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Post Reply I've been asked to go live in Sapporo
Timmn 
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Posted 12/2/15
I have an elderly relative who lives in Sapporo, he's lived there for as long as I can remember. His Japanese wife just passed away, and he doesn't want to live by himself. I've spent the last 10 years taking care of my Mother, so I think I can handle that part of the job.

Why he reached out to me is anyone's guess, it might be that I'm his only relative that might consider going there. However, I've only met him twice in my life, the last time was many years ago. We did get along fine the last time we met, but how it would go now is an unknown.

He said he would pay for my travel expenses, and once I got there, he would pay my living expenses plus some "spending money".

It would mean shutting down the lab, and disposing of everything, because I probably won't be coming back.

Here's the thing that really bothers me, I've never been to Japan, I've only been outside the US a few times, and that was Canada and Mexico. if I go, and if I decide I don't like it, it would just be too bad, because I probably couldn't come back.

Other than the lab, there is nothing to keep me here. The adventurer in me is saying GO! GO! but the practical me has some legitimate worries.

I don't even know how to start the process of moving there if I decided to go, and there are many other things I don't know.

So, any advice?
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Posted 12/2/15
I can't help with the moving part, but I believe you should do what you think is best for yourself. If you truly want to go and believe you can handle the hardships, then go ahead, but if there's any reservations about going, then perhaps you shouldn't. It's a big commitment to move countries alone, not including the possibility of never returning. You should sit down and weigh each of the options very thoroughly, make sure there aren't any regrets.
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Posted 12/2/15

Timmn wrote:

I have an elderly relative who lives in Sapporo, he's lived there for as long as I can remember. His Japanese wife just passed away, and he doesn't want to live by himself. I've spent the last 10 years taking care of my Mother, so I think I can handle that part of the job.

Why he reached out to me is anyone's guess, it might be that I'm his only relative that might consider going there. However, I've only met him twice in my life, the last time was many years ago. We did get along fine the last time we met, but how it would go now is an unknown.

He said he would pay for my travel expenses, and once I got there, he would pay my living expenses plus some "spending money".

It would mean shutting down the lab, and disposing of everything, because I probably won't be coming back.

Here's the thing that really bothers me, I've never been to Japan, I've only been outside the US a few times, and that was Canada and Mexico. if I go, and if I decide I don't like it, it would just be too bad, because I probably couldn't come back.

Other than the lab, there is nothing to keep me here. The adventurer in me is saying GO! GO! but the practical me has some legitimate worries.

I don't even know how to start the process of moving there if I decided to go, and there are many other things I don't know.

So, any advice?


Can you even stay past.... 6 months there?
Posted 12/2/15
I don't mean to be rude. But shit, man.. You're 61, you calling the relative elderly makes me think they're like 80 or something.
Timmn 
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Posted 12/2/15

VZ68 wrote:

Can you even stay past.... 6 months there?


From the little I've found out, If I go, I'm in it for the long haul, it would be difficult to return.
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Posted 12/2/15

Timmn wrote:


VZ68 wrote:

Can you even stay past.... 6 months there?


From the little I've found out, If I go, I'm in it for the long haul, it would be difficult to return.


No I mean visa rights, totally not up on that part of the law.
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Posted 12/2/15 , edited 12/2/15
Not sure if this helps, but maybe you should take vacation time off from work and go live with him for a little bit, just to see if you'd be comfortable there. I know a few weeks or whatever might not be enough time to experience what it would fully be like, but at least you could form and idea of what life would be like.
Timmn 
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Posted 12/2/15

Urboistar wrote:

I don't mean to be rude. But shit, man.. You're 61, you calling the relative elderly makes me think they're like 80 or something.


Well, he is 86, from what I understand he's in relatively good health presently.

Wait a second, are you calling me elderly? Well, you are only 18, just barely out of diapers.
Timmn 
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Posted 12/2/15

VZ68 wrote:


Timmn wrote:


VZ68 wrote:

Can you even stay past.... 6 months there?


From the little I've found out, If I go, I'm in it for the long haul, it would be difficult to return.


No I mean visa rights, totally not up on that part of the law.


I don't know, that is one of the many things I have to find out.

He tells me that his lawyers can handle everything, I just have to "put myself in their hands".

That's another thing that makes me uncomfortable.
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Posted 12/3/15
well, id say do it.
the only thing worse than failing is to never try.
well, thats just me anyways. id alway kick my self and play the 'what if' game if i turned it down. just sayin'.
Posted 12/3/15

Timmn wrote:


Urboistar wrote:

I don't mean to be rude. But shit, man.. You're 61, you calling the relative elderly makes me think they're like 80 or something.


Well, he is 86, from what I understand he's in relatively good health presently.

Wait a second, are you calling me elderly? Well, you are only 18, just barely out of diapers.


Oh shit.. Rekt me

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Posted 12/3/15
uhhhh
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17 / M / The Bay
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Posted 12/3/15

Timmn wrote:


VZ68 wrote:


Timmn wrote:


VZ68 wrote:

Can you even stay past.... 6 months there?


From the little I've found out, If I go, I'm in it for the long haul, it would be difficult to return.


No I mean visa rights, totally not up on that part of the law.


I don't know, that is one of the many things I have to find out.

He tells me that his lawyers can handle everything, I just have to "put myself in their hands".

That's another thing that makes me uncomfortable.


That sound's a bit sketch, someone you've met twice and haven't seen in years is telling you to basically trust them with your life. I could be wrong, but someone you barely knows calls you out of the blue, and tells you to fully trust them doesn't fly for me.
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Posted 12/3/15
Lala thinks that's a great idea ^^ Japan is filled with elderly people, so it should be fun and there should be lots of fun stuff you can do as an old person.
Posted 12/3/15

Timmn wrote:

I have an elderly relative who lives in Sapporo, he's lived there for as long as I can remember. His Japanese wife just passed away, and he doesn't want to live by himself. I've spent the last 10 years taking care of my Mother, so I think I can handle that part of the job.

Why he reached out to me is anyone's guess, it might be that I'm his only relative that might consider going there. However, I've only met him twice in my life, the last time was many years ago. We did get along fine the last time we met, but how it would go now is an unknown.

He said he would pay for my travel expenses, and once I got there, he would pay my living expenses plus some "spending money".

It would mean shutting down the lab, and disposing of everything, because I probably won't be coming back.

Here's the thing that really bothers me, I've never been to Japan, I've only been outside the US a few times, and that was Canada and Mexico. if I go, and if I decide I don't like it, it would just be too bad, because I probably couldn't come back.

Other than the lab, there is nothing to keep me here. The adventurer in me is saying GO! GO! but the practical me has some legitimate worries.

I don't even know how to start the process of moving there if I decided to go, and there are many other things I don't know.

So, any advice?


I have live in two different countries. Here the thing. People say they would love to live in their dream country. Most of those people are ignorant. There some who say they will adjust quickly but most of the time is BS. It no that easy. Another language, another culture, everything will be different. There no shortages of problems that may bother you a lot. I recommend that you stay with him for like 6 months. If you can stay with him for 6 months without killing each other. Then you can live there. I no saying say no but tested the waters first, before committing to anything or you may end up regretting it.
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