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Post Reply Alright Crunchyroll, Lets talk about the friend zone.
Hexmos 
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Posted 10/4/15
@CalifCat Very true, and I am grateful to be her friend. However, I really want to know if I have a chance or not or else I will never be able to move on. The way she texts me and how we talk say two very different things.
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Posted 10/4/15

Hexmos wrote:

@CalifCat Very true, and I am grateful to be her friend. However, I really want to know if I have a chance or not or else I will never be able to move on. The way she texts me and how we talk say two very different things.


Well if you feel comfortable enough in sharing how and a few things she texts you, we could get a better grasp on if she is leading you on. But , only if you feel comfortable sharing what "mixed messages" you think she is sending. If she is just flirting, girls just tend to do that as a personality trait at times.
I agree you need to know for sure though, if you are still confused.

I want everyone to be happy. ( I'm just a sarcastic person, don't take offense )
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Somewhere
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Posted 10/4/15
There is no such thing as the "friend zone" it's just some term someone created because their friend did not feel the same way. I'll be honest I am guilty of saying I've been friendzoned by girls I've liked. Though this "friendzone" is not a terrible thing and is actually probably better than having a serious relationship with that person. First off if you are sour that she friend zoned you then you need to rethink some things and how you see her. Do you truly care for her or do you care more about yourself? Yeah being turned down by the girl/guy you like hurts like hell, but it's never the end of the world. The thing is they made need you as a friend. I truly believe that there are things that a friend can do that a lover cannot. Usually when it comes to a romantic relationship if things go sour then you both may cut contact with each other and things will be different. You both may not be able to get past things if you two got serious. She may want to stay friends because you are very important to her and she does not want to lose you. She may need you and depend on you for certain things that the guy she loves may not be able to do.

I have a childhood friend that I loved and we tried dating. Though things did not work out and she broke up with me five days later. I believe she only dated me because her friend told her to give me a chance and I believe she was just trying to be nice. When she told me she was sorry and didn't see me the way I saw her, I understood, but was hurt. The thing is though our friendship is very strong. We both depend on each other for things and go to each other about things. Sometimes people just need a friend and aren't trying to look for a romantic relationship with that person. So don't feel defeated if she sees you as a friend. I understand being hurt, but don't let it ruin such a great friendship. Right now she needs you as a friend and maybe in the future things can change. Though if you remain friends with her just be there for her when she needs it. We all need that one person whether lover or friend that will be there for us when we need it most.

I really hope I made sense and wasn't just rambling.
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Posted 10/4/15
If she really only sees you as a friend then use her as a wingman to get another female who you can get busy with and your friend will stay your friend maybe just move forward
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15
You are there as her talking teddy bear. Just move on because you have a slim chance of progressing it further in the future. When or if she breaks up with her 6'4" "implied" boyfriend, then she will probably call you just to listen to how she feels and you provide some form of comfort. Quit talking to her for a few days and watch what happens. If she likes you, then she will ask personal questions about you especially your feelings; otherwise, you are not dating material.

Sorry to bust your bubbles but why wait for another chance when she did not take the chance to give you a chance?

Edit: Keyword, "Hanging out or Hang Out" used in any sentence is bull. Avoid it so your feelings will not be crushed anymore than it is.
Hexmos 
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Posted 10/4/15
@ctonhunter I understand what you are saying. And I hope people don't get the wrong idea. If I had been selfish, in which some people are saying, I would have confessed while she was dating my best friend. I have always stayed away so I would not complicate things.

@Awaken_Ricebal I gotcha.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15

Hexmos wrote:

@ctonhunter I understand what you are saying. And I hope people don't get the wrong idea. If I had been selfish, in which some people are saying, I would have confessed while she was dating my best friend. I have always stayed away so I would not complicate things.



I apologize if I seemed like I thought you were being selfish. That wasn't my intent. I was just basically saying "hey sometimes people just need a friend" and that can be the case here. Also that's good no reason to complicate things when she dated your best friend. The best thing you can do is like what others said "move on." Though still be her friend and be there is she does need you, but don't let her take advantage of you.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15

Ctonhunter wrote:

There is no such thing as the "friend zone" it's just some term someone created because their friend did not feel the same way. I'll be honest I am guilty of saying I've been friendzoned by girls I've liked. Though this "friendzone" is not a terrible thing and is actually probably better than having a serious relationship with that person. First off if you are sour that she friend zoned you then you need to rethink some things and how you see her. Do you truly care for her or do you care more about yourself? Yeah being turned down by the girl/guy you like hurts like hell, but it's never the end of the world. The thing is they made need you as a friend. I truly believe that there are things that a friend can do that a lover cannot. Usually when it comes to a romantic relationship if things go sour then you both may cut contact with each other and things will be different. You both may not be able to get past things if you two got serious. She may want to stay friends because you are very important to her and she does not want to lose you. She may need you and depend on you for certain things that the guy she loves may not be able to do.

I have a childhood friend that I loved and we tried dating. Though things did not work out and she broke up with me five days later. I believe she only dated me because her friend told her to give me a chance and I believe she was just trying to be nice. When she told me she was sorry and didn't see me the way I saw her, I understood, but was hurt. The thing is though our friendship is very strong. We both depend on each other for things and go to each other about things. Sometimes people just need a friend and aren't trying to look for a romantic relationship with that person. So don't feel defeated if she sees you as a friend. I understand being hurt, but don't let it ruin such a great friendship. Right now she needs you as a friend and maybe in the future things can change. Though if you remain friends with her just be there for her when she needs it. We all need that one person whether lover or friend that will be there for us when we need it most.

I really hope I made sense and wasn't just rambling.


Another guy that hit the nail on the head. I think this last part was very accurate for myself. At the time I rejected my boy he was hurt but we did end up being friends after and learning more about each other. The thing was, especially then, I wasn't looking for romance and i just really needed a friend first before anything. We're there for each other when we need it most and while I presently have hope on the romantic end of it working out, I know that regardless we'll be friends still. It's that reciprocated genuine loyalty he has that had moved my trust in his favor more than anyone else in my life.

We're kind of stupidly inseparable at this point. Not sure what I'd do without him. I think people don't view a friendship between a male and female as highly as they ought to. The bond can be bloody damn good. An offer of friendship is not necessarily always fake as some have come to believe.



Hexmos 
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Posted 10/4/15
@PrinceJudar I think that is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
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Posted 10/4/15
It can be a mixed bag. You can have someone like Judar who has that happy ending. Some others, not so much.

I have been "friend-zoned" (I hate this term). I have dated a few of them after knowing them for about two years. Others I helped them meet their boyfriend. Usually I am in the boat of just talking to the girls when they are upset or depressed. I really hate that though. Makes me all mopey too. I really don't mind it. I like being of help to them.

If you can't handle being "just friends" then you should just stop talking to her. I found that is the easiest way to go around things. Some girls will say that in sincerity. Some of them will say it to make the "no" less brutal. It is up to you to decide which one that is.

If you are fine being "just a friend" for a few years. Hey, you may end up dating her some day! Look at Judar or my ex.

Just be grateful they don't cheat on you. Happened twice. Still salty. If they dated you just to do it with no emotions attached, that will happen. So try to let her develop feelings for you.

Sorry for the disjointed post. My mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Painkillers are OP (fractured rib).
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Posted 10/4/15
It seems that you offer her a lot of emotional support through listening to her through breakups and such, I can only hope she would do the same or offers you some emotional support through other means.
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Posted 10/4/15

Hexmos wrote:

@haikinka You should probably know that I am literally that guy. Every breakup she has gone through I have been forced to hear all of it and buy her crap and help her with homework, and then hear it all over again.
That sounds like a one sided friendship. If you feel like you can't depend on her as a friend to support you during your tough times, what makes you think she'll be there to support you if you guys started dating?
Hexmos 
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Posted 10/4/15
@FlyinDumpling It is true that I may be there for her more than she is for me, however we both rely on each other for a lot of things. Were I might be the more mature one in the relationship (believe it or not), I tend not to involve other people in my personal struggles, I find it better just to find them out myself, unless there is something I just do not understand.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15


I think when it comes to male and female friendships it's seen as one party trying to get something from the other for selfish reasons. It can't be that maybe just maybe two people of the opposite sex can just be friends. I also think some may misunderstand what being a friend means. It's doesn't always mean just a buddy to hang out with. Sometimes just being friends is better than being romantically involved. I know that my childhood friend has a crush on some guy she worked with and attends college with. Does it bother me? No, because I know she needs me as a friend. And to be honest I'll take any kind of relationship i can get because she tends to be my voice of reason. When I have gone through some rough patches she has been there to keep me from making stupid mistakes and there to listen. If I lost that then well....yeah. I personally believe that people come into our lives for reasons. Some come to teach us a lesson and some come to be there when we need it most. Who knows maybe somewhere down the line my childhood friend will need me to be there for her and need that friendship we cherish to help her through something. If I was to cut that off just because she friendzoned me then I made a stupid decision. Now if she was using me, manipulating me, etc me that's a different story, but I've know her well enough to know she would not intentionally try to hurt me.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15
Ohhh the friend zone let me pop out my fedora and I'll get talking

I live there I'm too nice too everybody and when they finally get too know me they hate themselves for ever meeting me
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