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Post Reply Parents who teach their child that only grades matter
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 8/20/15
My parents pushed for good grades. I'm alright now, but wasn't really when I was younger. I'm the oldest of five so I suppose I got the brunt of it back then.

Although, I inevitably was punishing myself more than they were though. They just wanted our best though and they're happy with that. They'd only ask if we thought we tried hard enough. I've been fortunate to have good parents.

Posted 8/20/15 , edited 8/20/15
Uh... How many kids have actually been raised up like this... Only to get awesome marks... And then to screw their parents over... And then to screw up their part of society?

Smart villains... Bad parenting........
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Posted 8/20/15 , edited 8/20/15
thats so asian thing
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18 / Shit Orb #3
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Posted 8/20/15 , edited 8/20/15

alvhinne wrote:

thats so asian thing


My mom's asian but my white dad is the one who gets on me about my grades. My mom just wants me to pass.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 8/20/15

alvhinne wrote:

thats so asian thing


Its true with anime Main Characters always study until they pass out or mentally break like so many shows have this theme almost a normal behavior wtf?no sorry that's whacked need to watch anime between studying and maybe have a girlfriend maybe?
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40 / M / USA
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Posted 8/20/15 , edited 8/20/15
With the childhood I had and the environment I lived in, education was the only way out for me if I wanted even a decent chance at a future worth living. My parents encouraged me to make the best grades I could, but growing up in the ghetto and seeing my parents struggle for so long and those around me was all the motivation I needed. When people are dying around you and no one gives a shit, everyone is flat broke and just scrounging by and the police are just as bad as the gangs you'll take any chance you can get to get out. I already had a high IQ as it was, but that doesn't mean a damn thing if you're lazy or have no opportunities. I ended up finishing at the top of my class all through high school and top 2% in college. If it wasn't for all that motivation I never would've gotten out of that hell hole. Grades are highly important for your future, but it is true they aren't everything. A lot of things can factor into your life with some of them out of your control.

If a parent is teaching their kids that grades are the ONLY thing that matters, then that child will probably end up like a "sheltered" kid and face repurcussions later on in life when they go out in the world. You've got to have a balance, but you also need to do your best for your future.
Posted 8/20/15
Stress & unhappiness
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18 / M / The Mothership
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Posted 8/20/15 , edited 8/20/15
I want to say this grades are important but they're not everything although a degree will look good but what use is it serving if you're stuck at McDonalds with student loans to pay off I'm not saying to skip college but a good education doesn't guarantee success even though it makes the probability more likely of a good car, good home and good a paying job. If I have kids one day I want to instill this into them not only this but also the importance of life skills like dealing with everyday situations and people they don't know there is more to life than books and a GPA. And what good will education serve if you can't talk to people because in my opinion having life skills is just as important as having good grades and I want to make a point the people in my neighborhood could give 2 fucks about grades and that is why I think knowing how to deal with people of different backgrounds is important. Now I'm not saying to go off and say fuck school I'm dropping out that's definitely what I'm not saying get your education but at the same time know how to deal with everyday problems and people and don't lose your mind over letters on a piece of paper because grades are not worth your sanity, health and life.
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Posted 8/20/15
I never pushed my children about grades, but if I thought you weren't putting forth the effort, (which really never came up),then I would have acted.3 of my children did exceptionally well academically and 4 did reasonably well.
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Posted 8/21/15 , edited 8/21/15
Where I grew up in the Caribbean anything that wasn't an A was considered to be a fail. I recall getting some B s and C s which was good coming from an A stream school. My grandmother told me I'd failed.

My grades depended on my moods. If I wasn't too happy they'd go down from the usual A. Parents and grandparent just expected the A s, I wasn't threatened to achieve the best nor was I bribed like some others whose parents wanted them to do well. It was just assumed I'd do well and that every child in the family would do well.

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F / New York
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Posted 8/21/15
since parents are always pushing children to get good grades the kid might decide to copy a classmates work to get good grade
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22 / M / AZ
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Posted 8/21/15
In the end...Its just a letter. High Grades don't automatically equate so success.
Posted 8/21/15 , edited 8/21/15

scoobydew wrote:


alvhinne wrote:

thats so asian thing


Its true with anime Main Characters always study until they pass out or mentally break like so many shows have this theme almost a normal behavior wtf?no sorry that's whacked need to watch anime between studying and maybe have a girlfriend maybe?

Asian-American girls (spefically from around the ages 15-24) have the highest suicide rate out of all the races of girls in America.
Gee I wonder why.

Asian parents seem like they are so extra about grades I swear.
Posted 8/21/15
My mom just wants me to pass but sometimes for certain stuff she's like "Ok wtf is this??? How are you making a C in math??"
(I've always gotten A's in math since it was my best subject since grade school btw)

So if I get lower than a B in subjects I'm normally good in or just really easy like PE or something, she flips.
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18 / F / Croatia
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Posted 8/21/15
That's a bad thing to teach your kids. Grades matter, but you can't always give your best. It causes a lot of stress. I remember being sad after getting an occasional C in Elementary school. I still don't like them, but I'm not going to be sad because of such a silly thing. Shit happens.
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