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How surprised are people when they get to really know you?
Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/3/15
People seemed to get very surprised when they get to know me. Like, their first impressions seemed nearly way off to them. Most think I seemed like some sort of timid, innocent, and shy person. Also that I am way to nice for my own good.
I am apparently something similar to a two-face/fake person. (Can't think of the correct word) Like, my quiet & calm demeanor is actually some kinda ruse/facade.
I'm just selective with the people I wanna talk to, I don't wanna tell most people too much about myself or anything really, and I'm just not...I guess rude?
When I am around teachers, most adults, maybe certain peers, and ever any sort of authority, I'm just polite towards them. But I guess if you're polite or respectful to people, it means that you must like them & actually respect them, to most people.
It's just something I was taught to do, even if I don't like them.

Err I'm not sure how to describe it correctly. (Or if this even made sense)
Basically, I'm not this quiet, shy, & nice person a lot of people assume I must be.
Some people found that interesting, some found it shocking, and some found it sad & awful.

How about you guys? How do people react & feel knowing their first impressions of you seemed completely wrong to them?
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Posted 7/3/15
Substantially.
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Posted 7/3/15
There is a saying that every person has three faces: The face that you show almost everyone, the face you show your close friends, and the face that only you can see.

I would go as far as to say that everyone has at least one more: The face that they don't even allow themselves to see. Seeing it only comes with being completely honest with yourself. There are probably VERY few people who actually ever see this face.

Honestly, though, the amount of "faces" each person has probably varies...

My point is, this is actually a very natural part of life. Don't sweat it too much.

To answer your question, though. Most people immediately think I'm an asshole, because of my demeanor. That... and I have the male equivalent of "resting bitch face." Then, I'm very opinionated and not ashamed to share the opinions.... so that doesn't help. It takes a long time to fully understand me. I was asked just today, by my stepson, "Why don't you joke or play around with people." I explained to him that was just how I was, and he shouldn't take it personally, and that there are a lot of different types of people in the world. However, if you ever to get inside my inner circle, you'll understand my humor, and I will show it more... It is a strange humor, so many outsiders don't understand it. My stepson only see us every other weekend, so we're not as close as we would be if we had him full time.

Like, a conversation between me and my wife may go like this:

Me: "I swear, I'm going to punch you in the throat for that."
My wife: "You ain't gonna do shit."
Me: "No, but I'll damned sure threaten the hell out of you."

Totally in jest, and sometimes confused by other people. An example of that would be when the hostess at Cheddar's thought I was abusive when I told my wife "I may not be able to punch you in the stomach, anymore, because you're pregnant, but I know other places that don't leave marks." The hostess glared at me every time she seated someone near us, after that, and my wife still gets a kick out of telling the story.

For the record, I have never hit my wife, or any other woman...and have actually been physically abused by a woman. I don't say these things to make light of abusive relationships, at all. They are serious business, and my heart goes out to anyone who is or has been in one. BUT... me and my wife are comfortable in the security that neither of us will abuse the other, so for us, it is just good fun.

All of this is to say... people will make a lot of assumptions based on your appearance, etc... and it should not come as a surprise that they completely miss the mark a lot of times.

Cheers.
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24 / F / United Kingdom
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Posted 7/3/15
In college the other girls thought I was a rich snob who was secretly bitchy. One of them dreamt that I had called her a bitch, even.
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24 / M / San Francisco Bay...
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Posted 7/3/15
Don't really now. I prefer not to let people get too close to me, and never asked the few who do if they're surprised about who I am.
Posted 7/3/15
Hm, they just tend to comment on how talkative I am than when we first met.
Posted 7/3/15
They don't like it when I admit my faults, makes them insecure because they're not able, willing, or ready to do so.
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35 / F / windurst
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/3/15
They arent. I look quiet and shy and I am quiet and shy *^*
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33 / M
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Posted 7/3/15 , edited 7/7/15
They flip out as soon as they find out that I'm OVER 9000!
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17 / F / CT
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Posted 7/3/15
Theyre actually surprised that I can talk to them. Usually in class I dont speak to people I dont know that well. If someone I dont know that well speaks to me I usually have this serious look on my face, its just that I'm really nervous talking to people that I dont know well. People also get this impression that I'm a very serious type of person and i'm a snob, I dont voice out my opinion that much in class unless i'm talked too. I guess people see me as sorta closed off and I come off as a bitch. Around friends I guess i'm the opposite and I talk allot and just a different person. It depends on how well I know a person before I can start talking to them openly.
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27 / F
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Posted 7/3/15

Zoraprime wrote:

Don't really now. I prefer not to let people get too close to me, and never asked the few who do if they're surprised about who I am.


This. I hold everyone at arm's length nowadays, too.

I've been shown one time too many that letting anyone get close just ends up with me getting abandoned.

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25 / M / USA
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Posted 7/3/15
-How about you guys? How do people react & feel knowing their first impressions of you seemed completely wrong to them? -

The Enneagram test claims I am a peacemaker which = Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them. Consequently the peacemaker can become any of the other types temporarily often.

It's been a few years since high school, and I go to a technical college so there isn't much social interaction. My work has nice people but they are too old to be casual friends, my old work has nice people but the work was too far away for me to want to drive out there every time to hang out with any of them, plus the fact that we never became actual friends.

I think I put off a strange vibe the first time I meet people so I never really got past the first impressions with most people. I think I could be an awesome friend if given a week's chance, or something more then work or school interactions. But I also don't like to drink so I've been to bars to drink probably a total of 8 times or less.
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21 / F / Southern US
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Posted 7/3/15
I may come across slightly quieter than I actually am, but it can't be drastic. I am pretty quiet around anyone save for in a few instances when the mood to rant strikes me.

Most of the surprise comes from learning a few things about me rather than an apparent shift in behavior. Some things about me are pretty heavy for most people.
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25 / Ikemen next door
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Posted 7/3/15
Extremely surprised!
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22 / F
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Posted 7/4/15
super surprised, they think I am so blonde innocent white girl, haha ok

many Chinese live where I am and they don't think I understand their language or culture........hahaha suprise ~
many boys think I suck at mathematics or computer science....hehe suprise
suprise I am 21, not a fuking 11 yr old girl!!!!!!!!!! stop flirting with me if u think I look 11 wtf!!!!!!!!
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