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Post Reply What to do when your partner is crushing?
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 12/15/15
So, this is an interesting general question that I found while getting my usual misogynist fix from r/theredpill, I came across blue pill relationship advice. Now, I knew it'd be horrible so I read it without red pill objectivity and tried to get into the same headspace as the blue pill mangina who posted the thread.

No embed versions this time, would be too much work, so I won't be doing the whole thing of both these threads.

Blue pill mangina advice: https://archive.is/Txbhr

Respectable Man's advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3wzxf0/lpt_gives_blue_pill_advice_on_what_to_do_when/

The question being asked is: What to do when your partner has a crush? Not like a little baby: "oh he's cute" but like a: "I really wanna get to know him..."

Now we know a typical blue pill woman would say that "would never happen" to prevent her from thinking her hypergamy might be acting up. But props to this blue pill man for even daring to mention his wife may have emotionally "cheated" on him. My opinions are this matter are easily explained by the man on r/theredpill, but I can see why a heinous mangina would prefer the blue pill approach.

Now, that's where the ideas came from, so you don't have to reply to either thread. But the focus is on what would you do if your partner had a real crush? As in they really wanted to get to know this person, but you were the only thing in their way.

I can't answer this question since I don't talk to men, and I would immediately cut ties with any man that had interest me or me interested in him. Period. I also don't require or expect monogamy with men so it would not matter on his end.
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24 / M / St.Louis - USA
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Posted 12/15/15
Same as always
Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15
Skim, skim, skim, where's the question, where's the question.



I have no idea what she's planning. Enjoy cheating on me, for all I care.
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21 / Australia
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Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15
If the crush is real, probably break up (Unless we're talking about actor crushes) but I wouldn't really know how I would respond as I haven't been in this position before, you know, that thing called "relationship".
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15
Talk about it and move on because they won't do anything and won't let there crush become any feelings.

I got a crush whilst with my girlfriend on a friend and i told my girlfriend who got mad and i don't blame her.
I never gave into it as i loved my girlfriend and i would never cheat on her .

We broke up and i ended up falling for said crush in the future but how i see it is you can't control whether you get feelings for someone or a crush on someone.

I hate that ...but it's the truth so the best thing to do is talk to your partner and don't act on them.

That being said the only time i have ever crushed on someone whilst in a relationship was with her and we weren't the best couple and should have broken up long before as it was an abusive relationship.

But still it all depends personally i would be ok aslong as they do not act on the feelings i think.

I don't know honestly i want to say i would break up and it is wrong but after experiencing it yourself and not being able to help how you feel whilst not wanting to leave your partner it would be immature if i broke up with someone for something that happened to me before wouldn't it?
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18 / M / Across the Narrow...
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Posted 12/15/15
I would accept it in the end and follow my partner along like a lost puppy dog. To win over my commitment is a feat of its own accord to begin with and if they're that special I guess I should stick with them until the end. After all a wise man once said, "Life is like a videogame ....pull to much aggro and you die :("
Posted 12/15/15
i dont think its a problem unless that crush turns into something more extreme and shout out to blue pill manginas you make magical soul very unhappy lmao
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Tasmania, Australia
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Posted 12/15/15
I didn't read the the threads. What the hell is someone doing with a relationship where the partner is at attracted to other people? Where's the dignity? If your in an open relationship, then by all means, but if its supposed to be monogamous then you should have been more attentive with all the earlier signs. A little banter about attractive celebrities or something might be ok, you could even use that info to entertain your partner, but when it's someone they actually know... pfft, let 'em go. Good luck to them in hooking up with this other person, although im sure the same crap will happen to them again. Be confident with who you are, don't let a partner define you, if you do, you only compromise your "self".
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 12/15/15

Ultiwhop wrote:

I didn't read the the threads. What the hell is someone doing with a relationship where the partner is at attracted to other people? Where's the dignity? If your in an open relationship, then by all means, but if its supposed to be monogamous then you should have been more attentive with all the earlier signs. A little banter about attractive celebrities or something might be ok, you could even use that info to entertain your partner, but when it's someone they actually know... pfft, let 'em go. Good luck to them in hooking up with this other person, although im sure the same crap will happen to them again. Be confident with who you are, don't let a partner define you, if you do, you only compromise your "self".


Who is that insecure about a crush? You do know attraction is not a choice, right? And why are celebrities exempt from crushing?

Are they so important they transcend judgment? If your partner cheats with a famous actor, is that okay because he's famous?
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Tasmania, Australia
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Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15

Magical-Soul wrote:



Who is that insecure about a crush? You do know attraction is not a choice, right? And why are celebrities exempt from crushing?

Are they so important they transcend judgment? If your partner cheats with a famous actor, is that okay because he's famous?


I didn't read the message boards you linked so maybe i'm missing something. But for me, I can find someone attractive without developing a crush. same goes for celebrities. Now, if my partner were to cheat on me with a celebrity... well that's pathetic. I wouldn't be so foolish to consider someone so shallow to be a suitable partner. Cheating is cheating, no matter of celebrity status. Of course this only applies to monogamous relationships.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/15/15

Ultiwhop wrote:

I didn't read the the threads. What the hell is someone doing with a relationship where the partner is at attracted to other people? Where's the dignity? If your in an open relationship, then by all means, but if its supposed to be monogamous then you should have been more attentive with all the earlier signs. A little banter about attractive celebrities or something might be ok, you could even use that info to entertain your partner, but when it's someone they actually know... pfft, let 'em go. Good luck to them in hooking up with this other person, although im sure the same crap will happen to them again. Be confident with who you are, don't let a partner define you, if you do, you only compromise your "self".


Just saying i was in a relationship with my ex and only love her and no one else however i became attracted to someone a crush so to speak.

The difference is whether you do something about it or not i chose to stay with my partner as i loved her and only her
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Tasmania, Australia
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Posted 12/15/15

Ryulightorb wrote:



Just saying i was in a relationship with my ex and only love her and no one else however i became attracted to someone a crush so to speak.

The difference is whether you do something about it or not i chose to stay with my partner as i loved her and only her


But... she's your ex. So... There's love, love and love. Infatuation, romance and truly accepting one another. The evolution of love if you will. If "infatuation" goes to someone else, then this relationship is not moving forward, unless, in an open relationship where both parties accept that happily.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/15/15

Ultiwhop wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:



Just saying i was in a relationship with my ex and only love her and no one else however i became attracted to someone a crush so to speak.

The difference is whether you do something about it or not i chose to stay with my partner as i loved her and only her


But... she's your ex. So... There's love, love and love. Infatuation, romance and truly accepting one another. The evolution of love if you will. If "infatuation" goes to someone else, then this relationship is not moving forward, unless, in an open relationship where both parties accept that happily.


we broke up due to her becoming abusive

You can start getting a crush on someone else thats not in your control however what you do is.
Even the most devoted man may get a crush on someone else the key is there actions.
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Tasmania, Australia
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Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15

Ryulightorb wrote:



we broke up due to her becoming abusive

You can start getting a crush on someone else thats not in your control however what you do is.
Even the most devoted man may get a crush on someone else the key is there actions.


At the risk of seeming condescending, speaking as a 34yo man, you absolutely CAN control who you have a crush on. That's the difference between a man and a boy. A man takes responsibility for his actions, words and thoughts, a boy says "it's out of my control". It IS in your control, infact you decided on every thought that led up to the apparent crush. If porn is on your computer screen, do you say "its not my fault"? Same goes for the screen of your mind. If you go through life allowing your whims to dictate your direction in life, then you will live a reactionary life where things happen to you and you follow the patterns of your life's behavior going around in circles and never evolving. Take responsibility. You allowed yourself to get a crush, you could have interrupted the process at any point. It's as simple as noticing the hormonal reaction you had to the crush, acknowledging it, then getting on with life without giving it any further thought.

Here's a suggestion, practice a martial art, learn a musical instrument, start writing a book or anything, anything at all that you can train your mind to focus on. If you practice piano in your head, its as good as doing it for real. And its training your mind to be better at it. If your gonna allow your mind to daydream about women, guess what you'll be good at when you get older? Give your mind a hobby, something you can use your wasted mental energy on. FOCUS! key to success, all success. Women? They want to be supportive to you, not become the center of your universe.

*edit, I just meant to share my thoughts. But a lecture came out.
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22 / M / MO, USA
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Posted 12/15/15 , edited 12/15/15
I know where I lay my boundary. You go beyond that... I cut you off. Simple.

If i'm dating you i'm investing my time. I'm not gonna waste time with someone who doesn't feel the same way. I'd rather die alone that be trapped in a relationship i'm unhappy in.

Still looking for her, but one day I guess.
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