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Post Reply Looking back to your past?
Posted 12/4/15
I grew up from being a dork to one bad ass motherfucker hahaha
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16 / F / Always my room
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Posted 12/4/15
When I look back on the past all I can think is, "Wow what an idiot."
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 12/4/15
I started out life the unwanted child of parents I have never seen nor do I want to see them. Not that it matters they died when I was six if the death certs I have are anything to go by.I spent the first four years of my life in a group home before being adopted by a soldier. Growing up in his household with his biological daughter was tough at first. I had a lot of anger as a kid. But my new Dad helped me channel it, gave me purpose and a reason to value what I was actually worth. I then fell in love with his biological daughter, Sophie was her name. And she was a handful, Though she had severe albinism ( her skin was pale, pure white hair,even red eyes) the girl knew what she liked and wanted, she introduced me to the BDSM she preferred. I guess it was her way of dealing with the lack of control she had elsewhere in her life. I willingly played the part of her sub.

I joined the Army at eighteen,straight outta highschool. Much to Sophie's and my friends amusement. I went off to training and two months later I got some news that would forever colour my outlook on life. Sophie and my friends died in a car crash, some drunk t-boned them and flipped the car apparently. I remember hearing the news, the army gave me leave to attend their funerals and a few weeks to thinks things over. I remember my Dad not being able to talk at all during this process. I suppose losing his daughter after losing his wife was too much to bear. I don't know I couldn't really function myself at that moment.

I went back to the army and finished my training after two weeks. I couldn't stand to be in the same house me and Sophie had grown up in . My Dad came to see me officially become a soldier , he congratulated me but didn't say much else. I went on my first combat tour not soon after. I took a lot of stupid risks, honestly I think I was trying to kill myself. I don't know I've blocked that first tour from my memory. The week before I was to come back I got the news my Dad had died, the police report said some homeless fuck had tried to rob him, botched it and turned robbery into murder.

With that the Army put me on 'extended leave'. Guess they thought the fact a lot of the people I cared about had died so close together was going to effect my combat effectiveness. I fought hard against that stupid ruling and eventually they let me have another tour. I came back from that one. After Canada pulled out of major combat in Afghanistan I got myself transferred out of Full time service and into the reserves. I've been kinda just floating since, wishing my country would recommit to the war against terror so I have something more worthwhile to do then milking some damn cows.
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23 / M / Abyss
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Posted 12/4/15
Lots of depression, bullying, death, some happy memories, lots of alcohol, therapy, drugs, parties, games.

Not sure what I think about it to this day. The past makes me who I am today. Who knows if the past me would have been better or worse. What if my parents and Sophia didn't straighten me out? I would probably be in jail right now! What if Sophia didn't off herself? I may have had a girlfriend! If I wasn't depressed, I would never have met one of my best friends IRL. I would never have traded my memories of Germany for anything (well almost anything). Drinking is way too fun, though I probably shoulda skipped the hard drugs (tried each once, didn't enjoy them much).

If I do see some of my old bullies out of jail (one beat his grandma's skull in with a steel pipe, the other raped a girl), I think I will give them a friendly kick. I owe them so much. #StillSalt

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13 / F / California
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Posted 12/5/15
I remember all kinds of events. Reagan winning the election, which is strange because my hippie parents were so very happy he won, everybody was at the time. Out of control inflation, Chernobyl, Tiananmen Square, Gulf War. Oh I remember the gas spiking at the time, racing fuel almost became unaffordable. There are other smaller events, being told your grandmother had died when you are young, then a helicopter crash, causing trouble of all kinds, having fun, being good, burying your family and friends, well, maybe burying them, I stopped going to funerals, not my thing. I remember cold mornings in San Diego with rabbits hopping around, I remember the last episode of MASH Rudolph the Red-noised reindeer on TV, I remember the TV, because it lasted so so very long. Over 30 years old with one TV. I remember almost cutting my toe off, so much blood everywhere, my first nightmare, the house it happened in, and why it hasn't stopped happening to me after all these years.

It's not all bad though.
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 12/5/15
Nothing terribly notable, I don't want to remember bad things- There weren't too much of that anyways (because I forgot! LOL)

Ever since I got married, my life has been quite colorful. I've never been much of a traveler before I met my wife but her wish is my command so off we go to these places. I am very thankful.
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28 / M / Baton Rouge, Loui...
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Posted 12/5/15 , edited 12/5/15
considering that I don't have a lot of good memories, I tend to block things out and then I look at all the bad things I did and realize that the bad stuff that happens to me is just karma and then I get back to peace with myself
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M / Australia
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Posted 12/5/15 , edited 12/5/15
My past is a real mixed bag.
Lots of good memories and experiences but also bad ones.
I spent parts of my life as a very confident kid, but parts where i was very shy and quiet and low of confidence and self esteem. Parts where i was very positive minded and parts where i was very confident, almost cocky for a breif period.
It's amazing how different life is when you are strong minded and when you are weak minded.

I sometimes feel like i have lived a double life. I've half been a popular guy who has friends and is in more "cool" crowd, had some "hot" girlfriends, i've played sport and went to parties and was in a grafetti crew, tried drugs and alcohol at a young age, used to be popular with girls at certian periods, massive hip hop head, weed head, etc

But then i've been quiet, play video games like RPG's, been anti social, spent alot of my life single, hang around popular and more "normal" people but also anti social, weird, crazy, strange, more nerdy types, watched alot of anime, collecting figurines, massive video game collection, lived at home until i was 26, spend way too much time on forums, etc

I mean ive been a weed head then a non smoker, light drinker then alcoholic, kind of "cool' i guess lol but now fairly geeky, etc

Spent alot of my youger days either drunk or high, listening to music, hanging with mates, gaming, etc i think i have always been open minded and embrace many different things and types of people and hovbbies but i have also been a follower at times, indecisive also.
Almost like an identity crisis
Werid how i have been so social yet the opposite also?

I feel for the most part i have been a good person but i did do some pretty bad things in my past. Some things i am not proud of but i had bad things happen to me also.

I grew up in a house with a swimming pool. Always had friends, was never close to my dad (but we pretty tight now), Never finished school, been working since i was 17 (now 34) eh. I think i have let other people influence me pretty heavy. iam sure certian people that i have met had BIG impact on my life and the path i went down.


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20 / F / UK
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Posted 12/5/15
Bad times, a lot of them.
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26 / M
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Posted 12/5/15
More bad times than I care to admit.
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28 / M / South Korea
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Posted 12/5/15 , edited 12/5/15

Ranwolf wrote:

I started out life the unwanted child of parents I have never seen nor do I want to see them. Not that it matters they died when I was six if the death certs I have are anything to go by.I spent the first four years of my life in a group home before being adopted by a soldier. Growing up in his household with his biological daughter was tough at first. I had a lot of anger as a kid. But my new Dad helped me channel it, gave me purpose and a reason to value what I was actually worth. I then fell in love with his biological daughter, Sophie was her name. And she was a handful, Though she had severe albinism ( her skin was pale, pure white hair,even red eyes) the girl knew what she liked and wanted, she introduced me to the BDSM she preferred. I guess it was her way of dealing with the lack of control she had elsewhere in her life. I willingly played the part of her sub.

I joined the Army at eighteen,straight outta highschool. Much to Sophie's and my friends amusement. I went off to training and two months later I got some news that would forever colour my outlook on life. Sophie and my friends died in a car crash, some drunk t-boned them and flipped the car apparently. I remember hearing the news, the army gave me leave to attend their funerals and a few weeks to thinks things over. I remember my Dad not being able to talk at all during this process. I suppose losing his daughter after losing his wife was too much to bear. I don't know I couldn't really function myself at that moment.

I went back to the army and finished my training after two weeks. I couldn't stand to be in the same house me and Sophie had grown up in . My Dad came to see me officially become a soldier , he congratulated me but didn't say much else. I went on my first combat tour not soon after. I took a lot of stupid risks, honestly I think I was trying to kill myself. I don't know I've blocked that first tour from my memory. The week before I was to come back I got the news my Dad had died, the police report said some homeless fuck had tried to rob him, botched it and turned robbery into murder.

With that the Army put me on 'extended leave'. Guess they thought the fact a lot of the people I cared about had died so close together was going to effect my combat effectiveness. I fought hard against that stupid ruling and eventually they let me have another tour. I came back from that one. After Canada pulled out of major combat in Afghanistan I got myself transferred out of Full time service and into the reserves. I've been kinda just floating since, wishing my country would recommit to the war against terror so I have something more worthwhile to do then milking some damn cows.


Damn... what a tragedy. Sorry for all your loses, hope the rest of your time on this life is gonna be better!

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23 / M / A town called "Ci...
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Posted 12/5/15
Was both a happy and dark one...
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26 / M / Your friendly nei...
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Posted 12/5/15
Good thread.... CR desperately needed a place for people to throw a pity party about their insignificant lives and their super tough pasts.
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23 / M / Florida
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Posted 12/5/15
Life was simpler. Didn't have any responsibilities or worries. All I had to do was get good grades. Mostly spend my time playing video games, watching carton network, or playing sports.
Posted 12/5/15
Nope, no past here. That's all in the past.
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