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Post Reply Drop college and pursue music?
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19 / M
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Posted 12/21/15
I just finished my first semester of college and I've been thinking about not going next semester and renting an apartment with a friend. The reason is because my parents are extremely toxic. They force me to commute to a local community college, they don't allow me any freedom. And they constantly, constantly, force religion (Islam) on to me. It's at a point where I just can not live at home and be happy. They are extremely conservative and closed minded, and are even forcing me to a limited number of degrees.

About making music, I have to do it in secret because they believe that music is the devils play. The only options I have are this, either live in this house and let them pay for my college for the next 2-5 years, while enduring constant mental harassment by living in here, or, I can find a full-time job, move out and rent an apartment with a friend. Either way, I'm in a shitty situation. I'd have to work a lot of hours to just pay the bills, but, I'd have the freedom to make all the music I want. And not be forced to pray 5 times a day. I don't even believe in the religion, I'm a Buddhist but I've been pretending to be a Muslim so my parents don't flip out on me. If they were to ever find out I'm not a Muslim anymore, I don't even know what they'd do.

I'm in a sticky situation, my gut is telling me to leave asap, but people keep telling me that college is the best route. If i stay and go to college, I'll for sure be miserable for years to come. Please help me, because this is eating at me.
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17 / Nowhere of conseq...
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Posted 12/21/15
Depends, before I respond you'd have to know I'm only 16 and can't give you the best life advice, and what degree you'd be pursuing. Even if I do give my opinion and advice I'd strongly recommend waiting for several other inputs from people who are most likely more suited to giving you life advice.
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21 / Australia
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Posted 12/21/15
If I was in this living situation I'd A) Tell the parents now and work out something out regarding the practise of your religion or B)) move out and cease contact, or you could try C) Move out when you have the job with the money to support yourself don't cease contact but don't tell your parents anything about your religion.

As I've never been in this situation and know next to knowing about it I'm inclined to say the three options I've given are probably bullshit and you should probably go with what you feel is the best choice.
Posted 12/21/15
Swallow your pride and stay with your parents. No matter how "bad" they are, the outside world is 10x worse. You are unlikely to make it on your own, anyway.
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19 / M
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Posted 12/21/15 , edited 1/18/16

40YearOldVirgin wrote:

Swallow your pride and stay with your parents. No matter how "bad" they are, the outside world is 10x worse. You are unlikely to make it on your own, anyway.


It's not about pride. It's about being miserable. I can finish college but I don't even know what degree I should be going for. Music is my passion but for sure my parents would never allow me to pursue that. I would have to grind it out here for 2 or 4 years depending on what degree I'd go for. I have a vision, I can't waste away in this house walking down a road I don't want to walk down.
Posted 12/21/15
Which ever choice you pick will carry it's own troubles it just depends on which ones your willing to endure and which one is worth it overall, and it seems to me you already know the answer to your own question you just want someone to give you a push. Just be mindful about the whole situation and don't rush into things blindly.
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36 / M
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Posted 12/21/15
If your college is free, graduate. Otherwise, drop that crap and do music.
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19 / M
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Posted 12/21/15

Allen750 wrote:

If your college is free, graduate. Otherwise, drop that crap and do music.


It's free because my dad pays for it. The problem is, the fact that I'm relying on my dad to pay for my education is basically giving him full control of my life. No music, no going out, no passion, just religion. Forced to pray 5 times a day, and read a book I don't believe in or care about just so I can get a degree. It may be because I'm immature, but I don't see how that is the right choice. I understand that it may be worth it once I get a degree and get a job, but even that feels so far away.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 12/21/15 , edited 12/21/15
I got a degree and now I am trying to prove that I am not overqualified for entry level jobs while the jobs I an perfect for degree wise I lack experience for. Going to college does not magically give you a job or solve your problems. However pursuing music is very difficult and the chance of success is low.

I could support you moving out of a toxic environment but after having gone to college I cannot suggest it unless you have a clear opportunity in mind. Right now I am using the skills I learned outside of college and have never had to use my college skills yet -_-;;.

The biggest thing I learned in college is how little you learn in college, how much college graduates over boast their skills, and how people without degrees underestimate themselves =/

Though college may help people that are not good at self learning.... For me it was never that good as I am better off just jumping in and figuring it all out myself.
Posted 12/22/15
I'm glad you haven't conformed to your parents ways and think to yourself, we need more people like you. As a musician myself, I don't think it's possible to pursue music. I've been doing music casually for two years now and I barely get 30 views on my videos. Honestly your story makes me upset about religion even more, I wish people would drop such an archaic idea. I really don't know what to tell you, I doubt you will make it trying to pursue music alone, and a degree is more suitable, but your parents do sound pretty terrible.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 12/22/15
I thought the title said "magic".
Sorry, the real scenario doesn't interest me.
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Posted 12/23/15 , edited 12/23/15
Put this in perspective:

It's *just* 4 years max being miserable pretending to be the perfect model kid with free housing and education--add 2 or 3 years on top if you're going for an MBA.

Once you graduate, get out.

You may have been miserable for 4 years but that's just a drop in a bucket compared to your future earning prospects because of the education you have gained and life-long stability for the next 60+ years of your life.

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19 / athens, greece.
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Posted 12/23/15

ibrahim2712 wrote:

I just finished my first semester of college and I've been thinking about not going next semester and renting an apartment with a friend. The reason is because my parents are extremely toxic. They force me to commute to a local community college, they don't allow me any freedom. And they constantly, constantly, force religion (Islam) on to me. It's at a point where I just can not live at home and be happy. They are extremely conservative and closed minded, and are even forcing me to a limited number of degrees.

About making music, I have to do it in secret because they believe that music is the devils play. The only options I have are this, either live in this house and let them pay for my college for the next 2-5 years, while enduring constant mental harassment by living in here, or, I can find a full-time job, move out and rent an apartment with a friend. Either way, I'm in a shitty situation. I'd have to work a lot of hours to just pay the bills, but, I'd have the freedom to make all the music I want. And not be forced to pray 5 times a day. I don't even believe in the religion, I'm a Buddhist but I've been pretending to be a Muslim so my parents don't flip out on me. If they were to ever find out I'm not a Muslim anymore, I don't even know what they'd do.

I'm in a sticky situation, my gut is telling me to leave asap, but people keep telling me that college is the best route. If i stay and go to college, I'll for sure be miserable for years to come. Please help me, because this is eating at me.


By telling them you're a buddhist, wouldn't they kick you out or something of that nature? Isn't that what you want?
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19 / M
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Posted 12/23/15

KiT-basher wrote:

Put this in perspective:

It's *just* 4 years max being miserable pretending to be the perfect model kid with free housing and education--add 2 or 3 years on top if you're going for an MBA.

Once you graduate, get out.

You may have been miserable for 4 years but that's just a drop in a bucket compared to your future earning prospects because of the education you have gained and life-long stability for the next 60+ years of your life.



That's what I was thinking too. I don't even know what degree I'm going for but I think I should just stick it out until I get my degree. Life could be worse you know.
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Posted 12/23/15
Hang in there. Always have a back up plan in life,
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