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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

BlueOni wrote:
Did you two exchange words which indicated this is why she was expressing disgust, or did she simply glower at you as you approached and don her headphones to indicate she didn't want to talk to you? If it's the latter she could've simply been having a bad day and didn't want to speak to anyone, she could've simply been antisocial, she could've already been bothered a few times before you got to her while doing something important, it could've been anything if you didn't actually exchange words.


I suppose it could have been something else.... though I don't really treating anyone like that is okay, for any reason.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:

I suppose it could have been something else.... though I don't really treating anyone like that, for any reason.


Oh, I'm not disputing that she was rude. You just seem to have projected an internal frustration on her without warrant. Perhaps that internal frustration is valid. I can't say I know you nearly well enough to even venture a guess that it's not. Still, it seems all this woman is guilty of is being rude, which needn't entail that she's a narcissist. Save the ire for confirmed narcissists. You'll just waste energy and be mad all the time otherwise.


Nobodyofimportance wrote:

So, I was a freshman in college right, and it was winter, bout eight at night or so. And my college had this big building that was open 24/7. Anyways, this one girl sat down near the window in a chair I'd turned so it faced into the building instead of outside, and had her feet up on a table I'd pulled up so I could do exactly that. She had dressy shoes on, kinda like sandals with white flowers on top, and a warm looking puffy black coat.

Anyways, I figured I'd talk to her, because why not, and she just looked at me. Like, she wasn't doing anything either. She just sat there, while I was trying to talk to her, and didn't say anything. And then I stopped trying to talk to her. I still have no idea what she was thinking, but she did look good.

Eventually I think I got the chair back, yet for some reason it didn't quite feel the same.


That's not really rudely passing on an offer for a social excursion either, but it is kind of rude. But more than rude, it's kind of strange. Just sitting there and staring until someone stops talking and leaves is something I've never seen anyone do. Normally there's some sort of response.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
I never been rejected cause I never been interest on dating a girl, and probably never will.

-Mastergold
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16 / M / U.A Highschool
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15
I rather be rejected then be used...twice
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Posted 9/16/15

BlueOni wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

I suppose it could have been something else.... though I don't really treating anyone like that, for any reason.


Oh, I'm not disputing that she was rude. You just seem to have projected an internal frustration on her without warrant. Perhaps that internal frustration is valid. I can't say I know you nearly well enough to even venture a guess that it's not. Still, it seems all this woman is guilty of is being rude, which needn't entail that she's a narcissist. Save the ire for confirmed narcissists. You'll just waste energy and be mad all the time otherwise.


True that it was an assumption, though I'm still going to trust my gut on this one.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:


lambofgenesis wrote:

You're making me scared of going out into the RL... Girls really do that?! And then again, I've never asked a girl out who I just met randomly. I don't really believe in dates or going from random acquaintances and jumping into romantic relationships.

Idk, maybe it's all the idealism and hopeless romanticism, but I actually think people are supposed to be friends first, and then progress romantically if they both feel that way.


Honestly, I've very rarely just done that with a random girl. Usually know them in passing, at the least. However... I did randomly flirt with my wife (before I knew her at all), and then she later came back (I was at work), and gave me her number. That worked out.

Funny too, because that's basically the ONLY time I have flirted in my life. I'm more of a "Hey, you want to go out for a drink." or "Hey, we've known each other for a while, and I kinda have a thing for you." kind of guy.

BUT. I actually did ask my friend out in high school. We'd been best friends for about 2 years. She said, no, that I was too fat. Honestly knew her well, and would have never expected her to be like that.

Girls can be bitches, man... BUT, I'm sure some guys can be dicks, too.


The guys that are dicks are worse. <insert spiel> But then again, those are who all the girls actively ask out. You know unlike anime, irl if you're not like them, you have to ask girls out or do all the effort. But girls just flock to these other kinds of guys because idk, like flies to the buzzlight.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

lambofgenesis wrote:
The guys that are dicks are worse. <insert spiel> But then again, those are who all the girls actively ask out. You know unlike anime, irl if you're not like them, you have to ask girls out or do all the effort. But girls just flock to these other kinds of guys because idk, like flies to the buzzlight.


I'd like to be annoyed at women for going after the bad guys... but I honestly don't think it is conscious (all the time, at least).

I mean, I have a really bad record of dating terrible, cheating women... and I promise I was not intentionally going after those women. It really took being careful to start finding women who weren't like this. Sometimes you've got to avoid what naturally attracts you... or at least evaluate things before you commit.

I'm assuming it can be much the same with women. So... I don't hold it against them.
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Posted 9/16/15

BlueOni wrote:
That's not really rudely passing on an offer for a social excursion either, but it is kind of rude. But more than rude, it's kind of strange. Just sitting there and staring until someone stops talking and leaves is something I've never seen anyone do. Normally there's some sort of response.


I kid you not. She might have said something like, "Hi", or "okay", when I introduced myself, but from there on, total silence. She was looking directly at me though, head kinda tilted down, eyes up. It was interesting. I wasn't offering her a social excursion though, I just wanted to chat.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

Nobodyofimportance wrote:


BlueOni wrote:
That's not really rudely passing on an offer for a social excursion either, but it is kind of rude. But more than rude, it's kind of strange. Just sitting there and staring until someone stops talking and leaves is something I've never seen anyone do. Normally there's some sort of response.


I kid you not. She might have said something like, "Hi", or "okay", when I introduced myself, but from there on, total silence. She was looking directly at me though, head kinda tilted down, eyes up. It was interesting. I wasn't offering her a social excursion though, I just wanted to chat.

Maybe she was just shy/introverted and did not know how to react?




*I try to be an optimist. Life is less depressing that way.
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Posted 9/16/15
the worst rejection I had was when I was in Pre-K. I had a crush on a girl who I thought was the greatest thing ever made. I manned up and went to go talk to her. she said "get away from me youre ugly". it kinda scarred me for a little bit
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Posted 9/16/15

Nobodyofimportance wrote:

I kid you not. She might have said something like, "Hi", or "okay", when I introduced myself, but from there on, total silence. She was looking directly at me though, head kinda tilted down, eyes up. It was interesting. I wasn't offering her a social excursion though, I just wanted to chat.


I tend to be far better at understanding such things conceptually than recognising them on the fly, but I think that was "I'm going to be rude enough for him to feel awkward and leave, but not rude enough to upset him and thus make him stay longer." She wasn't even listening to you and just wanted to go back to what she was doing. You were talking to yourself after that greeting.

Very, very rude behaviour. I just say I don't want to talk if I'm that desperate not to talk to anyone.
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Posted 9/16/15 , edited 9/16/15

Dariamus wrote:
Maybe she was just shy/introverted and did not know how to react?
*I try to be an optimist. Life is less depressing that way.


It wasn't depressing at all. She looked quite good.

I just remembered an instance where I talked to somebody and had not the foggiest clue what they were thinking.
And now I've shared with the internet.

You know, my version is much more positive, I think I'll stick with it being somewhat hilariously awkward.
There are definite positives to being dense.
Though she was literally not doing anything, didn't even have a phone out.
I'd totally do it again for the memory.
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Posted 9/16/15
Well, you can't get rejected if you don't ask anyone out, which is the current state of affairs for me.
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34 / M / Horsham, PA
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Posted 9/16/15
For me the worst I had rejection wise was way back in high school. I pride myself on my intellect more than anything, so when a girl I asked out shot me down for being too dumb, it stung. Not really prideful about my looks so when I got shot down for that always shrugged it off. Still none of that got me to stop putting myself out there, and happily married now.
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Posted 9/16/15
I haven't asked many people out, and I've only been rejected once but it wasn't anything like pulling pepper spray. That's just insane. Also, she's my friend.

It usually works better when you talk to them as people. Pretend you have no interest in them romantically and speak to them as fellow human beings. Once your foot is in the door, you're perceived as much less of a threat and it's easier to take it from there. I don't know many people who don't feel weirded out when a stranger suddenly tries to talk to them in a too-personal way.

Then, again, I wasn't there so I couldn't observe the exchange. There's a possibility she was just rude. There are some crazy girls out there. I have stories if anyone needs something interesting to read.
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