant, but reading what was posted at the beginning it sounds more like a loophole a lawyer would put into a business contract. I'm not sure, but I feel like a lot of people don't like to be labeled with the three "basics" and therefor find their own meaning, but then I'd have to ask why is it bad that you fit into one of the 3?


whats up im asexual and not straight, gay, or bi at all. i'm completely repulsed at even the thought of sex and don't ever want to do it. ever. I'm not trying to stand out, I can't help how I feel about these things.
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