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Post Reply Do you have a strong backbone?
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 11/19/15 , edited 11/19/15
How do you deal with adversity? Do you normally speak up to obvious jerks/bullied even though they're bigger than you and your closest safety option wouldn't save you for a good 30 seconds?

Can circle jerks of general pariah tendencies run you off?

It seems everyone has a breaking point. Lots of people leave groups/events/forums/venues if they feel like everyone is ganging up on them. They feel that if everyone dislikes them, they might as well leave.

I'll be first to admit I can crumble pretty easily depending on what the attacker is going after. If they mention sociopathic tendencies or bring up my ex too often, I'll break down and run away crying. I've done it before!

What about you? Are you easily run off? Or do you see it as "getting away from idiots"? I used to play BlazBlue, Halo and Smash Bros here in Fort Worth, every Saturday night but I left after people kept harassing me because of stuff I said in the Skype group I was in with them.

EDIT: Not "harassment", but more like just criticism. Gah! I'm still biased...

Don't be shy! *Pinches your cheek!* Everyone snaps at some point! I'd imagine this topic would cause some emotions, so I'd advise everyone hold back in this topic.
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24 / M / St.Louis - USA
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Posted 11/19/15
Maybe
Posted 11/19/15 , edited 11/19/15
As long as you don't throw a punch at me I don't care what people say. Or so I'd like to think. I'd probably just be a bit sad if you punched me too.

Wait I just realised I don't have one.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 11/19/15
It really depends on the situation.
I'm not going to put any effort into being around someone I don't want anything to do with.
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25 / M / New Mexico
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Posted 11/19/15
First of all, don't say "circle jerks".

But every time I've noticed one person picking on one other person. I've helped the bullied. Its 2v1 at that point. If theres more than one I report it. Same if it looks like a weapon is involved. I was bullied alot in school and I used to spend alot of time thinking back to the many incidents. It used to make me furious and wish I'd done something else. So whenever I witness bullying I just get furious, and I admit I don't always think things through.

I even started answering before reading the entire original post.

If its just criticism then just ignore, talk back, or walk away/hang up. The most important thing is that you don't let it affect you. I realize this is easier for some people than others. Sorry if you were asking for advice, I'm not good at that. Just understand there will always be douchebags in the world, and giving them the reaction they want is just giving them their victory.
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 11/19/15

undead_garrison wrote:

First of all, don't say "circle jerks".

But every time I've noticed one person picking on one other person. I've helped the bullied. Its 2v1 at that point. If theres more than one I report it. Same if it looks like a weapon is involved. I was bullied alot in school and I used to spend alot of time thinking back to the many incidents. It used to make me furious and wish I'd done something else. So whenever I witness bullying I just get furious, and I admit I don't always think things through.

I even started answering before reading the entire original post.

If its just criticism then just ignore, talk back, or walk away/hang up. The most important thing is that you don't let it affect you. I realize this is easier for some people than others. Sorry if you were asking for advice, I'm not good at that. Just understand there will always be douchebags in the world, and giving them the reaction they want is just giving them their victory.


I told the TO(Tournament Organizer) that they did shit like that. And he said he would listen to each and everyone of them so he could personally chat with them about their attitudes.

He tried hosting mini tourneys where they weren't invited. But once I went back to the "main" events. People were calling me all kinds of names for having a "baby tourney" without them cause they were dickheads. The ones that were overly nice always had an agenda, and if I rejected whatever they had in mind. They'd be like "I know you're cooler than they think you are." And other shit.

I wasn't looking for advice, but as you can see, I definitely left, because they proverbially fucked my shit up. I stopped competing altogether in my hometown after cross groups spilled into my Halo party from Smash/BlazBlue.

And this is ALL from talking like how I do on here(very up front and statistic based) and they turned into hounding demons.

Thanks for your comment, and I hope to hear more about you. Since everyone here is familiar with at least one of my mental breakdowns.
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M / Los Angeles
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Posted 11/19/15
I dunno, I'll leave that up to my buddies Smith and Wesson. Oh wait, they're not here? Well, I have a left fist and a right fist. Who do you want to talk to first?
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24 / M
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Posted 11/20/15
I guess it depends on the topic.
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21 / M / Canada eh
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Posted 11/20/15
I can take criticism. It allows me to see what needs to be fixed and make myself better.

It honestly takes a lot for me to reach my breaking point, because generally, I'm a really optimistic guy.

But you'll want to watch out if you manage to make me lose my cool
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25 / M / New Mexico
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Posted 11/20/15


Today is actually my first day on the CR forums despite the years of using their service. So I am unfamiliar with everyone actually.

I suppose as a female your experience in these situations is different than my own, and unfortunately these things may never stop. I know that's not what you want to hear, it isn't for anybody, but the main reason you're having these issues is because these people are souring the things you enjoy. No?

From the way you started this post I take it you already know what you need to do. You need to strengthen your own will. When you think back to these bad times, forcibly start thinking about the good aspects of it all. This is an exercise I've done myself quite a bit. It's not easy, and you might have to force those good memories into place several times over the course of a few seconds. Taking a deep breath when you do this also has a positive physiological reaction. If you honestly can't think of anything good about them, then maybe you should stop, because you apparently don't enjoy them as much as you thought.

When I was young I always thought that I would be an adult when I turned 18, then 21, then at the next significant turn in my life. But I've felt that the true turning point is when you've accepted that there are things you can do and things you never can. I'm not saying you can't be an astronaut if you put your mind to it. I am saying that some people will never change until they change themselves, only by their own actions.

Here is something else that might help you cope. This might sound pretty bad, but another thing I used to do to cheer myself up was look at the misfortune of others. I don't mean just people you know, look up depressing stories on the internet. I always end up feeling bad for the people, and realize in hindsight that that my problems aren't nearly as bad.

These things that I've said all sound good in my head, and I'm certainly not any kind of therapist, adviser, or leader. Just remember that you are who you say you are, not who they say you are.

I watch too much anime.
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17 / M / The Bay
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Posted 11/20/15
It really depends on the topic, if it's something really fucking stupid, then I'll walk away. Like if they're trying to make me cry over something useless, then why stay, or I laugh it off. If it's something that's important to me, then I'll fight, even if it's unfair because I'm stupid.

The latter is vary unlikely though, I used to have anger issues when I was younger, but now I'm known for how chill I am. Like why dwell on thing's that don't matter or you can't change? Like someone told me "Your the biggest stoner that has never smoked" which I guess is a compliment haha

If the latter does come though, lets just say I'm not the chill happy guy anymore, some of the dark thoughts that run through my head even disturb me sometimes...
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20 / M / Finland
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Posted 11/20/15
I don't have much of a backbone. I take criticism very seriously and personally so if I hear shit all the time and have a way out, I'm quick to take it. I rarely get angry or particularly emotional but I will obsess about it in my mind. Last time I confronted someone much bigger than me was more than 3 years ago.
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29 / M / Atlanta, GA, USA
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Posted 11/20/15

Magical-Soul wrote:

How do you deal with adversity?


I get catty. Doesn't everyone?

Worst thing that happens is that I have to be the adult and try to solve things diplomatically. Just deliver some tired old make-up lines from the movies and get on with life. Fortunately, I haven't met anyone so repulsive that they won't act civil after they've been buttered up a bit.
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 11/20/15

Kavalion wrote:


Magical-Soul wrote:

How do you deal with adversity?


I get catty. Doesn't everyone?

Worst thing that happens is that I have to be the adult and try to solve things diplomatically. Just deliver some tired old make-up lines from the movies and get on with life. Fortunately, I haven't met anyone so repulsive that they won't act civil after they've been buttered up a bit.


What if they're on a low fat diet and are not fans of being buttered up?
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Posted 11/20/15

undead_garrison wrote:

First of all, don't say "circle jerks".

But every time I've noticed one person picking on one other person. I've helped the bullied. Its 2v1 at that point. If theres more than one I report it. Same if it looks like a weapon is involved. I was bullied alot in school and I used to spend alot of time thinking back to the many incidents. It used to make me furious and wish I'd done something else. So whenever I witness bullying I just get furious, and I admit I don't always think things through.

I even started answering before reading the entire original post.

If its just criticism then just ignore, talk back, or walk away/hang up. The most important thing is that you don't let it affect you. I realize this is easier for some people than others. Sorry if you were asking for advice, I'm not good at that. Just understand there will always be douchebags in the world, and giving them the reaction they want is just giving them their victory.


I am the same but I've decided to never help some that get bullied ever again (girls mainly). They always seem to go right back to whoever bullied them. I think their need to be recognised is what gets them bullied. They're so desperate for attention that no wonder they're losers.

I was never bullied in school but I had a family member that was bullied mentally and she was just so stupid.
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