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Post Reply Fantasizing about Death
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Posted 11/20/15

hemicuda2 wrote:
Hopefully us turning into machines and able to transfer our now coded brains into any virtual world, the idea of living forever without any worry's in a anime style world makes me want to stay alive for when that time comes and i know that it may very well not but I have to have something to look forward to.


Yeah, but then they'll probably make you have to ride a space train with some beautiful depressing blonde chick in a Russian dress just to get it...
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Posted 11/20/15 , edited 11/20/15
The only thing anyone truly has and can say it is yours is your imagination. Fantasize away and pretend to the rest of the world that everything is fine. Otherwise, they will tell you to do stupid things like go see a specialist.
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Posted 11/20/15

[/spoilers]

Someone is acting like they know me. The girl I loved commit suicide. Two of my close friends commit suicide as well. My grandma on my dads side died from cancer and my grandpa on my mom's side died from cancer as well.

I suggest you drop your "almighty" man act and grow up yourself. Don't assume about others without the proper information. That post was incredibly petty of you.
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Posted 11/20/15 , edited 11/20/15
So long you don't want to talk about it (I know a Russian friend that had a girlfriend and she died of her boyfriend "ex" and did so much horrible stuff to, but he is on living like he "used" to)
how why what?
Did she not have much trust or really depressive?

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Posted 11/20/15



Na, I am not using Asperger's as an excuse. What I am saying though is that Americans are not willing to learn about said stuff and then bully the kid. You are aware many of the school shootings were done by kids with Asperger's that were bullied to the point of wanting to fight back? That is disturbingly common today...

I have Asperger's and I have come to conclusion with that. However, I will never have a relationship or a kid due to the knowledge that my genes are dominant for a male. There is a 75% chance if I have a boy as a kid... he will have Asperger's. In no good conscience can I ever bring someone into this world in fear they would have to deal with what I have.

Also, the test was a 2014 one done with a survey of ~300 people. Looking at the methods and the original article, it looks incredibly credible. That and its from the University of Cambridge. Reading the original article helps quite a bit!

2nd also. Speaking isn't hard for me. Speaking on what humans want to hear is the issue. I could talk to someone for 4 hours straight on the plate tectonics between the North American-Eurasian plate. Who wants to hear that though? Yet, I cant even tell when they are uncomfortable. I can not read facial expressions or tones for the life of me. My mom had to tell me "(Insert name here), I am mad." It takes a special kind of person in America to be able to talk to me. They are more common in Germany, where the people are not so fake and small talk is eliminated for the most part. I also get to be blunt in Germany, YAY!
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Posted 11/20/15

Freddy96NO wrote:

So long you don't want to talk about it (I know a Russian friend that had a girlfriend and she died of her boyfriend "ex" and did so much horrible stuff to, but he is on living like he "used" to)
how why what?
Did she not have much trust or really depressive?



Her parents and her brother died in a car crash. It was about a year later that she killed herself. I was too far away to be able to get to her in person. It was a long 6 hours before I go to her home and found her. Her death's anniversary is actually this Thanksgiving (ironically). That one hit rather hard.
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Posted 11/20/15

supaspem wrote:

The only thing anyone truly has and can say it is yours is your imagination. Fantasize away and pretend to the rest of the world that everything is fine. Otherwise, they will tell you to do stupid things like go see a specialist.


Specialists are so... annoying. I did have one I enjoyed talking to... though not about myself. He had a dojo and let me practice kenjutsu there. Getting to fight people has always been a great way to de-stress.
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Posted 11/20/15

Dark_Alma wrote:


supaspem wrote:

The only thing anyone truly has and can say it is yours is your imagination. Fantasize away and pretend to the rest of the world that everything is fine. Otherwise, they will tell you to do stupid things like go see a specialist.


Specialists are so... annoying. I did have one I enjoyed talking to... though not about myself. He had a dojo and let me practice kenjutsu there. Getting to fight people has always been a great way to de-stress.


Right, well, I wish you good luck on the conversation that this thread opens up for you. If your happy place is in fantasizing about death, what is wrong with that? Nothing.
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Posted 11/20/15 , edited 11/20/15

Dark_Alma wrote:
2nd also. Speaking isn't hard for me. Speaking on what humans want to hear is the issue. I could talk to someone for 4 hours straight on the plate tectonics between the North American-Eurasian plate. Who wants to hear that though? Yet, I cant even tell when they are uncomfortable. I can not read facial expressions or tones for the life of me. My mom had to tell me "(Insert name here), I am mad." It takes a special kind of person in America to be able to talk to me. They are more common in Germany, where the people are not so fake and small talk is eliminated for the most part. I also get to be blunt in Germany, YAY!


Don't worry, most of us on forums are quite able to distinguish an Asperger's poster on the Internet for the above tectonic reasons.
Getting them not to talk about tectonics is the hard part.


Dark_Alma wrote:


supaspem wrote:

The only thing anyone truly has and can say it is yours is your imagination. Fantasize away and pretend to the rest of the world that everything is fine. Otherwise, they will tell you to do stupid things like go see a specialist.


Specialists are so... annoying. I did have one I enjoyed talking to... though not about myself. He had a dojo and let me practice kenjutsu there. Getting to fight people has always been a great way to de-stress.


Because it's easier than relating to them, when you can't.

I'm not saying it's survivor's guilt, more that there's a sense that if someone else close to you dies, you start wondering whether have to too, partly out of "courtesy" and partly out of a feeling of "Why do they get all the breaks?"
Because they earned them, pal. You don't get dessert until you finish your meat.
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Posted 11/20/15

Dark_Alma wrote:
Her parents and her brother died in a car crash. It was about a year later that she killed herself. I was too far away to be able to get to her in person. It was a long 6 hours before I go to her home and found her. Her death's anniversary is actually this Thanksgiving (ironically). That one hit rather hard.
Sorry for going so deeply on this, hope you don't hate that.

Yeah.. I have seen some of those roads in america its horrible.. feels so unsafe in general, I guess you had contact with her then something was wrong so you checked? but damn and so far away yeah could be damaging + that with the familiy) for better or worse its good you found her is one strong challange, that could make you a bit stronger for future

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Posted 11/20/15



Because it's easier than relating to them, when you can't.

I'm not saying it's survivor's guilt, more that there's a sense that if someone else close to you dies, you start wondering whether have to too, partly out of "courtesy" and partly out of a feeling of "Why do they get all the breaks?"
Because they earned them, pal. You don't get dessert until you finish your meat.


So the three friend who commit suicide earned their break? I am glad to see you agree suicide is a right option! We can at least start off on a good conversation there.

I just have been ungodly unlucky when it comes to suicide. One of the main reasons is I detest guns. I tried a bottle of rat poison and wine, which other than being ungodly painful, fucked up my organs, but I lived. I also tried hanging myself. I learned that you have to break your neck when you hang yourself or you will dangle for an hour! Funny right? I also tried jumping off a bridge and just fucked up my legs. Finally Carbon Monoxide poisoning is probably the best way. Sadly I got caught in the act of that one. Parents got out early from school due to bad weather.

I guess I just have to try and commit suicide in a more efficient way so I can "eat my meat before I get my dessert."

Yes, this was poking fun at you, but the first and second paragraphs are true.
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Posted 11/20/15

Freddy96NO wrote:


Dark_Alma wrote:
Her parents and her brother died in a car crash. It was about a year later that she killed herself. I was too far away to be able to get to her in person. It was a long 6 hours before I go to her home and found her. Her death's anniversary is actually this Thanksgiving (ironically). That one hit rather hard.
Sorry for going so deeply on this, hope you don't hate that.

Yeah.. I have seen some of those roads in america its horrible.. feels so unsafe in general, I guess you had contact with her then something was wrong so you checked? but damn and so far away yeah could be damaging + that with the familiy) for better or worse its good you found her is one strong challange, that could make you a bit stronger for future



It is completely fine. I need to get over it some day or another. I think maybe next year, it may be better. I just have been in a funk for about the last 2-3 weeks. She sure knew how to make sure a man wouldn't forget her haha. Still wish I was able to do more for her... even if it is out of selfishness.
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Posted 11/20/15 , edited 11/20/15
Yeah sometimes its good to accept what happend in the past and move on, while standing strong fighting:

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Posted 11/20/15 , edited 11/20/15

Dark_Alma wrote:
So the three friend who commit suicide earned their break? I am glad to see you agree suicide is a right option! We can at least start off on a good conversation there.

I just have been ungodly unlucky when it comes to suicide. One of the main reasons is I detest guns. I tried a bottle of rat poison and wine, which other than being ungodly painful, fucked up my organs, but I lived. I also tried hanging myself. I learned that you have to break your neck when you hang yourself or you will dangle for an hour! Funny right? I also tried jumping off a bridge and just fucked up my legs. Finally Carbon Monoxide poisoning is probably the best way. Sadly I got caught in the act of that one. Parents got out early from school due to bad weather.

I guess I just have to try and commit suicide in a more efficient way so I can "eat my meat before I get my dessert."

Yes, this was poking fun at you, but the first and second paragraphs are true.


Or you could try living. Yes, this involves getting out and putting up with/relating to other people around you, but it's just as much of an uphill battle for normal people.

If you have such Wile E. Coyote-like bad luck at not being able to fall off cliffs, imagine what use you could put your unnatural focus and obsession to in your community. Like maybe, helping others with Asberger's, or volunteering time to raise awareness for some political questions, or maybe that soup kitchen in your town needs one more slopper on a Thursday night. Even getting out to a book or discussion group once or twice a month will give you that helpful practice in talking to other human beings.
I know it's a line out of a Bill Forsyth comedy, but there's got to be more to life than just suicide.
(And that, coming from a character in the movie who tried to drown himself by holding his breath and sticking his face in a bowl of corn flakes--Which, admittedly, you may not have tried yet, but... )
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Posted 11/20/15



Or you could try living. Yes, this involves getting out and putting up with/relating to other people around you, but it's just as much of an uphill battle for normal people.

If you have such Wile E. Coyote-like bad luck at not being able to fall off cliffs, imagine what use you could put your unnatural focus and obsession to in your community. Like maybe, helping others with Asberger's, or volunteering time to raise awareness for some political questions, or maybe that soup kitchen in your town needs one more slopper on a Thursday night. Even getting out to a book or discussion group once or twice a month will give you that helpful practice in talking to other human beings.
I know it's a line out of a Bill Forsyth comedy, but there's got to be more to life than just suicide.


I love how derailed this thread has become though. I am NOT trying to commit suicide. I did. I gave up. Life clings to me like cancer.

What this thread was about was fantasizing about death. Since I can not succeed, this is the one thing that is comforting. Don't worry, I am done trying suicide. Just doesn't work for me. I like your Wile E. Coyote luck reference. It is so true. I do help others with Asperger's. I tend to frequent WrongPlanet quite often. Politics in the USA disgust me, so I have no interest there. I also helped at a Christian soup house till some homeless man somehow found out I was Atheist and threw a hot bowl of soup at me. I stopped going to soup houses after that. Cooked that damn soup for 3 hours to have it thrown at me. Bah. Americans hate Atheists so damn much. I do enjoy my reading, but the books I really enjoy reading are in German. Most people cant read German! Of course there are American books I love too. All of HP Lovecraft's books, Tom Clancy's, and Michael Crichton among others. Then again, I haven't found a book group interested in any of these either.
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