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Post Reply What would you do if your SO cheated
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 11/18/15

Freddy96NO wrote:

its not allways helpful to just "move on".. and I wish less did so just because its easier.
Even though it helps sometimes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lxRRCxfRvI


Sometimes its better to try to fix the relationship but when you do they usually end up cheating again so at that point it's like ....yeah fuck that shit.
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 11/18/15

Ryulightorb wrote: Sometimes its better to try to fix the relationship but when you do they usually end up cheating again so at that point it's like ....yeah fuck that shit.
well I did say not allways, and if its that hopless it could be more usefull leaving.
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 11/18/15
If this were to happen - I'd be devastated. We've been together for 10 years, married for 8.5 of those years. Have 4 kids together. It'd be hard to fathom and, at first, I would keep my distance, but I'd try to preserve the marriage. If she persisted in her infidelity, I'd end it. But, if it was a one time thing - I would try to seek counseling for both of us and try to fix the relationship. When you've been married and have kids, it's hard to just up and end things. You're tied together in so many different ways.
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Posted 11/18/15 , edited 11/18/15
Women cheat because they do not feel emotionally satisfied. Men cheat because they feel sexually rejected by their spouse.

If I am cheated on, then I know that I could not satisfy them emotionally; therefore, I am not the one for them. I would tell her that she has by the end of this weekend to move out all her stuff or find a new place; otherwise, I will evict her. Lastly, I would remove her from all sources so we no longer have contact including her family and friends.

If I am married, then it will be the same results. There is no going back. We'll deal with the kids separated and divorce.
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20 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 11/18/15
If my boyfriend/husband cheated, I wouldn't be all that fussy to be honest. It wouldn't shake me all.

I wouldn't break up or revenge cheat either, no biggie.
Posted 11/18/15
Hmmm if I walked in on it....kill them both. If not then leave and never speak to them again or let them see me again.
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46 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 11/18/15
What I did when my husband told me he was having an affair was divorce him. Took a year to work its way through the court system, and I had to take him back to court 5 times over the next 7-8 years for contempt because he didn't do what he'd agreed to in the divorce. I'm much better off without him. The IRS is still contacting me because he isn't paying his taxes and last I knew he was over $30,000 behind on them. American Express calls me because he's not paying those bills either. I've been divorced from him since 2007 and creditors still contact me trying to get him to pay up. Divorcing him was probably the best thing I ever did.
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22 / M / England
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Posted 11/18/15
I wouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 11/18/15

Razor_Girl wrote: The IRS is still contacting me because he isn't paying his taxes and last I knew he was over $30,000 behind on them. American Express calls me because he's not paying those bills either. I've been divorced from him since 2007 and creditors still contact me trying to get him to pay up. Divorcing him was probably the best thing I ever did.
before or all after the divorce? and I guess he didn't really care did he about the whole thing for the future etc?

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Posted 11/18/15
Snip!
Posted 11/18/15
Nothing, these days. I haven't been able to emotionally attach to anyone in 6 years so my chances of getting hurt, thus hurt someone back, is more or less zero.
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37 / M / Virginia USA
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Posted 11/18/15
I've been cheated on... badly... twice.

I'm just too nice in relationships.

I think this is why I am perpetually single.

I have issues with even TRYING to get into a serious relationship now because of how bad I was hurt in once of those particular instances of cheating. The other one was simply due to being young and dumb, but the other was by a girl I seriously even thought about proposing to. I'm still not over it and this was almost 15 years ago.
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19 / M / Kakariko Village
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Posted 11/18/15
I got cheated on a long time ago. My girlfriend was with one of my good friends until he told me about it. At first I was pissed, but once I calmed down I decided to just burn bridges with them and let it go. They're actually married now, so I guess they're both happier without me in their life, and I feel the same. Sometimes everything just works out.
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46 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 11/18/15
Freddy96NO the first year the IRS had issues with was the last year my ex and I did joint taxes. After the divorce, the IRS awarded me "innocent spouse relief" for that year. Apparently there have been several years since the divorce that he also has issues paying his taxes and they have contacted me. I've had to submit copies of the divorce and the innocent spouse relief paperwork to prove that I am not legally responsible for his financial difficulties.

We had been married 10 years. I married him, worked to put him through 4 years of medical school, worked while he served his 4 years of medical residency. We house hunted and bought a house (76 acre farm) the year after residency and 3 months after we moved in he announced he was having an affair with a student nurse and abandoned me. Divorce proceedings started and took a year before the divorce was finalized.

As for the future, we had all sorts of plans we had discussed and a lot of things we were supposed to discuss when he finished his medical training and we settled down. For instance we'd postponed planning a family till residency was over. We'd planned for me to go back to graduate school when he finished his program. We were discussing all sorts of renovations to the house we'd bought and improvements for the farm. I'd quit my job because it was a 50 mile drive to work and the part time job didn't pay enough to cover the gas, so I was managing the farm and we were raising black angus cattle on it.

At the time he broke with me, the only money we owed was the mortgage on the house and the payments on 2 cars and 1 farm truck, and a loan from his parents. By the time the divorce was finalized, he'd run about 6 credit cards up to their limits, owed money to the IRS and State Tax, Harley Davidson for two bikes, etc.
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22 / M / Michigan
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Posted 11/18/15

Razor_Girl wrote:

Freddy96NO the first year the IRS had issues with was the last year my ex and I did joint taxes. After the divorce, the IRS awarded me "innocent spouse relief" for that year. Apparently there have been several years since the divorce that he also has issues paying his taxes and they have contacted me. I've had to submit copies of the divorce and the innocent spouse relief paperwork to prove that I am not legally responsible for his financial difficulties.

We had been married 10 years. I married him, worked to put him through 4 years of medical school, worked while he served his 4 years of medical residency. We house hunted and bought a house (76 acre farm) the year after residency and 3 months after we moved in he announced he was having an affair with a student nurse and abandoned me. Divorce proceedings started and took a year before the divorce was finalized.

As for the future, we had all sorts of plans we had discussed and a lot of things we were supposed to discuss when he finished his medical training and we settled down. For instance we'd postponed planning a family till residency was over. We'd planned for me to go back to graduate school when he finished his program. We were discussing all sorts of renovations to the house we'd bought and improvements for the farm. I'd quit my job because it was a 50 mile drive to work and the part time job didn't pay enough to cover the gas, so I was managing the farm and we were raising black angus cattle on it.

At the time he broke with me, the only money we owed was the mortgage on the house and the payments on 2 cars and 1 farm truck, and a loan from his parents. By the time the divorce was finalized, he'd run about 6 credit cards up to their limits, owed money to the IRS and State Tax, Harley Davidson for two bikes, etc.


I'm glad I read things like this. Trying my best to keep myself out of these kind of messes while growing up.

If I were cheated on I'd probably sever ties with the person. Then go searching for the right one.
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