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In My Quest To Become Japanese, Which Of These Choices Are The Best?
Posted 11/22/15 , edited 11/22/15
How do I become Japanese? I desperately want to be Japanese, and I think I have found a couple of ways to do so.

1. Drain my blood, than replace it with Japanese Blood, then get plastic surgery to alter my features to be a pretty Japanese Bishonen.

2. Get a time machine, go back in time, kidnap my pregnant mother, and force her to give birth in Japan, thus qualifying me for Japan Citizenship.

3. Get my brain placed into a Japanese body.


So, which of these three choices are more likely to succeed?
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 11/22/15
Marry a figma.

Just make sure it was made in Japan so it that qualifies for nationality.
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22 / M / Michigan
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Posted 11/22/15
Watch every anime ever made and you will ascend to the next level.

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25 / M / UK
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Posted 11/22/15
Number two may have issues assuming the multiverse theory is correct. One and three are more likely.
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 11/22/15 , edited 11/23/15
None of the above instead:

Locate a group of biologists and geneticists and have them genetically alter your DNA so that you become the perfect Japanese. Bonus points if the scientists can get you to shit ramen and piss green tea. Then have the same scientists bring your waifu to life, fall in love and then marry her. Then spawn a hoard of min-PeripheralVisionaries, assume command of our hoard, conquer Japan and proclaim yourself emperor. End result: you become the emperor of Japan and not only become Japanese, you become a Japanese Icon that you subjects will love and ardour.

PS bonus points if you genetically engineer your hoards into super soldiers pick the best 20 to be your generals and conquer the galaxy.
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19 / M / UK
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Posted 11/22/15
a Ritual in the Dark Magick™ to lord lucifer might also be a Plan
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M / オランダ
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Posted 11/22/15
Peri going strong as always I see. Gambarre !(•̀o•́)ง
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27 / M / at the Earls wait
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Posted 11/22/15
For number 1 you have to get the blood yourself cause a the blood bank they will probably mix it up with Chinese or Korean .

Another plan get an age Ray turn yourself into a child go to Japan and find a lonely couple that wants to adopt you.
Posted 11/22/15

akumalevel4 wrote:

For number 1 you have to get the blood yourself cause a the blood bank they will probably mix it up with Chinese or Korean .

Another plan get an age Ray turn yourself into a child go to Japan and find a lonely couple that wants to adopt you.


Ofc! Than my step imouto will try to have sexy time with me!
Posted 11/22/15 , edited 11/22/15
Eating a Japanese. Didn't work.
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F
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Posted 11/22/15
Look, this is a lot easier than you're making it out to be. All you have to do print up a blank copy of some genealogical test's results sheet, fill in the blanks how you want them to look using a word processor, and then whip the copy out whenever you're challenged on your claim that you're Japanese. Double points if you circle the important parts in big red ink. Don't put arrows around the circles, though. Then you'd look kind of desperate.
mrya21 
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Posted 11/22/15
I'd go with the brain one, but to make it ethical find a Japanese person who is willing to swap bodies with you so that there is no loss of life or desecration of a deceased person.
Posted 11/22/15
Just marry me.
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M / The Nightosphere
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Posted 11/22/15
Commit Sudoku, your desire to become Japanese will cause to to be reborn as a Japanese in both mind and body.

Good luck on your quest.
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16 / M / Ente Isla
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Posted 11/22/15
You must first draw a red circle in the center of the room. Throw all your manga, anime, figurines, hug-pillows, and other weeb shit into this circle. This will be your sacrifice to Oyashiro-sama. Before you begin to do anything else though, you must complete this sacrifice. This is an incredibly crucial part to ensuring that the ritual will work properly.

Go murder a man with an overly-sized cartoonish mallet and then steal his plane ticket to Japan. Hop aboard the flight and then exit out once it lands. You'll be in Japan and there you will have to kidnap three lolis. Once you've done this successfully, climb to the top of Mt. Fuji and scream, "I am an idiot," as loud as you possibly can. Following that, board a flight back to your home and bring your lolis into the home. Pull out a kitchen knife, stab them to death, and drench all your weeb shit in their blood. Don't worry about disposing of the corpses. Once you're Japanese, that won't matter.

Now you must sprinkle Doritos onto the sacrifice while chanting the word, "Desu," repeatedly. Do this eight times and then remove the cap from the sacred bottle of Mountain Dew. Pour it all over your loli-blood drenched belongings and then light them all on fire. Lastly, jump into the flames and hug them as tight as you can.

Congratulations! You've successfully become a victim of third-degree burns.
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