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Post Reply Decline in marriages in the United States
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Posted 1/3/16
Not surprising. The Left has been working to undermine every bulwark against their ideology for over a century, and now suddenly a generation raised on the idea that you can fuck whatever and whoever you want whenever you want, changing partners like some people change shoes, and yet believe they will magically will find someone who is absolutely just perfect for them and won't desire anyone but them finds themselves without the emotional maturity to handle marriage?


Noooooooo shit.
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People have more options nowadays. Divorce always has its difficulties. Sometimes it's can be biased against a particular gender. This wasn't always male. There was a time when females who divorced just ended up kicked out penniless, children would be their fathers'. Since there was less work for women she'd be destitute as well.

People had got married for various reasons and they all had expectations. If it didn't live up to their expectation they were stuck with it. That was because there was a stigma against broken marriages. Family and friends could and would disown those that separated. Infidelity takes place with all genders. In the past if there was cheating in marriages a lot would stay together because the ones cheated on didn't want to be shamed or they'd stick their heads in the sand and pretend it wasn't happening. Many times the reason for not divorcing was financial if it came to women because a lot of them were housewives or earned less. If there was domestic violence again, it was the same. The victim put up with the suffering because they didn't want the shame of being a beaten spouse and they didn't know how to start over elsewhere. If they complained to family, friends and communities and or religious places the advice was always to stay together.

Today there isn't such a big stigma of being unmarried. Since most people work they have individual incomes to make other plans if marriage doesn't live up to their expectations.
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Posted 1/3/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


saksiss wrote:

Well considering marriage is a complete joke, and a bad one at that, it's not surprising..


Why is it a joke?

Two people being together for life isn't a joke at all.


LMAO, I feel bad if you truly believe you need to be married to be together for life.


Nope you don't but if you are together for life either way you are practically the same as being married.

No reason not to make it official since you are practically married anyhow.


I don't see the point in just being boyfriend and girlfriend for life when you can become husband and wife which if you are already together for life you practically already are


But why? My EX and I had problems but what a huge mess it would have been if we actually went that road. Now I am happy about it. I'm young so that kinda skews it...

My brother has kids with his girl and they are never getting married either. I love the idea behind it and I like to look at things in a traditional way, at least to relationships but I don't really see the point. At least from reading, it also seems heavily female centered in the US.

It just seems arbitrary to me. But I like the idea that it symbolizes and what it really means. For many, that's not really the case.
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Posted 1/3/16 , edited 1/3/16
*Reads post following mine on top of page*


Jesus Christ I couldn't even go a minute without being proven correct.
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Posted 1/3/16

DanteVSTheWorld wrote:

It's not just the US, it's all western countries. But what do you expect when marriage is all about the women, from the ring, the dress, the day, it's all about her and it's the mans efforts and money that goes into it. Then the fact that most divorces are initiated by women, up to 90% of the time for those around college ages, but in general it's around 70% of the time, sauce; http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html

Then the fact the man is screwed over in every way possible, losing a lot of his assets and money, most times he isn't even considered to be the main parent if kids are involved, even if he has a prenup agreement a lot of the times that doesn't hold up in court. So at the end of it all, he loses half his shit, his house, kids, even if the bitch cheated he still loses it all.

So with all this, people wonder why marriage is on the decline.




This is a very real and widely held perception, which means it does in fact contribute to the decline in marriages per capita over the last 144+ years. From this perspective, a divorce means that half the assets, or more, that the man has counted on thus far are suddenly no longer his, he loses many of his rights as a father, and he suddenly has at least two new bills, spousal support and child support. These two "new" bills can be quite sizable when compared to his income. For this reason many men of lower income decide marriage isn't worth it since divorce is so common. If they don't marry the girl they fair better financially in the event of a seperation because there is no bill for spousal support. I don't know how this plays out in same sex relationships.

The reason financial things sit on the man's shoulders is that back in the day women weren't allowed to have jobs or assets. Today that is no longer the case. Unfortunately the courts have yet to catch up with culture, as if that could reasonably be expected. I doubt these laws will change any time soon.

I know of several situations where kids are in far worse a situation living with their mother than they would be living with their father; however, it is his word against her's and that rarely works out well for the father. That being said, not getting married in the first place isn't going to help with custody issues.

Another thing I thought of the other day is, "The divorce rate may be up but I wonder if the rate of people who make it 10+ years of marriage is any different?" Back in the day, people often lost their spouses to sickness, disease, childbirth, infection, poor nutrition, etc. So, " 'til death do us part," had a much shorter time expectancy than it does today.



chinesedoodle wrote:

I disagree with this. Marriage declines in western countries due to a desire for freedom from youth. Also children learn from their parents, I don't know about you guys, but my parents' marriage is wonky, bordering on dead. I don't want that!

Don't blame women for everything, it takes two to get married. Divorce is suppose to keep both parties on a similar life style, the only reason men might lose more is due to women not making as much as men; your complaint is an aftereffect of the glass ceiling. The kids I understand, but that is a societal issue. Men don't get lumped in as the parent, because current society DEMANDS the women take care of the kids; you can see it with maternity leave, but no paternity leave. The emphasis on women only parenting and the stigma of a father who stays home to care for the kids as wimpy/loser is unfortunate.

Lastly, most marriages fail. Most couples do not have good communication and interrelationship skills, hence their kids probably won't either. It's an endless cycle.

I hope I'm wrong, but I'm worried that the discussion on this thread is leaning towards blaming women, which is absurd. Men and Women simply need to decide to work through their marriage. No one party is fully at fault when a marriage fails and results in a divorce unless violence is involved


You have some good points about divorce, particularly the bits about poor communication skills and both parties being responsible for a failed marriage.

I think your complaint, 2nd paragraph - end, might be missing the point of the question though. The question is, "What do we think about the report posted in the Washington Post about a decline in the number of people getting married per capita?" Not, "Why are people getting divorced," or "Who is at fault?"

+PrinceJudar:

Interesting graphs. I think they would be more interesting if you defined "HIP."

Also, marriage is about more than sex, romance, and kids. It certainly includes those things but it is also about intimacy, being able to show yourself to someone in all your imperfections and knowing they wont reject you and accepting them in the same way. Intimacy is an integral part of love. It seems to me that intimacy is what has been disapearing. It has been replaced by selfishness, fear, ignorance to its existence, and busy schedules.

Side note: In order to achieve intimacy with someone else a person must first learn to achieve intimacy with one's self. If you hate or despise things about yourself how will you ever be able to believe someone else could possibly accept them?
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Posted 1/3/16

sundin13 wrote:

I personally see no point to Marriage other than the tax benefits. All it is, is a symbol and negative reinforcement. It is a symbol of love, however, in a truly loving relationship, what is the purpose of symbol? If you cannot prove your love without spending thousands of dollars on a wedding ceremony, how real is that love truly? If you both love each other, your actions and your feelings should be strong enough to ensure that you both know that you will be together forever. Additionally, it is negative reinforcement, because it doesn't provide you positive benefits during marriage, it simply holds over your head all the negatives that will come crashing down with a divorce (or positives for some people, but that isn't exactly a "benefit" of marriage either).

Overall, I don't particularly like the idea of marriage. Even if the goal is to start a family, marriage doesn't really do anything to help...

You know what would be cool? If marriage was a surgical procedure that linked you mentally so you were able to send telepathic messages to your significant other...


It's a symbol of love but hardly negative reinforcement to me atleast.

You don't need to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding ceremony hell mine will probably be a cheap one with a cheap ring its the thought that counts not the materials.

I see marriage as a contract that two people sign when they are ready to form it sure you can go forever without such a contract but i know myself making that contract and sealing it means alot to me.

Being married has no negative or positives after all you are just as you were before now with a new title.


Personally i would never date someone unless they would sign a contract to be with me and if they cheat or leave then we have to split everything so to me marriage is a sensible thing that's what happens when you break a contract you pay the price thats why you should never form a contract unless you are 100% sure.

Marriage is helpful to some of us but to people like you well you don't need it and more power to you but some of us like the idea of marriage and it being negative reinforcement all depends upon the people who are getting married and for what reasons.
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Posted 1/3/16

SatoMadoka wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


saksiss wrote:

Well considering marriage is a complete joke, and a bad one at that, it's not surprising..


Why is it a joke?

Two people being together for life isn't a joke at all.


LMAO, I feel bad if you truly believe you need to be married to be together for life.


Nope you don't but if you are together for life either way you are practically the same as being married.

No reason not to make it official since you are practically married anyhow.


I don't see the point in just being boyfriend and girlfriend for life when you can become husband and wife which if you are already together for life you practically already are


But why? My EX and I had problems but what a huge mess it would have been if we actually went that road. Now I am happy about it. I'm young so that kinda skews it...

My brother has kids with his girl and they are never getting married either. I love the idea behind it and I like to look at things in a traditional way, at least to relationships but I don't really see the point. At least from reading, it also seems heavily female centered in the US.

It just seems arbitrary to me. But I like the idea that it symbolizes and what it really means. For many, that's not really the case.



Well you of course don't sign a contract (Marriage) unless you are 100% sure and willing to pay the price if it doesn't work out.
I just don't see the point in being together just dating your whole life never taking it to the next level to me that just doesn't seem fulfilling.

But to each person to there own but Marriage can a point depending on the people who are getting married and there beliefs.
To me the ultimate sign of showing you love someone is being able to love them enough to bind a contract sealing you two together for life.

But that's just me others don't have to feel the same but i wouldn't understand them
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Posted 1/3/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


SatoMadoka wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


saksiss wrote:

Well considering marriage is a complete joke, and a bad one at that, it's not surprising..


Why is it a joke?

Two people being together for life isn't a joke at all.


LMAO, I feel bad if you truly believe you need to be married to be together for life.


Nope you don't but if you are together for life either way you are practically the same as being married.

No reason not to make it official since you are practically married anyhow.


I don't see the point in just being boyfriend and girlfriend for life when you can become husband and wife which if you are already together for life you practically already are


But why? My EX and I had problems but what a huge mess it would have been if we actually went that road. Now I am happy about it. I'm young so that kinda skews it...

My brother has kids with his girl and they are never getting married either. I love the idea behind it and I like to look at things in a traditional way, at least to relationships but I don't really see the point. At least from reading, it also seems heavily female centered in the US.

It just seems arbitrary to me. But I like the idea that it symbolizes and what it really means. For many, that's not really the case.



Well you of course don't sign a contract (Marriage) unless you are 100% sure and willing to pay the price if it doesn't work out.
I just don't see the point in being together just dating your whole life never taking it to the next level to me that just doesn't seem fulfilling.

But to each person to there own but Marriage can a point depending on the people who are getting married and there beliefs.
To me the ultimate sign of showing you love someone is being able to love them enough to bind a contract sealing you two together for life.

But that's just me others don't have to feel the same but i wouldn't understand them



I agree with you and I kind of don't.

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Posted 1/3/16

SatoMadoka wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


SatoMadoka wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


saksiss wrote:

Well considering marriage is a complete joke, and a bad one at that, it's not surprising..


Why is it a joke?

Two people being together for life isn't a joke at all.


LMAO, I feel bad if you truly believe you need to be married to be together for life.


Nope you don't but if you are together for life either way you are practically the same as being married.

No reason not to make it official since you are practically married anyhow.


I don't see the point in just being boyfriend and girlfriend for life when you can become husband and wife which if you are already together for life you practically already are


But why? My EX and I had problems but what a huge mess it would have been if we actually went that road. Now I am happy about it. I'm young so that kinda skews it...

My brother has kids with his girl and they are never getting married either. I love the idea behind it and I like to look at things in a traditional way, at least to relationships but I don't really see the point. At least from reading, it also seems heavily female centered in the US.

It just seems arbitrary to me. But I like the idea that it symbolizes and what it really means. For many, that's not really the case.



Well you of course don't sign a contract (Marriage) unless you are 100% sure and willing to pay the price if it doesn't work out.
I just don't see the point in being together just dating your whole life never taking it to the next level to me that just doesn't seem fulfilling.

But to each person to there own but Marriage can a point depending on the people who are getting married and there beliefs.
To me the ultimate sign of showing you love someone is being able to love them enough to bind a contract sealing you two together for life.

But that's just me others don't have to feel the same but i wouldn't understand them



I agree with you and I kind of don't.



Fair enough in the end marriage being worth it is all dependant on the people in the relationship and there beliefs.

Some people don't want to be married because to them it's pointless and honestly fair enough.
Sogno- 
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Posted 1/3/16 , edited 1/3/16
good, hopefully that will lessen the divorce rate and have less single parent children and only be for the people who truly understand the value of marriage who work hard at creating a healthy home and relationship
Posted 1/3/16

Kira0309 wrote:

men suck





Tinamarie101 wrote:


Kira0309 wrote:

men suck


^This!!










Posted 1/3/16
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Posted 1/3/16

sundin13 wrote:

I personally see no point to Marriage other than the tax benefits. All it is, is a symbol and negative reinforcement. It is a symbol of love, however, in a truly loving relationship, what is the purpose of symbol? If you cannot prove your love without spending thousands of dollars on a wedding ceremony, how real is that love truly? If you both love each other, your actions and your feelings should be strong enough to ensure that you both know that you will be together forever. Additionally, it is negative reinforcement, because it doesn't provide you positive benefits during marriage, it simply holds over your head all the negatives that will come crashing down with a divorce (or positives for some people, but that isn't exactly a "benefit" of marriage either).

Overall, I don't particularly like the idea of marriage. Even if the goal is to start a family, marriage doesn't really do anything to help...

You know what would be cool? If marriage was a surgical procedure that linked you mentally so you were able to send telepathic messages to your significant other...


Statistically, marriage upholds in regards to children. According to sociologists, cohabitation parenthood is more similar to single parenthood than it is to married couples in terms of instability and uncertainty for kids.


These trends worry many sociologists. Research shows married households tend to be better-off financially, and more able to build up emergency savings and retirement funds. Married parents also are more likely to own homes, Census data show.

Meanwhile, cohabiting parents are more likely to split up. When they do, they often form new partnerships, and have additional children, creating a complex web of half-siblings, step-parents, child-support payments and family visits.


There is a place for marriage I'd argue for starting and, particularly, maintaining a family. I think the concept of marriage is correct and 'aligned' for such goals.

Source: http://www.wsj.com/articles/cohabiting-parents-at-record-high-1426010894

As for wedding expenses:



The answer to that is not very real.

Telepathy would still be rad though.



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Posted 1/3/16
Getting married no longer holds the kind of importance it used to have.

Having children outside of a marriage no longer holds the same social stigma it used to, women can now have meaningful employment to support themselves, and the idea that a truly successful man has not only a career but a family the he alone provides for is outmoded.

Outside of the legal benefits of a marriage (social security, tax breaks, citizenship et al) and religious beliefs marriage has no real purpose. Two people who love each other, decide to share a home and raise children never have to go through the whole ceremony/civil process; it's all choice now.
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Posted 1/3/16 , edited 1/3/16

WeeabooWarrior wrote:



Baha_Java wrote: Getting married no longer holds the kind of importance it used to have.
and before that marriage wasn't a thing, and much was rather going to the ones that worked or something else.



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