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Post Reply Do you have to love your family?
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23 / M / Šumeru.
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/23/15

Pean-p wrote:

Recently, someone has asked me why do I dislike my family members. Usually people who ask me this pull out the "But they're family its okay" excuse when you dislike a relative for treating you badly.

I don't know if its because the family oriented mentality of many people who can't imagine doing anything but loving their relatives. Many people claim its loyalty to those who have raised them and put them into this world. Some people say it gives them guilt because their family has done so much for them. Why is it so frowned upon by others to dislike relatives? There are tons of reasons but, Its not necessarily something I can wrap my head around , so I'd like to hear the thoughts of others.

Can it be boiled down to Culture? Country? Morals? or something completely different.

Is it okay to not love your relatives?


I've never had parents or anything that could be considered "family", so I do not really understand the way people think about this.

To me, it's weird that some people think that you HAVE to love or put up with someone you can't stand, just because they're "family". Being loyal to people who treat you badly just sounds stupid.

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16 / M / Devon, UK
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Posted 11/23/15
I Don't.
Assholes.
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18 / M / California
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Posted 11/23/15
Nah, you definitely don't, at all.
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22 / F
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/23/15
ok so let me put it this way, do I have love my father who raped me at 2? hell to the no,
what about self absorbed people, like my aunt and grandma for instance, whom get 230k a year while I have to live pay check to pay check and sometimes go without food, or I have to choose to either pay rent or the power bill for the month, while they get so much food every week its enough to donate a good sum each time to the food bank or a home less shelter, and I cant even ask to borrow 10 bucks for food
despise yes, but in that case they are still family so I love them
Posted 11/23/15
yes and no. my mother is the opposite of laid back. there's big personality clashes in my family
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27 / F
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Posted 11/23/15 , edited 11/23/15
There are a lot reasons a lot of people say to love your family. The main reason being is that they are typically the only people on earth you can trust to have your best interest at heart in every (or most, I should say) matter. I would definitely trust my father/mother with my money, children, possessions and secrets than even my closet best friend but that just it, that's typical.There are plenty of people in the world who have friends that are FAR more valuable and forever will be. Sometimes we tend to forget that our parents are...well human. They will fail and will hurt you.

So to answer you're question, no, I don't think it's odd that you dislike your family. As a matter of fact, I truly hated my brother for about 4 years of my life. He seriously could have died and I wouldn't have cared a bit. It's amazing how time can change people though...I'm happy that nothing happened to him.
Posted 11/23/15
There are family who I love and then there are those who I want dead.


elux72 
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M / Canada
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Posted 11/23/15
You don't have to love anyone if you so choose. It's nice, however, if you can have a close, loving family.

I heard a Chinese saying once that went something like this: Close neighbors are better than distant relatives.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 11/23/15

Pean-p wrote:

Recently, someone has asked me why do I dislike my family members. Usually people who ask me this pull out the "But they're family its okay" excuse when you dislike a relative for treating you badly.

I don't know if its because the family oriented mentality of many people who can't imagine doing anything but loving their relatives. Many people claim its loyalty to those who have raised them and put them into this world. Some people say it gives them guilt because their family has done so much for them. Why is it so frowned upon by others to dislike relatives? There are tons of reasons but, Its not necessarily something I can wrap my head around , so I'd like to hear the thoughts of others.

Can it be boiled down to Culture? Country? Morals? or something completely different.

Is it okay to not love your relatives?


Remember this blood may be thicker than water but it's way easier to get water stains out of clothes . Honestly, whoever thought that family was more trustworthy and loyal than a true friend must have been an orphan. I trust (and respect) my Mother and my Brother in my family and that's all. Considering, I have about 100 living relatives that should say something.
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28 / M / Baton Rouge, Loui...
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Posted 11/23/15
I hate everyone honestly but that's only because I hate myself so it'd be kinda weird to say that I hate everyone except my family...I'm kind of an all or nothing kinda guy when it comes to things like that.

I mean I tolerate a few members of my family but they're still people, y'know?

and you really can't trust most if not all people.
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20 / M / PA
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Posted 11/23/15
Nah I don't love all member of my family if some one treats me like shit family or not I'll treat you lIke your an object and just put you aside.
I'm a nice guy but if you do shit behind back I'll never forgive you. People say blood is thicker than wine but I belive bonds are more important.
Sogno- 
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Posted 11/23/15
as a christian i have to say yes, but i don't. haha. it's hard to love people who don't love you
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20 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 11/23/15
I don't really know most of my family, they're mostly back in Korea.

My dad is lame, but I do love him. My older brother has always treated me a little like crap. He's done most things he shouldn't do to his little sister but I don't hate him, I don't even dislike him for some reason. Maybe culture did beat it into my head?
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27 / M / Phatuum Thani, Th...
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Posted 11/23/15
You don't have to love all your relatives...
You're usually gonna have that one family member who's a total douche.
ztdz 
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17 / M / Mexico
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Posted 11/23/15
i love my first family but apart from that i dislike some uncles ants and cousins
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