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Post Reply Alright Crunchyroll, Lets talk about the friend zone.
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Posted 10/5/15

PrinceJudar wrote:

Agreed. My boy is the same way. The whole "I'll take any kind of relationship I can get" and he clearly meant it. I value our friendship more than the romantic aspect and he's the same way. He's been my voice of reason for so many years now. We talk every single day, and usually for hours at a time. Although after so many years one tends to run out of things to talk of at times so we just find ways to spend time with one another. We've been watching that Once Upon a Time series lately.


I have the same kind of relationship with my wife. We are, and always have been, friends first. We usually spend an hour or two talking every night, and try to spend as much time together as we can. We've been watching a lot of the older Doctor Who lately.


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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15
The idea of the "friend-zone" isn't exclusive to rejected men making excuses, and it's not about blaming or shaming women. It's just a colloquial term for unrequited romantic feelings, regardless of gender or orientation, so we can discuss certain relationships with context.

Men can reject women's confessions and put them in the friend-zone -- just as one woman can do the same for another woman. I've been rejected by women and remained friends, and I have rejected and even dumped women and remained friends. It's not a point of misogyny; it's just a word to describe a situation where one friend has romantic feelings that aren't reciprocated. If you don't like a particular buzzword, fine, but don't apply one thought to every aspect of a subject.

In general, people these days dismiss whole subjects based on some blanket opinion, especially online, but each case is different. It's so difficult to discuss things like sex, race, war, guns, love, etc. because so many people have already made up their minds. Everyone's trying to label something as sexist, racist, offensive, or whatever, so they can scoff at the topic and ignore it. It's too easy (again, especially online) to walk away and live in a bubble than it is to question your beliefs and come up with good answers.
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Posted 10/5/15
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Posted 10/5/15

    I think the "friendzone" idea is silly. It seems to stem from a very one-sided "Man likes a woman and she rejects him." situation. Not everyone you like will reciprocate your interest. Sometimes she may actually just want to be friends and has no malevolent intentions to use you. I've seen this abuse, and most of the time it's just one person who is willing to go out of their way extraordinarily far to make the other like them. From personal experience, this has happened to me many times. In every single situation I wanted nothing more than to stay friends with someone I thought was a great person and had known for years, but it's difficult to convey disinterest in a romantic relationship without hurting the person. In some cases they become bitter and assume you've "rejected" them. Is it really so terrible to just want to remain friends?

    My advice to you would be to continue your friendship if you value the person. If you can't accept that friendship because the lack of romantic interest isn't enough for you, then end that relationship now. You're only doing damage to yourself.



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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15

ayaundwolf wrote:


    I think the "friendzone" idea is silly. It seems to stem from a very one-sided "Man likes a woman and she rejects him." situation. Not everyone you like will reciprocate your interest.


Don't kid yourself. It's not always the man trying to get the woman to notice him.

My wife still teases me over how dense I was.


I agree the feelings will not always be reciprocated, just don't stereotype it as a man mooning after a female friend.
I'm guilty of it, but I've been on the reverse side as well, without realizing it.

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Posted 10/5/15

Dariamus wrote:


ayaundwolf wrote:


    I think the "friendzone" idea is silly. It seems to stem from a very one-sided "Man likes a woman and she rejects him." situation. Not everyone you like will reciprocate your interest.


Don't kid yourself. It's not always the man trying to get the woman to notice him.

My wife still teases me over how dense I was.


I agree the feelings will not always be reciprocated, just don't stereotype it as a man mooning after a female friend.
I'm guilty of it, but I've been on the reverse side as well, without realizing it.




    Fair enough, gender equality warrior.

    But take a look around this thread and site me one example of a woman complaining about the same. I harbor no ill-will to men that feel the pain of loving someone for years just to be turned down, so don't get upset and think that I'm making victim stories out of the women. Tell me I'm wrong when I say that in most cases it is men.




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Posted 10/5/15

ayaundwolf wrote: Tell me I'm wrong when I say that in most cases it is men.


I can only speak of personal experience, and I'm guilty in both directions.
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Posted 10/5/15
Soooooo its always men and doesn't help this site is 2-1 ratio of men. Women have all the power all the time its how they choose to use it that can be the issue
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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15

scoobydew wrote:

Soooooo its always men and doesn't help this site is 2-1 ratio of men. Women have all the power all the time its how they choose to use it that can be the issue


Well not only the ratio is on this site compromised mostly of men, but women typically prefer not to make the first move. Typically. Your dealing with a small pool.

Women will definitely use the 'friendzone' term as well. If they are the type to make the first move.



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Posted 10/5/15

thestars201 wrote:

What's wrong with just being friends.

Eventually, the girl will fall for you...if you stay around long enough.


Ha.. ha ha... HAHAHAHA!
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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15
Friend zone is like the Twilight Zone but about friends!
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Posted 10/5/15



What's up Hex? I have been in the friend zone a few times, so although our situations are a little different maybe my input will help.

Depends what you want to do; I don't know how strongly you feel for her. I'm always for keeping eyes open, not necessarily giving up, but not focusing solely on a girl that isn't feeling you. I think what gets most guys placed in the friend zone is being too subtle with their intentions; while you don't want to be super aggressive, acting like you have potential interest with eye contact, posture, dress, and the amount of charm can keep you from falling into that pit so quickly. The main thing to remember is girls get hit on so much turning a guy down is almost second nature, so you sometimes have to make them notice you in that light that she hasn't seen you in yet. If she said she wants to stay great friends hold her to it - make her see how you would treat a girl if she were with you. Essentially, take her on a date without it being a date; if she isn't dating the guy it shouldn't be a big deal. This will tell you how zoned you are, if you are the guy friend she only talks to at school and doesn't hang out with you are probably screwed. I will share my experiences below.

Example One: I was a Sr in high school & was friend zoned by the main girl I had liked for a year that had moved to our school starting last semester of Sophmore year. I had made no progress there so I had been attempting to date this other girl whom I had went to school with previously several years prior. She was 2 years under me, but her sister had been in the same class as me so I used that to my advantage. Although I hadn't actually spoken to the older sister in a long time, my best friend worked with her @ pizza hut so I started going in there and we became friends and started hanging out - she was a big nerd so we would always game & junk - anyways my other friend whom had went to school with us previously (not the pizza hut friend) started liking her which was perfect for me. By being friends with the older sis I was around a lot at that point so it made Sara (little sis) & me comfortable around each other and gave me a chance to flirt/spend time. Setting my best friend up with her sister was even smarter because then everything was basically a double date; we would all go places together & do things. So that's how I broke that friend zone - took 3 months. The only drawback to this example is we were only friends a short while before I started making moves so the friend zone, even though established, had not been in place long.

Example Two: In reference to the friend zone above - the main girl I had liked throughout high school - we were best friends. Jr & part of Sr year we spent on average 4 nights a week hanging together; going to movies, going to the lake, four-wheelers, we did everything together. We would cuddle up on the couch together, and it was some bullshit because by the time we had graduated we would lay on the couch & i'd kiss down her neck & ears yet get rejected if I went for the lips. I didn't understand it - I asked her out & got rejected as well. I got pissed & went after the girl above, whom I swapped for a girl who contacted me first (love it when a girl goes after what she wants) & spent 2 years with her. So i'm 20 years old, almost 21, and me and the best friend from high school had re-established friendship about a year& a half into my relationship; the girl I was with ended up moving to TN & I moved to college elsewhere so we split up. The college I went to was 20 mins from Brittany, the best friend, so we started hanging again. No bullshit that time. If I wanted a kiss I got a kiss, except by this time my feelings were gone & she was the one friend zoned.
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Posted 10/5/15 , edited 10/5/15


Idk - i feel like someone will find this interesting.

http://bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-Rechek%20et%20al.%202012%20Benefit%20or%20Burden.pdf
Hexmos 
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Posted 10/5/15
Thanks for taking the time. I really understand what you are saying and I feel we have a lot of parallels within our stories. I will be looking at that link when I have the time. @shishiku
Posted 10/5/15

tf2pyros wrote:


thestars201 wrote:

What's wrong with just being friends.

Eventually, the girl will fall for you...if you stay around long enough.


Ha.. ha ha... HAHAHAHA!


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