Post Reply Some advice for Webcomic
70715 cr points
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26 / M / California
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Posted 7/7/15 , edited 7/8/15
So I've been writing this comic since October last year.

Due to school and family and such I've been having a hard time finding time to draw.

What do you guys do?

Also, if anyone has any feedback on my art, it would be much appreciated. (^^;;)


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Posted 7/8/15
Wow, so I wrote a whole review with tips and advice and then accidently refreshed and lost it. But here goes again: Round two.

The panel layout is pretty simple but it works well with the scene you have. I would maybe consider varying the angles of people's bodies more. They all seem to be straight forward or straight to the side which can become bland. I like the first panel a lot, it seems very dynamic but it can be pushed further.
One way to do that (and what I personally do with "crash" scenes) is to break the border of the panel with something, whether it's flakes of debris or sound effects.
You use sound effects pretty well too, I would say though, and I understand why you did it, that having effects in both languages fills the page and makes it seem cluttered.
A lot of people leave the effects in Japanese and then put some a caption like " *crash!!! " with the asterisk between panels to indicate what the Japanese characters mean. This might free up your panels a little bit.
One thing that I also notice is how white the page is, this gives it a very uniform feel. It may be helpful to add in tones that help separate foreground and background and add a little bit of dramatic emphasis on where you place them as well. But you can break up the "whiteness" of the page in other ways too, the last panel stands out well because of the swabs of black on his jacket.
Finding spaces and creases to use more black would probably help you. It would serve to fill the page up in a way that doesn't make it seem cluttered. The backgrounds especially would benefit from solid groups of gray or black, as they are now the mark making that is used to detail the objects in the background blend to well with the markings made to signal shadows in the hair.

There is a lot anyone can critique about pretty much any art but some of the more important things you seem to have a hold on.
I can not stress this part enough: When you make your characters define them by more than clothes and hair, USE FACIAL FEATURES.
Readers may not be as conscience of it but the arcs that branch out at the bottom of the demon girl's eyes help define her character as much as the horns! They really giver her, her own personality. The other two character have the same type of eyes though which detracts from their own characters.
Line variation is pretty much make or break in manga. You show a real start to it in the first panel especially and slightly in the last one. I assume this is because the other panel's are smaller which makes it more difficult. But trust me on this one, finding ways to fit it in will help you leap forward. Look for filling shadows and bends in characters with thicker lines and it will help them pop.

Overall the most important thing you are already well on your way to: Doing it.
If you did this page you know how hard drawing can be, so just keep drawing and you are guaranteed to improve. I can't say anything about the story and I can only offer so much critique from this one page, but the fact that you got in there and drew it out shows a lot of determination that is going to bring you results. So good job on it! Post a link when you finish the story!

Really hope I am not coming off as harsh, just trying to relay all the things I wish people would have told me (or at least the one's that apply to your picture) Best of luck!
70715 cr points
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26 / M / California
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Posted 7/8/15
Thank you for the feedback! I used to do toning but its really tough since I dont have a tablet. I also don't really have access to too many types of tones. Line variation is something I've been trying to get better at but I do all of this with a G-Pen so I'm having difficulty with pressure amount, especially on the smaller panels.

The sound effects are something new I'm trying. I usually just used english text but this time around I wanted to try to add some japanese sounds.

To be honest, I'm not a very good artist so I have a hard time being more dynamic (^^;;)

Here is an example of an earlier page that used tones.



...That awkward moment when you realize that you forgot to finish up a characters kimono design...
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