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Post Reply Horrors of growing old.
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13 / F / California
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Posted 11/8/15


Have you ever thought about shit that happens to your body when you grow older? Here, us old people discuss and answer questions that some of you young kids might want to really know lays waiting for you. Like your first gray hair is one thing, your first gray pubic hair is another thing. Finding out that you now have ear hair that likes to grow to a couple of inches is another. Blackheads and zits still happen. Foods you used to like, now you don't like, or can't eat. Farts might just fall out of your butt. Kids just won't stay off your fucking lawn.

So ask away what horrors await you!



WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN I SHALL WEAR PURPLE
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
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M / Unova Region
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Posted 11/8/15
I'm more scared of just entering actual reality when I get older. Not really about when I start getting my gray hairs.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 11/8/15 , edited 11/9/15
I'm more concerned about Dementia, Alzheimer's, skin thin and delicate enough to rip open while walking, negligent orderlies who allow flies to crawl into oxygen tubes and lay eggs in your lungs, bones that are all but delicate chinaware, the eventual inability to so much as wipe your own ass, the fact that the so-called "old person smell" is caused by gradually rotting internal organs, etc...
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F / Colorado
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Posted 11/8/15
Does it still work "down under"?
Posted 11/8/15
What is the speed limit when you are old?

Will I smell bad?

Thats all I can think of.
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F
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Posted 11/8/15
Technology, then vs. now: are you living in another world, or just the same one in a shinier package?
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17 / M / California
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Posted 11/8/15 , edited 11/8/15
It makes me sad that all of this will be in the past.

Shoot, I'm already emotional about the fact that I won`t always be a teenager.
Stuff like "Anohana" will be long in the forgotten time!


Sogno- 
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Posted 11/8/15
just make sure u have insurance

>.>
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16 / F / Always my room
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Posted 11/8/15 , edited 11/9/15
I just hope I am not rude, old people always seem to be rudest age group
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F / San Francisco
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Posted 11/8/15
I'm looking forward to the government being faced with the choice of supporting a massive, elderly population because, even with a college education, the majority of adults were not able to find a decent job to pay off their student loans or the alternative, wandering masses of elderly on the streets because they can't afford to keep a roof over their heads.

Remember, kiddies....


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20 / M
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Posted 11/8/15

macht_gut wrote:

Does it still work "down under"?


Just make sure to buy lots of viagra.
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13 / F / California
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Posted 11/8/15

aeb0717 wrote:

I'm more concerned about Dementia, Alzheimer's, skin thin and delicate enough to rip open while walking, negligent orderlies who allow flies to crawl into oxygen tubes and lay eggs in your lungs, bones that are all but delicate chinaware, the eventual inability to so much as wipe your own ass, the fact that the so-called "old pwrson smell" is caused by gradually rotting internal organs, etc...


If I start getting Alzheimer's I'll check the fuck out, I'm not that scared of death to go through those living deaths. I have noticed that cuts do seem to take longer to heal and scar more, and I use lotion to try and keep my skin from getting too dry.


DrOshawott wrote:

I'm more scared of just entering actual reality when I get older. Not really about when I start getting my gray hairs.


Fucking being an adult. I refuse lol.


macht_gut wrote:

Does it still work "down under"?


Control your blood pressure and it does. There will come a time when things get strange for both men and women though.


Seacactus wrote:

What is the speed limit when you are old?

Will I smell bad?

Thats all I can think of.


I just did over 100 in my truck the other day, I remember when I was younger there was a old timer that drove us around in his Buick Wildcat at like 95mph all the fucking time. He gave zero fucks. My reflexes and eyesight is still good so I don't worry about it much. Some old people do smell, but then again some fat people, some skinny people and well, people can just reek. Shower and use soap and you shouldn't.


BlueOni wrote:

Technology, then vs. now: are you living in another world, or just the same one in a shinier package?



In a way, the world hasn't advanced that much overall. Sure, I can take a crap and watch cat videos on a phone that is a shitload more powerful than the first computer I bought, but really there hasn't been any real major advancements made. Take cars, I had a car from 1970 that had a computer controlled fuel injection system. I mean I had one of these in the 90's



It is more disposable world. I mean people are so lazy now that cars have to come with TPS because people can't even check their own tire pressure. And all these people that claim to be so eco-groovy and all that, that I see trading in cars every 4 years with their hippy-dippy bumperstickers annoy the shit out of me. I do miss bakelite phones that you could totally beat someone senseless with.



Also if you had bigger fingers these phones made dialing fun.
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Posted 11/8/15
OK. So, aches and pains probably depends a bit on what you did for a living (someone working in a warehouse probably has shot shoulder, elbow, and knee joints while a white collar worker probably has carpal tunnel and vision problems). Is this a reasonable estimation, or does it all seem to just fall to shit equally?
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F / Colorado
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Posted 11/8/15
They say the first thing that goes is your memory. Second is your attention span. Is this true?
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13 / F / California
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Posted 11/8/15

macht_gut wrote:

They say the first thing that goes is your memory. Second is your attention span. Is this true?


Who are you and why are you asking me all these questions?

I'm going to have to say depends on the person. A lot of these things really depends on the person, and your genes. No amount of good living and wishful thinking is going to overcome all bad genes, that being said, you can get away with a lot of shit if you have good genes too. I still remember nightmares and stuff like that from when I was like 4 or 5.


BlueOni wrote:

OK. So, aches and pains probably depends a bit on what you did for a living (someone working in a warehouse probably has shot shoulder, elbow, and knee joints while a white collar worker probably has carpal tunnel and vision problems). Is this a reasonable estimation, or does it all seem to just fall to shit equally?


Once again, depends on the person, I have better than perfect vision in one eye, and horrible vision in my other eye. I'm training myself to shoot right handed, left eyed if that makes any sense to overcome my vision in my main eye going to shit. Let me think about my grandfather and his brothers, of course their sister outlived them, and she was salty as fuck until the day she died, but the brothers all went into different lines of work after working the mines and going into the war. They also all played football back in the 30s and 40s. They all worked on physical stuff well into their 70's and 80's and they all passed away about the same time, other than the one that died of cancer. So really, they all lived almost to 90 and some worked hard all their life and lived in a rough area to live in, very harsh weather, and others became teachers and the like, and all passed away within ten years of each other. All wore glasses too. The one that worked in the harsh area, he did learn how to swear a lot better than then others.

https://youtu.be/vjGXHAbGS1w

Would make these guys blush with the string of words he could lace together.
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