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Posted 9/16/15

AiYumega wrote:

You sound jaded. Like really jaded.


Super jaded.


Not every woman will like you. Most won't. Learn that, move on.

Edit: I've learned this though. Women, even if they don't like you like that, will always take greatly to a man who smiles. Also, don't look at every woman you meet as "my next girlfriend" or "my soon to be wife". Talk to them, not through them. I've had women tell me they can tell when you're clawing for her to be romantic and 99.999% of the time it backfires.


Haha, I'm married, man. Actually, I was a little irritated by something today, like I said... it pisses me off when I'm NOT interested, but they jump to that conclusion. In this case I was approaching someone to ask a question, they saw me walking up, showed disdain and put earphones in. That's just bitchy.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

Dariamus wrote:

You seem like a really nice girl, one day you'll meet the right guy



Aw thanks! I actually did. I rejected him too.



He stuck around though. We were just friends when I rejected him. He took it badly at the time. After that though we were best friends for years and then something more for years after. Still hoping we can make things work out.







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Posted 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:

So... I kind of think those who saymeantthetthe yourself out there, the worst that can happen is rejection" aretried rapingfamiliar with the rejection scale.

It goes from "1 - Sorry, I have a BF/GF." to "10 -Ewww, kill it with fire!"

My guess is that those who think that rejection isn't that bad probably has only dealt with a 1-4 rejection. Just a guess.

Personally, I've been at a wide set of fitness, so I've dealt with just about every one. What really irritates me is when it isn't even warranted. Like, b*tch I just wanted to get the time, no need to pull out the mace. That can really beat down the self-esteem.

Anyway, what do you guys think? How hard have you been rejected? What irritates you the most? Do you even bother putting yourself out there anymore?


How does anyone even get above a 1.... I rarely actually ask girls out but when I do get rejected it's always a 1 kind of excuse. But how the heck doesssomeone get more than that? I mean the only way I'm seeing is if you tried asking random girls for sex. or tried raping someone -_-
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Posted 9/16/15

AiYumega wrote:

You sound jaded. Like really jaspoke allyper jaded.


Not every woman will like you. Most won't. Learn that, move on.
trying to talk to meit: I've learned this though. Women, even if they don't like you like that, will always take greatly to a man who smiles. Also, don't look at every woman you meet as "my next girlfriend" or "my soon to be wife". Talk to them, not through them. I've had women tell me they can tell when you're clawing for her to be romantic and 99.999% of the time it backfires.


Dude that happened to me on LoL lol. There was this girl I was trying for last year and then idk I gave up so I just started acting like an uninterested friend when we spoke next. Then right after that she got super interested for like no reason and kept trying to talk to me and was even willing to wait out a 30 minute leaver timer to play with me (because I was trolling ranked).

I was a little irritated tbh
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/17/15
I've rejected and been rejected. It's part of life. It's awkward, painful even. Sometimes you can learn a lot from it either way.
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Posted 9/16/15
I only get rejected by the girls I actually try to get with, meanwhile other girls I can get by being brazen and goofy, normally I get the, "I view you as a brother and I don't want to ruin that." Yeah, that will completely ruin that, always such a BS easy-out.
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Posted 9/16/15

lambofgenesis wrote:
How does anyone even get above a 1.... I rarely actually ask girls out but when I do get rejected it's always a 1 kind of excuse. But how the heck doesssomeone get more than that? I mean the only way I'm seeing is if you tried asking random girls for sex. or tried raping someone -_-


How have you not?

I've had more than one girl just look at me and say "Eww" when all I did was ask if they wanted to have coffee or something.

Like I said, been a long time, because I'm married now. More or less, what bugs the shit out of me now is getting that same attitude when I have no intentions of even going there. It's like, damn, I'm so bad you don't even want to RISK me being interested in you. LOL

Honestly, though, this is usually more a reflection on the women than me. That they think so highly of themselves to begin with is just sad.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:


lambofgenesis wrote:
How does anyone even get above a 1.... I rarely actually ask girls out but when I do get rejected it's always a 1 kind of excuse. But how the heck doesssomeone get more than that? I mean the only way I'm seeing is if you tried asking random girls for sex. or tried raping someone -_-


How have you not?

I've had more than one girl just look at me and say "Eww" when all I did was ask if they wanted to have coffee or something.


Never, but I never tried to date a girl I was not friends with.

Now, if your talking about picking up a random girl at the bar for a one night stand - I've been rejected harshly more than once, but there was no emotional involvement. /shrug and move on. Or just find a girl that takes cash; made things simpler and everyone knew what the expectations were. (When younger, I spent a lot of time in countries where prostitution was either legal or the laws were not enforced. Given how introverted I am, bar girls were my best answer. The woman of my choice for the evening, never a chance for rejection. I knew a few that were really sweet and always remembered my name.)

Posted 9/16/15
Have not been rejected harshly, so -1. I feel like people are afraid of hurting me...? They just say things like, "We're not meant to be" or some random nice shit, when I'm the type of person who appreciates honesty more than sugarcoated words.

I wish someone would say to me, "You're an ugly piece of shit", then I would feel better because I would have a good reason to give up.


A few people in real life have called me cute.../handsome... which gives me a little hope. But here's the catch, they're mostly old men or men I find creepy and weird... (not weird in an artistic sense, but weird in like... the gatekeeper from Harry Potter 1st movie kind of way, the guy that owned the cat).

So of course I have my doubts; like I still think I'm ugly to a majority of gays...
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:

Haha, I'm married, man. Actually, I was a little irritated by something today, like I said... it pisses me off when I'm NOT interested, but they jump to that conclusion. In this case I was approaching someone to ask a question, they saw me walking up, showed disdain and put earphones in. That's just bitchy.


Did you two exchange words which indicated this is why she was expressing disgust, or did she simply glower at you as you approached and don her headphones to indicate she didn't want to talk to you? If it's the latter she could've simply been having a bad day and didn't want to speak to anyone, she could've simply been antisocial, she could've already been bothered a few times before you got to her while doing something important, it could've been anything if you didn't actually exchange words.
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Posted 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:


lambofgenesis wrote:
How does anyone even get above a 1.... I rarely actually ask girls out but when I do get rejected it's always a 1 kind of excuse. But how the heck doesssomeone get more than that? I mean the only way I'm seeing is if you tried asking random girls for sex. or tried raping someone -_-


How have you not?

I've had more than one girl just look at me and say "Eww" when all I did was ask if they wanted to have coffee or something.

Like I said, been a long time, because I'm married now. More or less, what bugs the shit out of me now is getting that same attitude when I have no intentions of even going there. It's like, damn, I'm so bad you don't even want to RISK me being interested in you. LOL

Honestly, though, this is usually more a reflection on the women than me. That they think so highly of themselves to begin with is just sad.


You're making me scared of going out into the RL... Girls really do that?! And then again, I've never asked a girl out who I just met randomly. I don't really believe in dates or going from random acquaintances and jumping into romantic relationships.

Idk, maybe it's all the idealism and hopeless romanticism, but I actually think people are supposed to be friends first, and then progress romantically if they both feel that way.

That said, when I meet people who I think are cool to be friends with, I get their contact info for you know, chatting and befriending.

But yeah, it would be like so totally weird if I saw a girl I thought was pretty or hot or cute, then just asked her out for coffee -_-. Seems a little weird, I don't even know her.

But hey, you did that and I guess that's why you're now happily married, and I don't have a gf so you know, that just shows how reality and idealism clash and reality wins out.
Posted 9/16/15
You re not ugly....
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Posted 9/16/15
Eh, I've rejected people and been rejected. Both suck in their own special way, although being rejected is definitely worse.

My harshest "rejection" was probably in college: A couple girls came into my room (door was open, per usual) and started chatting at me about random things, eventually one of them asked my age (I was in my final year, so I was 22ish) and gave some kind of, "Eww! You're old.." comment in response, like I was some kind of wrinkled corpse.

I think my reaction was along the lines of, "Well ---- you too then, why are you even in here?" I mean, I was not particularly interested and it wasn't like I'd invited them in or something.

Looking back, I just find it strange and mildly amusing. I mean, exactly how young do you expect a senior college student to be? Not to mention that at my current age a twenty-two-year-old is young enough I'd be leery of even testing the waters.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

lambofgenesis wrote:

You're making me scared of going out into the RL... Girls really do that?! And then again, I've never asked a girl out who I just met randomly. I don't really believe in dates or going from random acquaintances and jumping into romantic relationships.

Idk, maybe it's all the idealism and hopeless romanticism, but I actually think people are supposed to be friends first, and then progress romantically if they both feel that way.


Honestly, I've very rarely just done that with a random girl. Usually know them in passing, at the least. However... I did randomly flirt with my wife (before I knew her at all), and then she later came back (I was at work), and gave me her number. That worked out.

Funny too, because that's basically the ONLY time I have flirted in my life. I'm more of a "Hey, you want to go out for a drink." or "Hey, we've known each other for a while, and I kinda have a thing for you." kind of guy.

BUT. I actually did ask my friend out in high school. We'd been best friends for about 2 years. She said, no, that I was too fat. Honestly knew her well, and would have never expected her to be like that.

Girls can be bitches, man... BUT, I'm sure some guys can be dicks, too.
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Posted 9/16/15

BlueOni wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

Haha, I'm married, man. Actually, I was a little irritated by something today, like I said... it pisses me off when I'm NOT interested, but they jump to that conclusion. In this case I was approaching someone to ask a question, they saw me walking up, showed disdain and put earphones in. That's just bitchy.


Did you two exchange words which indicated this is why she was expressing disgust, or did she simply glower at you as you approached and don her headphones to indicate she didn't want to talk to you? If it's the latter she could've simply been having a bad day and didn't want to speak to anyone, she could've simply been antisocial, she could've already been bothered a few times before you got to her while doing something important, it could've been anything if you didn't actually exchange words.


So, I was a freshman in college right, and it was winter, bout eight at night or so. And my college had this big building that was open 24/7. Anyways, this one girl sat down near the window in a chair I'd turned so it faced into the building instead of outside, and had her feet up on a table I'd pulled up so I could do exactly that. She had dressy shoes on, kinda like sandals with white flowers on top, and a warm looking puffy black coat.

Anyways, I figured I'd talk to her, because why not, and she just looked at me. Like, she wasn't doing anything either. She just sat there, while I was trying to talk to her, and didn't say anything. And then I stopped trying to talk to her. I still have no idea what she was thinking, but she did look good.

Eventually I think I got the chair back, yet for some reason it didn't quite feel the same.
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