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Post Reply Cultural Isolation and the Anime/Gaming Fandom.
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21 / M / McDonough
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Posted 7/13/15
Being well-rounded isn't necessarily a good thing. Most people have something that they are intensly interested in and talk about more than anything else. Some art, some sports and some politics etc. I had a fairly broad range of interest throughout high school so it was rather easy to strike up a conversation with anybody about almost anything. Though I quickly learned that despite having an advantage in being able to talk about anything, I never knew as much about a particular subject as the other person. It made for rather one-sided conversations which I quite frankly didn't mind, I enjoy listening to others more than I do talking. But it made conversations pretty dull pretty quick when you don't have a similar extent of knowledge in a subject. Seeing as they have their few interests that they know well and have no desire to talk about things outside of that range.

You could take this as me running into the problem described in the OP, or you could see this as a quality over quantity kind of deal. Personally I see it as the latter.

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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 7/13/15

anzn wrote:


pandrasb wrote:


anzn wrote:

Edited some mistakes:
I used to be the same way.
I was such a little anti-social atheist/nihilistic weirdo who hated literally everyone outside of the internet and my Japanese anime's & video games.
I only listened to video game & anime osts as well.
I would talk shit about people who go out on parties, drink, smoke weed, like popular music artists, facebook, twitter w/e.
People like that are so boring, closed-minded and shallow. They hate the world and everything in it besides their Japanese anime's & games or nerdy shit in general.
They're closed off & rejecting of others because they feel no one would understand them, make fun if them, and/or reject them. When its really the opposite.
THEYRE the ones who decided to immediately think that way about everyone not like them. Then reject them from their interests alone.
People really don't care or mind their interests. They'd be glad to have a nerdy friend or two actually.

Most of my friends nowadays aren't that into any nerdy stuff (or not as much as me anyway). That includes both online & offline (IRL) friends.
They're some of the most closed minded, self-entitled, bratty, uninteresting and rudest group of people I've ever met.
I'm so glad I got out of that. (And now I'm those people they talked shit about. lmao it feels better though)

Sorry I kinda went off on a rant.
I just hate nerd culture so much.


sorry this kinda struck me as funny since you on CR and what not. Nothing wrong with hating nerd culture and being on CR at the same time, just funny.

only peeps I make fun of since, straight edge

I don't have that internet mentality. Where things are either the best or worst thing ever and its absolutely perfect/flawless or just plain trash literally me or no one else should enjoy.
I'm not limiting myself to nerdy stuff any longer.
I can still like nerdy stuff, I just need to realize what's bad/wrong about it & not try to deny that and defend it just because I like it.


no sarcasm
Don't get me wrong, I think you're right in choosing "people who go out on parties, drink, smoke weed, like popular music artists, facebook, twitter w/e." and "I'm not limiting myself to nerdy stuff any longer. I can still like nerdy stuff" I think you're correct on both. Even your hatred of nerd culture isn't misplaced. You're completely right, keep doing what you doing, yo. Props for realizing that nerd culture is self destructive. Even NEET and Hikimori and Otaku.

I'm not contradicting myself on my previous comment, I genuinely just found it funny, I find humor everywhere.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 7/13/15 , edited 7/13/15
"Talk less about the gaming stuff you like, it's not as attractive, talk about other stuff you like a bit more! Guys like that stuff."

The worst fucking advice I have ever gotten. I gave my cousin the look that expressed that very thought. She has gone through dating about 4-6 guys now, I starting to see why she isn't having much luck.

Here's the thing: You shouldn't give a single damn about what anyone else thinks when it comes to your interests. You don't have to be social, and that's a problem with some of you people understanding. To be happy, you don't have to be social. Shocker I know.

It's judgmental to think that anyone that spends a lot of time on their interests and hobbies leads a lonely life. It's completely untrue. Everyone is different, and there is a happiness found in simplicity and even isolation.

In high school, I had anxiety and depression. I had a small group of friends and branched out my interests. Despite having a social life and multiple interests, I was miserable. I felt completely out of place. No one noticed a thing, not even myself. I didn't know what was wrong. I just felt wrong. I felt like my life had no color. I'd lay on my bed for hours and stare at the ceiling devoid of energy.

Into college I had acquired fantastic friends online I've known for over 5 years now. We talk almost every single day, we drink, we text, we call, we play games together, we argue and we even watch movies. I have never been as happy as I am now despite putting in a ridiculous amount of hours into gaming, because now I have learned to accept and love myself through the support of those friends of mine who have done more for me than any friends offline ever have.

Friends and family can help support you, but your happiness is only found in loving yourself. Some people feel like they have to be 'normal' and act 'normal' in order to feel happy, and it's completely unfounded. The only thing that ever has to change is your own mindset. If what you're doing isn't working for you, try something else. Otherwise, if you're happy, don't stop. Don't give a fuck about what people think about your life. The only opinions that ever matter are those that care and love you. No one can tell you what will make you happy, only you can do that.
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18 / M
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Posted 7/13/15

pandrasb wrote:


anzn wrote:

Edited some mistakes:
I used to be the same way.
I was such a little anti-social atheist/nihilistic weirdo who hated literally everyone outside of the internet and my Japanese anime's & video games.
I only listened to video game & anime osts as well.
I would talk shit about people who go out on parties, drink, smoke weed, like popular music artists, facebook, twitter w/e.
People like that are so boring, closed-minded and shallow. They hate the world and everything in it besides their Japanese anime's & games or nerdy shit in general.
They're closed off & rejecting of others because they feel no one would understand them, make fun if them, and/or reject them. When its really the opposite.
THEYRE the ones who decided to immediately think that way about everyone not like them. Then reject them from their interests alone.
People really don't care or mind their interests. They'd be glad to have a nerdy friend or two actually.

Most of my friends nowadays aren't that into any nerdy stuff (or not as much as me anyway). That includes both online & offline (IRL) friends.
They're some of the most closed minded, self-entitled, bratty, uninteresting and rudest group of people I've ever met.
I'm so glad I got out of that. (And now I'm those people they talked shit about. lmao it feels better though)

Sorry I kinda went off on a rant.
I just hate nerd culture so much.


sorry this kinda struck me as funny since you on CR and what not. Nothing wrong with hating nerd culture and being on CR at the same time, just funny.

only peeps I make fun of since, straight edge


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OSnAPxyMzo
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Posted 7/13/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

"Talk less about the gaming stuff you like, it's not as attractive, talk about other stuff you like a bit more! Guys like that stuff."

The worst fucking advice I have ever gotten. I gave my cousin the look that expressed that very thought. She has gone through dating about 4-6 guys now, I starting to see why she isn't having much luck.

Here's the thing: You shouldn't give a single damn about what anyone else thinks when it comes to your interests. You don't have to be social, and that's a problem with some of you people understanding. To be happy, you don't have to be social. Shocker I know.

It's judgmental to think that anyone that spends a lot of time on their interests and hobbies leads a lonely life. It's completely untrue. Everyone is different, and there is a happiness found in simplicity and even isolation.

In high school, I had anxiety and depression. I had a small group of friends and branched out my interests. Despite having a social life and multiple interests, I was miserable. I felt completely out of place. No one noticed a thing, not even myself. I didn't know what was wrong. I just felt wrong. I felt like my life had no color. I'd lay on my bed for hours and stare at the ceiling devoid of energy.

Into college I had acquired fantastic friends online I've known for over 5 years now. We talk almost every single day, we drink, we text, we call, we play games together, we argue and we even watch movies. I have never been as happy as I am now despite putting in a ridiculous amount of hours into gaming, because now I have learned to accept and love myself through the support of those friends of mine who have done more for me than any friends offline ever have.

Friends and family can help support you, but your happiness is only found in loving yourself. Some people feel like they have to be 'normal' and act 'normal' in order to feel happy, and it's completely unfounded. The only thing that ever has to change is your own mindset. If what you're doing isn't working for you, try something else. Otherwise, if you're happy, don't stop. Don't give a fuck about what people think about your life. The only opinions that ever matter are those that care and love you. No one can tell you what will make you happy, only you can do that.



"Talk less about the gaming stuff you like, it's not as attractive, talk about other stuff you like a bit more! Guys like that stuff."


Not what im saying. My point was that banality of topics tends to turn people off. Not that you should limit your conversations to what is socially acceptable but that you should approach people with a wider range of topics.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201409/the-9-ways-boring-people-can-bore-you


Here's the thing: You shouldn't give a single damn about what anyone else thinks when it comes to your interests. You don't have to be social, and that's a problem with some of you people understanding. To be happy, you don't have to be social. Shocker I know.


I agree with all of that accept the last part. Social interaction is very helpful to people. Im not saying one should be a social butterfly but maintan at least a couple friendships. Dont give a shit what others think about what you like I dont care what people I know think about my taste for Throbbing Gristle and interest in Serial Killers. My point isnt "what you like is bad and not socially acceptable" but you should have a wide range of topics you like. One of my friendships started almost entirely because me and the other kid found we both shared a taste in really fucked up creepy disgusting shit and we loved talking about it with each other.


In high school, I had anxiety and depression. I had a small group of friends and branched out my interests. Despite having a social life and multiple interests, I was miserable. I felt completely out of place. No one noticed a thing, not even myself. I didn't know what was wrong. I just felt wrong. I felt like my life had no color. I'd lay on my bed for hours and stare at the ceiling devoid of energy.

Friends and family can help support you, but your happiness is only found in loving yourself. Some people feel like they have to be 'normal' and act 'normal' in order to feel happy, and it's completely unfounded. The only thing that ever has to change is your own mindset. If what you're doing isn't working for you, try something else. Otherwise, if you're happy, don't stop. Don't give a fuck about what people think about your life. The only opinions that ever matter are those that care and love you. No one can tell you what will make you happy, only you can do that.




I had the same experience in my Junior High years and contemplated suicide. Im saying this knowing alot of miserable people who cant connect to anyone outside of what they like and have trouble interacting with people. Im not here to tell you how to live your life.
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Posted 7/13/15
I feel like anime is isolated by those outside of it, not those inside.
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18 / M
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Posted 7/13/15

Jas_Sedai wrote:

I feel like anime is isolated by those outside of it, not those inside.


Not what im saying you can have the same problem in any other medium or interest. Im not into normal socially acceptable stuff and probably never will be but I realize that being solely devoted to one thing is not healthy for me.
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26 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 7/13/15
Sorry but I think you are stereotyping. People that don't leave their house or have a hard time being social is because they are introverted by nature not because of anime or video games.
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Posted 7/13/15

Jas_Sedai wrote:

I feel like anime is isolated by those outside of it, not those inside.


But if you want anime/manga to be accepted culturally you have to meet culture half way and apply and connect knowledge of culture to anime/manga.
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Posted 7/13/15

Kira0309 wrote:

Sorry but I think you are stereotyping. People that don't leave their house or have a hard time being social is because they are introverted by nature not because of anime or video games.


Where did you get that anime/gaming was the fault for why these people didnt go outside. Its a problem I see arise in "nerdom" alot the interest in question could be anything.
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Posted 7/13/15
I don't think you understand. people like and want to talk about anime but if they do they are usually talked down to. it's not seen as a thing an adult (or teenager really) should do, which leads to them being socially isolated and turning to the internet. telling them to do something else and stop being "solely devoted" is foolish. Let people like what they like, stop pushing your insecurities on the entirety of the anime/gaming communities
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 7/13/15 , edited 7/13/15

megahobbit wrote:





Not what im saying. My point was that banality of topics tends to turn people off. Not that you should limit your conversations to what is socially acceptable but that you should approach people with a wider range of topics.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201409/the-9-ways-boring-people-can-bore-you


I agree with all of that accept the last part. Social interaction is very helpful to people. Im not saying one should be a social butterfly but maintan at least a couple friendships. Dont give a shit what others think about what you like I dont care what people I know think about my taste for Throbbing Gristle and interest in Serial Killers. My point isnt "what you like is bad and not socially acceptable" but you should have a wide range of topics you like. One of my friendships started almost entirely because me and the other kid found we both shared a taste in really fucked up creepy disgusting shit and we loved talking about it with each other.



I had the same experience in my Junior High years and contemplated suicide. Im saying this knowing alot of miserable people who cant connect to anyone outside of what they like and have trouble interacting with people. Im not here to tell you how to live your life.


Social integration isn't always important to people. Isolated lifestyles aren't entirely wrongful. Have you ever heard of Henry David Thoreau? Wonderful writer, I assure. He isolated himself and there is a marvelous self exploring experience within it.

"I am no more lonely than a single mullein or dandelion in a pasture, or a bean leaf, or sorrel, or a horse-fly, or a bumble-bee."

"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.”

It's not wrong to be isolated, it's wrong to be unhappy and isolated.

You don't need a wide range of topics. The depths of ourselves are revealed naturally with closeness and trust. An open mind is all you need and the willingness to do for your friends what you would seek from them. You don't have to like their interests, but if a friend who has done so much for you wishes for you to take time out to enjoy his/her interests, you should do so. Not because you enjoy those interests as well, but because it is wise to treat friends and any other how you wish to be treated.

It's okay not to have a wide range of interests, but if you're forcing yourself to do so, it's not honest to others or yourself. Open mindfulness is not the same as forcing yourself to to become more 'well rounded'. Exploring is good and an open mind are good, however becoming something we're not is not well or fruitful. It is best to dispose of people in our lives who cannot understand our person at our deepest levels.

If what you mean is to have an open mind and the willingness to try new things, I agree. However, if it is to find more interests so we can become more suitable friends, I heart fully disagree.
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Posted 7/13/15
Here comes the butt hurt fans who've been hit by a reality check.
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Posted 7/13/15

Jas_Sedai wrote:

I don't think you understand. people like and want to talk about anime but if they do they are usually talked down to. it's not seen as a thing an adult (or teenager really) should do, which leads to them being socially isolated and turning to the internet. telling them to do something else and stop being "solely devoted" is foolish. Let people like what they like, stop pushing your insecurities on the entirety of the anime/gaming communities


THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING. ANIME/MANGA HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PROBLEM. I ONLY BRING IT UP CAUSE THIS PROBLEM ARISES IN THE COMMUNITIES.

Your hobby could be anything. Im not into normal socially acceptable shit. In fact in comparision to my interest in cult leaders, serial killers and avant garde music, my anime/manga fandom is among one of the most normal things I like. Of course talking about anime/manga is fine I do it all the time. But the problem I see is so many people can only talk about this. Expand your topics. And I say this once again a better understanding of culture will let anime and manga be analyzed and accepted more. Bring more discussion of the cinematic language into anime and manga.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201409/the-9-ways-boring-people-can-bore-you


Banality. "Talking about trivial or superficial things, being interested in only one topic, and repeating the same stories and jokes again and again."
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Posted 7/13/15

PrinceJudar wrote:


megahobbit wrote:





Not what im saying. My point was that banality of topics tends to turn people off. Not that you should limit your conversations to what is socially acceptable but that you should approach people with a wider range of topics.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201409/the-9-ways-boring-people-can-bore-you


I agree with all of that accept the last part. Social interaction is very helpful to people. Im not saying one should be a social butterfly but maintan at least a couple friendships. Dont give a shit what others think about what you like I dont care what people I know think about my taste for Throbbing Gristle and interest in Serial Killers. My point isnt "what you like is bad and not socially acceptable" but you should have a wide range of topics you like. One of my friendships started almost entirely because me and the other kid found we both shared a taste in really fucked up creepy disgusting shit and we loved talking about it with each other.



I had the same experience in my Junior High years and contemplated suicide. Im saying this knowing alot of miserable people who cant connect to anyone outside of what they like and have trouble interacting with people. Im not here to tell you how to live your life.


Social integration isn't always important to people. Isolated lifestyles aren't entirely wrongful. Have you ever heard of Henry David Thoreau? Wonderful writer, I assure. He isolated himself and there is a marvelous self exploring experience within it.

"I am no more lonely than a single mullein or dandelion in a pasture, or a bean leaf, or sorrel, or a horse-fly, or a bumble-bee."

"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.”

It's not wrong to be isolated, it's wrong to be unhappy and isolated.

You don't need a wide range of topics. The depths of ourselves are revealed naturally with closeness and trust. An open mind is all you need and the willingness to do for your friends what you would seek from them. You don't have to like their interests, but if a friend who has done so much for you wishes for you to take time out to enjoy his/her interests, you should do so. Not because you enjoy those interests as well, but because it is wise to treat friends and any other how you wish to be treated.

It's okay not to have a wide range of interests, if you're forcing yourself to do so, but it's not honest to others or yourself. Open mindfulness is not the same as forcing yourself to to become more 'well rounded'. Exploring is good and an open mind are good, however becoming something we're not is not well or fruitful. It is best to dispose of people in our lives who cannot understand our person at our deepest levels.

If what you mean is to have an open mind and the willingness to try new things, I agree. However, if it is to find more interests so we can become more suitable friends, I heart fully disagree.


I fucking hate Thoreaus writing for the record. Romanticism is among the worst classical literature has to offer.


If what you mean is to have an open mind and the willingness to try new things, I agree. However, if it is to find more interests so we can become more suitable friends, I heart fully disagree.


Than we agree then. Friends are just one aspect of it. I dont think you need alot of friends just 1-2 good ones. Dont try and conform to a preconceived societal standard. Show society your not that standard. Your not just a "gamer" or an "anime fan" but a wide range of many interests a human being. Im a weird guy who is self admittedly clinging to a outdated punk rock philosophy of being anti-society. But understand the society you live in at the very least.
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