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Post Reply Has anyone ever felt this way before?
Timmn 
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Posted 10/21/15
I had a friend, and her father ran an office supply store. One day she asked me if I could go with her on a delivery she had to make for her father, I had a lot to do that day, so I told her I couldn't. She went on the delivery alone and on the way back she was sitting at a red light when a truck rear-ended her car. The impact pushed her car into the intersection and another car hit the side of her car. The fire department had to cut her out of the car, she died in the hospital a few hours later.

I can't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had gone with her.
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Posted 10/21/15

conikettu wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.

Explain your opinion in great detail.


Have you ever had a conversation with someone you knew and felt that will be the last conversation you will have with that person? Like, after that conversation that will be the last time you ever talk to that person due to something terrible that has happened to the person. I get this feeling when it comes to my mother and it bothers me sometimes. I try to ignore it but it happens ever so often that it's annoying. I haven't spoken to her about it because I'm not so sure how she will respond. And I don't know how to explain it to her. I love my mother and I worry that I'm gonna lose her. I don't want that just yet. It doesn't help that I get this thoughts about random and horrific things that happen to her. Maybe I worry too much or something but I can't help feeling like this.

Does anybody else feel like this?


I've pretty much lost a person this way, I can't easily describe why it had happened. And I could not find myself faulty of it. Let's say it was a summer of memories. Both of good and bad, and the feeling and nightmares that struck me - knowing that I'd lose; tore me apart.

Well the nonchalant poetic version I gave, up there; probably won't say a thing. This is not about a subject of losing a person in a way that it dies. It's more of the type of way, that no matter what I did - no matter how hard I pushed, a simple dream realized with the gap widening; till I was swallowed by the hole, unable to reach that person.


It was the one and only time that I had met one very special person from online-gaming for the first time in real. It was a beautiful summer, and everything about it was completely off. I don't even know, if the reason why I lost the opportunity was because I was initially depressed for the first and last time of my life; but that speculation simply gives me heartache.

The first day, it was pretty much spending the whole day of fun. Even seeing shooting stars; it all felt magical. And the following night; a nightmare too vivid to be real. No matter how hard I pursued in the dream; I was struck down, killed, chained. I chased with my willpower endlessly. The first night I was able to conquer the nightmare.

I really wished it was a coincidence. And I still had the chance to meet with the person another time. There hadn't been any gap yet and seemingly nothing had changed. I had already recovered from the ugly grief that I had suffered. And the next night the same nightmare repeated, but I lost. No matter what, it took a few nights of the repeated same dream and the distance between us grew. No matter how perfect match it seemed. Even as friends - not talking about romance in here. Everything in common, and only an otherworldly feeling breaking down the walls.

However these dreams progressed in a similar manner as my emotional recovery. The harder I was beaten down in the nightmare, the healthier I have been. And at same time the distance between me and that person has gone far too distant. I've still sighed after the memory that was once lit, over two years ago but this summer and fall finally snuffed away that flame.

It isn't fair. Life isn't fair. I am not making this to seek sympathy, I feel this is more of a scary story to show what that 'creeping' fear can be at it's worst. This isn't the only experience I have with this type of stuff but it is the strongest and most concrete. (Like with pets, dying away - knowing it before had is scaaary)


And one of the things, I was said by her was that: "You have a heart made of steel - unbreakable" That one quote still hurts me to this day. Perhaps I have a strong heart and I don't become depressed, but it STILL HURTS. Still, if I had the choice, I'd rather not forget the time; it taught me the things that are important for me in the life. Despite I am still searching, I know they exist. I learned to nourish and take care of my smile and being myself, not being something that someone else wanted me to be.



****************************************************************************

And for the OP about her experiences; it is a scary emotion. And it really is hard to know whether to take it seriously or not. It might only be something of symbolic. Or then it might be something subconscious. There might be something happening or there might not. Perhaps another question is how often it has happened, with the feeling that something has really happened. The more accurate the intuition is, the more frightening it is. Since that stuff is pretty much in the gray zone.

I think the best advice is: Follow your heart, not your reason with that feeling. And see, if it helps - or not.


ps. Though this is not necessarily about losing, I've once saved a person's life when I got an eerie feeling that something was wrong; I did something really out of characteristic to me - and I remember I was listening to music back then. I called the ambulance when I found the scene.

Hopefully you feel better, I'm sorry for what happened, and even the strongest people still feel pain.
Just stay strong and live life to the fullest, people pass on and it can hurt. But they wouldn't want you to hurt like that, I wish you the best and I hope everything works out ^^
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Posted 10/21/15


Thank you.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/21/15

Timmn wrote:

I had a friend, and her father ran an office supply store. One day she asked me if I could go with her on a delivery she had to make for her father, I had a lot to do that day, so I told her I couldn't. She went on the delivery alone and on the way back she was sitting at a red light when a truck rear-ended her car. The impact pushed her car into the intersection and another car hit the side of her car. The fire department had to cut her out of the car, she died in the hospital a few hours later.

I can't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had gone with her.


I'm so sorry to hear it.
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Posted 10/21/15

qualeshia3 wrote:



Okay then.


meh sorry, I'm kind of a dick, insensitive or whatever as females have told, probably dense and brutally honest but I don't care, i try to be a little care free and keep a smile on my face.... what am I saying. I always say stupid stuffs

-thanks for your concern though
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Posted 10/21/15 , edited 10/21/15


No, you weren't and you're welcome.
Timmn 
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Posted 10/22/15

qualeshia3 wrote:


Timmn wrote:

I had a friend, and her father ran an office supply store. One day she asked me if I could go with her on a delivery she had to make for her father, I had a lot to do that day, so I told her I couldn't. She went on the delivery alone and on the way back she was sitting at a red light when a truck rear-ended her car. The impact pushed her car into the intersection and another car hit the side of her car. The fire department had to cut her out of the car, she died in the hospital a few hours later.

I can't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently if I had gone with her.


I'm so sorry to hear it.


Yes, that's the only thing I would change if given the chance to go back in time.

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Posted 10/22/15

I think it's something we all ponder now and again, regarding someone we love. When your mind is feeling adventurous you may think something akin to "What if they get hit by a car right after we hang up?What will I do?"

Long distance relationships can be bad. You start to wonder who would alert you if something terrible happened to your friend / lover.

This is the worst regarding someone who is sick. You want to stay positive, but the inevitable thought occurs that you should treasure your time, because you're not sure how much of it you have left with them. I can empathize with this. I visited my grandmother every day for months when she was in the hospital with kidney failure and heart disease. She died hours after I left. To rub salt in the wound the only person present was a family friend.
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Posted 10/22/15
I had to live with this feeling for over a year. I took care of my mother for the final years of her life. I even convinced myself I had accepted her death when she was alive because she had cancer and several tumors. She could have been a survivor whoever due to medical malpractice however that is a story for a different day. Anyways during her final hours my whole life changed. Its like a understanding came over me. My mother and I had a unusual relationship she did so many things that most people would consider bad or wrong she even did things that I could not stand. She got on my nervous more than anyone and If I was in the same room with her more than an hour I would be clawing at the door. I also could never understand her ways or why she did stuff the way she did. I always thought she was weak, stubborn, and I never listened to her. She was everything I hated I also forgave her many many times that no one else would. She could readily push my buttons within a minute. As time went on right before she passed I understood how much alike we are and how much strength it took for her to just survive. To this day I am amazed by her the woman who I thought was weak and had nothing to teach me was my life. She is everything I am to this day I live because of her, I survive because of her. I truly understand how you are feeling from the bottom of heart I understand truly. If I may suggest something. Take your phone or camera and record everything even the meaningless things. Record the two of you talking, record her life story like a biography, take notes on her history, ask questions. and above all just take your time when you spend time with her. She can leave behind her legacy too you this will also help you after she passes. I truly regret not doing that before when I had the chance because my biggest regret is not doing enough. That feeling will never go away nor should it. Anything can happen in a instance my whole life has turned around in a second. That is why I do not fight/argue with people or hold a grudge because I know from person experience anything can change at anytime for any reason. Just spend as much time together as you can.
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Posted 10/24/15 , edited 10/24/15

coolfire719 wrote:

I had to live with this feeling for over a year. I took care of my mother for the final years of her life. I even convinced myself I had accepted her death when she was alive because she had cancer and several tumors. She could have been a survivor whoever due to medical malpractice however that is a story for a different day. Anyways during her final hours my whole life changed. Its like a understanding came over me. My mother and I had a unusual relationship she did so many things that most people would consider bad or wrong she even did things that I could not stand. She got on my nervous more than anyone and If I was in the same room with her more than an hour I would be clawing at the door. I also could never understand her ways or why she did stuff the way she did. I always thought she was weak, stubborn, and I never listened to her. She was everything I hated I also forgave her many many times that no one else would. She could readily push my buttons within a minute. As time went on right before she passed I understood how much alike we are and how much strength it took for her to just survive. To this day I am amazed by her the woman who I thought was weak and had nothing to teach me was my life. She is everything I am to this day I live because of her, I survive because of her. I truly understand how you are feeling from the bottom of heart I understand truly. If I may suggest something. Take your phone or camera and record everything even the meaningless things. Record the two of you talking, record her life story like a biography, take notes on her history, ask questions. and above all just take your time when you spend time with her. She can leave behind her legacy too you this will also help you after she passes. I truly regret not doing that before when I had the chance because my biggest regret is not doing enough. That feeling will never go away nor should it. Anything can happen in a instance my whole life has turned around in a second. That is why I do not fight/argue with people or hold a grudge because I know from person experience anything can change at anytime for any reason. Just spend as much time together as you can.


I'm sorry to hear about your mother and thank you.
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