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Post Reply Fantasizing about Death
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23 / M / Abyss
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Posted 11/19/15
So... Something has been on my mind for a while. I have tried committing suicide before and nearly succeeded. I think the first time I tried was 5 years old, by jumping off the roof of my house. Ever since then, I have fantasized about my own death, wishing one would come true. Has anyone else fantasized about their death?

If so, is it the reaction of the people around you? What about the act itself? Is it the belief that you will finally be free?

In my case, I just want to leave this world that has shown so little love to me. Do you think it is wrong for someone who's life is utter hell to want to end it? Or do you think the guilt trip of telling that person to live for someone else and not themselves is the right choice?

Also, if you are, how often do you fantasize about your death? I would have to say 7-10 times a month on my end. It just seems so peaceful... I just want the eternal sleep in my life. It seems just so... beautiful I guess.

Share, or don't. Either way, its all good!
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Posted 11/19/15 , edited 11/20/15
I don't think it's a practical approach for me. I think the world could do with a lot of improving but I don't have a problem with myself being in it, to remove myself would make things worse when I could try to make things better to live in.
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Posted 11/19/15
It depends on what you mean, tbh I'm still stuck with a little past immaturity so I still fantasize about "badass" deaths. But I never fantasize because I'm actually looking forward to death(though I don't mind it of course).
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Posted 11/19/15
I don't fantasize about death because for me the word "fantasy " has a positive connotation, like a lie that makes you feel good but I have thought about suicide many times and my mind gets pretty ugly when I'm like that.

I have bouts of depression from time to time and when I think about death, I don't feel free or peaceful. During those times, I feel miserable and completely tied down to my vulnerability and mental weakness. It is when I tried to look at the good things in life, either a person or an inanimate object, that I feel good once again and free to pursue a better life.

I don't have a reason why I feel that way but I can assure you that it is because of myself and not because of the people around me.

I think when someone is in that state (wanting to kill themselves ) I wouldn't tell them "do what you want" or "think about your loved ones". I would just listen to them and offer them a shoulder to lean on.

Life is hard but also beautiful.
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Posted 11/19/15
I've never fantasized about dying but have thought many times about what happens after; it's kind of difficult to imagine that your consciousness just disappears like a dreamless, endless, sleep.

I have actually almost gotten hit by a car twice, probably would have died if I did. I remember only being glad that I didn't so I know that I don't want to die even if I do think about it from time to time.

I feel like it's the moments where you really can die that you realize just how much you'd rather live, but that's probably just instinct; we're not designed with a desire to die.
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Posted 11/19/15
I never fantasize about it. What kinda fantasy is that? I mean, I'm into some weird, rough shit but I'm never had a "fantasy" where I got off'd.

If you mean typical suicidal thoughts, than yes. I can be quite fragile in the mind.
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Posted 11/19/15

thatgirl202 wrote:

I don't fantasize about death because for me the word "fantasy " has a positive connotation, like a lie that makes you feel good but I have thought about suicide many times and my mind gets pretty ugly when I'm like that.

I have bouts of depression from time to time and when I think about death, I don't feel free or peaceful. During those times, I feel miserable and completely tied down to my vulnerability and mental weakness. It is when I tried to look at the good things in life, either a person or an inanimate object, that I feel good once again and free to pursue a better life.

I don't have a reason why I feel that way but I can assure you that it is because of myself and not because of the people around me.

I think when someone is in that state (wanting to kill themselves ) I wouldn't tell them "do what you want" or "think about your loved ones". I would just listen to them and offer them a shoulder to lean on.

Life is hard but also beautiful.


You are quite the rare gem when it comes to what you would say to someone who is suicidal. Most say "think of those you will hurt..." etc. It is just a massive guilt trip that pushes me down into despair even further. Hell, I managed to cut 40 years off my expected life with one attempt! I am halfway FREE! Dark humor aside...

I think a lot of it just has to do with how cruel human beings can me. I have had teachers tell me that "You don't belong with normal students." Or someone I called a friend say "I wish you would just up and die, you are a waste of a human being." and stuff like that. I think it started when I went to school in America (Pre-K all the way to my senior year in University!). Once stuff has been said like that for most of your life it just sinks in. I guess my way of dealing with it was just drinking, cutting and fantasizing about death.

I do agree with you though. You can not use fantasizing when you are depressed. That is truly painful. I do think, however when I am in my normal mood, it is the thing that calms me down the most. When I cant sleep at night, I will go on a 10 mile walk and just daydream about all kinds of deaths. It calms me down and I fall asleep within 10 minutes of the walk ending.

Seeing most people here, I just must be twisted beyond belief! Though, I always knew that! Thanks for the input everyone.
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Posted 11/19/15 , edited 11/19/15

Nyanotic wrote:

I've never fantasized about dying but have thought many times about what happens after; it's kind of difficult to imagine that your consciousness just disappears like a dreamless, endless, sleep.

I have actually almost gotten hit by a car twice, probably would have died if I did. I remember only being glad that I didn't so I know that I don't want to die even if I do think about it from time to time.

I feel like it's the moments where you really can die that you realize just how much you'd rather live, but that's probably just instinct; we're not designed with a desire to die.


There was one time I almost died that was not self inflicted. I was in Hunt, Texas. There is a river that runs through it. When I jumped about 20 feet out of a tree into the water my feet got stuck in the mud. I couldn't pull it up. I just sat there after about 30 seconds and said "Eh, this is where it ends." I ended up getting pulled out of the water by my friend. It was actually peaceful down there. Everything was so quiet and warm.
Posted 11/19/15

Dark_Alma wrote:

So... Something has been on my mind for a while. I have tried committing suicide before and nearly succeeded. I think the first time I tried was 5 years old, by jumping off the roof of my house. Ever since then, I have fantasized about my own death, wishing one would come true. Has anyone else fantasized about their death?

If so, is it the reaction of the people around you? What about the act itself? Is it the belief that you will finally be free?

In my case, I just want to leave this world that has shown so little love to me. Do you think it is wrong for someone who's life is utter hell to want to end it? Or do you think the guilt trip of telling that person to live for someone else and not themselves is the right choice?

Also, if you are, how often do you fantasize about your death? I would have to say 7-10 times a month on my end. It just seems so peaceful... I just want the eternal sleep in my life. It seems just so... beautiful I guess.

Share, or don't. Either way, its all good!


Well for me it depends. Some times I want to die and star over again. But since I don't believe there reincarnation or any guaranties I will keep my memory or be human again. Nor there heaven or hell, nor do I care for them if they do exist. I just keep going forward. My hopes are 3 things. VR. Aliens will come and would no kill us, and I will be able to go to another planet. Somebody invents immortality. Wolverine or the anime kind of immortality.
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Posted 11/19/15



Well for me it depends. Some times I want to die and star over again. But since I don't believe there reincarnation or any guaranties I will keep my memory or be human again. Nor there heaven or hell, nor do I care for them if they do exist. I just keep going forward. My hopes are 3 things. VR. Aliens will come and would no kill us, and I will be able to go to another planet. Somebody invents immortality. Wolverine or the anime kind of immortality.


I believe the same stuff as you, though instead of aliens coming (though saying I boned an alien would be pretty epic... Unless they are the Xenomorphs...) I think the only think that could make life bearable for me would be leaving America and getting to either Canada or Northern Europe (Germany, Iceland, Scottland, Ireland, maybe Brittan). The only time I remember being welcome by people was in Germany. I remember the smiles as I was like 3 pouring the perfect beers during a Maifest. I really miss my time there. However, the chances of me getting a job in what I want in Germany is very low. Even though I am fairly fluent in the language. Oh, the land down under would be fairly fun too.

Also the fun one could have with VR.. hehehe. Many thinks, no need to fantasize about anything! Just get a game/mod for it. I can see it now. Nekopara 18+. I know a few people who would be happy. Also, skydiving without a parachute would be fun! Crazy adrenaline rush.
Posted 11/19/15
\
I WANNA DIE LIKE THIS
ztdz 
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17 / M / Mexico
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Posted 11/19/15
ok this is weird but seriusly i have never fantasized abaut my own death but sometimes i think that if im in a bad situation i will give mi life for the others like a hero hahaha but i had never care about being remembered haha or sometimes when i sick i start to think what would kill me faster
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 11/19/15
I think more about my funeral than my death.
I want live music, the best tequila, and good food.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 11/19/15
Fantasize? No. Thought about? 'Course.

Need to pull yourself together man. You can't fall apart by simply playing video games and receiving a small dose of criticism from another player. Walking is good it stops chaotic thinking. Unless you're intentionally screwin' yourself.

Read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl. You can even e-read it. I don't fuckin' care. You need to help yourself.

I could sit here and comfort you, but history has taught me it doesn't help. You guys just go at it again the next time you get upset.

Read the book. If you need professional help get that as well. They won't be able to help you though if you refuse to help yourself.

I'm not telling you what you want to hear, I'm telling you what you need to hear. Get off your ass.

Posted 11/19/15

Dark_Alma wrote:




Well for me it depends. Some times I want to die and star over again. But since I don't believe there reincarnation or any guaranties I will keep my memory or be human again. Nor there heaven or hell, nor do I care for them if they do exist. I just keep going forward. My hopes are 3 things. VR. Aliens will come and would no kill us, and I will be able to go to another planet. Somebody invents immortality. Wolverine or the anime kind of immortality.


I believe the same stuff as you, though instead of aliens coming (though saying I boned an alien would be pretty epic... Unless they are the Xenomorphs...) I think the only think that could make life bearable for me would be leaving America and getting to either Canada or Northern Europe (Germany, Iceland, Scottland, Ireland, maybe Brittan). The only time I remember being welcome by people was in Germany. I remember the smiles as I was like 3 pouring the perfect beers during a Maifest. I really miss my time there. However, the chances of me getting a job in what I want in Germany is very low. Even though I am fairly fluent in the language. Oh, the land down under would be fairly fun too.

Also the fun one could have with VR.. hehehe. Many thinks, no need to fantasize about anything! Just get a game/mod for it. I can see it now. Nekopara 18+. I know a few people who would be happy. Also, skydiving without a parachute would be fun! Crazy adrenaline rush.


I rather tick my dick in a meat-grinder than to ever fuck a Xenomorph. Hell to the NO.

Well VR has his advantages, like feeling like a bad ass and actually your action matter more. 18 VR with mods sound like fun. Skydiving sound like fun.... Provide I don't just die thou.

VR Nekopara. I will pay anything for that. I even become somebody bitch if I can play that in VR. Chocolate and Vanilla best girls.


But like I say is hope, I don't think it will happen in my life time but there always hope.




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