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Post Reply I come to ask you guys at crunchyroll for some advice
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Posted 10/17/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


I'm convinced it's just the women i find attractive.

four things make a woman attractive to me ..there interests (being close to mine)
Them being abnormal or different from the majority of women.
Clingyness and the need to be around a guy alot (i'm someone who hates being alone even if it's for a few hours a day )
and honestly the last thing is i have a thing for women who are really intelligent or have a disability like me (bipolar,OCD,Autism)

...to be honest i think it may be my choice in women but that creates the problem of why would i choose someone i'm not attracted to if you get what i mean it's a catch 22


MAYBE, to a degree, it is the women you date. It could even be things that are even more subtle that you do not know.

However, MOST women tame down quite a bit as they get older and wiser. They want those serious relationships, and are willing to put the work into them.

Do not underestimate the process people your age are going through to figure yourselves out. It's a powerful and necessary process.... which is why most people recommend waiting to get married and have children. One day you'll look back at yourself as you are now, and kinda laugh at how different you have become and how you have grown in ways that you cannot currently foresee. It is just the same for women. Don't underestimate it.



That's true.

I just want to settle down with someone already though and everyone wants to date with multiple guys etc.

I guess i'm the odd one out in a sense xD
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Posted 10/17/15

Ryulightorb wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

MAYBE, to a degree, it is the women you date. It could even be things that are even more subtle that you do not know.

However, MOST women tame down quite a bit as they get older and wiser. They want those serious relationships, and are willing to put the work into them.

Do not underestimate the process people your age are going through to figure yourselves out. It's a powerful and necessary process.... which is why most people recommend waiting to get married and have children. One day you'll look back at yourself as you are now, and kinda laugh at how different you have become and how you have grown in ways that you cannot currently foresee. It is just the same for women. Don't underestimate it.



That's true.

I just want to settle down with someone already though and everyone wants to date with multiple guys etc.

I guess i'm the odd one out in a sense xD


Eh... don't rush it. Have fun. Just make sure you are treating people the best you can as you are doing it, and you won't have many regrets.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 10/17/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

MAYBE, to a degree, it is the women you date. It could even be things that are even more subtle that you do not know.

However, MOST women tame down quite a bit as they get older and wiser. They want those serious relationships, and are willing to put the work into them.

Do not underestimate the process people your age are going through to figure yourselves out. It's a powerful and necessary process.... which is why most people recommend waiting to get married and have children. One day you'll look back at yourself as you are now, and kinda laugh at how different you have become and how you have grown in ways that you cannot currently foresee. It is just the same for women. Don't underestimate it.



That's true.

I just want to settle down with someone already though and everyone wants to date with multiple guys etc.

I guess i'm the odd one out in a sense xD


Eh... don't rush it. Have fun. Just make sure you are treating people the best you can as you are doing it, and you won't have many regrets.


your right thanks for the advice
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Posted 10/17/15

Ryulightorb wrote:

your right thanks for the advice :)


You are welcome. However, I feel like I must pass one more thing to you, before you call it good, if you are taking my advice.

"Listen to everyone's advice, but make your own decision."

Not sure where it originally came from, but my grandfather used to say it, and I personally think it is the best advice anyone could give.

Feel free to friend me. :)


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Posted 10/19/15
Everyone has their own ideals and you were unlucky enough to meet a bunch of terrible people that took from you what they felt they were entitled to. It's good you have seen a therapist about it and as others before me have said, "if you don't want to change then you're wasting your time and money on a sympathetic ear."

To me that means learning how to be just selfish enough to only accept what works for you in a relationship and being able to let go of one that isn't and won't be fulfilling. It's a selfish and necessary thing to do to a partner if you care about your own well being.

There's not a lot you can do about past psychopath except to accept that the relationship is over (and for the better) and deny them further control over your emotions.
If it's any consolation to you, your abusive exes will probably never have anyone that cared as much for them as you did because most would drop them quicker than a dirty rag and because they seemed to think it's okay to treat someone this way, they will probably will never improve.
The way they acted sounds to me like they needed you and were desperate to keep you from leaving them.

I want to say you're trying to become stronger as an individual by reaching out but so far all I see is you seeking a replacement manager to tell you how you should act. But you're not like them and there's nothing wrong with being a genuine victim of an abuser emotional or otherwise.
It isn't wrong to be so invested in someone if you can look after yourself if things don't work out.

So the main point was "You have to set your own goal to change yourself and you have to decide what kind of person you want to turn into."
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Posted 10/19/15
I don't know much about abusive relationships but I know a fair amount about depression I went through it in highschool always be your self don't change for people to have a prettier picture of you because no matter how pretty the picture looks if it's not something you want your self then you don't need it keep your head up high your just as good as the next guy don't let people discourage you on what you yourself want to do in life haters will always hate. Have a good night man.
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