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Post Reply Long distance relationship?
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28 / F / Washington
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Posted 7/25/15
I met my husband on Wow. I am in Washington state and he was in Massachusetts. He sold all his possessions and took his tax return and bought a plane ticket and made it up here. It's been seven years now. We have been married for five. It does work, but really you can sit there and ask people if it works but really you won't know until you try. Like others have said, everybody is different. I am a success story. Maybe it was a rare thing, maybe it wasn't. Both of us are extremely loyal people, and we both "worked" because we have a strong friendship. We played together, watched movies together, video chatted, listened to music together and had dinner dates over video chat. If you really want to make it work, you will find a way. I firmly believe you need a strong friendship first before it will work though.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 8/7/15 , edited 8/7/15
I'd say it's possible, but you have to be careful.
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23 / M / England
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Posted 8/8/15
It's not for everyone, and no ones saying its as easy as being physically close to the one you like, but its not impossible.
I've known many people stick it out and eventually move in together, despite the distance.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15
It is possible my relationships have always been with people over the net and not people in my town (the girls here are urgh)

the longest one ended due to well...she was a feminist and as much as i tried to not let her shit get to me between that and the controlling abuse she had i ended it for good

I just got in another relationship with a friend i met online many years ago (never seen them in real life flights are pricy )
and i'm so happy hopefully it will last longer and forever

But it is possible if your willing to put in the effort trust is mandatory though.
People who say its stupid to fall for someone you met online or date someone a country away are close minded bigots for as far as i am concerned .
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15

furytime wrote:

I believe it's impossible. I've tried and of course I was cheated on. In today's society I am not sure if you can actually trust people enough.


PFF you gave up just because the first woman you dated long distance cheated.

That's funny as someone who has been cheated on long distance 5+ times i can tell you it's definitely hard but in a way its better because you know for sure in the end if the person is loyal
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15 , edited 8/8/15

Morbidhanson wrote:

They're very hard, especially if your partner was overseas, 13 hours away by plane. I couldn't even do half a year, so I have no idea how people manage 3 years or to even make it work.


Simple trust compassion love and hard work.

The emotional and social needs can be filled in even though there is distance.
Physical needs not so much but there are solution to that sadly some people use it as an excuse to cheat.



I Think to date long distance you need to be mentally strong
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15 / M
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Posted 8/8/15 , edited 10/1/15
Nope. I can't stand them after past experiences.

Posted 8/8/15
I'll say the common thing. A long distance relationship isn't a relationship. It is a promise of one.


I think it could work, as in you'll eventually be together in a stable relationship. But you have to have plans. You can't be sex buddies a few times a year by flying out to see them. One or both people will get bored/lonely and it is inevitable one will stray. IF you plan to actually get a job where the other is for example: I can move out there in 9 months and meanwhile I'll look for a job there ---------- I think it can work.

Relationships are about trust, but I think if your relationship is almost entirely trust based on how few times a year you see them -------- it probably can't work. The reason is - people that actually want a good relationship could just find a kind and confident person locally and often when they "date" an online person, they find someone more conveniently located.


PS
The other example is if two people in a serious relationship are forced to be long distanced - I answered from a two people met online perspective as this is getting more and more popular. There may be more examples, but those are the main ones I care enough to talk about.
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27 / M
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Posted 8/8/15

Jillshadow wrote:

I met my husband on Wow. I am in Washington state and he was in Massachusetts. He sold all his possessions and took his tax return and bought a plane ticket and made it up here. It's been seven years now. We have been married for five. It does work, but really you can sit there and ask people if it works but really you won't know until you try. Like others have said, everybody is different. I am a success story. Maybe it was a rare thing, maybe it wasn't. Both of us are extremely loyal people, and we both "worked" because we have a strong friendship. We played together, watched movies together, video chatted, listened to music together and had dinner dates over video chat. If you really want to make it work, you will find a way. I firmly believe you need a strong friendship first before it will work though.


My money is on at least one of you is a psychopath/sociopath.
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M / PH3NF1X
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Posted 8/8/15

Ohshc3rd wrote:

Is it possible to have an actual relashionship with someone that dosen't live next door or close enough to see him/her every day?

If you have cutes stories of long distance relashionship i'd like to ear about it too!

Because recently i've meet somebody but he live pretty far from where i live. And my bestfriend just can't shut up about the "fact" that it's an imposible kind of relashionship.



I did it for about a year to a year and a half. Let's be realistic here this is a long distance relationship right & not be a fantasy setting... seeing someone every day would hard to if you could picture your other half being over 130 miles away you think that's possible? consider personal space, travel expenses and money, food etc

Can you use a spell checker next time you post a topic?

You don't have to live 30 minutes away from someone to date them or to be romantically involved with them, try 3 to 4 hours away.

It can work, only if you can put the effort in and receive it back both ways.
Just realize everyone needs space from each other, they don't want to see your face every single day. Just like you wouldn't want to hang out with the same friend for a whole month every day would you? even on the days were you didn't want to but still did.

Take things slow.
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23 / M / Ohio
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Posted 8/8/15
While you be textin and skypin, guys like me be swoopin in and stealin ya gurl.

Lol, but really though, long distance is not a good way to go. It's very easy for you both to get tired of not being able to physically be together. If you start an online relationship, I wouldn't plan on it remaining that way for longer than a month or two. If you really like each other, then you need to hang out in person asap before that original feeling of attraction fades.
Posted 8/8/15
I had long-distance relationship for 2 years before I moved to join him. We are now going on 6 years and we are married. It's doable. Really hard, but when you both give it your all it can work.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15

RisingPheonix758 wrote:

I used to have a long distance relationship story to tell u... I was in England and she was in America her name was Hayley, we both had the same interests e.g.. Anime, music, videogames. U name it we both liked it. One day she told me that she would meet me at ____ location. Over the last month I'd spent my days waiting in the dead of winter.

Hayley didn't show...
Eventually I confronted her and it turned out that she was ment to meet with another dude that lived relatively near by. I fell into a pit of despair and a stage of depression, started to hack away at my arms until the bright red substance called blood dripped from my arm. The bullying at my school didn't help either.

My advice is pretty much the same as these guys, I personally would stay away from long distance relationships but if u can truly trust and have commitment and they show the same affection uve got a good relationship.



Dang that's bad :/ well i nearly commited suicide so you can say you did A OK!
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15

Rikunamatata wrote:

I'll say the common thing. A long distance relationship isn't a relationship. It is a promise of one.


I think it could work, as in you'll eventually be together in a stable relationship. But you have to have plans. You can't be sex buddies a few times a year by flying out to see them. One or both people will get bored/lonely and it is inevitable one will stray. IF you plan to actually get a job where the other is for example: I can move out there in 9 months and meanwhile I'll look for a job there ---------- I think it can work.

Relationships are about trust, but I think if your relationship is almost entirely trust based on how few times a year you see them -------- it probably can't work. The reason is - people that actually want a good relationship could just find a kind and confident person locally and often when they "date" an online person, they find someone more conveniently located.


PS
The other example is if two people in a serious relationship are forced to be long distanced - I answered from a two people met online perspective as this is getting more and more popular. There may be more examples, but those are the main ones I care enough to talk about.



That's more of an opinion then a truth i see long distance relationships as a relationship not a promise a promise doesn't make up for the importance.

Your saying that peoples feelings would waver if they found someone local and that they would get bored if you never meet for a long time.


That's a load of bullcrap in my opinion feelings like that don't just change and sure it's lonely but it's worth it i dated my ex for 3 years and was about to visit her before we broke up not once do i regret that relationship.

Long term plans are needed of course but 9 months? thats unreasonably short be more realistic 4-10 years at most if you can't wait that long to be next to the one you love you shouldn't be in a LDR.

You speak as if a physical presence is needed for a relationship to work and that a couple couldn't live a country away for years and be a happy couple.

This is wrong being there physically is nice but it is not needed it does not devalue your love by them or you not being there at any second.




Most people are not cut out for it without physical contact or sex they get bored and veer off and to be honest.....those types of people are the types i don't want to be around let alone date.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/8/15

Devourer51 wrote:

While you be textin and skypin, guys like me be swoopin in and stealin ya gurl.

Lol, but really though, long distance is not a good way to go. It's very easy for you both to get tired of not being able to physically be together. If you start an online relationship, I wouldn't plan on it remaining that way for longer than a month or two. If you really like each other, then you need to hang out in person asap before that original feeling of attraction fades.




The feeling of attraction isn't going to fade if you stay into contact or if those feelings are true there is no need for physical contact for some of us.

Long distance is great in my opinion and sure it gets lonely but it's worth it.

If you get into an LDR chances are you can't visit let alone move for 3-4 years in my experience and do you know what that's worth all the time.



If any girl or guy is worth keeping they won't stray or fall for other guys the need for physical contact won't be an issue if they are worth it that's why most LDR'S fail ..people are not mentally strong enough to cope or deal with it.
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