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Post Reply Alright Crunchyroll, Lets talk about the friend zone.
Hexmos 
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
Hello fellow anime watchers,
I would love to hear your dicussion and past experiences being in the friend zone.
Also, some tips from the girls (and guys) how to stay out of it.

Personal Story: I have liked this girl for 2 years. Last year she dated my best friend who is 6"2 Tall and Black (for her the perfect guy) while I am short (which sucks as a guy). It was a struggle, but he left at the end of last year so this year I thought I should finally confess. And as soon as I confessed, she was so surprised that I liked her and she told me she liked another 6"4 tall guy at the school and she wanted to stay "great" friends.

Alright crunchyroll, let the discussion begin.
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20 / M / Norway
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Posted 10/4/15
(Never truly experienced this but I wanna tell something anyway)
If you have been "friendzoned" then you can still get in a relationship with deception!
Like, if your friend gets into a relationship and they end up breaking up with eachother. Then she/he will probably come to you for comfort. While vulnerable, things can happen.

Anyway, being friends with the other gender is actually awesome. Had a few female friends and I enjoy talking to them.
At least you have been friendzoned in real life. I've never been.
Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
She doesn't want you as a "friend", the "friend zone" is where a girl puts guys that are convenient only to use as self validation, getting free shit, and emotional shoulder to cry on and whine to.

Fucking betas.
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24 / F / United States, DE
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
I kind of think that the idea of the friendzone is bullshit, in the sense that some people think a person can't ever just want to be friends with someone, be it girl or guy. (In many cases it's a girl who just wants to be friends with a guy.)

If the guy/girl wants to be more than that, but stays friends anyway, then yeah I guess that would be considered 'friendzoning'. But that's honestly the fault of the person who clings to the relationship, not the one who just wants to be friends.
Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
Looks like she knows what she likes and goes for it. Why did you not even know her type? I mean, girls love to talk...

Anyway, you're not in any zone. Just find someone more suitable for you and then commence your friendship (with her). Otherwise, you're just messing with yourself even if you believe the time spent liking her is not a waste of time.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 10/4/15
Two years is too long if your still thinking she is going to be there plus there are a lot of tall dudes out there. Find someone who like who you are and your physical features. Dating your best friend seeing them together maybe she was your friend to get to him time to take a break move on
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Posted 10/4/15
Just find a girl shorter than you and you will be taller. Since you think girls only like guys for superficial reasons.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/8/15
Telling someone that you only see them as friends is only a nicer way to tell him/her that you don't like them as a partner
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Posted 10/4/15
Short mens/boys are the jealous type.
Bavalt 
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/6/15
Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/8/15
I rejected a guy and wanted to stay friends. We were friends for two years and then best friends for about 3 years after. I grew romantic feelings for him too so we're datin'.




Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?


This right here. Someone gets it.

Ikitou 
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
How to stay out of the friend zone: don't have friends.

Sometimes you have feelings for someone and they don't have them for you. It happens. The trick is to suck it up and move on; if you've got a friend out that situation then that's a positive. I try and look at this from the other point of view:

Imagine I'm friends with someone. They confess feelings for me which I don't share, and I have to let them down. If they then take offence and don't want to be friends any more, I'm probably not going to think very highly of them. Similarly, if they continue to hang around ostensibly as 'friends' but are actually just hoping to trick me into going out with them... then they're probably not somebody I'd ever want to date.

At the end of the day, being 'in the friend zone' = 'having a friend'. Try to see the bright side in that. Unrequited feelings suck, I get it. But you just gotta deal with it, enjoy the friendship you do have, and move past it.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
Back in high school I was in the "friendzone" or it really was just unrequited feelings. It sucked, big time but I just had to move on and appreciate that good friendship her and I had together while it lasted.
Posted 10/4/15
What's wrong with just being friends.

Eventually, the girl will fall for you...if you stay around long enough.
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25 / M / Virginia, United...
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/5/15
I saw this thread and it struck a chord with me and I felt the need to respond. I too felt that I was also "friendzoned" during my high school and college years. 6 years I liked this girl from middle school, who later in high school dated my best friend. When they finally broke up I took all the courage I had to admit the feelings I had for her all those years, and the jealousy I felt towards my best friend. The feelings were not reciprocated and she wanted to remain friends, which I was ok with. After I told her she was able to abuse my feelings for her to her advantage. Obviously that isn't the case with every single person who has ever been rejected romantically by their friend, and it sure as may not be the case for you. However, now that you've laid it out on the table it's important to understand that the dynamic of your friendship may change. Things that you did together for before may have a different impression or impact on you or them. For example, say you used to cuddle while watching movies together because she felt that comfortable around you; well you might not be able to do that anymore because she wouldn't want to mislead you. It's important that you protect yourself too so that you don't get mistreated in the end. There's always a risk of letting someone know how you feel, but from my experience it's better to let them know than suffer internally for THAT long. Plus there's plenty of fish in the sea, your romantic feelings will probably fade as life continues. Keep at it dude!
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