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Post Reply I just don't have anything to live for. (Not a Suicide Thread)
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21 / F
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Posted 8/11/15 , edited 8/11/15
ztdz:

Yeah and I don't like when people brush off other people's problems by saying "it could be worse, be thankful for the material you have." Stop talking like you're someone who knows what it's like to live in those kind of conditions.

I'd give that up for friends to talk to and someone to love and be loved by.

The point of this thread was not me "feeling sorry for myself" , I'm trying to figure out how to fix myself. From your post though, I get the feeling you didn't read the post thoroughly.

I have been trying to make friends and everytime I try things end up not working.

It ended up so badly one time that I can't trust people's genuinity to this day.

The only friendships that worked were ones where people approached me for the most part .

My suicidal thoughts don't come from the rejection of one person. They come from the collective isolation and ostracization I have experienced through my entire childhood, and not having close ties with my family, the people who are supposed to be "all you have."

You don't know me at all. I constantly thank God for all that I do have and I hate that I feel the way I do, but brushing it off as you said doesn't work for me. I've tried it many times believe it or not, Yeah, it doesn't work. I want to solve my problems, because I care about myself and I'm not going to stop trying to work through my problems because there are bigger problems in the grander world.
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26 / M / Romania
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Posted 8/11/15

ztdz wrote:

i dont wanna be rude by being serius you make angry i dont wanna hurt you but you are an idiot because I hate people who feel sorry for themselves you dont have probles you live in a house you have money to pay crunchyroll so stop complaining if you dont have friends is because you dont want it is because you think bad of them and dont even aproach them i have problems too but when i thing how stupid my problems are like the girl i like reject me i feel happy for those stupid problems there are people out there that will die for having your problems so the solution is to just do it like nike jajaj but for real you want friends try to get them if you don get anyone what do you lose you only try again and look for someone you dont have a boyfriend the same a friend of mine once said that he has suicidal thoughts becouse his girlfriend left him i hit him is not a joke i really hit him and he thanks me for that well im getting out of the topic so the conclusion is stop compaining and be happy i hope i doesnt hurt you but i want you to think about it



Sorry for my english


Not to be a grammar Nazi or anything, but... English aside, there is no punctuation in this block of text. None.
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Posted 8/11/15

wststreet wrote:


ztdz wrote:

i dont wanna be rude by being serius you make angry i dont wanna hurt you but you are an idiot because I hate people who feel sorry for themselves you dont have probles you live in a house you have money to pay crunchyroll so stop complaining if you dont have friends is because you dont want it is because you think bad of them and dont even aproach them i have problems too but when i thing how stupid my problems are like the girl i like reject me i feel happy for those stupid problems there are people out there that will die for having your problems so the solution is to just do it like nike jajaj but for real you want friends try to get them if you don get anyone what do you lose you only try again and look for someone you dont have a boyfriend the same a friend of mine once said that he has suicidal thoughts becouse his girlfriend left him i hit him is not a joke i really hit him and he thanks me for that well im getting out of the topic so the conclusion is stop compaining and be happy i hope i doesnt hurt you but i want you to think about it



Sorry for my english


Not to be a grammar Nazi or anything, but... English aside, there is no punctuation in this block of text. None.


*sigh*
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Posted 8/11/15 , edited 8/11/15
I have been in a similar enough situation.

When I was 17, a couple months away from 18, I got pneumonia. I missed the last month of school and ended up in the hospital, not only because my body was physically so weak that I could barely function, but also the fact that among all that I suffered a mental break in the process. Almost everyone left me, especially after I had the courage to admit I was at the hospital before being dragged into a place without technology. I said. A lot of things I regret, but I cannot remember. While I'm not exactly the most open book I later found out I had a personality disorder that caused those events to make better sense. I'm not saying that was the resolution to everything. I'm not some illustrious idol who survived living in my own personal hell and I still have thoughts and episodes, but what nobody realizes is that in spite of this I am far better than I used to be. When I was thirteen I was so sick I was threatening to KILL people.

The physical and mental repercussions from the pneumonia episode admittedly set me aback and unfortunately my feelings from that time still plague me, betrayal and the desire to destroy it all just to get some sort of sick satisfaction that I let them down even more, so maybe "now they'll pay attention 2meh" really just makes you feel like crap over anyone else you try and make feel like crap. But the sad thing is that I really feel that I've ruined any chance at a relationship with all of them or at least a few of them that for their own good are definitely too fairweather or iffy for me nowadays which is sad because they were the ones I once trusted the most.

Sometimes I feel even now like I sit in an echo chamber where I keep saying hi, but nobody says hi in response, and I'm encased in that confined space, forever surrounded by my echo that no one else wants to hear, the echo that won't venture outside that box.

First, move out of the house where people are treating you poorly and fueling your self loathing, anger, and suicidal feelings. This is easier said than done if you live with a manipulator or people who'll give you scrutiny for it. I know. My mother was abusive and her unstable behavior was made even worse by me just being there, the only upside is that my father came back, I told him what was happening, and I was luckily able to live with him after long, long discussions about my arrangements. It may not come overnight, but get out as quickly as YOU feel you can. People like that are not a healthy support system, don't be friends with fairweather, or downright nasty people. And if anyone starts to act that way towards you, then BLOODY get rid of em, they will hurt you.

As for everything else, it does not come easy either, change is a harsh wind, but don't think you have to rush all of this. Consult a therapist or find a friend you *feel* you can trust, not just one who will dump you on a dime and use you. There're bad people out there, learn to avoid them for all they are worth, but also remember that there are good people. Not everyone is masked, not everyone is also plain and perfect either, but if you make new "friends", and they begin to hurt you, don't feel guilty for abandoning them.
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Posted 8/11/15
HA! Right X?! Don't bother bro, ain't gonna happen with that dude.
Definitely feel where your comin from Girl, I raised myself from age 7 up. Had to learn how to do everything by myself. Don't reach out to them, my advice to you. They are the same now as they were then, take it from experience. You'll feel differently later, just don't set your hopes high that they will mature as well as we will. They haven't been there, they haven't done this and they never fuckin will. You 'must' repeat must always appreciate the fact that despite your surroundings made it to where you are. Pride is essential to our survival.

Just ask my man from Mechanicville. Tell em i'm lieing X.
Posted 8/11/15 , edited 8/11/15
I feel like this a lot of the time.
I wish I can say something to help you but even I can't even find myself a solution to this.
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Posted 8/11/15
As someone who was once depressed, I can kind of feel your pain. I grew up with no parents, I was once a drug addict, my past is stained with an immoral incestuous relationship and I have been involved in multiple violent conflicts. I can tell you one thing. Convert to Christianity, specifically orthodoxy. Once I did my life has gotten 500x better, I have a better relationship with all of my family members, and every morning for me is great, because I know god has a plan for me, just like he does for you.
Posted 8/12/15 , edited 8/12/15
I understand your though.

I don't mean to post something depressing but I am going to post a little about me. You are not alone!
I feel the same way.

My life has just been a mess. Growing up I had a shitty life and now I am just a broken human. I feel so alone all of the time even though I usually Skype with my friends every night. I always have suicidal thoughts and almost went through with it on my birthday last month but I've decided to try to live. I don't really have a future myself. I can't get a foothold in life and it's just so depressing.
I want a future and a life and someone I could care for but I just can't do it.
I am not going to post my whole story but just know people have similar thoughts as you. I have no hope myself and I feel alone. It's truly a terrible feeling.

I hope you do find something to live for though.
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Posted 8/12/15
Awwww cmon Fury, it can't be that bad, I saw the talent in Louisiana when I worked there. We need to get you to few strip joints and hand you a fist full of 10's. (sorry i got a kid i aint rich pal) Then we'll see what you think when you wake up the next mornin!
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Posted 8/12/15 , edited 8/12/15
All I do is work doubles everyday to afford a place to live and watch anime. I've never had something to live for, I just exist. My best friend is dead so I don't really do much now. My mom has advanced stage cancer. What is life. I guess I live for money. Who knows.
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Posted 8/12/15
keep postin shit like this and im gonna blow up your cellphone with bible verse spam
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23 / F / LA, USA
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Posted 8/12/15
Uh no. Keep your bible far away from me yo
Posted 8/14/15

ChemicalPrincess wrote:

All I do is work doubles everyday to afford a place to live and watch anime. I've never had something to live for, I just exist. My best friend is dead so I don't really do much now. My mom has advanced stage cancer. What is life. I guess I live for money. Who knows.


I love this quote. Describes me perfectly.
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23 / F / LA, USA
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Posted 8/14/15

thestars201 wrote:


ChemicalPrincess wrote:

All I do is work doubles everyday to afford a place to live and watch anime. I've never had something to live for, I just exist. My best friend is dead so I don't really do much now. My mom has advanced stage cancer. What is life. I guess I live for money. Who knows.


I love this quote. Describes me perfectly.


I'm not a creative writing major for nothing lol
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22 / M / Nope Town
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Posted 8/15/15
I hate to say this.... but most advice on here is really bad...

I mean sure I personally am not much better since I have a bad habit of being a shut in and recluse when I am depressed, but that never stopped me from going out and having a beer when I feel like it. Interestingly enough I tend to prefer solitude even though I get lonely. Yes I have been depressed for years and am still dealing with it but I still don't consider it worth dying for. What helps me is living out my passions and talents, even though my depression keeps me from doing so. I recommend you find something you like to do and stick with that. Ironically for me it meant always discovering new things because I get bored easily. Oh and about finding friends... if you suffer from social anxiety, push yourself. Continually expose yourself to your fear, and slowly but surely you will get over it. Oh and there is no use crying over spilled milk. Complaining doesn't help but worsens the situation. If you really want things to change you got to take matters in to your own hands ond do right by you.
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