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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/18/15
So... I kind of think those who say "just put yourself out there, the worst that can happen is rejection" are unfamiliar with the rejection scale.

It goes from "1 - Sorry, I have a BF/GF." to "10 -Ewww, kill it with fire!"

My guess is that those who think that rejection isn't that bad probably has only dealt with a 1-4 rejection. Just a guess.

Personally, I've been at a wide set of fitness, so I've dealt with just about every one. What really irritates me is when it isn't even warranted. Like, b*tch I just wanted to get the time, no need to pull out the mace. That can really beat down the self-esteem.

Anyway, what do you guys think? How hard have you been rejected? What irritates you the most? Do you even bother putting yourself out there anymore?
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
I had my heart crushed many, many times. Almost always with the same rejection, "Your a nice guy, one day you'll meet the right girl."

I got to the point that when the right girl did come along, I was unable to acknowledge her as more than a friend for several years. Today we can laugh over it, but it was a serious issue at the time and she nearly gave up trying to get me to notice her.
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24 / M / St.Louis - USA
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Posted 9/16/15
I make good decisions, so I've never been rejected.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
Never been rejected, 'cause I never really had interest in a guy enough to initiate. I've rejected quite a few though. Most are 1's, some were probably 2's.

Though to be frank I rejected one guy and he called and texted me for an entire year afterward with no response.

Another did the creepy thing after rejection and instead of sitting in his usual seat in class, he would sit directly behind me.



Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
You sound jaded. Like really jaded.


Super jaded.


Not every woman will like you. Most won't. Learn that, move on.

Edit: I've learned this though. Women, even if they don't like you like that, will always take greatly to a man who smiles. Also, don't look at every woman you meet as "my next girlfriend" or "my soon to be wife". Talk to them, not through them. I've had women tell me they can tell when you're clawing for her to be romantic and 99.999% of the time it backfires.
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Posted 9/16/15
I think rejection on any level is hard. It's also difficult to reject someone's advances, there is no nice way to reject someone. Even saying "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested." Is tough. Rejection all around is uncomfortable for anyone I think.
Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
I'm fairly shy and can come across as really cold [till i get excited about something funny and then i'm usually childish lol] so i don't get to ask out much but then i don't get asked out much.

Actually OP, maybe it's a tsundere. [the unwarranted rejection] Keep trying >:D at least, you'll just piss them off lol
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Posted 9/16/15
Bro my boyfriend of 4 years fucking cheated on me last week and i feel so fucking depressed about it and ill i wanna do is go crazy with anger but im finding it very hard to keep myself clam
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
I would like to insert 0.5 (It could be you, but not now) into the scale. I have both given and received (even though I wasn't asking) that one in some form once each.

I've never really put myself out there... To be honest I'm a bit hard on myself (in a positively charged way, mostly)

I suppose the reason is "This isn't even my final form." I'm stubborn and I don't want to move forward without unlocking my potential.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/18/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

Never been rejected, 'cause I never really had interest in a guy enough to initiate. I've rejected quite a few though. Most are 1's, some were probably 2's.


You seem like a really nice girl, one day you'll meet the right guy

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Posted 9/16/15
I got rejected once and only once because after that I decided to never ask anyone out again. his answer was something like "no, sorry" so it was a 1/10 but for me it felt like a 10/10.



I wanted to break the double standard that men are the ones who ask the women out. I deeply regretted it. Haha.

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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

yuummmmy wrote:

I got rejected once and only once because after that I decided to never ask anyone out again. his answer was something like "no, sorry" so it was a 1/10 but for me it felt like a 10/10.



I wanted to break the double standard that men are the ones who ask the women out. I deeply regretted it. Haha.


Trust me, I understand how even the gentlest rejection feels., but you did the right thing.

I talked my daughter into asking the guy she was interested in out. Just over a year later they are engaged.

Bavalt 
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/17/15
I've never really "put myself out there", so I've never been rejected. I usually don't like someone well enough to seriously think of them romantically until after the point where it would be weird to change the relationship. Of the very few crushes I've had, they've all been on close friends, and the risk just wasn't worth the reward.

I don't think I've overtly turned anyone down before either, though I've deflected people who've shown interest in me, and have been oblivious to the interests of others, only to realize in retrospect that they were trying to flirt. I think I was very much the "dense protagonist" type when I was younger, and I was pretty averse to dating in general.

As for now, I think getting into a relationship would be self-destructive. I'm at a low point financially and professionally, and I owe it to myself to put that right first. Romance would obstruct those efforts by eating my time.
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24 / M / florida
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/17/15
it is better to take the chance then regret never taking it.

Why linger on something that will never be? rejection does hurt today, but clinging hurts today tomorrow and the day after until it is dealt with.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

Bavalt wrote:

I've never really "put myself out there", so I've never been rejected. I usually don't like someone well enough to seriously think of them romantically until after the point where it would be weird to change the relationship. Of the very few crushes I've had, they've all been on close friends, and the risk just wasn't worth the reward.


All of the women who rejected me were close friends, all the rejections were gentle, and all the friendships survived. I never pushed the issue after being rejected. I could never have a close relationship with someone I was not good friends with first. It did not make the rejections less painful, but it was never the girls fault.

Two of the girls that had rejected me helped my wife plan how to get my attention. That did wind up destroying our friendships. There was no way my wife would be capable of watching me talk to a another girl I used to have feelings for. She'd known both of them since middle school

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