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Post Reply I read a lot of opinions saying that women are encouraged to express emotions freely, but I find that laughable.
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19 / athens, greece.
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Posted 8/24/15 , edited 8/24/15
Here let me edit it, lol.


I read a lot of opinions saying that women are encouraged to express emotions freely, but I find that laughable. What emotions do you feel that you can't express publicly (or even people you are close to)? Any reason why? --

Emotions that I don't express publicly, and still hardly ever to people I'm close to:

Sadness: Let's be real, the only time I ever cry is locked in my room with my face smothered by my pillow. Unless someone died or something, tears in public would not be well received by anyone, even friends (they would feel awkward). And let's not pretend that the negative connotation behind "don't be such a girl" is lost on women. Tears are largely seen as a weakness in society and it's not as if women want to be seen as weak. And helllll yes have I heard guys and girls talk shit about women crying over something they considered insignificant.

Anger: Honestly, I think this emotion is belittled so often that I'll only express it to someone who would be angry with me. I think being angry at something can easily turn into "she's crazy" if it's not something people deem ok to be angry at. Outrageous medical bill? That's ok. Catcalling? Only tell people that will be angry with you if you don't want people to tell you that you're overreacting to something harmless.

Jealousy: Come across as insecure or the catch-all term, "crazy"? No thanks. Keep to self/pretend not to feel.

Depression: Very, very, very few people will actually be willing to help others through this. Everyone else is inconvenienced and you're a debbie downer. When I feel depressed I just deal with it on my own.

Really, on any given day I think I go through a mixture of fake smile, real smile, and venting minor irritations to friends. Even in the last case, there's a weird double standard because other women are supposed to be the support system that we're so lucky to have, but at the same time we're often demonized for complaining to our friends.
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22 / M / New York
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Posted 8/24/15
wat.

All I know is "Women + Any emotion = ???".
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 8/24/15
Long topic title, what are you asking?
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 8/24/15
Why bother hiding emotions as a guy i cry all the time when i'm sad
Posted 8/24/15 , edited 8/24/15
Yeah pretty much.
Emotions in general are looked down upon & its sad.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 8/24/15 , edited 8/24/15
Well if anyone knows about emotions it'll be me. I can't hide shit, so congrats to yah lucky fuckers that can.


Oh good you got the edit in. I don't feel like I should publicly cry especially on the job.

Too bad I don't have a choice. I do anyway. I've tried everything, even bit my lip enough to scar for awhile.

So all that happens is-

"Are you crying!?"



"No I'm not."

No one ever buys it.

Very embarrassing but I can't help that I feel all my bullshit to the nth degree.
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27 / M
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Posted 8/24/15 , edited 8/24/15
Emotions are not looked down on. That's a little general. People seem to only focus on the "good" ones, though. Like happiness, for instance. Emotions alone are without meaning or significance.

But I don't think happiness or any other emotion or the expression of them is the most important. It is better to do things that are meaningful than to do things that simply make you or others happy. Happiness should be a by-product of some things you do, like every other emotion. Things you do need not make you happy or angry or sad. They can, but they don't have to. So express those emotions if they are meaningful.
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19 / athens, greece.
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Posted 8/24/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

Well if anyone knows about emotions it'll be me. I can't hide shit, so congrats to yah lucky fuckers that can.


Oh good you got the edit in. I don't feel like I should publicly cry especially on the job.

Too bad I don't have a choice. I do anyway. I've tried everything, even bit my lip enough to scar for awhile.

So all that happens is-

"Are you crying!?"



"No I'm not."

No one ever buys it.

Very embarrassing but I can't help that I feel all my bullshit to the nth degree.


Yea, I completely agree. I've always felt immensely private about crying in public- especically since you're automatically taken less seriously/assumed to be PMSing and any other number of things, which just adds to the humiliating aspect.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 8/24/15
Compare to men woman invented the word emotions
Posted 8/24/15
I don't have emotions so this isn't rly a problem but my boyfriend does like the other day he was crying that he couldnt see me this weekend idk about u guys but ppl crying over stuff that may seem petty tho is cute anyway.
!!!
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 8/24/15
Women have too many emotions. Men don't have enough.
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21 / F / Earth
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Posted 8/24/15
I know for me, at least, I'm very private as a person, emotions especially. So when I see others who freely express their emotions, it does kind of freak me out a bit.

Though, I suspect a part of it might just be trust. It's hard to really be comfortable expressing emotions around someone you don't have a certain level of trust with. There's a sort of vulnerability shown when any emotion is expressed openly, because emotions are a kind of communication, and by expressing them, you open yourself up to a response that can be either negative or positive.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 8/24/15

saksiss wrote:

Women have too many emotions. Men don't have enough.


Men are from Mars and Women from Venus
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25 / M
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Posted 8/24/15 , edited 8/24/15
It's not really a double standard if men aren't encouraged to express their emotions in public either. Unless I've fundamentally misunderstood something about what you're trying to say.
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 8/24/15
Emotions aren't all private. I find that when I'm with other people, I'm far more in tune with the general atmosphere of those people than what I'm feeling myself; I don't think that makes those emotions any less legitimate. That's why so many people are put off by public displays of emotion. Emotion is contagious, and people want to be happy, so naturally, being around unhappy people can be stressful. For the same reason, we're concerned with the emotional well-being of others, but we usually the the path of least resistance; if we can't cheer someone up, we opt to give them time (which generally works better anyway), and get back to being happy.

Speaking for myself, I'm loath to let my "personal" emotions show in public. While I'm not the type to be readily affected by things, when I am feeling an emotion particularly strongly, I isolate myself. I know I'll be a nuisance by publicizing my emotions, and I personally don't feel as though my emotions are an important enough part of me that other people need to know about them. I enjoy them vicariously in private through fiction (and even then, I'm feeling for other people - and not even real ones), but that's my highest recognition of that aspect of myself - I treat my emotions as a toy, basically. Even during my isolated emotional outbursts, I find that I can enjoy myself by thinking of myself as a separate person and looking at the scene as I would a piece of fiction.

So yeah, I'm definitely one of those people who will be uncomfortable around anyone crying or yelling. From my point of view, there's no real reason to publicize that kind of thing, but at the same time I realize that I don't take my emotions nearly as seriously as some other people do, so I try to temper my instinctual irritation with understanding. I might be completely out of my element trying to relate to a visibly emotional person, but it's not as if I'll think worse of a person for it, and in the end, I just want them to be happy. I know that to some, that way of thinking would probably seem insincere or apathetic, but I stand by it, because it's how I've always been, and the only way I know how to be.
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