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Post Reply Does Having Sex Ultimately Symbolize a Couple's Intimacy?
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20 / M / Sweden
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Posted 10/7/15
Sex is a pleasure a couple can do when they feel their up for it, however that doesn't mean it's nesesery since there are people out there who are asexual meaning they don't like sex but still wants relationships whit another human being. So in all honesty, if you're into sex and sexual acts then it's the final form of a relationship. However if you're asexual then it's fine without it and still call yourself a couple
Posted 10/7/15
If you think of sex like they do in porn, you'll think of sex as holding each other at arms length and bumping into each other repeatedly until someone get too tired to go on, which is something you can very well do on your lonesome with a table leg. It's a bit more complex than some unemotional grind instigated by someone's fat going t'werk, though, surprisingly.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 10/7/15
I get what the OP is asking and I would say yes if your in a marriage. I was married for almost 18 years and people change over time, priorities change you might start a family or someone might get an illness all part of the commitment. Being in a relationship without sex is like a friendship and having a roommate. In my humble opinion if you stop having sex then its only a matter of time before the relationship will change or evolve and the commitment will be over. I am still friends with my ex-wife she is like a relative and the mother of my son but the sexual attraction not happening any more.
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26 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
Sometimes people forget that little term called "abstinence".
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28 / M / Baton Rouge, Loui...
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
You'd be surprised how big of a deal sex is where I live. I think that since so many people are used to the concept that "couples have sex", it's just a social norm.

Personally, I believe that people that love each other show it in multiple ways even if that way just happens to not be sex. But that's just me.

You also have to remember that people are getting into "relationships" at earlier ages now, so now you got kids out here throwing out the idea that "sex is love" and that can prove disastrous for some.
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 10/7/15

Kid2daKrazx wrote: Personally, I believe that people that love each other show it in multiple ways even if that way just happens to not be sex. But that's just me.
Well its not just you, and yes there is many ways many dealt with objects to get a memory that can be much stronger then life it self. (bonding?)

You also have to remember that people are getting into "relationships" at earlier ages now, so now you got kids out here throwing out the idea that "sex is love" and that can prove disastrous for some.
haha... do you mean its happening now or recent?
... lol, well I got something more on about the early thoughts for little girls about marrige but thats quite different (as its more of the mother side of nature)..
But yes sex can mean a lot if done right.. as a bonding between both mind/emotions as well physical
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA
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24 / M / florida
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
i think the only things sex can really determine is a orgasm(or lack there of) or a child.
You don't love someone more after sex, you lust for them more..... I mean sure it can be a trust builder but that is not really true, the act of willing to do it with someone is more a trust builder then actually doing it.

that's just my two cents....

as far as intimacy goes, it can be done 100 different ways, but not one single one of those ways is more significant then any other unless you add a mental fortitude to it. IE
sex is only as intimate and important in a relationship as you make it, same for going on romantic dates, or staying in watching movies cuddling.

as a guy who has been in a relationship for 4 years currently i can say that these things kind of dwindle in importance the longer the relationship as trust becomes more assumed. what does grow is the general bond of understanding and being more comfortable around each other.

also the length of a relationship has little to no bearing but the longer it continues the more things like the above become retinue and often that leads to them holding less bearing of importance in the relationships, not that they are not wanted but that you tend to get less excited over them, however being butthurt about not having them as much does occur.

also, i know people who were together for a month got married happily, I've been with my gf for 4 years and have no plans of getting married ever. neither does she. I have plans to get into the JET program after collage and she wants nothing to do with it, and she wants to pursue her own goals with her education. also my girlfriend hates anime, and loves horror movies. I hate horror movies and love anime. She hates camping and i love camping, she loves having animals, i can't stand the notion of being responsible for animals, she hates science, my major is organic chem..... so being in a longterm relationship does not mean having a lot in common, i need a polor opposite personally to balance out my crazy.
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35 / M
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Posted 10/7/15
sex doesn't accompany love all the time. or if it does, it can be a temporary love.
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 10/7/15
Well it really depends to be honest. I guess you can say no it does not, but I have to ask the question what separates a female friend from a female mate? That is the question that has to be answered for me. What exactly sets one female apart to deserve more love and attention than another.

Then again I can lean right back to saying yes. I mean we all watch anime. They do group bathing in Japan. It is widely understood as a bonding experience between people. Sex can be viewed in a similar light. Really sex takes things one step further if you really think about it. You are inviting a person to be close to you in a place where you are must vulnerable, your bed. It is a sign of trust and devotion to many. Not to mention all the happy hormones that get released helping people bond.

But at the end of the day it is up to each individual couple. I would say if one member of the couple does not want to maintain a sex life, that is fine. If I were put in that situation I would make sure my partner knows that I enjoy having sex and I am going to get my sex from another person. If the female I am with has a problem with that then our relationship is going to have issues beyond just sex. It is all about perspective and that can be a hard thing to really allow people to be right or wrong. I personally feel that even if one person in the relationship does not want to have sex he or she should still put out regularly enough to keep their partner satisfied. After all, a relationship is about love and you want your mate to be happy. I am sure that your mate can find plenty of things to do to keep you happy that they hate doing. Just some food for thought.

Anyway until someone can explain to me how to distinguish between a female friend and a female mate without sex then I am at a lose.
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Posted 10/7/15

Ryulightorb wrote:


alicia-m wrote:


4uD3ar wrote:

As long as both parties are mutual and happy they can do what they find fit. I don't think you need sex while in love, but nothing is wrong with doing it either.


I would think it would be highly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship over the long-term without it. It is probably more fair to say "a small percentage of people can completely last without it."

I mean...yeah. I'd bet that for most of us you're kidding yourself if you think you can go 100% without it and still be happily together for your lives. Is it absolutely required? No, I'd agree it's not, but it really does help you build your relationship and keep yourselves together.



I could easily go without sex due to the fact i have low testosterone and next to no sex drive.

Honestly i could happily go without sex and have for many relationships even though most of them only lasted 3 years due to them cheating -.-

I think people put to much emphasis into sex as a whole it's easy to go without it and if you can't keep your relationship together and keep yourselves together and happy without sex then ...i'm sad to say it but you should just move on.


And you clearly didn't read anything in my post. You are among the minority who can go without it, congratulations you are officially unique in ways that are not really unique at all.

smh.
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 10/7/15

scoobydew wrote:

I get what the OP is asking and I would say yes if your in a marriage. I was married for almost 18 years and people change over time, priorities change you might start a family or someone might get an illness all part of the commitment. Being in a relationship without sex is like a friendship and having a roommate. In my humble opinion if you stop having sex then its only a matter of time before the relationship will change or evolve and the commitment will be over. I am still friends with my ex-wife she is like a relative and the mother of my son but the sexual attraction not happening any more.


A relationship based on largely just sexual attraction is asking for trouble... People aren't gonna stay physically attractive forever
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
Some people are dynamite in the bedroom but absolute shite to be with anywhere else

Edit: forgot to answer OP's question. Answer is a resounding NO
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45 / M / savannah
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Posted 10/7/15
you can have sex with out it being intimate. so its no.
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 10/7/15
Maybe in a dating relationship but in a marriage its a killer
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52 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 10/7/15
I am speaking from a male point of view but if your wife isn't expressing love for you physically a lot of guys will find someone else who will its sad but true its what keeps prostitutes busy and divorce lawyers that's the harsh reality of the States I live in
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