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Post Reply Are your parents morally obligated to love you?
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 11/4/15
The question is what is love of a parent really. It's a multi faceted thing, is it not? To teach the child the skills it will need when it finally faces the world or in some cases when they are no longer around, i.e have died. My adopted father taught me the value of hard work and how to defend myself in any fight. Did I think it somewhat harsh when I was growing up, maybe. Seeing the other kids doing the fun things kids do while I was busy doing my homework or my chores seemed suck ass. But when he died when I was seventeen I actually saw for the first time the extent of his love. I was already living on my own, admittedly he was helping with some of the bills but I already had a part time job that paid fairly well considering the limited hours I put in. After the funeral I simply worked even harder at school and graduated a year early then I got a better paying job. I was prepared to face the world simply because my Dad's love had been tough but all encompassing in the end. He made damn sure I was ready to face whatever the world cared to throw at me. That is what the love of parent is, not the fairy tale stuff. And to the extent yes a parent is morally obligated to. They made the choice to become parents, a choice made is a choice honoured to the bitter end if need be but it need not be bitter. If you can't honour your choices then you have no right to keep breathing in my mind.
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30 / M / Marshall, Michigan
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Posted 11/4/15

PurpleDjango wrote:

If they don't love you, they don't deserve to be parents.


^ This for most cases.
Posted 11/4/15
Not exactly. If you're a fucking black hole of a person, you can just be flushed like all the other turds.
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F / United Kingdom
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Posted 11/4/15 , edited 11/6/15
Well, parents really should love you no matter who you are or what decisions you make within reason. But if you commit a horrible crime like murder or rape then they no longer need to love you.
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23 / F
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Posted 11/4/15 , edited 11/6/15
I don't think it's a matter of morals. It's a matter of humanity. If a parent doesn't love their child something is seriously wrong with them, because they have begun or have lost, their humanity. Sure some parents can be harder or lazier or more clueless than others, but overall...if a parent doesn't love their child, that parent is acting inhumane. The only exception to this that I can think of is if a child kills one parent on purpose, and the other parent stops loving their child, or the child completely neglects the parents that actually cared for them as children. But that is a pretty harsh extreme.
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20 / M / California
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Posted 11/4/15
A parent will always love their child. It's everywhere. From books, movies, to even manga and anime. It's the most common family relationship theme. Even if they're going to be mean, that doesn't mean they don't love you.

Unless they're just straight up one of those useless parents that don't give a shit about you. Most commonly seen from divorced families. (I apologize to all those divorced families if I offended you.)
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24 / M
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Posted 11/4/15 , edited 11/6/15
I say yes you are morally obligated to love your child assuming you choose to raise it. If you just choose to not abort the child and put it up for adoption that is one thing.

But if you choose to live with that child you better damn well show that child love and guidance. Because that is the responsibility you take on by choosing to raise a child so if you aren't ready to love and take care of a child you aren't ready to be a parent.

That is just what parenting is and you can't just ignore the parts you don't like. You have to accept all that comes with being a parent be it good or bad.
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19 / M / "10/10" - IGN
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Posted 11/4/15
No, your parents are not obligated to love you. They're people like any one else, just because they made you doesn't really change anything. According to law they must feed and shelter you until you're 18 (in the U.S.) but that's where their obligations towards you stop.

As human beings, we assign the job of loving children to parents, because humans (being mostly intelligent), are born lacking strong instincts like most other animals and need to be taught almost everything. (Hence why humans mature over the course of 18ish years, which is very slow compared developmentally compared with other animals) So in society, in order to maintain order and way of life, parents have been encouraged to love their children because that's what makes them grow up into normal adults. If your parents don't love you, you most likely won't turn out normally; your views and trust of others will be extremely twisted. (That's BAD for your bloodline's survival)

That being said, there are many parents that never loved their children. This is just human history, European Kings would have illegitimate children, and conquerors like Genghis Khan also fathered far too many children to raise himself. Still many other parents abandon their children (legally, to adoption), divorce their SO, or simply do not love their children enough to raise them. The word "obligation" implies duty or bond that must be fulfilled on behalf of some external force, be it personal motivation, law, or persuasion. So no, parents aren't obligated to love their children. (but that's really sad, and most parents do love their children.)
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13 / F / California
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Posted 11/4/15
So does this mean you have to love and respect your parents?

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19 / M
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Posted 11/4/15
My parents are kickin me out next month. Love is a bitch haha
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F
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Posted 11/4/15 , edited 11/4/15
A parent who don't really care about their children and moreover, a parent who derives gratification from neglecting or abusing their offspring shouldn't have spawned those children in the first place.

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22 / United States
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Posted 11/6/15
Love is a nebulous term. It has no real meaning, only what you the individual believes that it means.

Parents are only morally obligated to take care of the children they have in a humane way until those children become adults. Nothing more, nothing less. Whether they are "loving" or not, is up to them.
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27 / M
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Posted 11/6/15
They're obligated to care for you until you're a certain age and the care must meet certain standards, but love is not necessarily required to provide proper care.

It's not like they can change how they feel about you just because they think about it. It's like asking if a person is morally obligated to be sad when their loved one dies.
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27 / M
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Posted 11/6/15
To feed, clothe, change diapers, care for them when they are sick, all without being paid... the love thing is kind of a prerequisite.
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F / Earth Realm
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Posted 11/6/15
I wish the answer was yes but that is not always the case. I was fortunate enough to grow up with love.
Tough love..my mom was not afraid to take off a shoe and beat us with it in public if we acted up
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