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Post Reply How do I talk to people if they're not at a convention?
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19 / M / Canada
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Posted 10/7/15
Hey Everybody!

I have a peculiar problem where I get uneasy talk to people for the first time.

But that's not all, when it comes to conventions I can talk to anyone I like to and don't feel as uneasy. I seriously don't know what causes this, whether it's because I know what everyone is into, or if it's just nerves or what?

Does anyone have this problem? AM I the only one? Can someone explain what is going on?

I'm starting University and still have troubles talking to people!

Have I unintentionally become Hachiman Hikigaya?

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26 / M / Houma
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
You may be like me and are only comfortable while talking to people who you know share a common goal or interest.

If you throw me into the workplace, a convention, a sporting event, or even a football team I will communicate well and with purpose. I will even take charge when needed.

If I'm anywhere else I lack that sense of purpose and I feel uncomfortable.
Posted 10/7/15
I kind of understand you. I'm a robot really when it comes to talking to other people. I am not good at it and it's obvious that it's off-putting. I think you just can talk to people with common interest easier though. A fan of anime, you have a common denominator I guess.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 10/7/15
Accidently tripping and groping them if they are a girl usually helps atleast that's what Anime would have you believe

but seriously ......i would love to know i can't talk to people unless we share the same interests otherwise im like its a waste of time.
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 10/7/15
You are lucky you're not like me I find it difficult to talk to anyone, even people over the internet, like right now I'm pondering whether or not to post this or not (although if you reading this then I guess I did).

To your question though, if you're talking to someone for the first time you what to have something to talk about, there is nothing worse then a conversation abruptly halting followed by and akward silence because there is nothing to talk about. If your at a convention then you know there is alway going to be something to talk about as you share a common interest.

I would say from my experience if you just start talking something will come up that you can talk about and when it does you will feel alot more comfortable. It's not much but when your going into a situation blind all you can do is hope for the best.
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21 / Australia
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
I have never started the first conversation to a stranger or even a friend of a friend in my ENTIRE life. It's probably just who you are. Do you also find it hard to recall information in the heat of conversation and you just make an idiot out of yourself because you just can't think fast enough to keep up with the conversation?
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Posted 10/7/15 , edited 10/7/15
Dude, I'm worse off than you. I can't even talk to people at a convention.

Well, I take that back... When it's like 2:00 A.M. and all the smokers are out, we all talk. I hate to say it, but social smoking is a great tactic for starting conversations. I don't encourage you to start smoking if you don't already, though.

EDIT: Then again, I'm one of those creepy old pervs, so...
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34 / M / London
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Posted 10/7/15
I was in my mid to late 20s before I truly came out of my shell and started talking happily to anyone. I think it's a combination of being quite solitary as a youth (I could only talk to people if they wore a T-shirt of a band I liked) and fearing ridicule for my tastes/interests. Eventually I realised everyone's as terrible as me
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21 / F
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Posted 10/9/15 , edited 10/9/15
I used to be like that, very shy and never knowing what to say to other people. All you really gotta do is just be yourself. I know its like the most cliché thing ever, but it does work. One thing to keep in mind though is to keep the conversation going. If a conversation i'm in with my friends drops suddenly, I'm usually the one to try and keep it going again. I make a joke like "hey, everyone please don't all speak at once," or maybe "soooo, whats up with ya'll besides the sky?" Just try and pick a topic like maybe current events or some weird youtube video you saw last night. But when you do make close friends, conversations will eventually just come to you. I used to be the shy shutin and now I'm the one thats planing events to go to places and no one can ever get me to shutup.

P.S. Also You'll be surprised by how many people watch anime and read manga when you get into college. Of course no one has seen as much as I have ((since i'm the biggest otaku nerd ever)), but a week or two ago i saw someone wearing a Free! tanktop with the characters from the show on it walking around campus. It just made my inner fangirl squeal inside my head.

P.S.S. I don't think that your becoming Hachiken, because Hachiken doesn't himself for being socially awkward, but blames everyone else around him.
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37 / M / Virginia USA
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Posted 10/9/15
I don't talk to people IRL. I have to talk all day at my job. Almost non-stop.

Much easier to be a keyboard warrior away from the place.
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27 / M / Jacksonville Florida
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Posted 10/9/15
I used to be really shy and awkward ( still awkward lol) then all of a sudden something changed, I dunno what, but I realized I no longer cared what others thought of my hobbies ( in the negative way I mean) or how I lived my life :3. Since then it has been much easier to talk to people and enjoy life.

I think the first step as lame as it may sound is to love yourself, accept who you are, if your not happy about yourself, you will be less likely to try and meet new people. You will always find fault and make excuses to not attempt to get to know people, while also increasing unnecessary anxiety.

After many many years of being shelled up in my mind I just went for it, its scary, but worth it.
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24 / M / States.
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Posted 10/10/15
It just might be the fear of being judged! D; But honestly, everyone has some kind of insecurity.

I'd personally think you'd want to find people with similar interests anyway, like a club! Why bother getting to know someone if you won't find something interesting about them? That's what biographies are for anyway~~~~~~ ∩(︶▽︶)∩
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24 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 10/10/15
Whoa. Highly relatable thread alert.

It's likely easier for you to start conversations with people at conventions because it's a given that you share the same interests. But outside of a con? Yeah, it's a bit tougher. For me it's tough on both counts just because of my social anxiety. I would say, if there's someone you'd like to talk to, bring up the environment first. Are you both in the same class? Maybe talk about your upcoming assignment. Work the same late night shift? Vent with each other that you wish you were in bed. Then maybe bring up more interesting topics later on. If the person is wearing a geeky Pokemon shirt that makes it all the more easier. Baby steps.
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26 / M / Romania
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Posted 10/10/15
I couldn't talk to people at conventions, I'm a social wreck, haha. I can barely hold a conversation going online.
It's rare that I find people to keep talking to for long periods of time, even if we have things in common.

So yeah, if it makes you feel any better, thing of me and know there's someone who is worse than you at talking with people
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 10/10/15 , edited 10/10/15
Question: Do you really need to talk to anyone outside of a convention?
If you're social at social events and not so at school, then you've got it made.
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