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Post Reply Have you ever been cheated on?
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25 / M / Fort St. John, BC
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Posted 7/2/15
(This is actually my first post ever in ANY Forum...please, be gentle...)

With the mildly crude joke aside, all relationships get tested at one point. Its easy to say you are strong enough not to fall for temptation when you are in a normal environment but when the moment comes, you have to make a decision. University, for example, is a TERRIBLE place to be in a relationship (especially if the significant other is in a different one). Too many opportunities and just interactions in general. I have been both cheated on and been the cheater, I can honestly say that I could not control temptation when it was presented in front of me and I could easily spout off excuses as to why I did it and how the relationship was failing, but at the end of the day I have to be responsible for my own actions. Mind you, she was doing the exact same thing at the exact same time so wtvs.

That was 5 years ago and as terrible as it is to say, it still interferes with my day to day interactions with females. I still flirt like there is no tomorrow, but there are very few women in my life I can say I trust...and even then I cant say its much.

Relationships... nothing can make you feel so happy and yet make you so angry/upset at the exact same time.

Damn hormones.
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27 / M / ATL - GA
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15
They didn't have sex, but my first long term girlfriend did make out/get frisky with another woman when I was out of town once. Didn't find out until I broke up with her, so it wasn't a scarring surprise or anything.
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38 / M / Kansas
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Posted 7/2/15

Yamstarch wrote:

I feel you on that one brother, but ya can't keep feeling that way. I'll be 36 in a few months, but i still feel like i am in my 20s. Hell I still act like i am in my 20s.

I am an old school romantic even through all my failed attempts at love and relationships. Just gotta keep plugging away at it man. You can't lose faith in all women and relationships. If you get hurt, use that education to help further your next attempt. I just keep the faith that when I meet someone amazing, those past scars will fade away.

I mean this with all sincerity. I have walked in your shoes. I still plan on trying to be happy... One of these days.

Thanks for the encouragement! I honestly don't coonsider myself unhappy tho. In fact, if I go off of some of the married guys I know, I suspect that being single may even be the source of my happiness!
As far as acting like I'm in my twenties, I still occasionally go to concerts and mosh, but it seems to take a week to stop aching afterwards, so I sadly can't say I feel like my 20s!
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57 / M
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15
Yes, by my (now ex) wife. I'll stick to a waifu, now.
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27 / M / USA
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15
Yes, unfortunately by a girl I wasted 3 years of my life on.
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25 / M / Fort St. John, BC
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15

sXeLeo89 wrote:

Yes, unfortunately by a girl I wasted 3 years of my life on.


Feel for you man, 3 years is a decent amount of time for people in their late teens/early 20's. 3 years was the length of my relationship as well. There are probably worse feelings in the world but i would prefer not to experience those ever again.

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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15
Yup....
Not fun.
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38 / M / Kansas
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15

NomoeNo wrote:

(This is actually my first post ever in ANY Forum...please, be gentle...)

With the mildly crude joke aside, all relationships get tested at one point. Its easy to say you are strong enough not to fall for temptation when you are in a normal environment but when the moment comes, you have to make a decision. University, for example, is a TERRIBLE place to be in a relationship (especially if the significant other is in a different one). Too many opportunities and just interactions in general. I have been both cheated on and been the cheater, I can honestly say that I could not control temptation when it was presented in front of me and I could easily spout off excuses as to why I did it and how the relationship was failing, but at the end of the day I have to be responsible for my own actions. Mind you, she was doing the exact same thing at the exact same time so wtvs.

That was 5 years ago and as terrible as it is to say, it still interferes with my day to day interactions with females. I still flirt like there is no tomorrow, but there are very few women in my life I can say I trust...and even then I cant say its much.

Relationships... nothing can make you feel so happy and yet make you so angry/upset at the exact same time.

Damn hormones.


Welcome! Not the most pleasant way to start your forum-going experience, but consider yourself welcomed and your sentiments empathized.
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24 / M / St.Louis - USA
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Posted 7/2/15
Nope
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25 / M / Fort St. John, BC
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15

cleruninja wrote:


NomoeNo wrote:

(This is actually my first post ever in ANY Forum...please, be gentle...)

With the mildly crude joke aside, all relationships get tested at one point. Its easy to say you are strong enough not to fall for temptation when you are in a normal environment but when the moment comes, you have to make a decision. University, for example, is a TERRIBLE place to be in a relationship (especially if the significant other is in a different one). Too many opportunities and just interactions in general. I have been both cheated on and been the cheater, I can honestly say that I could not control temptation when it was presented in front of me and I could easily spout off excuses as to why I did it and how the relationship was failing, but at the end of the day I have to be responsible for my own actions. Mind you, she was doing the exact same thing at the exact same time so wtvs.

That was 5 years ago and as terrible as it is to say, it still interferes with my day to day interactions with females. I still flirt like there is no tomorrow, but there are very few women in my life I can say I trust...and even then I cant say its much.

Relationships... nothing can make you feel so happy and yet make you so angry/upset at the exact same time.

Damn hormones.


Welcome! Not the most pleasant way to start your forum-going experience, but consider yourself welcomed and your sentiments empathized.


Thanks man, appreciated. I am at the stage now where even tho the past has given me trust issues, I can joke about it and genuinely not care about what happened so its all good haha.

Life.
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38 / M / Kansas
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Posted 7/2/15 , edited 7/8/15

NomoeNo wrote:

Thanks man, appreciated. I am at the stage now where even tho the past has given me trust issues, I can joke about it and genuinely not care about what happened so its all good haha.

Life.

I think I know what you mean. There are certain memories which still sting, but once enough time passes and emotions fade, one tends to gain the objectivity to see why the relationships that failed were truly never meant to be.
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22 / F / Australia
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/8/15
Yes more than once actually, even in my current relationship I still wonder if he might I love him and I know he won't but just maybe there's a chance he is. I still look in the mirror and think "Why am I not good enough?" and I try to change so I can be better for him and I know he doesn't want me to and he always tells me I'm beautiful but words are just words, what if he's lying to me?
kwint1 
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22 / F / Australia
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/8/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:

Every relationship I had until the one I am in currently. 4 times that I can recall. Going on four years with my wife, and I'm pretty confident she won't cheat.

Either way, when I started dating my wife, I decided to put that baggage behind me, because I realized that every relationship I had been in had been sabotaged by paranoia caused from the first. Even if they hadn't cheated on me, my own paranoia would have destroyed the relationship.

Also, before getting with my wife, I realized that a lot of my problem was with who I was picking (or rather allowing to pick me). Not saying all women that are outgoing and approach the men are hoes. But, I will say, when they are outgoing and initiate things with you, they are likely to be a free-spirit and the paranoia I had stifled that... that's just asking for them to cheat. Not to mention, they WERE hoes. I had always been too shy to flirt with women or initiate convo. When I realized my weakness, I decided to put a conscious effort into A.) choosing more carefully and B.) actually approaching the women I was interested in.

Oh, and I was terrible in bed, due to reasons that were honestly beyond my control. Hard to get good at something you are very inexperienced at. My wife has given me ample opportunity to rectify that, which I have put to good use. ;)

Anyway, that concludes this session of the "Overshares of Holy Drumstick."

Cheers


Congratulations, sorry about your past but I hope you and your wife are happy together ^_^
kwint1 
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22 / F / Australia
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/8/15

The first one hurts believe me but a good relationship where you both completely love and trust each other is worth everything it took to get there
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/8/15

sXeLeo89 wrote:

Yes, unfortunately by a girl I wasted 3 years of my life on.


Shit man that must suck hard
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