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Post Reply Do you believe homophobia is real?
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20 / MI
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Posted 1/5/16
omg all these smartasses saying "well im not afraid of homosexuals!!! it's not really a phobia!" y'all we get it. we know. good night
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27 / M
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Posted 1/5/16
Can't imagine anyone being afraid of homosexuals.
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Posted 1/5/16

BlueOni wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:

Well, a phobia is a fear.


If you mean an irrational, clinically severe fear response to homosexual people that one nevertheless recognises as irrational (which is what a phobia basically is) then probably not. Maybe, but probably not.

Of course, the exercise of quipping back "I'm not afraid of homosexuals, dammit!" is as asinine as it is pointless. The term homophobia isn't used to indicate fear of homosexuals, and everyone knows that. It's used to indicate prejudicial attitudes and behaviour against homosexuals. Considering the aforementioned quip is frequently followed by complaints about homosexuals being "too open" or "in peoples' faces", and that these complaints can boil down to little more than objection to the sight of a homosexual holding hands with or kissing their partner in public, you may rest assured that not everyone who receives the label has received it unjustifiably.


I agree with you that a lot of phobias are irrational, though of course there are certain events where having that phobia would be understandable to have. Anyways, I knew a couple homophobic people, and it was legitimate fear, but it was definitely irrational. They were only afraid because of stories that they heard when they were younger, and we all know how hearing things repeatedly when you're young can really affect you as you get older. I myself from maybe 7th grade up until maybe the beginning of 8th. had always thought gay people would rape anyone the chance they got, though this wasn't said in my household , it was just those things you hear around school and online. It also didn't help that one of my friends came out the closet(Which I didn't mind) but he also said, "Markel, you're the type of person I'd fuck in their sleep." And even though that was my first actual personal encounter with a gay person, it was pretty scary and disturbing and really only added onto what I was told. This is getting too long, but I got over that irrational fear once 8th grade hit and I met some other gay people who were cool and honestly not much different than "normal" people.

As far as the incorrect use of the term, "homophobia" it's actually somewhat bothersome to me to be honest. It might just be because idk when not liking something turned into a phobia rather than it just being an opinion. I've also experienced someone being asked, "Would you date someone of the same sex?" The other person replied with a no and then was called a homophobe, and that's probably the most annoying thing about that ya know?
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/5/16

MysticGon wrote:

Can't imagine anyone being afraid of homosexuals.


There's a lot of strange phobias. I remember this one guy I used to work with had a fear of "small bridges". No particular traumatic reason. He wasn't able to walk over any bridges, outright terrified of it, but he could drive over the Mackinaw bridge without a problem.

Plus keep in mind that people have the tendency to fear what they do not understand. It's actually more likely than one would think. Fear and hatred aren't exactly that far apart. I'm afraid of spiders, therefore I hate spiders. I'm afraid of clowns, therefore I hate clowns. Fear can be the root of some hate and that's why when people are quietly introduced to it they are almost more open to change.

It can be difficult to understand the minds of others, especially in the emotional or subjective.

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Posted 1/5/16

PrinceJudar wrote:


MysticGon wrote:

Can't imagine anyone being afraid of homosexuals.


There's a lot of strange phobias. I remember this one guy I used to work with had a fear of "small bridges". No particular traumatic reason. He wasn't able to walk over any bridges, outright terrified of it, but he could drive over the Mackinaw bridge without a problem.

Plus keep in mind that people have the tendency to fear what they do not understand. It's actually more likely than one would think. Fear and hatred aren't exactly that far apart. I'm afraid of spiders, therefore I hate spiders. I'm afraid of clowns, therefore I hate clowns. Fear can be the root of some hate and that's why when people are quietly introduced to it they are almost more open to change.

It can be difficult to understand the minds of others, especially in the emotional or subjective.



I'd pay good money to see someone who has a legitimate terror. How would they find out, I wonder. As for the word homophobia. I think it is a divisive buzzword that hurts the cause.
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Posted 1/5/16

Ejanss wrote:

If you mean "fear", no. It is physically impossible to live in mortal dread and terror of something that desperately annoys you.
(If it were, Shia LaBeouf would be the #1 horror-movie star.)

As for "Nails-on-chalkboard annoyance at loud, shallow, narcissstic and hyperdefensive self-indulgence", we need a more accurate word. Preferably one that can't be spun to more shallow, narcissistic, hyperdefensive and self-indulgent interpretations.


This. Most people aren't homophobic they have a disgust or disagree with homo. A fear would mean you get scared and try to avoid it like fear of darkness, fear of spiders, fear of heights.
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 1/5/16
There are people out there who will hate you for your skin colour, religion, political views, nationality or just for being you. It’s not much of stretch to assume that there will be people who hate you for who you fuck.
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Posted 1/5/16
I wish people would use real words instead of made up ones. Does anyone realize that 'homophobia' means fear of one or single? It shows how stupid the whole concept is. There is no "fear of homosexuality". Just disagreement.
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/5/16

Voc666IV wrote:

There are people out there who will hate you for your skin colour, religion, political views, nationality or just for being you. It’s not much of stretch to assume that there will be people who hate you for who you fuck.


Or just for bringing it up in every conversation, since it's the core "identity" distinction that separates the group from the majority status quo.

Put it this way:
Imagine if your friend was a non-stop hardcore Fantasy Baseball geek. He would give you updates about his team, and how they were headed for this year's League series. He would give you updates about how he was the only one smart enough to predict the Royals' lineup at the last team pick. About what a unifying experience it was when he went on his last vacation trip with all his online fantasy-baseball group to watch the Florida winter-training games, and what a celebratory experience it was to share it with so many who understood. He would use winking in-joke fantasy-baseball-fan metaphors for everything: "Hey, see that girl over there? She'd be my pick on Draft Day! " He keeps launching into anti-ESPN rants at every opportunity, just because the network "discriminated against their small audience" by cancelling their one fantasy-baseball update show, and participates in every online petition stunt to recognize their "huge" audience by bringing it back. And, of course, you could be excused for thinking that the next e-mail from him at any moment would be a "Refer a friend" promotion from his fantasy-baseball site, even though he keeps saying "No, you have to have been the right kind of fan from birth to get into this, most of the usual sports fans just don't understand what we're into, because they just want to go to stadiums and throw beer bottles at the umpire."

It's good that your friend has a hobby. And be honest, that's all it IS: A part-time hobby. It's not a race, it's not an ethnicity, and despite what he may think, it's not a full-time religion, either.
But it would be lying to say that there would not be some imaginable point in the present or near future where you might eventually flip out and say "I don't f***in' CARE about your stupid fantasy-baseball team! It's just a stupid nerd-game anyway, get a f***in' life, you FREAK!!!!"
Something you might not normally say to him when not relentlessly pushed to more hotheaded circumstances, but saying such a thing would certainly be inconsiderate of his feelings, and intolerant of an online group that had helped him find such unity and identity in his personal life....
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/5/16

TrickedMJ wrote:

I agree with you that a lot of phobias are irrational, though of course there are certain events where having that phobia would be understandable to have. Anyways, I knew a couple homophobic people, and it was legitimate fear, but it was definitely irrational. They were only afraid because of stories that they heard when they were younger, and we all know how hearing things repeatedly when you're young can really affect you as you get older. I myself from maybe 7th grade up until maybe the beginning of 8th. had always thought gay people would rape anyone the chance they got, though this wasn't said in my household , it was just those things you hear around school and online. It also didn't help that one of my friends came out the closet(Which I didn't mind) but he also said, "Markel, you're the type of person I'd fuck in their sleep." And even though that was my first actual personal encounter with a gay person, it was pretty scary and disturbing and really only added onto what I was told. This is getting too long, but I got over that irrational fear once 8th grade hit and I met some other gay people who were cool and honestly not much different than "normal" people.


What I mean by "irrational" is that the fear response is elicited without regard to whether the object of its focus actually poses any danger. For example, a person might be bitten by a dog and then forever be terribly frightened whenever in the mere presence of a dog regardless of whether that dog is actually dangerous to them. They know Fluffy loves them and would never bite them, but they're still positively terrified in every sense of the term in Fluffy's presence.

It's true that social biases and prejudicial practices can breed anxiety (as you saw), and I am glad you were able to come to accept that you met a bad homosexual rather than concluding that homosexuals are bad. Good on you, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.


As far as the incorrect use of the term, "homophobia" it's actually somewhat bothersome to me to be honest. It might just be because idk when not liking something turned into a phobia rather than it just being an opinion. I've also experienced someone being asked, "Would you date someone of the same sex?" The other person replied with a no and then was called a homophobe, and that's probably the most annoying thing about that ya know?


The term is definitely misapplied if someone is called a homophobe merely for not having an interest in dating someone of the same sex. One is not prejudiced merely for being heterosexual. That's ludicrous, and such use of the term dilutes its meaning and takes away its power. Still, "homophobia" is a word whose meaning is perfectly understood to not mean a clinical condition where one is terribly afraid of homosexuals or sameness in vernacular speech. There is no need to come up with a distinguishing word because the technical and vernacular definitions of words are allowed to differ. That's the case for words like "theory" and "law", so I see no reason why it couldn't be for the suffix "-phobia".
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/5/16

Shishiku wrote:
A Phobia literally is a fear... - using the semantics of "annoyance" is the wrong vocabulary. Anyone with a phobia has high anxiety towards something, causing fear and prejudice against that fear. The fear does not have to be in regards to life; it can be other just as irrational fears that extends, in the homophobia case, to "being turned gay" or "homosexual influence" - is most often what is feared when it comes to homophobia. Based on my experiences personally with the subject.


Based on my experiences, it is possible to be annoyed, if it's perceived as someone "overstepping their boundaries".

Try being a straight male and admitting you love to cook. Or that you like Disney movies and have visited the theme parks on more than one occasion. Now try admitting that you know the plot of at least three operas, or, if you live in the NYC area (grew up upstate), have a mild curiosity about what musicals will be nominated for the Tony. Try admitting that you've seen a classic Vincent Minelli movie on Turner Classic Movies, with or without Judy Garland in it. Try being upset about your child being bullied at school--for any reason--and supporting anti-bullying initiatives with the PTA on moral grounds.
Because one certain group is so intent on finding "their" shared experiences--and proving to the world that there are so "many" of them, and that "adopting their stereotypes" in public is somehow "mocking" back to their oppressors (a logic I have never once understood )--there is this constantly beaten message of "This is OURS, not YOURS! And if you like it too, either you don't deserve to, or you never know, ha-ha-haaaa... "

No one will inflict the current "Male-Moron Slavery" onto the next generation by telling a young straight male that it is his right and destiny to be a belching, overweight bacon-swilling sports hog with his TV remote glued to his hand and his butt glued to the recliner for the TBS Chuck Norris Marathon. But somehow, because somebody wanted a little attention in their public game of Red Rover, it has now become a sniggering, giggling question to his manhood to be smart.
The word "Metrosexual" used to apply to straight males who committed the unpardonable crime of being neat or having a more than high-school education, in the hopes of being a suitable provider for their mammal-mate--and suffering the confusion with the "stereotypes" a group wanted to merchandise under their own brand label--and now even that word has been co-opted by the gigglers to suggest someone who's "living in denial ".

Is "Annoyance" the wrong substitute for "Phobia"?
Okay, let's try another one then: How about "Really, really well-earned, fed-the-hell-up RESENTMENT."
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 1/5/16
No, now a dislike or hatred towards lgbt yeah. I don't think they're scared of them, maybe becoming them. But it's not an extreme fear or else they'd be having a panic attack. Those are not fun, I would know, I suffer them.

I just think it's dismissive to be calling one side that doesn't agree, homophobic.
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/5/16

Ejanss wrote:

Based on my experiences, it is possible to be annoyed, if it's perceived as someone "overstepping their boundaries".

Try being a straight male and admitting you love to cook. Or that you like Disney movies and have visited the theme parks on more than one occasion. Now try admitting that you know the plot of at least three operas, or, if you live in the NYC area (grew up upstate), have a mild curiosity about what musicals will be nominated for the Tony. Try admitting that you've seen a classic Vincent Minelli movie on Turner Classic Movies, with or without Judy Garland in it.
Because one certain group is so intent on finding "their" shared experiences--and proving to the world that there are so "many" of them, and that "adopting their stereotypes" in public is somehow "mocking" back to their oppressors (a logic I have never once understood )--there is this constantly beaten message of "This is OURS, not YOURS! And if you like it too, either you don't deserve to, or you never know, ha-ha-haaaa... "

No one will inflict the current "Male-Moron Slavery" onto the next generation by telling a young straight male that it is his right and destiny to be a belching, overweight bacon-swilling sports hog with his TV remote glued to his hand and his butt glued to the recliner for the TBS Chuck Norris Marathon. But somehow, because somebody wanted a little attention in their public game of Red Rover, it has now become a sniggering, giggling question to his manhood to be smart.
The word "Metrosexual" used to apply to straight males who committed the unpardonable crime of being neat or having a more than high-school education--and suffering the confusion with the "stereotypes" a group wanted to merchandise under their own brand label--and now even that word has been co-opted by the gigglers to suggest someone who's "living in denial ".

Is "Annoyance" the wrong substitute for "Phobia"?
Okay, let's try another one then: How about "Really, really well-earned, fed-the-hell-up RESENTMENT."


So what this basically boils down to is anger that society is corralling you in alongside gay men when it hands out its prejudices against people perceived to be sissies, your conclusion that society is able to so corral you because gay men who love theatre vocally refused to give up their passion for it in response to insistence that this passion only further solidified the accusation that they were sissies, and your ceaseless self-pity and fury whenever gay people refuse to allow their sexual orientation to be used as a weapon against themselves and their passions in any other facet of their lives that happens to overlap with your own.

Is that about the size of it?
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Posted 1/5/16 , edited 1/6/16

BlueOni wrote:So what this basically boils down to is anger that society is corralling you in alongside gay men when it hands out its prejudices against people perceived to be sissies, your conclusion that society is able to so corral you because gay men who love theatre vocally refused to give up their passion for it in response to insistence that this passion only further solidified the accusation that they were sissies, and your ceaseless self-pity and fury whenever gay people refuse to allow their sexual orientation to be used as a weapon against themselves and their passions in any other facet of their lives that happens to overlap with your own.

Is that about the size of it?


I'm saying that the "Let us use the weapon of the enemy against him!" strategy (oh, if we're quoting Jackson-Tolkien lines, did we forget that Boromir in LOTR was the loose cannon who ultimately went looney in his righteous-defensive zeal and ruined everything for everybody?) of rebelliously "celebrating" stereotypes is not only lunacy, it's dangerously self-defeating. The Only Way to Win Is Not To Play.
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem", and if you go out of your way to be as loudly and stereotypically Part of the Problem, you sure as hell aren't the solution. Do blacks start the Harlem Watermelons basketball team (with their motto "Feet, do yo' stuff!"), or do native tribes market Geronimo brand whiskey?
Simply put, you don't convince someone else they're "wrong" by going ludicrously out of your way to convince them they're "right". All you're doing is fulfilling your own personal schoolyard "I know you are, but what am I, neener-neener!" needs in reaction to being Picked On--telling yourself your getting back for the picking-on you had to take in school, long ago--and then not being aware that it only fuels the additional public stereotypes of gays being "vengeful", "immature" and "petty", and not worth being treated in any reasonable fashion. Wow, being unreasonable, tribal and divisive didn't help the situation, who knew??

It's the same reaction we have to Bronies, or comic-convention nerds, or, to use the earlier post, fantasy-baseball addicts:
We DON'T F***IN' CARE about your personal life, and you sure don't seem to care about ours in public, otherwise you'd let us live it once in a while. For someone who keeps crying "Live and let live", they don't quite seem to know the appeal of keeping their private lives to themselves and giving the other person the friendly personal respect and dignity of equal space...Maybe they only want half of it, the good half, and skip over the harder part, the one that's not as fun or rewarding for them.
You take too many of my prized possessions, including my public identity, I may begin asking for them back. I'll START by asking politely, because we've seen what happens with those who've moved on past politeness.
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Posted 1/5/16
I just lump it in with other shit that's considered to be ignorant.
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