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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was mentally ill?
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

BlueOni wrote:

Man, that would be a tough one. With the delusions, paranoia, difficulty initiating tasks and following them through to completion, disorderly thought patterns, and hallucinations a person with schizophrenia might be fully convinced you two had a fight you never even had, or that you cheated with someone who doesn't even exist (which is not to imply visual hallucinations, which I know don't happen in schizophrenia, but rather more paranoid delusions). And I'm not trying to be funny, either. Those are some of the challenges I could conceive of for a relationship with a person with schizophrenia. Another would be that the difficulty figuring out a proper medication and dosage scheme (and then difficulty getting them to stick to that scheme) would, in addition to the frustration of trying to successfully medicate them, pose a major challenge for their holding employment. All couples argue about money, and I'd imagine that would be severely exacerbated by a person with schizophrenia's added challenges for producing it (though they can).

It's not his fault, of course. I'm not blaming him for his schizophrenia. But this sort of thing is part of the schizophrenia package, and it's a lot to deal with for everyone involved.


It wasn't as bad as it could have been, while we were together he was actually taking his medication. That said, he was a little scary sometimes. Even though his anger and resentment was rarely directed toward me, he would get so mad sometimes that he'd talk about smashing in the face of the next person he saw. Once he came around he would apologize and reassure me that he would never hit me. That was the thing that bothered me the most.


Dariamus wrote:


scoobydew wrote:
Everything you say is here is so true I am divorced for going on three years but I still love my ex wife just wasn't enough to stay married she needed something more to keep her happy. I can except that today but I was a believer that love conquers all and it doesn't you cant make someone else happy doesn't work long term.


My wife was my best friend for years before we started dating.

That friendship is what keeps us going when things get rough.



This is exactly it. As the Harry Belafonte song goes: "House built on a weak foundation will not stand, oh no." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdsKu21hV4I)
Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

anzn wrote:


kiri_ wrote:
But not all of us mentally ill people are rollercoaster rides.
Some of us are quite stable.

Stable due to meds in my case ://

Sometimes I feel worse than people who are bipolar or something.
Because people like never see any breakdowns/panic attacks/anxiety attacks I get. It just seems completely unexpected. Unless I'm having those rare times when it happens like everyday for at least a week lol

I don't want to scare ppl off, but we really are not crazy or unstable all the time.


I'm stable too, and I've passed the dramatic stage.
I don't let anyone see the fact that I have problems,
usually I just ask to be alone for a few days.

If I scare people off, then that's their problem.

And you are right, we are not crazy
and we are not unstable all the time.

People throw around bipolar all the time
without knowing it's true meaning
and having never felt it.

I have Bipolar II w/ Psychotic Features,
meaning I have depressive mood swings
and see and hear things, but I don't
let that get me down anymore.
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21 / F / Michigan
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Posted 7/28/15
I dated a guy a couple years ago who was dealing with severe paranoid schizophrenia. It was a rather difficult and complicated relationship, something I'm not sure I was ready to handle. The whole relationship was like a rollercoaster--we had really good days and then really bad days. He ended up having a bad breakdown and voluntarily went to an institution to seek help. We agreed it was best for both of us to break up, and we still remain friends to this day. He doesn't really talk about it, but I know that his schizophrenia is getting worse.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/28/15
I have a mental illness and to date someone else with a mental illness is too much for both of us. So no.
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15
Sorry, no one wants a problem

(I have issues too, just sayin)
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30 / M / Portland, OR
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Posted 7/28/15
The love of my life up to this point was bipolar, so yes. We worked really well together, but eventually she just decided I was too good for her, and I couldn't convince her otherwise. She moved away, and I lost all contact.

You'd like to think the suicide attempts she'd put me through were the hard part, but they weren't really, I could always get her out of those.
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Posted 7/28/15
My favorite partner that i've ever had was schizophrenic with Manic Bipolar Disorder. True that there are some difficulties that you wouldn't find with other relationships, its just one of those things where if you love them, you try to understand. The fact that my mother also suffers from MBPD did help me sympathize with some of the problems they would have, and eventually we grew close enough that there was no discomfort between us. But they would go off and do crazy things on their own and end up getting hurt and it was putting a very heavy strain on things. Breaking it off with them was one of the most difficult things i've ever had to do. But it ended for the best, and although i'm fairly certain they detest me now, i know they understand. I'd rather be the bad guy that have them think that they did anything wrong
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Posted 7/28/15
My dad suffers from depression and has tried to commitmsuicide a couple of times.

I've never had a relationship with anyone who has been diagnosed with any condition, though we all have certain ticks that would probably be quantified as a mental disorder...or, at least according to Sigmund Freud.
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27 / Naked in a pine tree
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

Kitahoshi_Hazel wrote:

One of my ex-boyfriends was schizophrenic. He is a really sweet and compassionate guy, but I should have listened when he told me that he was a bad boyfriend.

When the relationship finally ended it was a mercy to me, whose mental health had suffered considerably. I was young and I thought love could solve every problem. I learned through the experience that people don't break up or divorce because they stopped loving each other necessarily. Romantic relationships are about more than love. As a result, I took some time to recover myself and ended up meeting my husband.

So as a note to the rest of you: Love is not enough! Good relationships with any person are built on a solid foundation of trust, communication, and respect. Love is merely the icing on the cake.


Haha yeah good luck getting a scizophrenic to trust anyone during one of their bouts of mania. It's impossible, they'll even freak out in fear of their own parents. People with that disorder have their brains designed to fail at love life, because as you said, they cannot trust anyone, even if they are compassionate.

In short

They. Are. Screwed.
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15
I want somebody who's rock solid emotionally. I don't want them to be iffy, I want them to have the emotional strength of steel.
Obviously I also want them to be compassionate, loving, generous, cheerful, happy, and spectacular at avoiding potentially bad situations as well. I want every positive trait in the book really.
Sorry if I'm out of place here. Just saying.
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27 / Naked in a pine tree
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

Tsukiou wrote:

I dated a guy a couple years ago who was dealing with severe paranoid schizophrenia. It was a rather difficult and complicated relationship, something I'm not sure I was ready to handle. The whole relationship was like a rollercoaster--we had really good days and then really bad days. He ended up having a bad breakdown and voluntarily went to an institution to seek help. We agreed it was best for both of us to break up, and we still remain friends to this day. He doesn't really talk about it, but I know that his schizophrenia is getting worse.


Lol he probably agreed to break off the relationship with you because he was so messed up in the head that he believed that allowing you to break up with him was akin to finalizing a contract to stop your elite ninja organization from coming to poison his hospital food.

In that sense, I bet he was super relieved.


Nobodyofimportance wrote:

I want somebody who's rock solid emotionally. I don't want them to be iffy, I want them to have the emotional strength of steel.
Obviously I also want them to be compassionate, loving, generous, cheerful, happy, and spectacular at avoiding potentially bad situations as well. I want every positive trait in the book really.


Date someone whose recovered from severe mental illness then. Anyone with enough emotional and mental strength to tame a severe mental illness and make it their personal bitch is obviously going to have a LOT more psychological poise than someone whose never been through that sort of hell.

Though, what you're looking for simply does not exist. Women have these things called hormone changes you see, and they have a lot more of them than guys, and so a consistent emotional foundation doesn't really exist there, or in guys for that matter.

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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

netdisorder wrote:
Date someone whose recovered from severe mental illness then. Anyone with enough emotional and mental strength to make a severe mental illness their personal bitch is obviously going to have a LOT more psychological poise than someone whose never been through that sort of hell.


For some reason I don't believe you. I don't have any reason to disbelieve you, but I'd think severe mental illness would tend to be recurrent. (and potentially genetic, apparently)
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Posted 7/28/15

Nobodyofimportance wrote:


netdisorder wrote:
Date someone whose recovered from severe mental illness then. Anyone with enough emotional and mental strength to make a severe mental illness their personal bitch is obviously going to have a LOT more psychological poise than someone whose never been through that sort of hell.


For some reason I don't believe you. I don't have any reason to disbelieve you, but I'd think severe mental illness would tend to be recurrent.


I don't care about what you believe or don't believe, and you couldn't be more wrong, not all mental illness is life-long/recurrent. Schizophrenia being one that a decent % of individuals tend to age out of if it is adult onset.
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15

netdisorder wrote:
I don't care about what you believe or don't believe, and you couldn't be more wrong, not all mental illness is life-long/recurrent. Schizophrenia being one that a decent % of individuals tend to age out of if it is adult onset.


K, sentiment returned.
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26 / F / North Carolina
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Posted 7/28/15 , edited 7/28/15
Huh, I never really thought about it that way before but I actually have.

My first BF had issues. A lot of issues. Of the family, school, and general sociopath kind. I never pried too deep into the extent of his problems because he was relatively harmless.

Also had an online thing with a guy who dealt with depression and admitted to me that he nearly committed suicide.

... thinking about it further two of my biggest crushes in high school (who also happened to be my friends) were also kind of on the "will be in need of therapy if they even make it to 30" side... huh.

I think you might have given me something to seriously think about anzn.
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