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Post Reply Do you have to love your family?
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18 / F / Hell
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/24/15
Recently, someone has asked me why do I dislike my family members. Usually people who ask me this pull out the "But they're family its okay" excuse when you dislike a relative for treating you badly.

I don't know if its because the family oriented mentality of many people who can't imagine doing anything but loving their relatives. Many people claim its loyalty to those who have raised them and put them into this world. Some people say it gives them guilt because their family has done so much for them. Why is it so frowned upon by others to dislike relatives? There are tons of reasons but, Its not necessarily something I can wrap my head around , so I'd like to hear the thoughts of others.

Can it be boiled down to Culture? Country? Morals? or something completely different.

Is it okay to not love your relatives?
Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/23/15
I don't love my some members of my family but if you live with them, you got to be at peace with them or get out.
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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 11/23/15
No you don't, those who say 'but they're family' don't know what experiences you've had, nor have they had any bad experiences. They might then say, 'Oh I have' but a bad experience to them is, one time they caught one of them talking behind their back about some trivial matter. They just don't understand how bad it can be for some people.
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22 / M / Fraxinus
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Posted 11/23/15
"Obligated love" can only go so far, in my opinion. I mean, would your parents or siblings be allowed to abuse you, with it still being okay "because they're family"? Or if you're a neglected child who rarely interacts with their parents in any meaningful way, would that child still be required to love their parents?

So, no. I don't think love between family members is completely unconditional.
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 11/23/15
Short answer no really. My biological parents abandoned me the moment I was born. I grew up in a group home for the first four years of my life before meeting the greatest man in existence , my adoptive father. I hardly think I am required to love my biological parents am I just because they are family.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 11/23/15
No. Family isn't blood. Family is respect and shared joy.

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22 / M / Germany
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/25/15

DanteVSTheWorld wrote:

No you don't, those who say 'but they're family' don't know what experiences you've had, nor have they had any bad experiences. They might then say, 'Oh I have' but a bad experience to them is, one time they caught one of them talking behind their back about some trivial matter. They just don't understand how bad it can be for some people.


Case closed. Move on, ppl.
Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/25/15
You don't have to love shit if you don't want to. Don't let someone else's excuse be a shitty reason for you. They don't know shit.
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22 / F / NY
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Posted 11/23/15
you're not obligated to love them under any circumstances just because they're genetically related to you but if your family treats you well you'd naturally appreciate them/help them out in the future anyway. the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
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40 / M / USA
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Posted 11/23/15
I don't love anyone so I'm going with hell no. I like my parents and little brother, but love is a strong strong statement... No one has to do anything.
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/23/15
My parents love me but on many occasions they tell me that they hate me. I tend to ignore people and I never seem to get angry, so it's understandable that they get frustrated with me. I love them, do things for them and I've never once told them that I hate them so you'd assume they'd have no reason to get angry with me
Just yesterday, my mom started to choke on her food and everyone went to her panicking. I instructed someone to give her water and everyone was getting mad at me for laughing. You have to understand, they were being a little too dramatic. I told her that's what she gets for eating too quickly
I also get on my siblings' nerves because they end up always losing when they argue with me
In my experience, people who really hate their parents don't really talk about it because they fear they'll hear about it
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19 / M / "10/10" - IGN
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Posted 11/23/15

Frenzify wrote:

"Obligated love" can only go so far, in my opinion. I mean, would your parents or siblings be allowed to abuse you, with it still being okay "because they're family"? Or if you're a neglected child who rarely interacts with their parents in any meaningful way, would that child still be required to love their parents?

So, no. I don't think love between family members is completely unconditional.


This --^

No, you don't have to love your family. In fact, most parents don't love their children on birth. You have to earn your parents' love, and they have to earn yours as well.
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18 / M / Denmark Boy
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Posted 11/23/15
Ye they are cool
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26 / M / Your friendly nei...
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Posted 11/23/15
No
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20 / M / Disboard
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Posted 11/23/15
I don't exactly love my family not because they did something wrong is just like there not my cup of tea, it's hard to explain like i don't hate them and i do respect and thank them but i can't say i love them umm idk how to really explain it but yeah lol
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