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Post Reply Alright Crunchyroll, Lets talk about the friend zone.
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Posted 10/4/15

Hexmos wrote:

@FlyinDumpling It is true that I may be there for her more than she is for me, however we both rely on each other for a lot of things. Were I might be the more mature one in the relationship (believe it or not), I tend not to involve other people in my personal struggles, I find it better just to find them out myself, unless there is something I just do not understand.
One sign of any bad relationship is this triangle effect, instead of talking to her you go to a third party to talk about her, hence that last post about "forced to hear her crap again". It's one of those thing you hear when you know a bad break up is going to happen. This doesn't sound like a relationship that will start on a good foot.
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Posted 10/4/15 , edited 10/4/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

I rejected a guy and wanted to stay friends. We were friends for two years and then best friends for about 3 years after. I grew romantic feelings for him too so we're datin'.




Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?


This right here. Someone gets it.




In the last week i friend zoned a girl fell for her and rectified the situation all in the same week.

Not sure what to think of that xD

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Posted 10/4/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

I rejected a guy and wanted to stay friends. We were friends for two years and then best friends for about 3 years after. I grew romantic feelings for him too so we're datin'.




Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?


This right here. Someone gets it.



You're totally right, Asuna. OP should wait 3 more years to finally get his bestfriend to develop feelings for him and they start dating. Half a decade, totally worth.

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Posted 10/4/15

Ryulightorb wrote:


PrinceJudar wrote:

I rejected a guy and wanted to stay friends. We were friends for two years and then best friends for about 3 years after. I grew romantic feelings for him too so we're datin'.




Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?


This right here. Someone gets it.




In the last week i friend zoned a girl fell for her and rectified the situation all in the same week.

Not sure what to think of that xD



DUDE, that's like that anime week-long friends or something ZOMG
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Posted 10/4/15

lambofgenesis wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


PrinceJudar wrote:

I rejected a guy and wanted to stay friends. We were friends for two years and then best friends for about 3 years after. I grew romantic feelings for him too so we're datin'.




Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?


This right here. Someone gets it.




In the last week i friend zoned a girl fell for her and rectified the situation all in the same week.

Not sure what to think of that xD



DUDE, that's like that anime week-long friends or something ZOMG


XD yeah

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Posted 10/4/15
I don't know how you treat your friends, but it's not such a bad thing in my experience.
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Posted 10/5/15
The friendzone is a term guys invented to make it look as though the girl is at fault when they've "befriended" a girl with the sole intention of dating/ falling into bed with her. The chances are that they never saw you as much more than a friend, it is perfectly possible for men and women to be friends without one of them being madly in love with the other.
Posted 10/5/15

CalifCat wrote:

Just find a girl shorter than you and you will be taller. Since you think girls only like guys for superficial reasons.


Hmm.. good point but she's never gonna like him so he might as well use that as his shield to justify her inability to fall for him in the 2 years they've known each other. He needs to distance himself from her.
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Posted 10/5/15
unrequited love, sucks. Good luck.

Have I ever had unrequited love, nope.

I just don't crush on peeps almost. The ones I do are usually taken (married, bf) so I just don't even try.
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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15

Bavalt wrote:

Sucks that you got rejected, but don't buy into the "friendzone" propaganda: too often, it results in people being villainized for something that really wasn't ill-intentioned. You shouldn't blame her for her feelings, and you shouldn't disrespect friendship by treating it as "lesser than" a romantic relationship. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex isn't a stepping stone into a relationship; they're just two different things. If you want to stay friends with her, great. If you don't, then isn't it possible you didn't really like her for her in the first place?



weaselpipe wrote:

The friendzone is a term guys invented to make it look as though the girl is at fault when they've "befriended" a girl with the sole intention of dating/ falling into bed with her. The chances are that they never saw you as much more than a friend, it is perfectly possible for men and women to be friends without one of them being madly in love with the other.


Nailed it....

For what it's worth....
Most of the relationships that worked well for me started out as friendships . . . treat people how you like to be treated. Don't be pissed if you "ain't the one."
Sometime you need to make some new friends . . . or over time, reacquaint yourself with old friends...
Posted 10/5/15
Frankly, OP did not say anything bad about this girl.
Fyk0 
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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15
Friendzone discussion never leads to anywhere because people have different concept of it. For me it means this one girl for example knew I had romantic intentions and she didn't feel the same, so instead of completely cutting contact we kept seeing as friends (when there was other people too) and thus friendzoning me. Today I consider her as my best friend. It was painful as fuck, and I think it was better this way.
Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15

FlyinDumpling wrote:

well that struck a chord. Sorry, I'll always be there for you if you ever feel like crying just like how you have always been there for me.


Naaaw, thanks. But don't worry, I'm ok. I just pretty much said some shit word for word lol. I didn't mean most of it.
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Posted 10/5/15
I'll be in the friendzone lol and date other women who're serious.
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Posted 10/5/15

Ctonhunter wrote:

I think when it comes to male and female friendships it's seen as one party trying to get something from the other for selfish reasons. It can't be that maybe just maybe two people of the opposite sex can just be friends. I also think some may misunderstand what being a friend means. It's doesn't always mean just a buddy to hang out with. Sometimes just being friends is better than being romantically involved. I know that my childhood friend has a crush on some guy she worked with and attends college with. Does it bother me? No, because I know she needs me as a friend. And to be honest I'll take any kind of relationship i can get because she tends to be my voice of reason. When I have gone through some rough patches she has been there to keep me from making stupid mistakes and there to listen. If I lost that then well....yeah. I personally believe that people come into our lives for reasons. Some come to teach us a lesson and some come to be there when we need it most. Who knows maybe somewhere down the line my childhood friend will need me to be there for her and need that friendship we cherish to help her through something. If I was to cut that off just because she friendzoned me then I made a stupid decision. Now if she was using me, manipulating me, etc me that's a different story, but I've know her well enough to know she would not intentionally try to hurt me.


Agreed. My boy is the same way. The whole "I'll take any kind of relationship I can get" and he clearly meant it. I value our friendship more than the romantic aspect and he's the same way. He's been my voice of reason for so many years now. We talk every single day, and usually for hours at a time. Although after so many years one tends to run out of things to talk of at times so we just find ways to spend time with one another. We've been watching that Once Upon a Time series lately.

Sometimes I feel we get into arguments just so we can talk more sometimes, hah.


lambofgenesis wrote:

You're totally right, Asuna. OP should wait 3 more years to finally get his bestfriend to develop feelings for him and they start dating. Half a decade, totally worth.


Friendship isn't a stepping stone. She may or she may not. The value of a friendship can be worth more though. There is a reason that a good number of lasting relationships have friendship as a foundation. It can be a strong bond.

My boy and I sought out others for romance during the time. Any romantic interests we found got jealous over how tight my boy and I were. Kind of funny now that I think about it. I always chose my friendship with him over any other romantic interest and he did the same.

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